Chapter One
I once had the woman of my dreams, I had the perfect life, an absolutely amazing life to tell you the truth and it was taken away from me. My wife, my daughter, taken from me and my life might as well have ended with theirs, at least that is how I felt at the time. I was at my lowest point and I saw no way out of the darkness that surrounded me. How could I live without them when my life was them?
Now I find myself in love again, the one thing I knew for sure I would never have after they were taken from me but here it is. Love is alive and pulsing through my veins, alive with every breath I take, love has taken over my thoughts and clouded my judgment, is there anyway to tell you that I love you?
Gibbs sank into his couch and took a swig from the bottle of bourbon he'd been working on finishing that night. He was done with his boat and his basement was empty and therefore he had nothing to do but drink. His cell phone rang and he looked at the caller ID, "Caroline." He sighed and shoved the phone back into his pocket and took another swig bourbon. "We need to talk." He said to the empty room. "But not tonight, I'm not really sure how to say it yet." The cell phone stopped ringing and he knew she wouldn't leave a message, she would know that he saw she called and would call when the time was right for him. They had been dating for 5 months and he liked her, she didn't cling, when he wanted space she'd give it to him, no questions asked. She was comfortable with silence; she didn't feel the need to fill up the silence with incessant babble and she was a cop, metro police department and she was called away at awkward times just as he was, she also understood completely when he needed to be at work with no interruptions plus there was the fact that she loved the smell of sawdust. . She was perfect for him.
When his cell phone rang again he pulled it out of his pocket knowing it wouldn't be Caroline, DiNozzo's name flashed on the caller ID and he sighed as he pushed the talk button. "Yeah."
"Hey boss, whatchya up to?" DiNozzo asked.
"What is it Tony?"
"Just wondering what my favorite head honcho is up to on a Tuesday night. Do you need any help on the boat?"
"DiNozzo."
"Or ya know you had said that you wanted to paint your living room."
"I never…" Gibbs started and Tony cut him off.
"Oh yeah that was your dad that said you need some fresh paint in that house. I could help you do that boss, I could stop and get some paint on the way over."
"Tony." Gibbs said gruffly.
"Or um I could bring pizza and beer." Gibbs looked at the almost empty bottle of bourbon.
"Make it bourbon and then we'll talk." Gibbs said and hit the end button. He sank back down into the couch; it must be bad if Tony was calling him to come over, what could he have gotten himself into now? Gibbs wondered as he finished off the rest of the bourbon. Gibbs looked around the room, the place definitely could use some paint. Now that it had been brought to his attention he would have to do it, now he would only see the dingy white walls and places where the paint was chipping off, he sighed and closed his eyes, if he didn't look at the walls they wouldn't need painting.
Thirty minutes later there was a knock on his door, Gibbs was just about to get up to answer it when the door opened and Tony walked in putting the pizza and bottle of bourbon on the coffee table in front of Gibbs. "I got some beer for me." He said with an apologetic grin. "I can't drink that stuff." Tony said nodding to the bottle. Tony set the beer down on the table as well grabbed a can for him, then sat down across from Gibbs. The pizza smelled delicious but he wasn't going to dig in until Tony spilled on why he was here, he sat and stared at DiNozzo, watching him drink his beer. "What?'' Tony asked in a tone that would have sounded surprised to anyone who didn't know him, Gibbs didn't say anything. Tony sighed and made a move for the pizza box, Gibbs put his hand on top, preventing him access to the pie. "That is cruel boss, really really cruel." Tony sighed and took another drink of beer. "I can't believe you treat the homeless this way."
"Homeless?" Gibbs asked.
"Well you see there was this fire at my apartment building, and well now I have no apartment. No clothes. No shoes." He took another long drag from his beer and stood up. "What you see is pretty much all of my belongings, well except of course my car and what I have at work." Tony sat back down. "Freak'n fire." He said angrily. "A freak'n fire boss." Gibbs removed his hand from the pizza box, grabbed the new bottle of bourbon and sank back into the couch. "So I was wondering if I could maybe…"
"McGee?" Gibbs asked.
"No way am I bunking with McGeek, besides boss he only has one bed and I don't even think he has a couch, he has all that computer stuff and that typewriter thingy, there's no room at the Probie Inn, no way am I sharing a bed with him." Tony opened the pizza box and grabbed a slice.
"Abby?"
"Do you think she has a spare coffin?" Tony asked with a shudder. "Boss, I can't, it's creepy sleeping in a coffin…not that I would know first hand but just the thought of it." Tony shuddered again and took another drink. "Besides she's dating Bob now and I don't know what all goes on there when our dark princess isn't analyzing blood samples and tire treads. Can you believe she's dating a guy named Bob?" Tony's eyebrows scrunched together as he thought. "I'd pictured her with a guy named Spike or Jet or Wolf…Cleatus." Tony exclaimed. "I can totally see her with a Cleatus but not a Bob." He looked puzzled again. "Bob?"
"Ziva?" Tony looked at Gibbs for a moment and laughed.
"And before you suggest it I asked Ducky and he was a no go, something about infestation and fumigation, I tuned him out after that and don't even think about Palmer man." Tony shook his head. "Boss, you're all I have." Tony was silent as he ate his pizza and Gibbs was glad for the few minutes of quiet bliss. "I guess I could crash at work, sleep in the lounge."
"Save it DiNozzo." Gibbs sighed and grabbed a slice of pizza for himself.
"Does that mean I can stay?" Tony asked hopefully, Gibbs chewed thoughtfully for a moment watching Tony squirm out of the corner of his eye. "I swear boss, you'll never know I'm here, unless of course you want to know I'm here, like if you want me to paint for you I can do that. I can um, cook, or at least I can order take out, ya know if you want food at night to go with the bourbon." Tony nodded to the empty bottle and Gibbs glared at him. "Sorry boss, just bustin your chops, I can sleep on the couch, that is not a problem, I fall asleep on my couch all the time, or at least I use to before it became a pile of smoldering ash." Tony was silent for a moment as he thought of all that he had lost.
"No." Gibbs said and took a drink of bourbon.
"No?" Tony asked.
"No you are not going to sleep on the couch."
"Oh." Tony looked crestfallen. "Okay boss, mind if…"
"You can sleep in the spare room." Gibbs said cutting him off. "But I'm warning you DiNozzo, when you're on a date take it back to her place."
"Oh I love you man." Tony exclaimed and Gibbs nodded.
"And grab some of that paint, we've got a project while you're here."
"Right boss."
"No outrageous colors." Gibbs said standing up.
"No, nothing to bright or lively." Tony teased and Gibbs glared at him.
"Do you want to be homeless?"
"Um no boss." Tony smiled. "You wouldn't leave me homeless would you?"
"Don't tempt me." Gibbs smiled to himself as he made his way up the stairs to set up the spare bedroom for Tony. "And don't eat all the pizza." Gibbs hollered over his shoulder.
Chapter Two
Gibbs opened the door to his house and found Tony standing in the hallway with a goofy grin on his face. "DiNozzo." Gibbs said tiredly. When the director had first suggested that Tony take a few days off to get his affairs in order Gibbs had thought it was a good idea. He realized it might be more than a bit hard working and living with Tony, as much as he loved the kid there was only so much Tony any one person could handle. Then the flashbacks came of Tony on sick leave after he'd contracted the pneumonic plague and he tried to talk Tony into coming right back to work. Now as he stood in the hallway of his house looking at the goofy expression on Tony's face he felt a sinking pit of dread in the core of his body. "Please…please don't make me hurt you tonight." He threw his car keys on the table beside the door and set down a cup of coffee.
"Boss, I have a surprise for you." Tony replied excitedly.
"Good or bad?" Gibbs asked taking off his jacket.
"Oh boss it is totally excellent." Tony replied. "You know how you only have like one tv in this cave you call a house?" Gibbs eyed him suspiciously.
"Yeah."
"Well." Tony said stepping aside and motioning for Gibbs to look in the living room. "Tadda." He said excitedly. Gibbs peered around the corner and looked a brand new 42 inch flat screen tv. "Boss this thing is high def and I called the satellite company and they are going to come over tomorrow to hook you up man." Tony walked over to the tv talking a mile a minute. Gibbs tuned him out when the geek speak started to flow.
"DiNozzo." Gibbs barked. Tony turned around looking a bit crestfallen. Gibbs opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out.
"I know it's not really your style boss but I just wanted…" he paused. "I wanted to thank you for letting me stay here, I know it um…that I um…" Tony searched for the right words. "I didn't know what would say thank you Gibbs style so I just went with thank you Tony style." The younger man looked apologetic and Gibbs felt a surge of sympathy take over. Gibbs smiled a true heart felt smile.
"Thank you Tony." The smile that spread across his senior field agent's face said it all.
"I got some great movies for us to watch too boss and I ordered us some food which should be here any moment now." Tony said looking at his watch. "It's going to be a great night boss trust me." Gibbs nodded.
"Where's the beer?" He asked with a smile.
"Yeah boss, that's what I'm talking about!" Tony exclaimed. He went to the kitchen and grabbed the beer. Gibbs settled down in the couch as he pretended to listen to Tony explain how to work everything. "Wait till you check out the surround sound." Tony sat down next to Gibbs.
"I can hardly wait." Gibbs replied opening his beer. Half way through the movie Tony's phone rang. The younger man hit the pause button.
"Boss it's my insurance agent." Gibbs nodded and Tony moved to the kitchen to talk in private. Gibbs closed his eyes and wondered how much longer the movie could possibly be, he had already figured out who had killed the millionaire and had mentally picked apart the sloppy crime scene investigation skills of the actors. He would have rung his agents necks if they had handled a crime scene in such a manner he thought when he heard a loud thud from the porch. Gibbs was up in an instant and across the room and into the hallway to secure his gun. Gibbs opened the door and peered into the darkness at first he saw nothing and then he saw movement in the shadows in the corner of his porch. Just as he was about raise his gun and shout out a warning a soft voice startled him.
"Hey Gibbs." He felt his pulse quicken, then he sighed and lowered his gun.
"Abbs?" He asked walking out onto his porch closing the door.
"I didn't mean bother you." She said as he walked over to her, she was slouched down against the wall, knees drawn up to her chest, an empty bottle of alcohol lay off to the side.
"What's wrong Abbs?" she sighed but didn't say anything. Gibbs lowered himself down next to her, sitting close but not touching. "Hey." He said trying to fix his eyes to hers, she seemed to be trying to avoid eye contact.
"I didn't mean to interrupt movie night." Abby sighed. "I didn't realize."
"Me neither." Gibbs chuckled. "It was a surprise." Abby nodded and picked up the empty bottle. She looked in it, then untwisted the lid and tried to coax the last few drops out. "So are you gonna tell me what's up?" Abby shrugged.
"I just felt like coming over to say hi."
"With a bottle of…" Gibbs took the bottle from her. "What is that tequila?" Gibbs asked squinting in the darkness.
"Yeah." Abby replied. "I needed a drink."
"You never drink Abbs, unless things are really really bad." Abby lowered her head to her knees and began to cry. "Did someone hurt you Abby?" Gibbs asked the sudden urgency to fix whatever was making her cry over came him. "Tell me who hurt you and I'll take care of them."
"No." Abby said softly. "It's not like that."
"Did Bob do this? Is Bob the one who's making you cry?" Gibbs suddenly felt like he didn't know enough about Bob. Abby had only been seeing him for a little over a month and what little digging he'd done into Bob's past hadn't turned up much.
"No." Abby cried harder.
"I swear Abby if he went psycho stalker on you I will take a bat to…"
"No Gibbs." Abby said looking up at him, her tear filled eyes felt like a punch right to his gut. "Bob is the nicest guy I've been out with in a long time." She sniffled. "He is very much the gentleman, he makes me laugh." She smiled. "For our one month anniversary he made me a database of Styrofoam peanuts." Gibbs listened as she went into detail about the database and how sweet Bob was for such a thoughtful gift. When she was silent he began again.
"He sounds like a really nice guy." Abby leaned her head on his shoulder and she nodded.
"He is a totally awesome guy, in every way." Gibbs maneuvered his arm so it was around her and he pulled her in close to him. He heard her inhale deeply and then sigh, he thought the sigh sounded contented.
"Then what is the problem Abbs." He held up the empty bottle in front of her face but he wasn't even sure her eyes were open. She was silent for a few minuts and he thought she had fallen asleep when she answered.
"I'm so sad." She started and then stopped abruptly.
"Did he break up with you?" she shook her head and buried her face in his armpit. He smiled as he felt her warm breath against his skin.
"You smell good Gibbs." She said into his shirt and then she began crying again.
"Abby just tell me." Gibbs said pulling away from her so that he could look her in the eye.
"I broke up with Bob." Abby cried and pushed Gibbs' hands away from her, so that they were no longer touching.
"I thought you really liked him." Gibbs asked and he felt his stomach turn into a knot.
"I do…he is the funniest guy, he's smart and he makes me laugh." She said.
"And the problem?"
"Gibbs." Abby said softly, sounding so vulnerable he wanted to pull her close and shield her from whatever was hurting her. "He wasn't you." She said softly and he watched as the tears flowed down her cheeks. Gibbs sighed, this was not a conversation to be had with DiNozzo lurking around the house.
"Abby with Tony here…" she cut him off.
"I know I should leave." He shook his head.
"I was going to say let's got back to your place." He looked around for her car. "Car?" he asked.
"I took a cab." She held up the empty bottle and Gibbs nodded. He went to the door and opened it, listening he heard Tony still on the phone with his insurance company. He grabbed the keys off the table and went to Abby. She leaned against him heavily, the affect of the alcohol weighing on her heavily as she stood up.
"Gibbs I'm sorry." She slurred. "This isn't how I thought…" he cut her off.
"We need to talk Abbs and here is not the place." She nodded and let him lead her to his car.
Chapeter 3
Gibbs helped Abby through the front door of her apartment and to her sofa. She collapsed onto it and sighed. "It's good to be home." She said as she nuzzled into the cushions. Gibbs smiled and sat down next to her studying the younger woman's face.
"Abbs." He said softly, she had slept the entire way over to her apartment until he had open the car door to get her out. She had awoken asking if she had time to hit the snooze button one more time.
"Gibbs." Abby purred softly and she looked at him through half open eyes. "Gibbs, I wanted to talk to you."
"I know Abbs but you're a bit…"
"Drunk." She finished.
"Yeah." He laughed and relaxed back into the sofa cushions.
"I had to get drunk Gibbs to tell you how I feel." She sighed and re arranged herself so that her head was on his shoulder.
"Abby you know that you can tell me anything…anytime…anywhere and not have to be drunk to do so."
"But…" she trailed off. "You didn't want to talk in front of Tony." She smiled. "That is not anywhere."
"Yeah." He laughed. "You got me, anytime, anywhere except in front of DiNozzo."
"I love you." She said suddenly. Gibbs was quiet for a minute.
"I love…"
"No Gibbs." Abby said as she sat up and looking at him, putting her finger against his lips. "I mean I LOVE YOU love you." She stressed the first I love you. "Like the kind of I love you that has me thinking about you when I'm with the perfect man for me." She said and she started to cry. "I mena you wouldn't know the first thing about databases…let alone databases for packing peanuts." She laughed. "But when I'm with him all I find myself thinking about is you." She said poking him in the chest. "I think about you when I'm kissing Bob and…" Gibbs cut her off.
"I know." He said. Abby stopped and looked at him.
"You know?" she asked and he nodded. She smacked his shoulder. "Then why did you let me go on and on about how I feel if all this time you already knew that I…" Gibbs cut her off.
"I mean I know because I feel the same about you." He said and they stared at each other for a long moment. "Abby I know because I want to be with you too."