A/N: Okay. So this can be any guy/girl pairing you want. Its not really fanfiction because this is what really happened with my boyfriend of 5 years and I. If you don't like it, let me know, because guess what? I don't like it either but this is happening in my life and I just let it out on paper. Stories are my vent. Don't worry. This is what I do now instead of what the female character resorts to. If it doesn't make sense... I'm sorry. Anyway, on to the story. R&R.
Warning: Suicide. (Surprise surprise. A suicide fic. Who woulda guessed it?)
Disclaimer: I uh.. don't own Naruto? Though no characters are mentioned and it could technically be any anime or movie or book or whatever that anyone wanted... so is this disclaimer necessary?
Façades
She puts on a façade. Even as she hears those words uttered, she cannot allow herself to have the reaction everyone is expecting. She had had her suspicions for a long while now but to hear it confirmed, to hear it confirmed by her own flesh and blood, that was truly cruel. Alas, she cannot have the reaction everyone expects, because she has been through this too many times before. She is a veteran of hurt and betrayal. She puts on a smile and shrugs. She turns away from her mother so that the woman will not see her daughter's eyes well with tears while she says, in an unwavering voice, "I already knew. I've known for a while. You just confirmed my suspicions."
She walks away from her mother as the older woman looks at her with sympathetic eyes and says, "I'm sorry honey, I didn't want to tell you, but I figured you had a right to know." She shrugs again and thinks of a way out of that sympathetic stare. 'I already knew he wasn't faithful. I've known it for years. Hearing you say it aloud doesn't change anything,' she thinks to herself, not trusting her voice to stay strong. She settles for leaving to wander around town and find her friends, who she thinks will understand.
She finds her first friend, a male, who is sympathetic at first before realizing the opportunity he now has. He tries to be her rebound, but the female is smarter than that. He is her friend, and a friend he must remain or he will be hurt when she comes back to her senses. She acts strong and shrugs everything off as if she had just broken a pencil tip rather than had her heart utterly crushed. As if she had missed her favorite television show, rather than realize she had wasted five years of her life on a man who was unfaithful. She does not flinch when her cheating lover is mentioned, she does not cry when she must confirm to her friend that it is over. She remains strong and does not let her real emotional state show through. This girl is dying inside but she refuses to drop this façade she puts in place, refuses to show weakness and most of all, refuses to show how much he really hurt her. She finally leaves her male friend and his raunchy antics to find a female she knows can sympathize but will not patronize her.
She finds her female friend in the diner across town. After she relays her story, her friend just gives a sad smile and utters half assurances that it will all work out for the best. They both know they are empty half promises. Both females talk about how bright the future could now be, but neither can see that future ahead of them. The females know there are dark days to come, but they do not speak of it. Our female companion never once drops her façade; she feels it slip once or twice but promptly fastens it back into place. The woman across from her is her best friend, yet, this one moment of weakness isn't something she is willing to share. She will eat her dinner and finish her evening with her friend. The façade will stay firmly in place while she heads home, but as soon as she is alone in her room, her parents fast asleep, she will wonder why she cannot cry over this.
She loved him. She truly loved him dearly. Yet, she cannot cry. She cannot get angry. She cannot feel any recognizable emotion whatsoever. Heaviness in her stomach and a twisting of her insides is the only semblance of emotion she will allow herself to feel. What is one supposed to feel after giving five years of one's life to someone, only to be betrayed and cheated on? Anger? Sadness? Rage? Grief? She has been through this too much to have this reaction anymore. She can't feel anything and it scares her. Has he really hurt her so badly this time that she feels nothing at all? She feels as if everything is in a haze. Nothing is real. This is all an illusion. Yet, she knows it isn't. She knows this is real. Why then, can't she feel anything? This boy was her everything, her entire life. Her very being revolved around this boy for five years, yet she feels nothing!
He took everything from her. Her innocence, her money, her love, her faith and now even her emotions. She gave him everything freely and he took it all for granted. He thought he could keep her in the dark by buying her shiny and expensive trinkets. He was wrong. When he didn't talk to her for weeks or months on end, she knew. She knew deep in her heart long before that. He hadn't been faithful since the first moment they began dating. He had been caught twice, but she overlooked it and wrote it off as immaturity and assured herself it would change over time.
People never change though. That was her first mistake. It would be the mistake that killed her. She felt no anger toward him. No regret about the time they spent together. No sadness or betrayal at his act of adultery. She felt nothing, and that still scared her more than anything. She turned to the one thing she could truly count on, her blade. She knew she should feel pain at his duplicity but she couldn't force her emotions to flood her. So she spilled the hurt she couldn't handle on to her blade and watched as the blood ran freely from her arm. She watched the scarlet torrents dance down the silver edge of her blade as she held it deep within her skin. She watched the ruby droplets fall almost weightlessly to the floor. After a while, she watched as each new drop of her life's blood made a ripple through the growing pool. She watched until her vision grew hazy and her breathing grew shallow. She sighed in relief as she felt the darkness beginning to gnaw at her and the pain from the wound she inflicted came to her suddenly heightened senses. As her eyes slid closed one final time, a single tear fell from them. Not for her own sake, but for his, because he will never know what he meant to her. He was always too busy looking somewhere else for what he had all along.
A/N: Okay so I know the grammar and stuff was reallllllly bad but what did you all think? I know I know. Not so fan fictiony but I haven't posted for awhile so I figured why not? What's the worst that can happen? I get flames? All the better to burn his stuff with. :) Reviews?