Hey guys! Merry Christmas! And if you're celebrating Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, then you know what...Happy Holidays! I hope that covers everybody! :) I love you guys, enjoy this little one shot I like to call "LAST CHRISTMAS"...

Twitter: TheCliffyG

A SPECIAL THANKS TO MY BETA READER-SomeoneNamedLiz

This one-shot is dedicated to all my readers, I hope you guys have an awesome break from school! :)

LAST CHRISTMAS

You are my soul mate, my sweetheart; you are my dream come true, from now until the end of time I give my heart and soul to you.

"Tomorrow is a new day," Elijah Goldsworthy whispers to himself, promising that no matter what happened today, no matter how horrible he felt, it didn't matter at all because tomorrow, he can at least try to start over again.

As he closes his heavy, baggy eyes, he attempts to rest, to turn off his racing mind, in hopes that this feeling will disappear.

I'm sure you've all felt this feeling before, because every human has.

It's a gut wrenching, stomach flipping, mind boggling feeling where you just feel…empty. You have a gaping hole in your heart that you wish it would just seal up, and then you can finally breathe again.

Sometimes, it's hard for him to breathe.

He'll stop in the middle of his job, sometimes when he's defending a client, and he'll have to excuse himself from the court. He knows he shouldn't, which is why he constantly fights it, but sometimes the feeling is so fresh, so raw, he can't ignore it.

It's like a stampede of elephants running slowly over his chest.

His heart pounds with agony in each beat when it's this time of the year, Christmas.

"Christmas," he'll scoff, chugging down a beer by himself, "It's a joke."

Christmas is supposed to be this jolly, happy time, where you exchange gifts with the ones you love and take pictures with your family. This way, you can look back years from that time and think, "what I would do to go back to when we took this photograph."

But no, Eli only sees Christmas as another bullshit holiday.

During his life, he had lost Julia, the one he thought he would definitely be seeing wearing a wedding gown, standing beside him in his future. But when she died, the feeling was a pain of a different color. When he was brave enough to try to move on, Eli had lost his favorite car he has ever laid hands on, his high school sweetheart, and even his ex-girlfriend, a year ago, on Christmas.

He scoffs just thinking about how he got down on two knees in front of the woman he loved on Christmas Eve, at midnight. His hands had been shaking all night with the anticipation and tension of asking the woman he loved to marry him, to spend the rest of his life with him.

The real reason for his shakes, he knew it was so wrong.

Even though Eli had learned to love her, considering he still wasn't over his high school sweetheart, he was ready to commit.

"Everyone has to move on, kiddo" Bullfrog told him before Christmas Eve, "And I think it's time to move on from high school, from the past. You're a twenty-eight year old lawyer with a beautiful girlfriend, Eli. You have to let Clare go, mentally and physically. She isn't even around, but she's draining you of your life. Don't let her do that to you when she's not even in your life! Marry Imogen, she loves you and you love her. I know you do."

But he never loved Imogen like he loves Clare.

Eli tosses and turns in his restless sleep, knowing that just like every other night, he won't be able to.

So, he does what he does every night and goes to the bar to drink away his problems, to drink away the gaping hole in his chest. It's like he doesn't have a reason to live anymore, that he's just a useless drunk, drinking away his life.

He slips on his leather jacket, and a tear almost escapes his eyes, still being able to smell the scent of Imogen on it.

Although Imogen wasn't a love like Clare, she was still a love of his, a woman that Eli had fell head over heels for only because he knew he would never get Clare back. He chose to move on, or to try with her.

As Eli shoves his hands into his pockets from the cold weather, he passes houses and sees the Christmas trees lit up inside houses. He shakes his head, seeing a couple walking by him, holding hands and giggling.

Pang!

There it is again, the feeling strikes.

He breathes out in relief, realizing he made it in one piece to the bar.

As he takes a seat alone, the bar tender shakes his head, but forces a smile to ask him if he wants his regular. Eli nods, knowing that soon enough, he'll spend the money he works his ass off for on booze, to cleanse the heartache...

"Why'd you go to see the movie alone? I would've gone with you!" Jake screams at Clare, as she jolts back, knowing that he would never yell at her, and he would've seen Twilight with her without even hesitating.

"You told me that the movie is stupid and that you didn't want to go, so I went alone! Just because you don't want to go doesn't mean I'm going to stop my whole world so I can stay home with you on Christmas Eve and do what? Watch you play video games with your friends," Clare growled, pointing out the obvious, as Jake sighed, "Clare, I don't have time for this right now."

"For this? You mean for me?" Clare asked, tears forming in her eyes as her chest tightened uncomfortably.

Jake sighed, raking his fingers through his hair as his girlfriend continued to pounce on his every move, criticizing him for everything he's ever done wrong with her. Tears continued to stream down Clare's face as Jake showed no mercy, screaming back at her in front of his friends, "I've had enough of you, Clare! All you do is ridicule me and I can't take it anymore! It was cute when we were in high school, but now it's just plain stressful and annoying!"

"All I wanted to do was spend time with you on Christmas Eve!" Clare shouts at him, and as she inches to the door, he asks, "Where are you going?"

Clare grips the doorknob, opening the door, she feels the gust of wind hit her in the face and smiles through the tears flowing down her cheeks. She glances back at him, and as much as it pains her to say this, she feels it's the only way, "Doing what I should've done a long time ago, I'm leaving, and I'm not coming back."

"I'm sorry!" She hears Jake shout out as she shuts the door behind her, taking in a deep breath and finally being able to see the world around her.

At first, she thinks of turning around and going back into his house, to apologize for her outburst, but she knows she doesn't deserve his childish behavior, nor does she deserve his harsh attitude, especially not on Christmas Eve.

Clare gulps, as she looks down at her watch and sees that it's almost midnight.

Her parents are already in the Caribbean, enjoying their Christmas present from Clare that she had told her mom that Jake paid for. But, in reality, Jake hadn't paid a single dime, considering he lost his job and was barely able to pay off the electric bill for his house.

Clare shook her head, as she made her way towards the local bar, feeling the desperate thirst for alcohol when she thought about how much money she had put down on his house, helping him get by when she had an apartment of her own to support.

She sighed in relief, realizing she made it to the bar without breaking down and falling to the cold, desolate ground.

"One bud light please," she told the bartender as he smiled, going to fulfill her order as quickly as he could.

Clare grabbed the bottle as soon as he handed it to her, and she slammed a hundred dollars down on the counter. Her head flew back, as she chugged the beer down, not being able to stop herself.

She gasped for air when the bottle was empty and she slurred, "I need a hundred dollars worth of alcohol. Give me everything you got, mix shit together and give me the worst hangover I'll ever wake up with tomorrow."

Clare wanted the pain. She wanted to be able to feel something.

As the clock stroke twelve, she glanced around her, wanting to say "Merry Christmas" to anyone. But, as she glanced to her left, she saw an empty bar, and when she glanced to her right, looking at the man beside her, her eyes went wide and her heart stopped.

"E-Eli," Clare whimpered his name, blinking quickly for a few moments, trying to see if this was just her eyes tricking her, or if it really was Eli, the boy that made her stomach flip and heart race.

She gulped, her throat still feeling dry as she smiled, hearing his voice, "Merry Christmas, Clare."

Tears ran down her face from hearing someone tell her "Merry Christmas" for once, and she didn't have to initiate it. Every past Christmas she had to tell Jake, or even remind him Christmas was near, and he still never said it to her on the day.

"M-Merry Christmas, Eli," she whispered shakily as the bartender came back, placing all sorts of drinks in front of the two as they glanced at each other. Clare glanced at Eli before saying, "L-Let's just say that this isn't a Merry Christmas for me...so, if you would like to, I'd love it if you shared these drinks with me."

"Unless you have someone to go home to and hug or something," Clare slurred, her eyes saddening as the beer was getting to her. Eli smirked, taking two drinks off the tray and handing one of them to Clare.

"If anything," Eli whispered, looking up at her, "this is the place where I have someone to hug or something."

"To the best Christmas ever," Clare said, smiling, as Eli nodded, clanking her shot with his, "To the best Christmas ever."

Clare and Eli threw their heads back without shame, feeling the drink burn their throats. They slammed the shots down on the counter, hissing in pain and delight as Eli asked, "W-Where's Jake?"

Clare scoffed, picking up another drink and chugging it down as she said, "I'm done with him, completely done. He really did it to me tonight and I guess there comes a time where you just have to let go."

Eli nodded, knowing how he was forced to let go of Clare, his past that he had yearned to hold onto forever.

"I just want to tell you something, before we both get completely drunk and can't remember each other's names," Eli joked, as Clare grinned, realizing Eli was the same sarcastic, witty guy she has always loved.

"I want you to know that I never stopped loving you Clare, no matter how fucked up my life turned out after high school and how many things I was forced to do, I never stopped," he admitted, pouring his whole heart out to his high school sweetheart.

"I always knew there was a reason as to why I still dream about you, Eli," she whispered, taking in another drink as Eli smirked, needing another drink himself after hearing her words.

She still dreamt about him, she still cared...after all this time Eli had spent being depressed, and here he was, thinking he was the only one who felt alone. She felt the same way all along.

"Why did we waste so much time not being together?" Eli asked, the alcohol starting to get to him too as Clare shook her head, her chest heaving as the mixes of rum were coursing through her veins, "Because we're stupid! We're stupid human beings and you know what? It's okay because we're here right now, together, on Christmas, the worst fucking holiday ever!"

"Couldn't agree more," Eli whispered.

The night went on, and Clare and Eli reconnected, giggling over the most stupid things. Eli told her all about Imogen, spilling his feelings out on the table right in front of Clare, and for the first time, she wrapped her arms around him and comforted him. Clare told Eli all about Jake, all about their fights, his pathetic behavior, and when she cried. Even the drunk Eli couldn't help but wrap his arms around the broken woman before him.

After the bar tender kicked them out, the best part of Christmas came when Eli wrapped his arms around the woman he loved, as she snaked her arm around his slender waist. The heat they created defeated the cold, Canadian weather. No matter how rough, how horrible this time of the year was for the both of them, being in each other's arms was enough to seal up the bleeding cracks of their broken hearts.

As they stumbled around Toronto aimlessly, they took pictures with "Santa" who stood on every corner and they even stopped a couple of times to vomit. This was easy for the both to admit though, that this was by far, the best Christmas the two lost souls could ever ask for.

This was a rebirth for the both of them, a new beginning, a new friendship...and who knows, maybe even a relationship.

END OF LAST CHRISTMAS

Reviews? :)

Happy Holidays!

Love you guys,

Cliffhanger Girl

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