Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn, Naruto, One Piece, Beyonce's "Single Ladies" or Bruno Mars' "Marry you".
Based in Pre-Fated Day timeline (and yes, I realize that OP and Mars may not have existed before they were cursed).
Summary: Skull being his obnoxious self in order to get payback/blackmail for Viper (for whom he owes a debt to). P.S. If you look up just "Lal Mirch" on Google Images, peppers show up, too.
Part 1
Verde walked into the living room, raising a brow when he saw Viper setting up one of his tripod cameras. He looked at Lal, who was curled up in an armchair. The woman shrugged in answer to his silent question before motioning to the accompanying side chair. Verde moved to the seat and sat down, placing his water on the coffee table and dropping his notes on his knees.
Looking at the camera, he noticed it was aimed towards the sitting area and eyed Viper. "That's one of the normal cameras, right?"
Viper looked at him flatly (and it said something when Verde could tell despite the Mist not moving any facial feature). "Mou, do I look that stupid? Of course it's a normal camera." He turned back to the dials.
Verde blinked before sharing a wary look with Lal, who had a nervous expression as she stared hard at the Mist. Her light eyes had a tint of fear and they both shrank back in their chairs, Lal pulling her feet closer while Verde carefully set his notes down between the chairs.
They glanced over at the hall as Renato and Fon entered the room, the former raising an eyebrow and the latter tilting his head when they saw Verde and Lal's worried looks. Renato moved to lounge on the chaise, lightly placing his espresso on the side table. Fon sat on the ottoman and set his tea beside Verde's water.
The Chinese Storm blinked at them, eyes shifting between the two. "Is something wrong?"
Lal answered as she shifted to watch Viper. "Verde asked Viper a question, and he didn't say a price."
The Sun and Storm shared bemused looks, before Renato huffed and let his head drop lightly against the arm of the chaise. "I'm sure Viper wants to spring it on Verde in a strange situation." Verde noticed with slight amusement that the Sun had his head carefully tilted towards Viper.
Fon looked between the four with him before shaking his head in a slight smile. "Have you ever thought of Viper giving one for free?"
He promptly received three unimpressed looks from his colleagues. Sweat formed when he noticed the gleam in Verde's eyes, clearly not wanting to owe the Mist any money.
Right as Verde opened his mouth to snap at the Storm, instrumental music began playing, the same kind at a wedding.
They all looked around… Before a white blur flew through the air, landing on Renato and practically purring, "Re-na-to-sen-pai, won't you take responsibility?"
The Sun (with a slightly stunned expression) could only stare at the Cloud, was currently pouting at him, make-up done to make him look (Verde can't believe he's thinking this, but-) stunning with a wedding dress and veil tossed and high heels.
Verde moved his jaw, trying to come up with something, but failed. He looked at Fon and Lal, wondering if they would do or say something… Judging by their faces probably not.
Fon was staring at the Sun and Cloud with an expression mixed between confusion and amusement. Lal was simply blinking, her face completely blank. Verde flinched slightly when the music changed and all four bristled like cats in a thunderstorm.
"ITSA BEAUTIFUL NIGHT!" Skull all but screeching, swinging a horrified Renato up from the couch and into the air, looping his arms around the man as he began dancing around the room. Their jaws fell as the Cloud continued his sing-screeching. "WE'RE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING DUMB TO DOOOOO! HEY, BAYBAY! I THINK I WANNA MARRY YOUUU!"
Renato tried kicking Skull, but with one arm stuck in Skull's grasp and his legs stuck together against the Cloud's body, he wasn't able to do much. His free hand was pushing at Skull's shoulder, trying to free himself. Verde figured the purple-haired man was using Cloud flames to keep a hold of Renato, knowing that the sun was the most powerful out of the group (not that he'd ever say that aloud).
"IF WE WAKE UP AND YA WANNA BREAK UP DAT'S COOOOOL!" Skull was slurring his words a bit as he danced, concentrating on not breaking his heels and dodging Renato's slaps. "NO, I WON'T BLAME YOU-U-U!"
Abruptly, Skull shot closer to Verde and dropped Renato into the Lightning's lap, making the greennet catch Renato before he fell. Spinning on his toes, the Cloud swept up Lal bridal style. Lal, with panic on her face, practically latched onto him, her face pressed against the decal flower on Skull's shoulder.
"WHO CARES BAYBAY! I THINK I WANNA MARRY YOUUU!" Skull warbled, just as the music faded. Coming to a halt, he lightly dropped Lal on the chaise and huffed. Tugging the veil (and wig that Verde hadn't noticed) off, he dropped them off and released the latches on his heels. Skull shook his head and turned to Fon, a wide, wicked grin on his face.
Verde had to blink a couple times before realizing that, yes, Fon's hair did in fact poof out, similar to a cat's tail. The Lightning pressed his face against Renato's arm to smother a laugh.
Renato didn't even hit him for it, raising his free arm to press a hand against his mouth as he shook silently in Verde's lap. They both returned their attention back to the Cloud and Storm.
Fon was glaring at Skull, as if daring the Cloud to try something. Said Cloud was wiggling, similar to a cat before pouncing. They all stilled as music began playing again. Skull's grin got wider and his lips spread.
"ALL DA SINGLE LAY-DES! ALL DA SINGLE LAY-DES! ALL DA SINGLE LAY-DES!" He sing-screeched before lunging at Fon. The Storm tried, but ultimately failed, caught in a tighter embrace than Lal. His expression was that of complete and total horror as the two spun around the room. Skull was still in his heels somehow.
Lal burst out into giggles, clutching herself as Renato slumped in Verde's lap, face buried in his hands. Verde himself, bit his lip, intent on memorizing Fon's expression. Absently, he wondered what Luce's reaction would be if she were there instead of a Giglio Nero meeting. She'd probably laugh herself into early labor.
Finally remembering Viper, Verde turned his head and huffed. The Mist was crouching, watching as Skull spun Fon, hands pressed to his mouth as his shoulder shook. That didn't hide the wide, uncharacteristic grin on his face. Verde's mouth dropped when he saw the red light on. He looked at Viper, who was staring at him. The Mist simply smirked at him.
"Oh, shit!" They heard Skull exclaim and quickly turned back around just as a loud Bang! went off.
Verde blinked stupidly at the sight of a high heel stuck in the far wall, waist level for the average man.
"Ooops," Skull muttered as he awkwardly balanced on his remaining high heel. "Didn't mean to do that."
Lal wheezed and rolled off the chaise, smacking at the floor as she tried to breath. Verde spared her a glance before focusing on the shoe. "You know…" he began, squinting at the shoe. "If that were a man, he would've lost the ability to reproduce."
Fon let out a strangled noise and looked at a sheepish Skull in terror. Renato continued to shake, almost hunched over now. Verde pondered what else Skull could do if he could aim his heels with good accuracy.
Viper and Lal were both down in a fit of helpless cackles, the camera still going.
TBC + Omake
Renato stared into the violet eyes of a rather stunning young woman. Lips pursed into a pout as their eyes locked, he took in the pale features that went nicely with the purple tinted eyes, blonde hair in a bun with loose curls falling gently beside rosy cheeks. Letting his hands rest on her lean and slim waist, he saw over her shoulder that she was wearing a corset dress. Absently, the Hitman wondered if the woman would let him take it off-
"Re-na-to-sen-pai, won't you take responsibility?"
'What?'
'Senpai?!'
His eyes refocused on the woman, face frozen in shock as he realised that it was the Lackey. His jaw fell open slightly.
The music played and he was swept up and into the air. His shock cost him the freedom of three limbs and it was all he could in his silent and (hopefully) hidden horror. It was all Renato could do to make sure he didn't hurt himself.
'This is so not fun! Not at all!' He roared internally. 'Why does the Lackey have to make such a nice woman?!'
This is what happens when the Author tries reading other fanfics for inspiration. The Author failed, and now is stuck writing things about SKull and not Sanji and Co… the Author has absolutely no regrets though.