A/N: Here it is! In all its re-written glory, my beautiful story! Thanks to everyone who read my old story and have forgiven me enough to come back and read this one! I LOVE Y'ALL! Merushi! (Thank you) LOL R&R or all get all depressed and shiz, oh, BTW this will be hard to explain but, in my story, because I want Victoria to be alive, but I also want Bella to know Jake is a werewolf, he told her in TW the legends and then like… I dunno, accidently saw him change or something, so she knew all about his wolfy-ness during NM.
THIS IS THE LAST RE-WRITE!!
"I don't want you to come with me Bella." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying.
"You… don't… want me?" I tried the words in my head a few times, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.
"No.
(-Cries- Edward, for somone with vampire smarticals, that was sure dumb)
So begins my hell, the release of demons far worse than vampires: Lost love, hope, and anguish. I wasn't Bella anymore. A seashell –and a plain seashell at that- emptied of its contents by some violent storm that ended as quickly as it began. This is how my story begins, and I'm afraid it doesn't get much better. I can't promise you a tale filled with roses, fluff, happiness, and true love, get a few comedy moments out of it if you can, I hope you can, there has to be laughter in the world somewhere, even if it doesn't come from me anymore.
Sam found me in the woods, and brought me back. I didn't care, it probably would've been better if he left me, I could have laid there forever, maybe it wouldn't hurt as much, maybe the earth would absorb all my pain, but he did find me and brought me back to Charlie's house. For the first couple of days, it seemed like a dream. The Cullen's left? Yeah right, Edward would never leave me! What a lie. I can look back now and admit I was in denial Then the pain set in with a clarity that burned like acid. I forced myself not to cry, not to think of them, actually, I tried to not think at all. I tried to lose all track of time.
I don't know how long I laid there, it could have been an hour, and it could have been six. All I know is that, suddenly, a towering boy, no man stood over me, said his name was Sam Uley and asked me if I was hurt. I couldn't make sense of what he was asking. I was hurt, but not in the way he meant it.
After a few days of my zombie state, Charlie tried to make me go to Jacksonville with Renee. I remember it clearly. I was lying on my bed, wondering idly if I was dreaming and if I would wake up in Edward's ice cold arms. When I was interrupted by two familiar voices
"I'm sorry that you had to fly here, I would have sent her, but I think she'll go quietly with you. I love having Bella live here, but- I honestly don't know what to do. She hasn't eaten, talked, slept, or moved in over a week." Who was that? Who was Renee? The only thing I could remember was long gone from here. With his family, enjoying his distractions, leaving me here to suffer.
"It's fine Charlie. I think she'll do better when she's back in Jacksonville in the sun. If things don't get better I'll…" there was a loud, sad sigh "I'll get her some professional help. Is she still in her room?" Charlie sighed "Yeah." The door creaked open and two people peeked in the door. One was a woman with strait, maroon colored hair, wide brown eyes and a round face. Extremely pale and rounded. I knew her, didn't I? It seemed so. The other was a tall muscled man with grave blue eyes and curly dark brown hair the same color as mine. He looked familiar too. The woman came and sat on the edge of my bed, tears forming in her eyes. "Bella?" she smoothed the hair off of my forehead "Oh Bella honey it's okay. Momma's here." Mom, wait… Renee? "Mommy?" I croaked. The tears in her eyes pooled over "Yes baby?" "What are you doing here?" I asked. Forgetting for a moment the pain I was in, and that I was eighteen years old and calling my mother 'mommy' Renee leaned down and kissed my forehead "We're going home sweetie. Don't worry, Charlie and I will pack your things, okay?" I sat up so fast I got light-headed. "I'm already home Mom." I said. Renee gently pushed me back down on the bed. "No Bella, home to Jacksonville." I sat up again, shoving past Renee, feeling the blood drain my face "No!" I shrieked. Charlie came up to me caustiously and put his hands on my shoulder. "Bella, you need to get out of Forks." He said soothingly, trying to guide me back to the bed. I wriggled free. "No! No I don't! I love Forks! I want to stay here!" Charlie put on his best Chief Swan face and pointed to the bed "Go lay down Bella. You're going and that's final." He turned and went back to packing.
Close to hyperventilating I did the only thing I could thing of, I ripped the suitcase off the rocking chair and threw it at the wall. "Isabella Marie Swan!" Renee gasped as Charlie turned a unique shade of plum "I'm! Not! Going! I want to stay here with- with Charlie and Angela and- and- Jessica and Mike and all my friends! I don't want to go to Jacksonville and switch schools and have to make new friends and have all new teachers!" These were all excuses of course, and Charlie and Renee new it. But I was moving and talking, and I started eating again, so Charlie let me stay, though I could always see him looking at me from the corner of his eye, watching me, like he expected me to go back to my cationic state.
I remember going hiking one day. I was trying to find our meadow. I remember seeing Laurent there, he told me that Victoria was looking for me, and that she wanted to make my death slow. I distantly remember wondering why I wasn't scared, and realizing that I didn't care if I died. Maybe the pain would stop. It would be a welcome change from this. Laurent suddenly wrinkled his nose, sniffed the air, cursed and took off, leaving me alone, until that is, a few hours later Jacob came crashing through the trees, nearly squishing me to death, asking me if I was all right. I told him I was, and I was only lying a little. I was fine, in the sense that Laurent hadn't bit me. I didn't tell him about what Laurent had said about Victoria. I didn't know why at the time. Looking back, I realized some part of me knew Victoria was going to find me, and that I wanted it. Well, I got my wish.
I try not to remember much how I changed, it's very painful, but every memory of that day is imprinted in my mind forever, and no matter how long I live, I will always remember the tiniest detail. I remember driving home from the meadow and recalling some trivial thing about them I pulled over to the side of the road to hold myself together, my passenger side door was ripped off its hinges, I looked over and saw Victoria standing there, with the blonde newborn whose -though I didn't know it at the time- name was Riley. I remember recalling what Laurent said about a slow death.
My brain was on overload, and I recall grabbing the first sharp thing I saw, a pen laying on the dash, and stabbing my wrist. I remember Riley throwing himself at me and biting my wrist, breaking it in the process, and drinking most of my blood. Victoria pulling him off, screaming at him about something, they started to fight, and I pulled myself out of the truck, they were too distracted to notice, and managing a few shaky steps into a field of long grass next to the highway. I heard a high kneeing sound that was cut off abruptly, then Victoria was standing over me, holding her breath "Where's your mate?" She said in a falsely sweet voice, kicking me in the side, breaking quite a few ribs in the process. I gasped as more than the pain from the venom spread through me. "H-He left me." I answered honestly. "It's a-actually a relief to die." I don't know why I added that, those five words ruined my life. Victoria paused for a moment, then smiled a small, deadly smile "Oh, well we can't have that can we? We don't want to make your mate sad." She stuck out her bottom lip and nodded somberly, it was sickening. "No, Bella I think I'll make sure that you'll always be around to remember Edward. You should thank me, I'm making you immortal." She laughed a tinkling laugh. "Goodbye Bella, tell Edward I'll find him soon enough." "No!" I whispered before the screaming started.
That's where Jake and the pack found me, laying in the meadow, writhing in pain with vampire venom to deep in my system for anyone to get out, not that Jake didn't try. I'll always remember what the pack said while I laid there screaming;
"Sam!" Jacob's voice was frantic. "What should I do? What should I do?!"
"Jake, we're going to have to kill her." Sam's voice was full of regret. Yes! Yes! YES! My mind screamed anything to make the pain STOP! But Jake had other plans "No!" he roared angrily.
Paul growled gutturally "So what do you want us to do Jake? She's going to be a bloodsucker, a new powerful bloodsucker! She'll be a danger to everyone in La Push and Forks! I screamed as the new wave of pain washed over me, my back arching. "HELP ME JAKE!" I shrieked as they all winced. He smoothed my hair out of my eyes; I had a sudden since of déjà vu. This is what Renee had done that day that already seemed a lifetime ago. "It's okay honey." He crooned. "Make it stop!" I shrieked at the top of my lungs. Jake started swearing "Shit!" he yelled. "Wait… Bella! Didn't you tell me that Edward sucked the venom out of your bloodstream when you got bit by James?" I managed to nod, and screamed at the small movement "Oh God!" I yelled "Just kill me! Kill me!" Jake grabbed my face between his large russet hands "Bella! Snap out of it! I'm not going to kill you! I'm going to get the blood out of your system now, okay?" I whimpered and writhed in pure agony.
He tried, and it didn't work. It made it worse actually, much worse. The vampire venom and werewolf saliva mixed, and the burning was worse. He must have sucked out some of the venom, because to this day, I'm still part human. I still need blood, I'm much stronger than your average human I'm still unusually beautiful and pale, though if you lined me up next to another vampire, I'm not nearly as beautiful, my eyes are gold when I'm satisfied and black when I'm hungry, and I don't age, but I don't sparkle in the sun, and you can kill me just as easily as a human, I can blush, cry, sleep, I'm still clumsy, I still attract trouble like a magnet, my skin isn't as cold as a normal vampire, and the smell of human blood makes me sick, even animal blood is pretty gross. I can eat human food, but it's not necessary, and it doesn't taste nearly as good as it use to.
"First things first," Sam said after it was apparent that it failed "We'd better move her, Paul, Embry, Quil! I want to rip the hell out of Bella's truck. We're going to have to stage her death, make it look like she ran into a tree, but screw that thing up so bad that even if she was in that car, no one could get her out, got me? I'll go after the red-head, Jake and Jared can move Bella into the woods."
"No." Jake said in a voice husky with some unknown emotion I assumed was anger. "I'll get the red-head. That bitch is going to die." Sam nodded and it was just about that time I blacked out.
I woke up, with the feeling of a large, quivering hand over my mouth, which automatically started screaming. I hope I hadn't been screaming in my sleep. I opened my eyes, Jared stared down at me, mouth a grim line. I pleaded with him again to kill me, and pretty soon he started to ignore me. I started to think that as soon as I was a full vampire they were going to kill me. I started screaming louder.
After an immensurable period of agony, Sam came. He told Jared softly "I'll take care of it, go get some sleep, we're going to have work to do tomorrow." Yes, killing a newborn is going to be hard work. Sam stared at me as he covered my mouth. I kept asking him to kill me. He did nothing but stare. I started to sob "Oh God please!" I begged "What did I do to deserve this life?!" Sam blinked at me in surprise and it seemed that I had no control over my mouth anymore "I was just a normal girl! All I did was move to Forks so my mom could be happy! Why did I have to fall in love with a vampire?!" I shrieked, tears flowing faster down my face "Why did he have to leave me!?" All my anger and hurt was flowing out, but I felt no relief. "And now I can't even kill myself to make the pain go away! Why did I promise him anything!?" I wailed as Sam stared at me in pity and confusion. "And now my best friend hates me, and he's going to kill me!" Sam looked like he was about to say something, but I blacked out for what I thought was the last time.
I dreamed that night. I dreamed I was in a mirror maze, someone fallowed me close behind, but I couldn't figure out who it was, because though I demanded my feet to turn around and look, I had no control. I looked in the mirror. I was Esme, and the person behind me was Sam, I was Rosalie, and the person behind me was now Charlie, pointing a gun at my back, I was Emmett and the person behind me was Angela, screaming in terror, I was Jared and the person behind me was Jessica, giggling and waving, I was Alice, and the person behind me was Jasper, smiling lovingly I was Carlisle, and the person behind me was Paul, snarling angrily, I was Jacob, and the person behind me was Edward, looking at me in horror and disdain. Finnally I saw the end of the maze. I ran towards it, not bothering to look in the mirror anymore. At the end was a room, with a plain mirror. Finnally! I shrieked in my mind, but it was not my family, homely image that greeted me, red hair, pale face, bright crimson eyes is all I could see, if I believed in it, I would have sworn it was Bloody Mary, but I wasn't, I was Victoria, and as I slowly turned, the person behind me was Riley, positively beaming, covered in blood I knew to well was mine. "Bella aren't you happy? This is everything you've ever wanted! You would have begged for this last August! Bella, you're a vampire!" He started laughing then, and I screamed.
I sat strait up, finding myself in a meadow –three guesses which one, yeah, irony hate me-, with the fire in my veins gone. I glanced around and saw I giant black wolf, whose haunches were raised and lips were pulled back over his teeth. He didn't move for a long time, and then in the distance I heard growls and yips. The pack was coming to kill me! I jumped up and Sam did the same. Growling in a way that clearly said Sit down before someone gets hurt.