A/N Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters.
Diary of John Hamish Watson. At the suggestion of my psychiatrist. She wanted me to continue the blog, but I couldn't. Not after what happened. It just bought back too many memories. And the blog was about him really so it makes sense to stop it now, for the readers. And of course they don't help either, with their comments. I'm not sure what was worse, those accusing me of being an accomplice to the fraud, or those offering their sympathies that I was taken in by him too. Both of which are not true, of course. Sherlock Holmes was many things, but he was no fraud.
So I'm writing a diary now.
So today. Today was the funeral. It was a small funeral, not many people came. Mycroft with an older woman, who I assumed was their mother. Lestrade. Mrs Hudson. And me. That was it. I didn't expect many, but four? What about some of his more grateful clients maybe, or what about Molly? I can't believe Molly would believe what the papers are saying, she's seen him work, and she worshipped him. Maybe she had her own reasons, I don't know. I guess it's not my place to judge.
Speaking of judging. I couldn't look Mycroft in the face, not knowing the part he had to play, selling his brother out to Moriarty to get him to talk. Couldn't shake his hand. It was all I could do not to punch him really. I briefly spoke to their Mother, offered my condolences. They left quite quickly after the service. I guess that's the Holmes for you, no time wasted on sentiment.
Lestrade couldn't stay long either. Hung about long enough to tell me he'd sorted out my charges for punching his boss and to give me some interesting information. Apparently Moriarty's body was found on the roof of Barts, near where Sherlock jumped. Suicide he said, put a gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. Time of death a few minutes before Sherlock jumped. Not a suicide pact then, like the cabbie. I don't understand, if he was there he must have been responsible for what Sherlock did somehow, but why would Sherlock do what Moriarty wanted if Moriarty was already dead? Lestrade said he'd leave it with me, his couldn't get anyone at Scotland Yard to investigate further. He hesitated when I asked him why, said I didn't want to know, but I said I could take it. Apparently they all believe Sherlock killed Richard Brook for exposing him, making it look like a suicide, then killed himself out of shame. Case closed. Nothing Lestrade could do. I think he's in some kind of trouble for having supported Sherlock, but he didn't say much and I didn't want to pry. I'm grateful for his support, for him believing.
So then it was just me and Mrs. Hudson standing by his grave. She gave me a few minutes privacy with the grave. I said a few things, things I needed to say, then went and caught up with her. Got a taxi back with her to make sure she got home safe. She wanted me to come in, even for a few minutes, but I couldn't. I felt bad for not being there for her, but just seeing the door was bad enough.
It's nice of Harry to let me stay here. Don't know how long I'll stay, don't know what I'll do now really.