Dear Kurt…
I don't know why I'm writing this considering I am never going to give it to you but I feel like I need to get some feelings out.
I'm stupid. I really am. I had so many different opportunities to tell you how I truly felt about you but I just went ahead and let each one slip through my fingers. That, along with many other things, is something I really regret. I should have told you when I had the chance. I should have taken a bit of my own advice and had some courage but now it's far too late.
I hate seeing you with him. I hate the fact that he's the one who kisses you everyday and not me. I hate practically smelling him on you whenever we hang out. I hate just being 'best friends' with you and nothing more. I hate whenever you mention his name when we're together. I just hate that it's him you're happy with and not me.
It kills, you know… this jealousy. It quite literally hurts. I sometimes feel like it's eating me alive. Am I not good enough for you, Kurt? What exactly does he have that I don't? I bet I could treat you one-hundred times better than he ever could if I was given the chance. Oh, yeah… I had the chance, I had plenty of chances, and I blew it. I almost forgot.
I wish I could go back, you know? I wish I could go back in time and just tell you how I felt instead of beating around the bush. I wish I could have just said, "Kurt Hummel, I am totally and completely in love with you," instead of just letting you go. I wish I could just say that you can't be with him because you're mine, but I can't because you aren't mine. You're his. And it breaks my heart just knowing that.
I love you, Kurt. I love you so much. I love you so much that I can't even think straight sometimes. I love you so much that it physically hurts me somehow. I love you so much that nothing seems important when you're around me. I love you so much that I occasionally cry at night. I love you so much that I can't hear a simple love song without thinking of you. I love you so much that I start to hate myself for not telling you any of this.
You're everything, Kurt, absolutely everything. You're beautiful. You're perfect. You're sexy. You're talented. You're smart. You're unique. You're funny. You're just… everything, Kurt, everything to me.
You have no idea how much I want to kiss you when ever you're around. You have no idea how much I just want to reach out and hold you. You have no idea how much I just want to tell you I love you. You have no idea how much I just want to touch you, make you feel me with you. You have no idea how truly thankful I am that out of all those other boys you could have stopped on that staircase, you chose me. You just have no idea and I'm afraid you never will.
One day, I will find somebody, somebody to love. But I honestly believe that no matter how much I love them, they won't be you. They will never be you. Ever.
So much love, Blaine
xxXXxx
Blaine reread his letter in his hands, his eyes not tearing from the paper. A single tear fell onto the page, leaving a little wet mark on it. He clenched his eyes shut as he folded it up and set it down on his lap before reaching down into his bag on the floor by his feet to pull out an envelope. He gave one last look to the letter he just spilled his heart onto and allowed another tear to fall onto it. He focused his attention back to the envelope and put the letter inside of it silently. He flipped it over and pressed a gentle kiss to the paper.
"I love you," He whispered very softly in the empty Dalton room. He remembered singing 'Baby, It's Cold Outside' with Kurt in this exact room last winter.
Blaine drew one long breathe before standing up and approaching the fireplace. More silent tears escaped his eyes as he looked down into the burning fire, letter in hand.
"Hey, Blaine," he heard from behind him at the door. Blaine brought his hand to his face and began wiping away his tears, sniffling as he did so. He turned around to see Kurt approaching him with a broad, friendly grin. He couldn't help but smile back at the beautiful boy before him.
"Hey," he greeted, trying his best to sound cheerful, but failing.
"What are you doing here all alone?" Kurt asked, still smiling, ever so sweetly, at him.
"Um," Blaine looked around the room, avoiding Kurt's gaze, "just hanging out, doing a bit of homework. I was just leaving actually…" Kurt stared at him thoughtfully as he leaned over to grab his bag off of the ground and tossing it over his shoulder.
"Okay," he nodded. Blaine looked up to him and smiled, still holding the letter in his hands behind his back. He flicked it back into the fire without looking. He gave Kurt a final wave before walking away awkwardly. Kurt watched as he left the room. Within seconds, he was all alone.
He turned back around to look at the fire until something caught his eye.
A single envelope laid flat on the corner of the pit, ash speckled lightly on the white paper, the corner of it burned slightly. He bent down and picked it up carefully. He eyed it thoughtfully before carrying it to the couch closest to him. He took a seat and opened it up slowly. He pulled out the piece of paper inside of it and unfolded it. He began reading.
'Dear Kurt…'
xxXXxx
AN: This is JUST a one-shot. Nothing more. I'm sorry I kind of ended it with a cliffhanger. I feel like if I added anymore, it wouldn't sound right. But if anyone would like to continue it with Kurt's reaction and stuff, that would be awesome. If anyone actually DOES continue it, link me and let me know. I'd be happy to read it. Anyways… let me know what you think in the review section thingy?