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*Boop*
"Hullo, this is Ringo Starr, sorry I can't come to the phone right now, man-"
"Your "Ringo" impersonation sucks, Remus."
"Like your "John" is any better, James - sorry, as I was SAYING-"
"Say, Remus, why are you doing a "Ringo" and not a "George?" I thought George was your favorite."
"He is, but the "Ringo" voice is so much more fun to - wait a moment, why am I even arguing this with you? Go home! You have a wife and child to look after-"
"I'm frankly shocked - shocked - that you used the word "wife and child" in the same sentence. Mr. "Wah wah boo hoo, my boggart is commitment-"
"And that's any better that "wah wah boo hoo my boggart is my ninety-pound friend kicking my ass?" And you know why that's off the table, James, I must have told you a million times-"
"The times they are a changin', buddy."
"What - er - I just haven't - Bob Dylan - THAT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"
"Bob Dylan has everything to do with everything."
"OUT!"
"Sniff. I tawt u wuved me, Wemus..."
"Sigh. I wuv u, James. Sorry I yelled."
"And huwt my fweewings?"
"I'm sorry I…"
"Ahem."
"Ugh. Yes, I'm sowy I huwt yowr fweewings, Jamie-Wamie."
"I will. Take care, buddy."
"I'll really have to delete this message… Anyway, it's Remus John Lupin, call me at the beep."
"BEEP!"
"JAMES I SWEAR-"
*Beep."
"Remus, it's your father, I heard about everything that happened, please call me back, don't do this to yourself, you know how you get when you drink, Lily and James wouldn't-"
*Click.*