Love Saved Me
By
PepsiAngelDisclaimer:
Harry and any other characters mentioned belong to J.K. Rowling. I am borrowing Ginny for the time being but she too is Rowling's property.Author's Note: The idea just came to me and I had to write it. A little different from my usual stuff but I hope you like it. Now go read and review!
Dedication: To the spectacular Nita, She's A Star, because she wanted more G/H from me. Here it is, short and with a weak ending, but here.
I have never admitted this before, not to anyone, even myself. I have tried to deny it but I suppose I must acknowledge the fact sometime. Before I saw, and ultimately fell in love with, Harry I was miserable. I was young, too young to consider suicide. But if I had not fell so hard for Harry, who is to say I wouldn't have tried to take my own life as I got older?
Even though we are not together and he has not shown any sign of reciprocating my feelings it doesn't matter, any of it. Just because he is out there, a person I care for more that I could ever care about myself, it makes me happier. It makes my life worth living. At first, I was selfish and this was not enough. I pined over him and wanted, no, needed his love, but I have learned to just be satisfied with finding someone I can love.
I still hope for him, of course. I still wish on stars, still hope and pray for his heart every waking moment of my life. I doubt if I will ever not need him, love him, or want him with every bone in my body. At least now I can accept that he probably will never need, love, or even want me.
Love saved me; it is as simple as that. My love for him saved me. If I did not have him to think about and dream about I would have had nothing. Nothing that was mine and only mine, anyway. All my things have once belonged to someone else. I either got it from one of my brothers or a second hand shop. Even my one close friend, Hermione Granger, was Ron's friend first. The few items I have that belonged solely to me are held dear to my heart. These are just material things though, what I have with Harry is not. This made it so much more important, so much more special.
I held my feelings for him in, as long as possible, so I could have these marvelous, powerful emotions to myself for awhile. Unfortunately, I was quite obvious and my family can figure anything out so it wasn't long before they discovered my secret. This resulted in Harry knowing, naturally, but he did not tease me or smirk at me. He seemed more embarrassed then anything, actually. In my first year, he saved my life- long story- and this escaladed my feelings to new heights.
I was very lonely over the years. The only thing I had was my love for Harry. You can see now why I came to the conclusion that, inadvertently, he saved my life numerous times. If he had not been there, in my heart and definitely mind, then I would have felt a lot more alone. I can't pinpoint a specific time when I could have committed suicide. I reckon my third year was awful; I still had only a handful of friends after several years at Hogwarts. That was also the year of the TriWizard Tournament so it meant a dance, one Harry and I both attended. As you might have guessed, we did not go together. Harry took Parvati, the brainless ditz, and a friend, Neville, asked me. This made me feel unbelievably wretched. It was probably the closest I came to really wanting to end my life.
Ever since I was ten, though, I had a purpose in life. There was always the chance that, at any second of any day, Harry might confess his everlasting love for me. Not likely, I realize that, but it was my purpose nonetheless. It still is, oddly enough. Harry has saved me countless times. I hope I will have the chance to return the favor and save him.
I would save him from a loveless life. I would save him with my unwavering affection.
FIN
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