The wind beat against her back as she stood in the thin blue world that surrounded the peak of the mountain. Her breath sent wreaths of fog floating out and up, the only sign of movement for miles on end. Even after losing the brand of "outcast" she still felt ill at ease among her tribe. And so here she was, restless and unsure of herself, alone on an outcropping far above the recovering world.
She didn't really know why she had come, but then again, she did. HADES was gone, but so was Elisabet.
Her "mother".
Aloy knew in her heart that it was foolish, foolish to think that somehow she had survived.
A child's hope.
It had been a child's hope, however, that began her on this quest to find her place in her tribe. She had failed miserably at that she thought, almost snorting with amusement. Too far the other direction still left her alone and with a thousand unanswered questions burning in her mind, an insatiable curiosity she was cursed to share with no one.
And so here she was, still lost. Once they thought she was the child of a machine, now she was the child of the Goddess. And in the end, both were true. Sudden bitterness struck through her, like the icy air.
'Not only do I have a mother,' she thought wryly, 'I have two: A broken AI scattered across a mountain range and the smartest woman in the world who couldn't figure out how to close a fucking door'.
Immediately as she thought it, she felt the guilt wash over her. They had given everything so that she could have a chance. The turmoil bubbled inside her, escaping through a long sigh. And ultimately, wasn't that what drew her here? To the twisted metal ruins of Gaia Prime, sprawled out below her.
She gripped the ring of the lantern tighter in her hands, her mind flashing back to the ceremony just before the proving.
'In honor of my mother, whose name I would know if she hadn't abandoned me at birth.'
"So," she said aloud, wind snatching her words from her, "In my defense... I didn't really know did I?"
The excuse seemed unsubstantial even to her, but perhaps that nagging feeling of guilt was what pushed her to come here. To make amends. To finally acknowledge the sacrifice that had saved the world that she knew.
"If you don't mind, I'd like a do over. I'm sorry," she trailed off, feeling a lump rising in her throat.
She knelt and, holding the lantern close, spoke.
"In honor of my mother. And all that she did to help me get here. In honor of her sacrifice."
A ragged breath later and the ache bloomed in her chest, tears springing to her eyes. Fumbling, she shifted the lantern and saw the sparks rise as she cracked the flint together. An orange blossom bloomed under the lantern, as it rose slowly into the sky.
"All-Mother hear my prayer. What am I but my mother's hope that took flight? A glowing flame that climbed the air set free to the wind, and will sail the sky, till it fades and falls."
The last words came almost as a whisper, in a broken voice.
"So from one to another, passes the chain of love."
The lantern rose into the brilliantly blue sky, and Aloy watched until she couldn't bear the brightness anymore, eyes watering. And then she let herself sink to her knees.
And she cried.
She cried for Rost, for the family he lost and his death. She cried for Vala, and even Bast, for the future they lost. She cried for her tribe, for their loses and for the losses of all of the people she had come to know and love. For Varl, for Erend, for Vanasha, for Talanah. And she cried for Elisabet, for the weight of everything she did, for the unfairness of it all.
And she cried for herself, and for all that might have been, in another life. Grief rolled out, wave after wave, until she wondered if it would ever end. But with every sob she felt lighter, and with every tear that splashed hot against the frozen stones, she was letting go. Of her ideas about how her life SHOULD have been, of the bitterness, and resentment that had twisted inside her for so long. It would be a long time before it was completely gone. But here, at the birthplace of the world, maybe she could begin to shape her new life.