Disclaimer-Characters belong to Steve Franks. No copyright infringement intended. Any similarity to events or persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
Author's Notes-So, the muse is apparently out to get me this week after a long absence. Hm.
Awkward-Carlton has Juliet's back, no matter what. Missing Scene, "In for a Penny..."
She could barely see straight. How could he? How could they? The feelings tumbled through her slight frame, cycling from anger to pain, from bitterness to utter despair. Every time Juliet thought she had adequately named the emotion that bubbled to the surface, a new one took its place, coursing within her at a breakneck speed, churning deep within her.
She just couldn't understand why, of all people, Shawn would want to do something that she had specifically told him not to do. The very last thing she wanted to see, in the middle of her day, of her busy, hectic, and otherwise stressful day, was her father suddenly standing there, out of the blue. A random, hurtful occurrence.
As much as that hurt, she realized she couldn't tell for sure if Shawn's actions hurt worse, on par, or slightly less than Frank's appearance. Shawn had ignored her, just as Frank had done for decades. That realization threatened to knock her to the ground, but she moved. She had to.
Her heels echoed in the stairwell as she descended a level in the police station, searching for a quiet space to collect her thoughts, to put herself back in some semblance of order. Five minutes to herself and she'd feel better. She ducked into the darkened alcove under the stairs, forcing herself to take deep breaths, counting the seconds until her pounding heart slowed.
Buzz paused in his trek from the file room to the squad room, his arms laden with old case files for the detectives to pour through. He wasn't used to seeing detectives in shambles, hiding in the corner. "Um," he began slowly, "Detective O'Hara...?"
"Move along, Buzz, please?" The words came out in a rush, faster than she had intended, sounding pinched, maybe even desperate.
He nodded. "Yes, ma'am." He quickly headed up to the main level of the police station, depositing the file box on the head detective's desk. "Detective Lassiter..."
Carlton didn't bother to look up as he spat out a harried: "What?"
"Is Detective O'Hara okay?"
The simple question made the senior officer look up, first at Buzz, then at his partner's empty desk and back again. "Where is she?"
Buzz pointed toward the stairs.
Carlton got to his feet quickly. His demeanor changed. While he was still focused as always, the topic had shifted. Work could wait for a minute or two. "Anyone tries to head for the stairs, stall 'em."
Buzz nodded, ever eager to help, but when he saw Carlton take two steps away, he panicked. "Uh, boss...? How?"
Carlton's blue eyes narrowed, laser-like.
The uniformed officer stood at attention, nervously clearing his throat. "Ten-four."
Running his fingers through his hair, Carlton used his detective's gifts to put it together, piecing together the clues from what little Juliet had said and from how Frank and Shawn had acted. She was hurt, that was clear. In all the years he had worked with her, he'd seen her grow into the finest damned cop he'd ever had the honor of serving with - strong, brave, and tenacious.
As he hit the lower level, he heard a ragged breath from behind him. Turning slowly, he saw her. She looked fragile but not broken, down but not out. He'd seen her like that before - when they'd arrested her big brother, Ewan. "O'Hara..."
She glanced up, another bout of conflicting feelings fighting their way through her. Of all the people Buzz could've found, at least it was Carlton and not Shawn or, worse, Frank. Her relief was tempered by the fact that she recognized the look in his eyes - Carlton wanted to talk. She wasn't sure she was ready for that. She did, however, manage to dip her head slightly in return.
He slid his hands into his pockets, his posture becoming less stern, more at ease. He looked at the floor between them as he slowly sidled closer to her. He didn't want to startle her, cause her more grief. "I know how bad it hurts," he said, his voice low, "when your father is never around. My father left when I was small, came back. He and Mom took another crack at being a family. I was blessed with my beautiful baby sister because of it, but then he was gone again. I blamed everyone. Mom, Lauren, myself... When he still didn't come back, I blamed everyone else. My teachers, the bag boys at the grocery store, the dawning of the Clinton era," he said, the last accentuated with an uncontrollable shiver. "But, the weird thing was, I was rarely mad at him. I was mad at everything, but never him."
Juliet looked up at her partner, seeing the distant stare in his eyes.
"Do you know why?"
She did know why, because she had felt the exact same way, with scary precision. "Because, he's still your dad. Because, no matter what he's done, you still love him."
Carlton's blue gaze shifted to her, softening as he offered her a tentative smile and a nod. "Probably one of the stupidest things, really," he acknowledged. "But, emotions are strange. They make you say things, do things, even overlook things you never thought you could."
Juliet actually smiled a little in return. Carlton, who had been so emotionally stunted since she'd met him, had grown in the years since their joined assignment. She had watched as his grinchy heart had grown three sizes plus two or three.
He shrugged. "You don't have to tell me what he did or didn't do, or how you feel or don't feel... but you don't have to go through this alone. I know you're mad at Spencer and he would be your confidante had he not been the partial cause of..." He looked at her, at her frazzled state. "This. But, I do care about you, O'Hara. Your safety, your happiness. Clearly, this is affecting you. If you need anything... I'm still here for you. I've got your back, no matter what."
Juliet closed the distance between them, hugging him impulsively. For a moment, she allowed herself the opportunity to remember that she did have people she could lean on, even if they weren't blood family or a boyfriend.
Carlton patted her back awkwardly.
As Juliet felt the hesitant touch from Carlton, her smile grew and she struggled to swallow a laugh. The more things changed, the more they stayed the same, but she was grateful for that, for her partner. "Thanks, Carlton," she said softly.
End.