A/N: Crick118 challenged me to make an angsty Death Note fic, so here it is. (Sorry I didn't add in any humor, Crick!)
--
"The human who uses this note can go to neither Heaven nor Hell." –from the "How to Use"
Light had always been beautiful. He was physically attractive and incredibly intelligent, and he had this air about him that convinced others of his superiority. He was kind to his mother, helped his sister, and followed in his father's footsteps by joining the NPA and assisting in the search for Kira.
But most of this was a sham. His air of superiority had always been cruel, allowing him to pass over the unworthy masses that he felt nothing but scorn for. His kindness to his mother was merely to project the image of him as a perfect son, and he only helped his sister grudgingly, with the same goal in mind.
Even his devotion to the police force was a sham. He made himself seem like he was trying to catch Kira only in order to disguise the fact that he was Kira.
For a while, Light thought that his "sacrifice," as he put it, was noble; he thought that he was staining his hands with blood for the sake of the world. Sadly, he was mistaken; eventually all he wanted was to usurp God's position by ruling over an Eden that he created.
It took an eternity for him to realize his faults. And when he did, he blamed the person who had caused him to see these faults: L.
During the time when L and Light were chained together, Light had to allow someone to get close to him, which he had never done before. Although the emotional bond was shallow for quite some time, it was the only one he had ever created. So when L found out that he was Kira, the disgust and anger on the older man's face drove him over the edge. He slit L's throat with a pocketknife.
Strangely, L didn't resist. He simply lay there and allowed it to happen, as though the pain and sense of betrayal was too much for him to bear.
Light spent nearly a week after that wondering why his chest ached, why he felt guilty. Even killing criminals left him unhappy. In fact, it only added to his misery. With every additional name he added into the Death Note, he would remember L's hurt and disgusted glare when he found out who Kira was. He would wonder about the disgust that was etched onto his lover's face.
Light had always been beautiful. Now the only person who was important to him thought he was disgusting.
He wrote the following in the Death Note:
Yagami Light. Commits suicide by stabbing himself through the heart. If there is an afterlife, he meets the only person he cared about.
He died from a heart attack. His sins with the Death Note prevented him from joining his lover in Heaven, instead leaving him in limbo.
--
A/N: Please review.