The Scarlet Sky: Finally! We've started co-writing our first fic!

Neco-Arc: It's about time, too, nya. :)

The Scarlet Sky: And thanks to 1angelette, who allowed us to give her a brief cameo!

Neco-Arc: It's more like an allusion, or something.

The Scarlet Sky: (shrugs) Eh, we tried.

Neco-Arc: Nya .

Disclaimer: Harvest Moon is amazing, but not ours in any way, shape, or form. Unfortunately.

Age of Muffins

Presents

Mary Sue Magic

Chapter One: Boring Old Claire

Claire sighed and plopped herself on her bed dejectedly. Moving to Mineral Town had been a horrible idea. No one wanted to flirt with a flat-chested girl in overalls—except Cliff, but he had Ann for that. Each day was spent shoveling cow manure, harvesting crops, and exchanging polite conversation with townsfolk.

It was so damn boring.

Why couldn't any of the guys at least pretend to be interested in her? Was it so much to ask? But no, everywhere she turned she saw a girl being romanced by one of the Mineral Town hotties. They already had their special someone; no one needed Claire. No one needed plain old Claire.

Why did she have to move away from the city, anyway? It was like a bazillion times larger than Mineral Town! There had to be thousands of single guys there! Why did she move? Why, oh why, oh why, oh why…

There was a knock at the door.

Claire groaned and jumped off the bed, running her fingers through her disheveled blonde hair hurriedly.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" she shouted as she ran over and opened the door. It was probably some festival or another that she had forgotten, and that stupid mayor was going to remind her to participate or something.

But it wasn't.

A strange woman with a cart smiled through yellowed teeth at the startled farm-girl.

"Um, hello?" Claire managed to say, freaked out by this weird stranger.

"Eh-heh-heh," the old lady cackled. "I bring many nice things. Nice things for the nice lady. You like? You buy?"

"Are you Won's mom or something?" Claire remarked dryly. "Cause I didn't buy anything from him, and I'm definitely not buying anything from you."

"Not mother," she shook her graying head. "Merchant. I bring secret treasures. I sell at good price. You buy?"

"What are you selling exactly?" Claire asked, looking over the cart curiously.

"Oh, many nice things," the woman shrugged. "OoC powder, bottle of Mary-Sue extract, and love potions…"

"Love potions?!" Claire gasped, reaching towards the heart-shaped bottle. To her surprise, the woman slapped her hand away.

"No touch! Love potions reserved for Angelette! Is good-paying customer! No touch! Not yours to buy!"

"But--"

"No touch! Love Potion #7 for Angelette! You want to call upon her wrath?"

Claire reluctantly pulled back her hands.

"So, what is the rest of this?" Claire inquired, glancing over the bottles. "Mary-Sue extract?"

"That," the merchant grinned, "is powerful little thing. Makes life glamorous. No more worries. Perfection in a bottle."

"Wow," Claire whistled, staring at the little green bottle. "That tiny bottle can do all that?"

The woman nodded.

"But be warned," the hag whispered, pulling Claire closer. "This will change everything. Big change. No be who you are now. Big, big change."

"Well, I need a big, big change," Claire laughed. "How much is it?"

"How much you got?" the woman asked as her eyes narrowed.

"Um…" Claire rummaged through her pockets. "Right now, I've got about 2543 G."

"That be enough," she nodded, taking all of Claire's money and depositing the green bottle in Claire's palm.

"H-hey! I can't afford to give you all of my money!" Claire protested.

"That bottle fix all," the old woman insisted. "No need money."

"You'd better be right," Claire muttered under her breath as the woman pushed her cart away. She walked inside, closing the door behind her. And sitting on her bed, she contemplated what to do.

"Well…what does the label say to do?" she wondered, turning over the bottle and squinting to read the tiny print.

"Mary-Sue extract. Swallow complete contents of bottle. Use with caution. Side-effects vary on the individual. Do not use if you are pregnant or might become pregnant. Works best with OoC powder. Females only; Males please use our product Gary-Sue extract."

Claire blinked in confusion. This was beyond weird. And yet…she was excited. Who knew what that bottle had in store for her and her hum-drum life? It was time for a change.

"Cheers," she smiled wryly as she uncorked the bottle and drank its contents in one gulp.

And after that, nothing was ever the same.