Title: Revenge Is

Rating: K+

Summary: Neville Longbottom. The witless wonder, mindless marvel and infamous Gryffindor screw-up. A simple potions assignment, Hermione, and porcupine quills. But what happens when things go unexpectedly?

Disclaimer: I only borrow JK's characters for the purpose of my little plot bunnies.

Revenge Is

Neville Longbottom wearily packed his potions ingredients into his school bag, quite ready for the end of the class. Potions was always a horrible class, filled with taunts from teacher and students alike. The smell of the dank dungeons was enough to make anyone nauseous, and the smell of the various disgusting ingredients reminded him strongly of the mildew which grew on his grandmothers curtains when she didn't clean them often enough. The only reason he was passing was Hermione Granger- and even her helpful hints were cut short on occasion. Such as today.

At the beginning of class, Professor Snape had set them to the task of preparing a potion which could help plants recover from rips or tears in their leaves. The official name was something much shorter, of course, but much more complicated, as well. And, to ensure that none of his students (he had pointedly looked at the Gryffindors only) cheated, he put two students from opposite houses at the same table. Neville had wound up next to Crabbe- hardly the best person to be asking for help in any class, let alone potions. Therefore, the class had dragged on miserably; the only source of entertainment was watching the multi-colored smoke curl around the stone lanterns hanging from the ceilings. And even that wasn't much help for the bored student mind.

So it was with a heavy heart that Neville took the sheet of parchment from Professor Snape, the parchment with his score for the day on it. He was dreading the moment when he looked and found the spiky handwriting so much that he didn't even look at it, just shoved it in his bag. As the bell rang at the end of the class, he joined the queue line shuffling out of the door. Halfway up the stairs, though, his bag split from one end to the other, and the contents were scattered across the corridor.

"It was just the porcupine quills! They were so hard to get just right, and –" Hermione's voice was cut off by a male one.

"Oh, give it a rest Hermione. Nobody got an 'E' on that potion- not even Malfoy! Take the 'A' and shut up! Oi- Neville!" A mop of red hair came into Neville's view as Ron Weasley leaned down to help him pick up his stuff. The two pairs of feet next to him continued walking; Neville grabbed his books to save them from being trodden on. Feeling eyes on him, he turned to see Ron staring at him, mouth open.

"What?" asked Neville slightly defensively.

"Blimey, Neville! Why didn't you tell anyone about this?"

"About what?" Neville was utterly confused as Ron held up the piece of potions parchment. But then he saw the letter in the upper corner- one he had thought he would never see on anything from that class. A big, sharp 'E', followed by smaller writing reading 'A near perfect potion. Congratulations, Longbottom, you have far surpassed my expectations. Assuming you did this assignment on your own, which I highly doubt.'

Neville gaped in amazement, and took the paper out of Ron's hand. "I… I can't believe it." And judging from the look on people's faces when he was in the Great Hall for dinner, nobody else could either. Many didn't believe that the witless wonder could have beaten the greatest brain in their year on a potions assignment. Others were laughing, teasing Hermione for it.

"Oi, mate, what did ya do? That's like, unheard of!" Seamus Finnegan proclaimed as soon as Neville took a seat next to him. Dean Thomas and Lavender Brown cheered in agreement, laughing as Hermione looked horrified when Ron pointed at her paper. She stalked out a few minutes later, after someone else asked her if it were true she had gotten a lower score then Neville Longbottom.

A bit guilty, Neville followed after a reasonable interval. Not quite sure where to look first, he headed to the library, where he found her poring over a book, looking at the recipe for the potion they had done in class. Again, unsure of what to do, he cleared his throat. Hermione looked up.

"Oh, hey Neville." Her voice sounded oddly strained, and there was something in the look on her face which signaled that she was perhaps, not completely happy with her current situation. "What's up?"

"Hermione, look, about that Potions' grade…"

"Neville, it's fine. Congratulations." Her voice, once again, gave her away.

"Are you sure you're okay with that? Something tells me you aren't." She nodded, this time looking truly happy.

"No, I'm fine with it. I'm really happy for you." Neville nodded, and waved as he left. Hermione shook her head slowly as Harry came around the corner. He sat down across from her, and raised his eyebrows.

"He still has no idea, does he?"

"I almost feel bad for doing it. But it was about time for Neville to get some self-esteem. Anyways, it was just one grade. I'm not going to fail the class because of one faked failing grade." Harry shrugged.

"As long as he's play with it, I suppose I am, too. Just one thing." Hermione looked up questioningly. "Can you fail Transfiguration for me?"