-7:58 AM, Saturday-
Usually, kids slept in on Saturdays after waking up at 6:00 AM five times a week. For Penn Zero however, he had to wake up around this time to get ready for his job. Now for kids his age, that would be something like working the register at fast-food joint or be a stock boy at some store. Penn, he had a different kind of job; he was a part-time hero. His alarm struck 8:00 AM and music began to play over it as Penn began to stir from his sleep.
I'm alright
Nobody worry 'bout me
Why you got to gimme a fight
Can't you just let it be
I'm alright
Don't nobody worry 'bout me
You got to gimme a fight
Why don't you just let me be
Penn got out of bed and went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth. He looked in the mirror and ran his fingers through his curly red hair before going back to his room and got dressed for the day.
Do what you like
Doing it nat'rally
But if it's too easy
They're gonna disagree
It's your life
And isn't it a mystery
If it's nobody's bus'ness
It's everybody's game
After putting on his signature shirt, brown pants, and blue sneakers, he ran down the stairs and into the kitchen where his Uncle Chuck and Aunt Rose were sitting at the table eating breakfast. He didn't stop to chat, he merely grabbed a slice of toast and gave them a morning hug before rushing out the back door and towards the Odyssey.
Gotta catch you later
No, no, cannonball it right away
Some Cinderella kid
Get it up and get you a job
(Dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip)
Meanwhile, at an apartment building not too far from Penn's house, a young girl about Penn's age was getting up and ready for the day as well. She had brown hair that she wore in two ponytails and a purple dress and blue glasses with mismatching socks. Her name was Sashi Kobayashi, Penn's part-time sidekick and one of his best friends.
I'm alright
Nobody worry 'bout me
Why you got to gimme a fight
Can't you just let it be
I'm alright
Don't nobody worry 'bout me
You got to gimme a fight
Why don't you just let me be
Who do you want
Who you be today
And who is it really
Makin' up your mind
She ran out of her room and gave a quick good morning hug to her mom and dad and ruffled her little brother's hair before grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl and running out the door.
You wanna listen to the man
Pay attention to the magistrate
And while I got you in the mood
Listen to your
When she saw the hallway was clear, she ran to a nearby window, opened it, and jumped to a nearby tree branch before swinging around it and hopped down to the ground and landing perfectly before running off to her job at the Odyssey as well.
Own heart beatin'
Own heart beatin'
Own heart beatin'
Own heart beatin'
Don't it get you movin'
Mmmmm-man
It make me feel good
(Wow, Cinderella kid)
Then give it up and give it the job
(Dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip)
(Boom, boom, boom, boom)
At the very same time, a portly boy the same age as Penn and Sashi was getting dressed and heading out the door after saying good morning to his family. He wore a backwards baseball cap, brown cargo shorts, a green and brown striped tank top, and flip-flops. The boy's name was Boone Wiseman, Penn's best friend and part-time... well, wise man.
I'm alright
Nobody worry 'bout me
Why you got to gimme a fight
Can't you just let it be
I'm alright
Don't nobody worry 'bout me
You got to gimme a fight
Why don't you just let me be
The three were running down three separate sidewalks before they met at an intersection and began to race each other to the Odyssey.
I'm alright
Nobody worry 'bout me
Why you got to gimme a fight
Can't you just let it be
I'm alright
I'm alright
Just let me be
They were all neck-and-neck when Penn pulled ahead at the last minute. He was about to get inside when he suddenly hit the door to the theater and falling to the ground. Confused by this and picking himself up off the ground, Penn tried to open the theater door again and found it completely locked.
"The heck?" Penn asked out loud. As if to answer his question, they found their boss Phylis sitting on the sidewalk along with Phil, the boss of Larry and Rippen, the part-time villains, who had just arrived to the exact same result.
"Phylis, what's going on? Why are the doors locked?" Penn asked.
"Blew fuse again. Power out in both places. No missions today." She said.
"Seriously, again?" Boone asked.
"Well now what?" Rippen asked no one in particular.
"Oh, oh, we can go to my house again!" Larry said excitedly.
"No!" Everyone collectively yelled. After the last time they spent at Larry's house, they'd rather not go through a similar debacle.
"Well, guess we'll just find something else to do; come on guys." Penn said, leading his two friends away from the theater and leaving the part-time villains, who left in the opposite direction.
After an hour of wandering around Middleburg looking for something to do after a few failed attempts that included Boone suggesting they go to an arcade which resulted in Sashi breaking the punching bag game and being kicked out by the owner and Sashi suggesting they try the gym but her friends were to lazy for anything strenuous that didn't involve being zapped into another dimension.
When the trio finally ran out of options, an idea came to Penn like a bolt of lightning.
"Hey guys, I think I have an idea." He told his partners.
His idea for an activity surprised his friends quite a bit. 'What was his idea?' you ask? Golf.
After the three teenagers changed into more appropriate clothing for the sport, they made their way to the Middleburg Country Club.
"I have to tell you P.Z., I'm a little surprised you chose golf of all things." Sashi told her friend.
"Yeah, well, it's a bit of a hobby actually," He told his violent friend, "My dad took me here a few times when I was younger and before he and mom were trapped in The Most Dangerous World Imaginable."
"Were you any good?" She asked.
"You'll just have to see for yourself." He said with a small smirk.
The trio soon came to a chain-link fence that surrounded the club's golf field. After sneaking up to the gate, Penn halted them with a raised hand.
"Okay, now to contact my man on the inside. HEY, CRAZY LOUIS!" He yelled. Almost immediately, a rather disheveled-looking man with a bony figure and lazy eyes and wearing jeans, a tank top, and a sun hat came to the gate.
"Oh hey Penn, how's things going." He said nonchalantly as he let the trio in. As they walked through the gate and past the odd groundskeeper, Sashi grabbed Penn's arm and leaned into his ear.
"Hey, P.Z., can we trust this guy?" She asked.
"Who? Crazy Louis? Oh, he's fine, he's just a little..." He trailed off as the two looked back at him to see him doing a little jig while whistling to himself a nonsense tune.
"Crazy?" Sashi asked.
"I was gonna say 'stark raving gazonkers', but that works too." He said before they continued into the grounds.
-Hole 1-
"Now, watch and learn. Ball bounces off the tree, careens off the passing eagle and into the hole." Penn said confidently.
"You are such a show-off." Sashi commented.
"I am not showing off," Penn said before putting on a blindfold, "Now I'm showing off. 1, 2, 3, golf shot!" He exclaimed, striking the ball which bounced of a nearby tree and flew into the air which hit a bird in the chest, causing it to squawk, before finally landing perfectly in the hole. Boone and Sashi applauded Penn's amazing trick shot as he took off his blindfold and did an exaggerated bow.
"Hey, Penn, can you teach me how to play like that?" Boone asked eagerly.
"Sure, why not?" Penn said as he gave Boone a club and set up another ball.
"Okay, now first: Empty your mind." Penn instructed.
"Done." Boone said immediately.
"Wow, that was easy." Penn commented before grabbing Boone and getting on their hands and knees and getting eye-level with the ball "Second, get to know your target. Be the ball. Feel the ball." He was saying until he saw Boone opening his mouth, "No, don't eat the ball." He deadpanned.
"Sorry." The part-time wise man apologized as they both got back to their feet.
"Alright." Penn started, "Now, shoulders back," He said and Boone did so, "butt clenched," Boone did that as well, "and just listen to that little voice in your head that tells you to SWING!" He yelled, surprising Boone and causing him to swing the club and send it flying out of his hands. The club flew nearly twenty feet until it struck Crazy Louis, who was watering the grass, in the back, causing him to fall to the ground in pain.
"Oh my gosh, Crazy Louis!" Penn yelled as he, Boone, and Sashi ran to his aid.
"Ow, my appendix. How will I be able to process enzymes and convert them into simple sugars?" He asked in pain.
"Wait, how do you know it's you appendix?" Penn asked.
"Well if you look at this x-ray," He said, taking out an x-ray from seemingly nowhere, "my appendix, that's this right here, was on it's last legs so to speak. The doc said I'd be fine as long as no one hit it with a golf club."
"That is an oddly specific diagnosis." Penn commented as Crazy Louis groaned in pain.
"Don't worry about me though, guys, I've lived a good life." He said weakly.
"Well he's a goner, shall we get back to the game?" Sashi said, not really caring and walking off when Penn grabbed her by the arm.
"Sashi, we just can't leave him here to die. We have to help him somehow. But how?" He asked as he began to think.
"We could just enter that golf tournament over there." Boone said offhandedly, pointing to a banner off in the distance.
"Middleburg Annual Golf Tournament. First Prize: One Appendix." Penn read, "Well that's convenient. Weird, but convenient. Sashi, stay with Crazy Louis while Boone and I enter the tournament to win that appendix. Don't worry, Louis, I shall return!" Penn said before he and Boone ran off.
This is a two-shot story. Hope you guys enjoyed the first half, I'll post the second half sometime soon. And if you guys are wondering, the song played at the beginning was "I'm Alright" by Kenny Loggins.