A Very Johnkat Christmas
Part One
You are John Egbert and you have no clue where the hell you are. You think that it's Christmas, but you're not sure. All you know is that the last thing you thought was a half-fanciful wish: to meet your extremely long-distance (boy?)friend.
You wake up in your pajamas on an unfamiliar floor, freezing cold. The floor- no, the ground under you is cold and slightly damp, like tightly-packed earth. Your hair is half in your face and your glasses are all askew; you can barely see a thing. As you sit up, you brush your hair out of your face and right your glasses, looking around the room.
You've never seen a room like this before. It's relatively bare, with only a couch- if you could call the crude piece of furniture a couch- and what appears to be a TV, hooked up to a seething, living thing that looks sort of like a bee larva. Through the dark, you can barely make out the walls: they have uneven surfaces, and what look like hexagonal carvings.
You scramble to your feet and brush off your clothing. Can't have your nice pajamas covered in alien dirt. That makes you wonder again- exactly where the hell are you, anyway? You stumble to the wall for support and almost jump back when you feel it. The walls aren't just uneven- they're a sort of comb, arranged in hexagonal shapes. You wonder if you've been transported to a giant insect hive.
The gnashing, clicking sound above you certainly makes it sound like that. You swallow and back up toward the wall. Across the room from you stands a previously unnoticed flight of stairs, with a warm yellow light flooding from above. The clicking sound gets louder and a silhouette appears on the stair wall. It kind of looks likes a giant, insectile crab.
Oh god is that thing really coming for you.
You hesitate as it begins to descend the stairs. It comes into view- a bone white, hulking monstrosity- and you scream like a little girl. You're half awake, damn it, and you can scream if that's what you damn well want. The clicking is joined by a growling that intensifies into a very angry, blood-curdling scream.
YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT CUSTODIAN, the voice screams, STOP RUBBING YOUR GOD DAMNED ASS WIPE RAGE TAINT ALL OVER THE STAIRS AND LET ME FIGURE THIS OUT.
Whatever else is in the house with you is pissed off and kind of terrifying. A vaguely humanoid shadow appears on the stair's wall, approaching the crab monster from behind with kind of tiny scythes. A lot of grunting and growling is involved, but somehow the angry thing pacifies the crab thingy. By this point, you've stopped screaming.
The humanoid thing rounds the corner and slumps down the stairs, dragging its weapons behind it and sighing. It hit's the bottom, and you can't clearly see what it is. It's wearing a lot of black. It fumbles in the dark for a moment before flicking on a light.
The source is one of those weird bee larva things, planted on the smooth ceiling of this… place. The light blinds you for a moment, and you cry out and shove your hands over your glasses.
WHAT THE HELL, the very angry thing shouts. You think that shouting is its normal voice.
Once your eyes can see again, you look up to see something… really fucking weird. It looks human enough, but its eyes are too wide and kind of oddly coloured. Yellow where they white should be, the pupils are too big, and there's a slight ring of candy red around the pupil. The gaping mouth reveals fangs- dull fangs, but fangs nonetheless. It has grey skin and a mess of black hair over the face. Poking out of the hair are (what you think are) two horns, with rounded tips. They're kind of candy-corn coloured, but not really.
Who are you? you ask it, gaping.