"So what do I do with this then, Alex?" Drag asked from where he was staring at the large, needle-leaved tree, its top pinched between his metallic silver forefinger and thumb.
"You put it down over here, so we can decorate it," Alex looked up from where he was sorting out a mess of tangled wires and indicated, with a wave, the far corner of the large unused aircraft hangar that was the Autobot's base in southern Nevada.
"Why anyone would want to decorate a tree is beyond me," Drag pulled a face, but he did as Alex instructed and carefully placed the tree down on to the ground.
"Because it's Christmas, Draggy man! Hey, you look at me. I look totally blingin' now I've been decorated," Jak called from the other side of the hangar.
With an exasperated sigh, Drag looked over to where Jak was standing, Traction and Reaper to one side, sniggering quietly into their hands. Drag rolled his eyes when he saw what Jak looked like, "Only you."
"I've been decorated," the Mustang grinned at him, turning on the spot to show off the large number of knotted lights that decorated his body, all flashing in a multitude of different colours, "And I look hot."
"Hot is one way to put it," Traction grinned at him before looking over to Drag, "Hey, we saved you some of this shiny stuff," he held up a piece of pink tinsel, dwarfed completely by the sheer size of the hand holding it.
"Oh no, you're not getting that anywhere near me," Drag shook his head adamantly, "Bits of it will fall off and get caught up in my sensitive joints."
"You can just wear it on your head, Draggy," Jak grinned at him, "Got nothing sensitive up there, right?"
Drag scowled, turning his back on him, his attention going back to Alex, "So what do we the tree? How do we decorate it?"
"We generally put lights on it, but Jak's got all the ones I brought at the moment. I'm sure Bill will bring some more when she arrives later," Alex shrugged, "But you can put baubles on it if you want?" he held up a small red, frosted glass ball, offering it to Drag.
The Autobot eyed it up and took it carefully, making sure that he didn't crush the fragile ornament, before moving back over to the tree. He then looked between the bauble and the tree, completely stumped as to how decorating actually worked.
"Uh, Drag, you might want to use that little metal loop on the top of it and slide it onto one of the tree's branches?" Alex suggested casually.
"Oh. Of course. I knew that," Drag quickly bent down and proceeded to attempt to put the bauble on the pine tree that was a little under half his height. After a little while of fumbling, Drag finally stepped back, revealing the tree and its singular decoration, "Hmm, looks ok," he concluded, "A little bland though."
"You put more on," Alex rolled his eyes.
"Really? That sounds like a boring task. Jak can do it," Drag folded his arms, indicating that he was done decorating and helping out, "I just don't get why there's a tree when this 'Christmas' celebrates the birth of your religious figure."
"Don't ask me," Alex shrugged, "I just get a tree, put things on it. It looks nice, that's why I have one. The end. Ask the Internet for an answer, I'm sure that'll tell you."
Drag gave a short nod before moving over to one side to mentally search the web for information.
This gave Jak a chance to stumble over to Alex, almost tripping over a tangle of lights caught around both his legs. It sure would have been interesting for Alex if the eighteen-foot Autobot had tripped and landed on him.
"Hey Al, what you get me for a present then?" Jak eventually just dropped to his knees, deciding it was safer to let the human come to him.
"That's the hundredth time you've asked today, and you still don't seem to get the point that it's a surprise," Alex held up a hand in front of his face as he squinted up at Jak, trying in vain to protect his eyes from the migraine inducing flashing lights.
"Oh, I get that, yeah. But it still doesn't hurt to ask, right?" Jak grinned at him, "And when do we get to see that little fat dude with the facial hair?"
"Santa? Jak, I told you he wasn't real," Alex rolled his eyes.
"Hey, Bill told us he was! There's stuff on the Internet that goes for both sides, but I agree with Bill. He's real," Jak shrugged.
"Flying ungulates, Jak. Really?" Drag looked over at him with a look of utter contempt.
"They're cool. You're just jealous you can't fly, Draggy. Ain't that right, Reaps?" Jak grinned at Reaper.
The largest of the four Autobots present in the hangar nodded and smiled, "Who wouldn't give their parts to be able to fly?"
"Me," Drag grunted, "I like to keep my feet on the ground."
"I don't know how you can call those things 'feet'" Traction commented with a flick of a hand in the direction of the wheels that Drag used in place of obvious feet.
"It's called being built for speed, Traction. I wouldn't expect you to understand," Drag replied scornfully.
"Hey, you guys, it's Christmas, cut out the bitching, please? It's like being in a room with a load of adolescent girls," Alex suggested from where he'd taken over decorating the Christmas tree, which was about the same height as him.
"I thought Christmas was for arguing, getting drunk and eating lots?" Jak frowned.
"Vaguely," Alex shrugged, "But it's all about being merry and all that stuff."
"Not celebrating Jesus' birth?" Drag looked at him expectantly.
"That comes into it somewhere," Alex waved a hand dismissively, "I prefer to say it's about families coming together. Just… My family doesn't. My father is too much of a grumpy git to care and my brother is often on vacation in the tropics with some new girlfriend he's picked up. I usually spend it with just Bill. But hey, got you guys in on the act now," he grinned.
"Family, yo," Jak held out a fist, allowing Alex to reach towards him with a similarly clenched hand, their knuckles knocking lightly together.
Alex smiled at him before turning his attention back to the tree, "Get Traction to help you get out of the lights Jak, and then string them up around this place."
"Aw, but I look so cool," Jak rocked back onto his heels before straightening up.
"You look like an idiot," Drag commented bluntly.
"You too, Drag, you too. And you don't even have lights on you," Jak grinned at him nonchalantly before wandering over to Traction. He cam to a halt and held his arms wide, "You know what to do."
"This'll be fun," he sighed, rolling his eyes, "Only you, Jak," he shook his head as he began to pluck at the lights, "Would get yourself into such a mess."
"It takes talent, y'see?" Jak grinned.
"A talent for getting into stupid situations, yes, I agree," Drag nodded, glancing down at Alex who was using a few loose pieces of tinsel, that hadn't been wrapped around Reaper's chopper blades, to brighten up the Christmas tree.
"Drag, when are you going to get 'decorated'?" Reaper moved over to him, looking down at the far small Autobot.
"Never," Drag grunted, not bothering to crane his neck to look up at him.
"Not even a little tinsel?" Reaper turned around to show off the lengths of tinsel that had become entangled with the helicopter blades, thanks to Jak thinking it would hilarious to see what would happen if he dropped the decorations from above on turning blades while the ex-Decepticon was in his alterative form.
"Not even little shiny bits of plastic," Drag huffed.
"Not even one that might make you look better?" Reaper tried again.
"Not even that," Drag shook his head.
"Suit yourself," Reaper shrugged, "If I can get in the fun, then I think that you should," he gave Drag a light shove from behind, but as usual, the larger Autobot's idea of a gentle push sent him stumbling forward a few steps, causing him to grumble in irritating.
"Oh Scrooge, since when did you become a Cybertronian…?" Jak sniggered from where he was still letting Traction try to untangle him, "When d'ya start with that stuff about the mints?"
"Bah humbug?" Alex offered absently, only half listening to the Autobots bickering.
"Yeah, that one," Jak nodded, "You gotta get that one going now, Draggy."
"Shut it, Jak," Drag sighed loudly.
"When do we get them little cracking things that you pull?" Jak looked over his shoulder at Alex questioningly.
"Hmm?" Alex looked up from the tree, obviously immersed in its decorating.
"Bang bang," Jak mimicked pulling something, then threw his hands up to indicate an explosion, accidentally hitting Traction in the face in the process.
"A cracker?" Alex raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, that's the thing. The things that go bang," Jak nodded.
"They're hardly that explosive," Traction commented, "Barely a weapon."
"Thankfully, since they're not grenades meant to kill the person next to you," Alex nodded, "You get them with food, later."
"We don't eat. I want them now so we can get Drag in one of the little hat things inside," Jak grinned.
"I'd like to see you try," Drag shot him a killer look.
"Us three against you? I think we more than out number you," Jak smirked.
"You're like a child, Jak. You know that?" Alex rolled his eyes, "Food later, crackers later, presents later."
"Aw man, c'mon Al. I'm impatient!" Jak whined.
"Well that's news to me," Drag commented sarcastically.
"Hey Drag, why don't you go find Santa and complain about getting a lump of carbon as a gift?" Jak shot back.
"Coal is not purely carbon, you idiot. I has hydrogen in it, for example," Drag scowled, "And I've not been 'bad'. There's a difference between -."
"Being bad and being a grumpy old man?" Jak cut in.
"Yes. Yes there is actually. I think Decepticons are more likely to receive coal than me. If Santa is even real, that is!" Drag added.
"Like children," Alex muttered, "Both of them."
"I entirely agree," Reaper smiled at him.
"Alright then kids," Traction took a step between Drag and Jak, "Since we've agreed you act like a pair of bratty protoforms, you two are going to have to separate and go to the human 'naughty corner'. Jak, you over there, and Drag you over there," he indicated the two corners at the furthest end of the hangar, "Time out."
"Tract, what?" Jak stared at him, "You're removing my lights! And I don't want to stare at a corner!"
"You have no right to tell me to go stand in a corner!" Drag looked up at him indignantly.
"Don't make me talk to Crossfire. Alex wanted this place looking festive by the time he and the other three got back from picking Bill up. So far it looks like an aircraft hangar with a lone, overly decorated pine tree and an Autobot who rolled in pile of string lightning," Traction pointed at the corners again, "Five Earth minutes. Or until you behave."
Alex snorted quietly, "Tract, you ever thought about having kids? You do the father thing pretty well."
"I suppose that's a compliment?" Traction smiled down at him.
"Take it as you want," Alex grinned back.
Traction just nodded and looked back to Jak and Drag, both of whom were still just standing there, staring at him, the Christmas lights hanging off the larger of the two just adding to looks they were giving him. When they still didn't move, Traction looked at them expectantly, "Well, off you go then?"
"You can't be serious…?" Jak frowned.
"Deadly. Go on Jak. Set an example to Drag. Your time limit may be revoked if you do," Traction suggested.
"Fine, fine," he grumbled, heading off over to his designated corner, dragging his feet as he went.
"Well?" Traction looked to Drag.
"Ok, I'm going," he grunted, mirroring Jak as he went over to the other corner.
"Well done," Reaper congratulated Traction once the two Autobots were separated and standing still at the far side of the hangar.
"Oh the power," Traction smiled at him briefly before looking back at Jak and Drag, "Terrestrial modes too. Makes it harder for you to amuse yourself by counting parts or anything similar," he told them.
There was a muttered curse from Drag, but he folded down into his Aston Martin form, rolling forward into the corner so that his nose was pressed against the wall.
Jak soon followed suit, but suddenly stopped midway through the transformation, parts all over the place, and gave a loud, "Ow!" before promptly beginning to repeat it over and over again.
"Jak?" Traction frowned.
"There's a freaking fairy light cheese wiring my aft! I'm stuck now!"
Traction and Reaper couldn't hide identical snorts of amusement. They allowed themselves a minute or so longer of admiring the half car, half Autobot Jak who was almost upside down, due to the front of the Mustang having almost been completely reformed, before Reaper finally went over to him and began to try and help Jak free from his predicament.
"I was waiting for that to happen," Traction commented as he watched Alex turn his attention away from the squirming Jak in order to place the small golden star on the top of the Christmas tree.
"Whenever Jak gets hold of anything of human design, he usually gets into some kind of trouble. I bet, if you gave him something simple, say a spoon, he'd end up with it in an eye," Alex muttered as he adjusted the star to perfection and took a few steps back.
"Oh, I agree," Traction nodded, "And that's very nice," he indicated the Christmas tree, "It… Uh… Brightens up the place."
"What you mean is that it looks completely stupid being the only brightly coloured thing in this expanse of grey, open hangar, right?" Alex grinned up at him.
"Sure," he shrugged, "I'm glad you were the one to say it, not me."
"Just wait for the other stuff to go up," Alex shrugged, "The hopefully it'll look way better. Bill will make it look hundreds of times better. A woman's touch and all that."
"She's almost here, and apparently she doesn't have all that much to decorate this place with," Traction looked thoughtful.
"Aw what? I told her to bring all she had," Alex frowned.
"Seems she did. But that isn't a lot. Freeway says that she's also wearing something unusual that shows a lot skin," Traction mirrored Alex's frown.
"What? Like… A bikini?" he asked hopefully.
"Waterproof underwear? No, I don't think so. He seems to think its some kind of costume. A disguise. Like us as cars," Traction looked thoughtful.
"Oh, cool. Hope it's kinky," he grinned, winking at Traction.
"Yo Al, what she getting you for Christmas, I wonder?" Jak sniggered loudly from where Reaper was being forced to cut through the wires still holding him in place.
"Jak, the corner means silence!" Traction shouted at him.
"Yes sir! But who put you in charge?"
"Myself, now be quiet," Traction rolled his eyes.
"How gay," Jak grumbled.
"Yes Jak, how happy and joyous this is," Drag grunted.
"I didn't mean it in that way, dictionary face," Jak shot at him.
"Where the hell did that one come from?" Alex stared at Jak.
"Oh, you know. Christmas spirit?" Jak shrugged as best as he could without toppling into Reaper.
"I think you've got the wrong idea there then," Alex ran a hand through his hair.
"And I think you don't understand what be quiet means," Traction gave Jak and unimpressed look.
"Ok, ok," Jak grunted quietly, resigning to silence as Reaper continued to struggle as he pulled the lights free from where they'd become tangled around Jak's various moving parts.
"Alex," Traction looked down to him again, "Go out the front to meet Bill. They're just arriving. And admittedly, Crossfire was expecting to come back to a nicely decorated base, rather than a badly decorated and rather twisted Hijack."
"Twisted in the sense that's he's got a twisted mind or that he's just physically twisted at this precise moment of time?" Alex asked casually as he began to move towards the hangar's two large open doors.
"A little of both, I think," Traction smiled at him.
"Totally," Alex nodded, grinning back at him before turning away completely and striding out the hangar.