Loving Yumi
Jaych
(Does not own Maria-sama ga miteru)
It's always difficult to watch the one you love hurt.
Sachiko bit her lip in irritation, erasing a misplaced word for the fourth time on that particular assignment. The word was Yumi and Rosa Chinesis stood with little chance to accomplish anything until her mind was at rest. She was deeply troubled by the relationship between her little sister and Touko. It was obvious to her Yumi wanted no more than Touko's trust and love, all of which Yumi had already freely given. Touko however was stubborn and rash, refusing to see Yumi for who she really was.
Sachiko found it particularly difficult to watch Yumi hurt over the selfishness of her younger cousin. She had worked hard for over the past year to protect Yumi and learn from her. They had grown even closer lately and Sachiko was constantly at war with the voice in her head that whispered things about Yumi. She was adorable, beautiful, and sometimes the mere sight of Yumi brought feelings to Sachiko that would make her tremble. Yumi meant so much to Sachiko, yet sometimes all she could think about was the heat of their bodies pressed together when they embraced, or the way the younger girl smelled in the morning when she had just gotten ready.
Sachiko stood and slammed her notebook shut. She needed a drink of water and some air to clearly think about the situation at hand. Her Yumi needed Touko and the fact that Sachiko could do nothing but watch frustrated her most of all. Her cousin was being given a gift far larger than she understood. Sachiko was not one to be jealous, it was petty. Yumi was not petty however, and though she tried hard to think rationally about Yumi's struggle to reach Touko, she returned over and over again to her jealousy. Sachiko would never again indulge herself, but this one evening while the moonlight reflected off the clear glass, she let herself dwell on the details.
The air was not too cool on Sachiko's skin as her walk led her to the patio. It was beautiful with no sounds in the air but water and birds. As the days slipped into months and graduation loomed near Sachiko had prepared herself to go to Lillian Academy. She would remain near Yumi but with her preparations she saw slip away her time with the younger girl. How many more days would she wake up to the face she loved? How much would it hurt when she could not?
The dark voice intruded again on Sachiko's thoughts. This is why Yumi needs Touko. Yumi needs someone that can be there for her. She deserves to be loved. Sachiko could give her that kind of love if only she would. Sachiko told herself that she would give that love but in this world she could not. Yumi needed a seour, but every time Sachiko felt the younger girl in her arms she thought the weakness inside her would win and she would beg Yumi to see her alone so that she might confess the true extent of her feelings. Sachiko's feelings though, were pushed to the side everyday to be the proper Rosa Chinesis and tomorrow would be no exception.
Retreating inside to leave her glass and resume work, Sachiko thought with no doubt in her mind that Touko would falter to Yumi. Who wouldn't? Sachiko was on her knees if only Yumi would look down. Look at her before she had to say good bye to the beautiful dream she had lived in.
Sachiko quietly shut the door to her room behind her, a contrast to the noise of her leaving. She calmly reopened her notebook and pulled together her answer as she prepared to write it in English. The words staring her in the face gave little comfort, but echoed the loneliness that had crept on her lately. "If you love someone, let them go."