One sunny morning Raito was eaten by an evil shinigami tree sent by the death gods to smite him. However, Raito had such a god complex and was such a jerk, the tree couldn't take it anymore and spat him out. Still, in an attempt to complete his mission, the tree bit Raito and gave him man-eating tree poisoning. He needed an antidote but did not know where to go for one. So he asked L, who said, "Screw you, Kira!"
"I am not Kira!" replied Raito.
"That is exactly what Kira said when he spiked by strawberries with vodka!" L retorted.
"I didn't spike your strawberries with vodka!" said a protestant Raito.
"So, you deny spiking the strawberries, but admit to being Kira?"
"But…but…I am not Kira!" stuttered Raito.
"So you spiked the strawberries?" L interrogated as he took a bite out of his strawberry.
"No! I did not spike the strawberries, and I am not Kira!" Raito said, growing more a more frustrated by the minute.
"So are you the strawberries that spiked Kira?" L said accusingly
"What?" Raito remarked incredulously, "What the heck is the heck is that supposed to mean?
"I'm just saying you look a little strawberryish…" said the now very smug looking detective.
"I do not look like a strawberry!'
"Well…if you are not a strawberry then you must be Kira!"
"How the hell did you come up with that?" said Raito, now utterly baffled.
"Strawberries are good, since you detest them, you must be evil."
"I do not detest strawberries, but I do not like being one"
"What is so wrong with being a strawberry you evil, sadistic bastard." Raito now looked ready to take a swing at L.
"Why would anyone want to be compared to one?"
"I would! But that's beside the point…You! Kira! Evil!"
"I am not Kira! Why don't you believe me?"
"Don't make me explain the strawberry theory again!"
"The strawberry theory explains nothing!"
"The strawberry theory explains everything!"
"No it does not!" Raito grabbed L by the shirt.
"Interesting use of logic…You must be Kira!"
"I am not Kira!" Raito screamed, still shaking L, "This whole argument is pointless."
"Your plan to kill off all criminals in pointless," L stated as he calmly wriggled free of Raito's grasp.
"I am not killing of criminals!" Raito said as he walked away angrily. L smile triumphantly. Strawberries rock! The next day Raito died of man-eating tree poisoning.