Tell Me

Zander sat sullenly in the back table at Kelly's, staring into his coffee cup, replaying the events of the past year in his mind. Why had he ever gotten involved with Carly? Not that a few kisses would be considered involved, but he did let himself get attached to her. Perhaps it was just the overwhelming lonliness that had consumed him, since Emily had taken her love away and shattered his entire world. Carly had brought some fun, at least for a few moments, into his life again. She had actually cared about him, when everyone else was too caught up in their own issues to notice his pain. Not that there was anybody else who would've cared about him, besides Alexis, but she was too obsessed with Sonny. He thought Sonny cared about him, but it became obvious that he only thought of him as an employee, someone to use and throw away once his usefulness was tapped out. And Zander was. He was fed up with Sonny treating him like a child, never being entrusted with anything more than babysitting Carly. Everything had come to a head when Carly had gone too far, by attempting suicide, just to get Sonny back. It had worked, and Zander was disgusted. He yelled at them, declaring that their relationship was completely destructive and left too many casualties in their paths. He walked out on both of them that day. Hell, it was only a week ago! It seemed like another lifetime. Now Zander was once again faced with an uncertain future, contemplating leaving town for good this time. Monica Quartermaine was right to tell him that his life was going nowhere. He thought back to a time when he knew exactly what he wanted.

Laughter came in from the front door, shaking Zander from his daydream. It was Elizabeth and Jason. Zander was tempted to run up to Jason and ask if he knew anything about Emily, but he held himself back, listening in on their conversation.

"I can't believe how we ran into each other," Elizabeth giggled. "It almost feels like the past year never happened."

"There was a bit of deja vu in the park earlier," Jason replied. "But this time you left with me." He smiled.

Zander was shocked. That was the first time he'd ever seen Jason Morgon look anything other than stone-faced. Elizabeth really must have some sort of power over him. He made a mental note.

"So, is Emily up for any visitors?" Elizabeth asked.

"I'm sure she would love to see a friendly face. Being back home is probably going to take some adjusting, but the Quartermaines have set up a room in the mansion for her physical therapy sessions..."

Jason kept talking, but that was all Zander heard, as it reverberated around in his head. Emily is home. Emily is home. Emily is home. He threw some money on the table and got up to leave.

"Zander!" Jason said, as he dashed past. "Hey, wait!"

"Do you think he heard us?" Elizabeth worried. "He seemed to be in a big hurry."

"Three guesses where he's headed." Jason sighed heavily. "I really wanted to talk to him first, though. Oh, well. I'm sure he'll get everything spelled out to him once he sees her.

"I really hope they can work it out, Jason. Zander told me that he hadn't gotten over Emily and probably never would. I know she still loves him, too."

"Well, it's not up to us. We gotta let Emily do whatever she thinks is right."

"And if that means never seeing Zander again, you wouldn't mind a bit, would you?" Elizabeth raised her eyebrows, as Jason simply shrugged.

"Please, just let me talk to her for a minute," Zander pleaded with Monica. "I know you hate me, but..."

"Zander, I don't hate you," she interrupted, "I'm sorry for what I said at the hospital. You just caught me at a bad time. Honestly, I'm just doing what my daughter asked. She doesn't want to see you. Please respect that and just go home."

Home? Emily was the only home he'd ever known. He nodded and turned away, feeling defeated. Then a little voice inside him told him to go to the patio. As he came around the corner of the house, he saw her and froze. She looked even more beautiful than he remembered. Her hair fell loosely around her shoulders, the crop top and shorts she wore showed off her lovely figure... a little curvier, he thought. She was lounging on the deck chair, reading a book, like she had no cares in the world. It was almost as if he was transported back in time, to the last time they were here alone together, the night that Monica caught them breaking curfew. Zander smiled at the memory of Emily's sweet lips and supple body that had pressed against his in the heat of passion. Good thing her mother hadn't shown up any later, or they might not have gotten away with a simple warning.

Emily noticed Zander out of the corner of her eye, as soon as he rounded the corner. She had been reading the same passage over and over, trying to conjure up the courage to say something, anything to make him leave, but she realized that she didn't want him to go. Being in his presence for this one moment had given her more energy than the entire time she had been away at rehab. How could she be so stupid to give that up? Maybe she should give them another chance, and believe in him the way she always had before everything got so messed up. Then she remembered the reason she had broken up with him, and she felt her insides go cold.

Zander wasn't sure why he was there. He had no clue what to say to her. Oh, wait, how about, "Hi, baby, remember me? I'm the guy who's heart you trashed. But I'll forgive you if you just take me back and make me feel alive again." Yeah, that would go over great. He was reprimanding himself for his stupidity for even showing up here, and was about to back away quietly, when her voice stopped him. "Why are you here, Zander?" He waited for her to look at him, but she didn't. She kept looking down at her book. How long had she known he was standing there? "I don't know, exactly," he replied. "I guess I just wanted to see you with my own eyes, to make sure that you're okay, and to find out the real reason why you dumped me."

Emily swallowed hard and tried to keep her nerves from getting the best of her. She had expected this confrontation sooner or later. At least now she would finally be able to put everything behind her. She tried to go with her original story. "I told you on the phone, Zander..."

"Don't give me that crap, Emily!" he cried. "I didn't believe you then, and I don't believe you now! We meant too much to each other, to have one stupid mistake come between us. And where is this convenient new boyfriend of yours, huh?" He walked over and sat down beside her, trying to calm down. "Baby, please, just tell me the truth."

Emily was trying not to look at Zander, knowing that she would break down and fall into his arm, begging for him to turn back time, to love her the way he had before the accident. But his broken plea for the truth got to her. She heard the pain in his voice tearing into her the way it had all those months ago. He had begged her to listen to him, but she cut him off with her cruel words and hung up the phone before he could hear her own anguish. She had cried so many tears that night, and nearly every night after that, over what could never be. "Emily please," he begged again. She looked up and was captured by his glistening hazel orbs. She felt herself begin to melt, unable to resist the pull on her heart. Maybe there was a chance. "Zander, I..." her voice caught in her throat and she was unable to speak. She prayed that he would just read her mind and understand and forgive.

Zander saw in her eyes the reflection of his own longing and pain. He took a chance. "If you can look into my eyes and tell me that you don't love me, that everything we ever shared was a mistake, I will leave here and never bother you again," he choked out. She held his gaze, even as her tears began to fall. "I can't do that," she whispered. Zander exhaled loudly, letting himself laugh, truly laugh, for the first time in almost a year. There was hope. She still loved him! Suddenly, he didn't care about anything but that one simple fact. He pulled her into his arms and held onto her for dear life.

Emily lost herself in Zander's embrace, feeling the love and hope well up inside of her until she was overflowing with happiness. They cried and laughed together for several moments, until the pull became too strong for them to resist. Their lips met in a tender kiss, that soon became hungry and desperate. They couldn't seem to get close enough to one another. Soon Emily was pulling Zander down on top of her, while he was lifting her leg up around his hip, their moans and whimpers mingling. "I've missed you so much, Zander," Emily whispered when they finally came up for air. "Me, too, baby," he replied, stroking her face gently, smiling into her eyes.

"Emily, it's time for our session," a young woman called out. Zander felt Emily tense against him, her expressing going from joy to fear in an instant.

The moment of truth had arrived, and Emily was terrified. All the months of playing out different scenarios in her head would now come to light. Which one would it be? "Zander, there's something I didn't tell you... Maybe I was wrong, but I was so afraid of losing what we once had, that I didn't even want to risk it..." Emily babbled nervously.

"Baby, you're not making any sense." Zander tried to calm her. "Whatever it is, we can get through it. I promise." He could see that Emily wasn't really paying attention to him, so obviously caught up in whatever was troubling her. Zander stood up, as a young dark-haired woman stepped out onto the patio. "Ah, you are out here," she said.

"Sharon, this is Zander..." Emily inroduced Zander to her physical therapist.

"Nice to meet you, Zander. Would you like to help me out?" Sharon asked, as she retrieved a wheelchair from the living room and brought it over. Emily kept her gaze down at the ground, unable to look Zander in the face. She was so afraid of seeing pity, regret or guilt.

Zander felt as if he had been punched in the stomach, as he helped Sharon get Emily into her wheelchair, noticing that Emily wasn't moving her feet at all. All this time had done nothing to improve her mobility? Things were becoming clear to him, the way she was avoiding looking at him. He remembered their last day together at the hospital. She was so afraid that he wouldn't want her anymore because she might be stuck in a wheelchair. He had to make her understand how wrong she was. "Emily... baby, please look at me." He kneeled in front of her and reached out to brush away a tear that had slipped down her cheek. "Is this what you couldn't tell me? Is this the reason you broke up with me? Did you actually think that I would love you any less than I do, just because you still can't walk?"

Emily heard his soft words, felt the gentle touch of his hand, and looked up at him. "Zander, I may never walk again," she whispered sadly. She expected him to be shocked or disgusted, but all that she saw was his love for her. He smiled at her and her heart felt lighter. "I didn't want to become a burden on you," she finally admitted. "I was so afraid of seeing the love in your eyes fade away. I figured it would be easier to break it off before that happened... but I was wrong. It has been so hard being without you..."

"You don't ever have to be without me, Emily." Zander took her hands in his. "I love you, and that's never gonna change. And if you never walk again, we'll deal with it. Do you think your grandfather loves your grandmother any less because she's in a wheelchair?" At her smile, he hugged her tightly. "C'mon, let's not keep Sharon waiting." He pulled back and kissed her lightly, then wheeled her into the house, looking forward to whatever the future may hold... as long as they were together.

The End.

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