Summary: Imagine a notebook that gave you the power to make any two people fall in love with each other: regardless of gender, race, or ideology. You can make enemies adore each other. Two shy people come closer. Friends become lovers. Blake finds such a notebook, the ShipNote, and with it becomes the Goddess of Matchmaking.

Thanks to narutochaos22: for editing and being able to smell the meta.

ShipNote

RWBY

Chapter 1

Written from the Perspective of Blake Belladonna

Rules of the ShipNote

'1. Two people's names who are written in this notebook, with a heart surrounding their names, will be shipped. Persons may only be shipped once.

2. The note will not take effect unless the writer has the persons' face in their mind when writing their names. Therefore, people sharing the same name will not be affected.

3. If the cause of ship is written within the next 40 seconds of writing the persons' name, it will happen.

4. If the cause of ship is not specified, the people will ship simply out of hormonal attraction.

5. After writing the cause of ship, details of the ship should be written in the next 6 minutes and 40 seconds.'

It was a truth universally acknowledged that every single person should be paired with another.

The world was meant to be united, not divided. After all, the best things in life came in pairs: salt and pepper, cookies and milk, magnets and puss-let's just scratch that last one. But we waste far too much time and breath pointing out petty differences that divide us. Rather, we should be looking at the commonalities that unite us. It's the little quirks that lead to crushes, admiration, and affections. It's the small things that brings us to that singular moment in our brief life spans where we've found the other sardine that fits so snugly with us in the little tin box known as the world.

Such thoughts occupied my mind as Professor Port droned on and on about another one of his escapades. Today's engaging monologue focused on how a black haired minx polished his trophies.

I spent most of the lecture just doodling. I'd already drawn cows in grassy plains. Added to that, I'd scribbled plenty of clouds-mostly cumulonimbus with a dash of cumulus, a jelly sandwich, a garden of blue roses, a bubble bath, and a hot pizza. There was even a sprinkle of catnip here and there. But my crowning achievement was a wedding between a bashful girl and a dorky guy with a surprise magical guest.

I turned the page. Tsk, it would seem that this notebook was already full. Maybe this part of my life was over.

The bell rang. Ah. It was. Time for lunch.

Ruby and Yang were already racing towards the cafeteria from the moment the minute hand had struck the hour. Weiss, however, was being held up by Jaune. Again. I walked past them. They should have some privacy after all. A public shaming for another failed proposition was the last thing Jaune needed for his self-esteem.

There were hardly any students in the courtyard. A late winter flu had taken out most of the school and, in effect, most of them were spending their time resting in the dorms. Today's menu was chicken noodle soup, served with orange juice and fizzy lemon drinks to help with sore throats. It wasn't anything that I looked forward to, so I took my time walking across the way. Maybe I could stop by the student store and pick up another notebook?

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye I noticed an unusual thing:

A pink notebook.

"What's this?" I wondered aloud. The courtyard at present was essentially empty. There was no one within any reasonable distance, so they couldn't have dropped it. I quickly flipped through the pages. They were all blank. Well, I suppose the age-old rule of finders keepers applied now. Holding the notebook in my hand, my eyes traced over the binding.

How unusual. The cover felt like leather. A silk bookmark ribbon of bright red, shaped like cupid's arrow was part of the binding. Tracing my hands over the leather, I realized that there was an indentation.

'ShipNote' was written in golden words that nearly blended into the bright pink.

I opened the cover. There was something written on the interior.

'This is the ShipNote,' it stated. 'Please read the Rules of the ShipNote.' I read the rules. There were five in total, written at the top of the page. It seemed like a silly game from middle school.

This is neat, I chuckled to myself. Maybe a girl with too many romantic fantasies and time on her hands had decided to make an elaborate prank. Whatever the case, the notebook was obviously of high quality. Thank the smiling stars above for giving me another notebook to doodle in.

Tucking the notebook away into my schoolbag, I hurried along to the cafeteria.

Fortunately, I was not the last to arrive. As expected, Ruby and Yang were already on their second helpings. Ren ate quietly while Nora had more of her lunch on her face than in her mouth. Pyrrha sat off to the side, an empty space to her right. It was an unspoken rule that Pyrrha would reserve a seat for Jaune.

Maybe my Faunus senses were off-kilter, but I think she might actually have a thing for him. Just maybe.

Speaking of which, Jaune and Weiss were late as per usual. They were probably going through 'the talk' again. And by 'the talk' I meant several minutes of Weiss consoling a crying Jaune after a verbally vicious rejection that shattered whatever small amount of self-respect the Arc boy had for himself. Though Weiss would probably argue that he had no self-respect to begin with. She's icy like that.

Taking a seat to Pyrrha's left, I set down my tray of chicken noodle soup.

"I wonder how it went this time around," I heard Pyrrha say softly to her soup. She wasn't talking to anyone in particular, but it sounded like she wanted someone - anyone - to talk to. However, the rest of the table weren't the type to discuss this sort of matter, so I guessed she must have been talking to me.

"It probably went just like the other times," I said, taking in a spoonful of chicken. It was dry, but it still warmed my tummy. "You know how Weiss is." I rolled my eyes. "She can reject a thousand guys but still feel bad about it afterwards. And Jaune has a habit of crying for quite a while," I added.

That was the understatement of the century. Legends say the fountain by the school gate used to be dry before he came along.

"That's true." Pyrrha chuckled. "You're probably right. There's nothing to worry about…" Her voice trailed off. She was worried.

Rest assured, there was no way Jaune and Weiss would ever be together. It was simply unfathomable. While I firmly believed that there was someone for everyone, the reality of the situation prevented these two particular people from ever coming together. Their history didn't allow for it. And as for their personalities… they just clashed. There was no chemistry, no… magic. Heh, it was a one in a million-no, a one in a billion shot that Weiss would ever agree on a date with Jaune. Much less go out with him.

Well, even if it was a one in a billion shot that Weiss actually says 'yes' to Jaune, then all it'd take is a billion attempts. Considering Jaune's record so far, he'd get there by next year.

"There, there," I said comfortingly, patting Pyrrha on the back. "How're things going with him, anyway?"

Pyrrha blushed softly. "N-nothing's going on. We just train from time to time…" she stuttered. "He spends most of his time in front of the drawing board."

"Thinking up plans on how to ask out our lovable heiress?" I quipped in jest.

"Not just thinking, actually," she sighed. "When I said drawing board, I meant that he has an actual drawing board. He's been writing out flowcharts and diagrams and calculations and all these percentages." Pyrrha laughed, covering her mouth. "If only he'd put that much effort into projectile calculus or any other of his classes. He'd have no problem passing them with flying colors."

I gently bumped my fist into her shoulder and leaned in.

"Then maybe it's your job to set him on the right track," I said with a wink.

Pyrrha turned red, but did her best to smile. "I will."

We continued our meal in silence… well, at least we did. The others were engaged in animated discussion about the plausibility of Baked Alaska. Who wanted fried ice cream anyway? I had a forkful of noodles halfway to my mouth before remembering that I had something in my possession. Rummaging through my book bag, I quickly found the item.

Looking through the soft bindings, I thought to myself that it might be worth writing down.

Opening it up, I smiled as I re-read the rules. These two could never be together. It would only be in the minds of a desperate soul. This was a pairing that would, nay, could only exist in writing. Weiss and Jaune would one day find someone, but it wouldn't be each other. But hey, on paper anything can exist… even the most demented and backwards of pairings.

Though Ruby did seem to be a bit too intimate with Crescent Rose…

Anywho, here's to the first doodle.

'Weiss Schnee x Jaune Arc' I wrote before drawing a heart around it.

I laughed. Pyrrha looked at me with a slightly bemused smile. Well, at least I thought it was funny. I put my notebook away and continued on with my lunch.

Lunch was nearly over by the time the last two members of our group arrived. Flushed red, and their clothes slightly disheveled, they approached the table.

My nose picked up a scent. They smelt like sweat and shame and… frustration.

"Hey Weiss! Hey Jaune!" Ruby chirped happily, momentarily taking a break from cheering on Yang and Nora in their deadlocked arm wrestling match.

"H-hey," Weiss stuttered. I noticed she was fiddling with her thumbs behind her back. It was a trait that suggested she was nervous… but about what?

Smoothing out her skirt, Weiss took her seat. Pyrrha scooted over for Jaune to take his. It was the usual ritual, Jaune would take said seat, put his hands to his face and sob for a few more minutes over yet another failed expedition towards Weiss' heart. It was the normal thing to happen. The status quo, if you will.

Jaune sat next to Weiss.

Wait. Something was wrong here. Something was definitely, definitely wrong.

Yang, Nora and Ruby hadn't noticed a thing. They were too busy with their little match. But I'd noticed. Pyrrha had definitely noticed. She was tilting her head and so was I.

"Jaune… don't you usually sit there?"

Ren, thank goodness for you and your ability to ask the right questions.

Jaune laughed. It was a nervous laugh. Like one that came with a very awkward answer. Due to my heightened senses, I could hear his heartbeat quicken. Weiss' too.

Huh. So she does have one. Ice Queen be damned.

Both of their hearts were beating fast, but I couldn't understand why… no. It can't be. It couldn't be. It must be a thing. This had to be a thing.

"Well… you see… Ren… buddy…" Jaune smiled sheepishly. "Actually, everyone… You see… Weiss… we… uh…"

Ruby and the rest of them still weren't paying them any attention. Pyrrha leaned in closer. So did I. Ren's eyes were glued to the pair.

Weiss looked down. She hid her face. "Idiot… just say it," she commanded softly.

"Yeah… um…" Jaune continued to fumble his words. "The thing is…"

'The thing is'? What 'thing'? What 'is'?

"Is…?" There was a hint of fear in Pyrrha's tone.

"Weiss and I are kind of… a thing."

Silence. A long one at that.

"What?" Ren was the first to speak, his mouth hanging open.

"J-Jaune… wh-what are you saying?" Pyrrha looked like she was about to cry.

"Hold up." I shook my head. "Are you saying that you." I jammed my finger towards Jaune. "And her." I swung my arm around to point at Weiss. "Are a couple?" I asked… well, demanded for clarity.

Weiss nodded with a sigh.

"Yes, the doofus and I are dating."

"WHAT?"

Yang's eyes darted towards the newfound couple. But alas, her loss of concentration came with a cost.

"Nora SMASH!"

The poor dragon's eyes barely had the chance to widen before Nora flipped her all the way across the cafeteria.

Chapter 1 Fin

Author's Notes: CAN YOU SMELL THE META?

Editor's Notes: Meta has a smell?