"There are three main things that always ruin our plans," a pixie said. He was at the end of a large table on the opposite side of Head Pixie and Sanderson. Along the other sides of the gray rectangular tables were random pixies and an empty chair the pixie in the front use to be sitting in. The pixie poofed up a giant blank poster next to him. " They are the Anti-Fairies." A picture of Anti-Cosmo, Anti-Wanda, and Foop appeared on the poster. Anti-Cosmo and Foop looked to be evilly laughing and Anti-Wanda was eating a sandwich with her feet. "The Fairies." The poster now shows Jorgen von Strangle laughing triumphantly. "But mostly by Turner and his fairies." A picture of Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof appeared. They were all standing or floating, in normal positions. With a pixely gray cloud saying 'finished', the poster disappeared.
"Interesting," Sanderson said. "What should we do about it?"
"I haven't thought that far," the pixie said.
The pixie in the front stared blankly through his sunglasses at Head Pixie and Sanderson. A fiery pit opened beneath the pixie. "no," the pixie said emotionlessly as he fell into the void. A new pixie poofed into the empty chair of the other pixie.
"Maybe we could use the Anti-Fairies to help take out the Faries. Our forces combined can take out the pesky Fairies." the new pixie said. He had a deep voice.
"Pesky?" Sanderson asked in a monotone voice.
"He must be a special pixie. I'll send him down to the fire too," Heap Pixie said.
"No," the new pixie said, almost not emotionless, "I have a plan."
Head Pixie stared at the new pixie in a listening way but had him hand over the button to open the pit.
"Anti-Cosmo is basically the opposite of gullible, so what would his fairy be?" the new pixie asked rhetorically.
"Rhetorical questions. This pixie isn't adequate for a meeting of Fairy World domination." a random pixie at the table said.
"My plan is foolproof," The strange pixie said and held up a page with a recipe on it. "I made a cookie that makes fairies instantly healthier. If we give it to Cosmo, Anti-Cosmo will be useless. Without Anti-Cosmo, Anti-Fairy World will be easy to conquer."
"His plan seems well thought through," Sanderson said.
"Seems like it would work out," Head Pixie said.
"I'll give you the recipe as long as I can get to rule over Anti-Fairy world after it's all done. And Anti-Cosmo has to be locked up in the best and tortuose prison in existence," The special pixie said. He sounded excited.
Head Pixie and Sanderson exchanged looks and looked back at the special pixie.
"If the plan does not work," Sanderson started.
"You will get a worse fate than the fire," Head Pixie finished.
"Trust me, that won't happen," the strange pixie said while smiling evilly.
"What's your name?" Head pixie asked.
"Ludba," the strange pixie said. Head Pixie and Sanderson instantly knew why the pixie was so different. Pixies may not be geniuses like Anti-Cosmo is, but they do know how to solve a puzzle. Based on the reputation of 'Ludba', the pixies knew he wasn't tricking them; he just needed the pixies help to take down Anti-Cosmo and take over Anti-Fairy world.
"It will be a pleasure doing business with you." Head Pixie said. Ludba's evil smile widened.
~~~~~~~~~000~~~~~~~~~
A Pixie poofed up next to a sleeping Cosmo.
"Oh Phillip, you're such a beautiful woman, but Wanda is my love, even if she's a potato," Cosmo mumbled in his sleep as he cuddled with a nickel in his green race car bed.
The pixie poofed a soundproof barrier around him and Cosmo then made a poofed up alarm go off.
"No Timmy! That's my nickel!" Cosmo yelled as he woke up and threw his nickel at the Pixie. The random Pixie was completely unfazed by the coin and handed Cosmo a green tinted chocolate chip cookie.
"Eat this. It is delicious. I will bring one every day at this time for you," the pixie said very robotically.
Cosmo, seeing nothing suspicious in the situation, took the cookie. He almost took a bit but then looked at his wife. "But Wanda tells me not to eat a cookie before bed."
"Cosmo. Eat the cookie."
"Well, if you put it that way," Cosmo said and shoved the cookie in his mouth. His pupils dilated at the delicious taste of the cookie. "This is amazing!"
"I will be here tomorrow with more of these cookies." the Pixie said and poofed away himself and the sound barrier.
Although he was filled with sugar, Cosmo went to sleep surprisingly fast.
~~~~~~~~~000~~~~~~~~~
Anti-Cosmo got shaken awake by his son. Not a great way to start a morning.
"Father, my flying death machine broke down and you can't just poof to spellementary school. can you drive me?" Foop asked.
"Ask your mother," Anti-Cosmo said, pulling the blanket over his head so Foop would hopefully stop bugging him. For some reason, he was really tired.
Foop couldn't take a hint. He pulled the blanket off of his dad. "But Father, Mother never passed driving school because she got kicked out on the first day for eating the seats."
Anti-Cosmo groaned. Foop had a point, so it would be his fault if Foop misses a day. "Fine," he said reluctantly. Anti-Cosmo grabbed his monocle and wand from the nightstand next to him and started walking to the front door of his castle.
"Father?" Foop said with a questioning tone in his voice. Anti-Cosmo put on his monocle and looked up at his son.
"Yes?"
"Why are you walking?"
Anti-Cosmo was tired so he didn't really notice he wasn't floating like his son. He stopped walking and looked at his wings and made them flap, even though he knew that it was useless. "Hm... intriguing notion. Why aren't I floating..." Anti-Cosmo said to himself. He sounded genuinely curious. Foop could tell that his father wasn't walking on purpose, so he got slightly concerned.
"If you can't fly, how are you suppose to take me to school? The bomb I made isn't going to blow Poof up on its own." Foop said.
Anti-Cosmo glared at Foop. "You ignorant boob," he said and continued walking towards the front door. "Magical cars can still fly even if their driver can't. What are they even teaching you in that school of yours?"
"Sometimes how to read spell books, but mostly we learn how annoyingly popular counterpart is compared to me," Foop said.
"Fairies are always more popular than Anti-Fairies. It's kind of racist, but we get used to it."
"The Fairies always get special treatment." Foop complained, "I turned my entire species into colourful, cuddly, and cute animals on my first day of being alive; I should be the one getting praise! Not stupid Poof."
"I thought we agreed to never speak of you making Anti-Fairy world utterly horrid and bright," Anti-Cosmo said as he stepped outside the castle, his son floating close behind. Anti-Cosmo raised his black wand. It glowed blue and a jet black jet poofed in front of them. It had a dark blue lightning bolt picture going across its side.
"Is this a new design?" Foop asked.
"Yes. This one can reach an acceleration of six thousand five hundred kilometres per hour." Anti-Cosmo said, sounding excited.
"Kilometres? How many miles is that? 100?" Foop asked. (A/N: 6,500 kilometres per hour is about 4,040 miles per hour or 67.3 miles per second.)
Anti-Cosmo stared at Foop. "Get in the jet before I disown you."
Foop didn't want to take any chances with his metric system loving father, so he got into the jet. Anti-Cosmo followed and turned the jet on. "Buckel up. A kilometre is larger than you think."
The jet flew up in the air and hovered a bit. it then changed from zero miles per hour to just about six thousand five hundred in less than a millisecond. It flattened the square Anti-Fairy against the seat. Before Foop could figure out what happened, the plane was in front of the school.
"I'm going to find out why I can't fly. Hopefully, we both learn something worthwhile today. Mention the metric system, and if your teach refuses to teach it, give her this," he said and handed him a green bow with a black arrow in it. "Have a terrible day at school." Anti-Cosmo pressed a red button that ejected Foop out forcefully from the jet with a large boxing glove. The jet flew away at monumental speeds again.
"Well. My father is very loving," Foop said sarcastically. He looked at the bow as he floated into school. "Well, at least he gave me a weapon," Foop said as he entered spellementary school.
A falling apart car pulled up to the school. "Hey Dad, do me a favour and never drive me to school again," Poof said as he floated out of the car.
"Aww, you sound just like your mother," Cosmo said.
"There's a reason for that," Poof said. He noticed his father had more energy than usual today. It was kind of scary. "Anyways, I have to get to class. Bye Dad, see you after school."
"Bye Poof," Cosmo called to his leaving son. He floated back into the car and immediately crashed it.
~~~~~~~~~000~~~~~~~~~
"Really! How did you make a bow that turns someone British? We got stuck watching and analysing Doctor Who all day!" Foop yelled into the castle. "And thanks for not picking me up," Foop yelled sarcastically. "I had to take a ride with Sammy Sweetsparkle. It was worse than death."
"Oh, Foop! I missed ya so much!" Anti-Wanda yelled as he tackled her son in a hug.
"Ew, affection," Foop said disgustedly as he pushed his mom off.
"Yer dad has been so borin today. He even put himself to sleep wit borin-ness," Anti-Wanda complained.
Cosmo quite likes to take afternoon naps, so Anti-Cosmo has never taken one. Foop remembered how his Dad couldn't fly earlier. "Does Father seem off today?" Foop asked his mom.
Anti-Wanda shrugged. "I never knew he was on. Does he have a switchy-majig on him to turn him on and off?" She asked. Foop got reminded that his mom was an idiot and she probably wouldn't be much help.
"Father," Foop called through the castle.
A dark blue poofed appeared on top of the floor next to Anti-Wanda. When it dissipated very shortly after, Anti-Cosmo was standing with his arms crossed. His hair was messier than usual and he looked irritated. "What?" he asked. All the enthusiasm he had in the morning was gone.
"Foop says that you have a switch that needs to be turned back on," Anti-Wanda said.
Anti-Cosmo looked at Foop for an explanation. He wasn't even going to try and decipher his wife's utter stupidity. Foop could tell now wasn't a good time to lie to his father. "I asked mother if you seemed off," Foop said.
"Yes. I found out the reason I can't fly is because of an illness and not a scientific breakthrough I could use to take over Fairy World. It was quite upsetting for multiple reasons." Anti-Cosmo said.
Foop laughed slightly. "The evil and powerful ruler of Anti-Fairy World has been stopped by not Jorgen, but a cold," he said, enjoying the irony. When Foop saw his father's glare of pure evil, he knew that he should have kept his mouth shut. The wand that just appeared in Anti-Cosmo's hand glowed blue and a fat angered raccoon that looked to have rabies appeared above Foop. "Sorry," Foop said right before the raccoon attacked him.
Anti-Wanda poofed the raccoon away, but Foop still had a lot of scratches and probably rabies. "Just because yer sick doesn't mean ya can take it out of our son." She said to her husband.
Anti-Wanda and Cosmo looked their weirdly colored (for their species) eyes. Anti-Cosmo sighed. "Foop, I'm sorry I made a racoon attack you," he said, not sounding like he meant it.
Foop knew he was asking for it, so he decided it best to move on. "What are you sick with anyways?" Foop asked, curious how long he'll have to put up with a sick father.
"I don't have enough symptoms to say for sure. Most illnesses Anti-Fairies can get involve not being able to fly and fatigue." Anti-Cosmo said like it was common knowledge.
"Should we call Doctor Anti-what'shisface?" Anti-Wanda asked.
"Doctor Anti-Studwell won't be needed. I have enough medical books to be a better doctor than him. Besides, all the Anti-Fairy illnesses that don't have cures are gone in under a week," Anti-Cosmo said.
"While you're sick, can I be ruler of Anti-Fairy World?" Foop asked.
Anti-Cosmo raised his wand and had the same look on his face from when he made the raccoon. He then glanced at his wife and put his wand down. "No, you idiot, you can't. You'll get power crazy, tell everyone you're the ruler of Anti-Fairy World, then knowing the most powerful Anti-Fairy is no longer fit to rule, something will try to take us over. Anti-Fairies are one of the most powerful species after all."
"Will I ever get to rule?" Foop asked
"I'm immortal, so no."
"Can I rule then?" Anti-Wanda asked.
"No," Anti-Cosmo said and poofed away before his family could pester him some more.
~~~~~~~~~nothing of interest~~~~~~~~~
The pixie appeared and dropped a green-hued cookie on Cosmo's face and disappeared. When the cookie hit his face, he woke up. Cosmo ate the cookie and fell back asleep.
~~~~~~~~~well, that was short~~~~~~~~~
Foop hovered over his sleeping father contemplating if he should wake him. Anti-Cosmo wasn't sleeping in his shared bed with Anti-Wanda, he was on the floor in front of a desk. He was cuddling with a black book titled 'Anti-Fairies Ailments' with dark blue letters. His monocle was still on, but his hair was beyond a mess, so Foop couldn't tell whether his dad has an extra magical monocle that doesn't fall off with tossing and turning in sleep or messy hair was just a symptom of the illness. Foop thought it would be best to wake him, mostly because his father really wants Foop to strive at school like he did when he was young, so missing a day would get a healthy Anti-Cosmo angered as well. Slightly fearing for his life, Foop gently shook his father.
"Anti-healthy disease," Anti-Cosmo mumbled as Foop shook him.
Foop stopped. "What?"
Anti-Cosmo handed him 'Anti-Fairies Ailments'. "Cosmo did something healthy so now I have to suffer."
"'Anti-healthy disease: An illness only catchable by opposite species like Anti-Fairies." Foop read, "It happens when the counterpart of the individual is abnormally healthy. It usually lasts for two to five days. Not contagious unless the healthiness on the other side is. Symptoms of other common Anti-Fairy diseases'. Symptoms of other common Anti-Fairy diseases? Why didn't it list its symptoms?"
In the time that Foop was reading, Anti-Cosmo poofed up tea and straightened his hair out slightly, but it was still much messier than usual. "The author was cheap and published two books instead of one big one. 'Anti-Fairies Ailments Symptoms' is somewhere over there."
Foop looked at the closed book in his hand then looked at his father. "Can I go to school now?"
Anti-Cosmo coughed into the arm that wasn't holding tea. "Don't kill yourself," Anti-Cosmo said and poofed up a new 'flying death machine' for Foop. It was bigger and looked much more powerful, fast, and deadly.
"Thank you, Father!" Foop exclaimed and hugged his father in excitement. Anti-Cosmo was decently colder than Anti-Fairies usually are.
Anti-Cosmo smiled. "You're so adorable when you're affectionate." Foop quickly lets go of his father.
"Gotta get to school," Foop said and jumped into the dark blue, tie fighter looking, airplane and flew away.
"I bet he'd be a great ruler of Anti-Fairy World one day," Anti-Cosmo thought as Foop left.
A/N: So this is my first published fanfiction. It's a bit weird and oddly paced. There will be more Timmy and fairies in the next chapter. I hope I got their characters decently, I haven't watched that much FOP recently. I thought it would be cool since I'm changing the spelling for Anti-Wanda's speech I'll make the spelling for Anti-Cosmo's and Foop's speak to the British way. It might not continue in further chapters. I know the title isn't true to the illness's actual title, but I thought it flowed better that way. Comment a better name if you think of one. Anyway, I hope you like it. Please review, favorite, and follow.