By Maidenhair the Draver
Disclaimer: I don't own Les Miserables.
Dedicated to Syen and Lahz, the only two people who will understand this level of weirdness that I know of.
Once, when hope was high and life worth living, there were two front teeth in the mouth of a French woman. They were happy teeth, and gnawed to their roots' content on any food assigned them. They were honest, hard working teeth that never pained their owner with a cavity.
The first tooth was named Chompy. Next to it was its twin, Champy. They were shiny, white and smooth as a baby's bottom. All the other mediocre teeth envied the twins, wishing that they had such illustrious shine. The twins weren't proud, however, and always behaved like model teeth.
One day their mistress became poor. She could no longer care for all her needs. So, she had to make a horrific decision. She had to sell Chompy and Champy to the false teeth maker!
Poor Chompy and Champy were yanked from their home and thrust into a wooden jaw. The jaw, with Chompy and Champy in it was given to a man named Javert.
Javert didn't care for the twins. He was so busy with his job he overlooked dental hygiene. (That was why he had false teeth to begin with.) One day, Chompy and Champy fell out. A little boy named Gavroche found them.
Gavroche thought that the twins were pretty. He made them into a necklace and wore them to a battle. Then Gavroche was shot and the twins fell to the cold, wet ground.
It seemed the end on the line for Chompy and Champy. Then, Monsieur Thenardier saved them. He put them in his pocket and brought them to his wife.
"That's a sick joke!" his wife screamed.
Chompy and Champy died.
The end.
Yes. This is supposed to be stupid beyond all reason. I just made it up for no reason. Please don't flame, you didn't have to read it you know.