Dauntless
"Edith Ward!" I look up from staring at my feet, a sick feeling at the pit of my stomach. My mom grabs my hand as I stand up, "Choose well, Edith." I can barely keep eye contact with her as she speaks, the sick feeling growing even more. Sucking in a deep breath, I let go of my mom's hand and shuffle past the others in my faction, stepping out onto the stairs. I quickly move down each one, getting closer to the white stage in the centre of the room. When I reach it, I stop in front of them. The bowls. I stare at the five white bowls in front of me. The first I look at is the one with the glass, my faction of birth, Candor. But no, to choose Candor and stay with my parents would be a lie. The next I look at is the earth, Amity. Going to Amity would be good, it would mean I would live my life in peace and happiness. But all the Amity do is lead the same, boring life; I want to be different. My eyes skim over the grey stones - I will not choose them for the same reason I will not choose Amity: everyone is the same and I want to be different. The next I look at is the water. In Erudite everyone gets to learn what they want, which would mean I would be different. But, I feel that life would be too boring for me, so learning in Erudite is not an option. My eyes finally land on the coals. I got this faction as my aptitude test results, and honestly, I was surprised. I lied to my parents as they had expected me to get Candor like everyone else in my family. But, in Dauntless, I can be different and independent. In Dauntless, I can be whoever the hell I like and do whatever the hell I want. So I cut my palm and squeeze my blood onto the coals. The leader of Abnegation, Marcus, calls out, "Dauntless!"
My mother screams my name and I can hear the heartbreak in her voice. Somehow, it is louder than the yells of the Dauntless, but that may be because of the guilt of breaking the expectations of my family. The guilt is heart wrenching and unbearable. But I turn from her and walk over to the Dauntless. Faction before blood, I tell myself. The Dauntless run over to me and pull me into them, shaking my hand and slapping me on the shoulder, some even hugging me. A large grin spreads onto my face - I belong here. Like a rope snapping, the guilt is gone. Instead, bravery fills my heart and I feel strong now, like the Dauntless I am.
Shortly after, with another speech from Marcus, the Choosing Ceremony comes to an end. As Dauntless sits closest to the exit, we are the first to get up and leave. Following the lead of those who were in Dauntless before this day, I jog down the stairs and into the street. People around me then break into a full speed run and it takes a moment for me to join them. Excitement fills me as I run, the shouts of joy from the other Dauntless fill the street and it makes me feel like I have chosen right. Then, those in front of me come to a stop and start climbing the up to the train tracks. My grin widens as I get to one of the beams and start climbing up it. I'd always watched the Dauntless jump on and off the trains they use to get across the city and wondered what it'd be like to do it myself. Now that I am Dauntless, I can do it. I get to the platform and look around. I spot Christina, my friend from Candor, a little way down from me and I give her a wave - I had been excited when I found out we both got Dauntless in the Aptitude test as it meant that my friend would be coming with me.
To my left, I begin to hear the sound of a train coming, the clack of its wheels against the tracks loud and fast. My heart hammers against my chest as I know what is coming - I will have to jump on the train. People start running along the platform and so I start running too. Suddenly, the train shoots past and the people in front of me leap on without any fear at all. As soon as I get the chance, I too jump up and throw myself onto the train. The force of it sends me flying and end up sprawled on the floor. There are some laughs and someone offers me their hand to help me up, which I take, thanking them with a nod of my head as my breath has been taken away from the jump. I hear a few more people jump on and turn around to see it was Christina and an Abnegation girl. I walk over, still grinning like a madman, "Christina! We did it!" Christina grins too, though also out of breath. Christina looks over to the Abnegation girl, "You made it. I'm Christina." I add in, "And I'm Edith." The girl looks over at us with a shaken expression, speaking in a shy voice, "Beatrice." The way she looks and speaks makes me question why she is here, as she doesn't seem very brave. "Is it me or are they trying to kill us?" Christina questions. Beatrice smiles and I laugh, exclaiming, "It's not that bad, it's actually quite fun." A woman on the other end of the carriage speaks, "Get ready!". I look over and see the Dauntless getting ready to jump and go to join them. Christina and Beatrice hesitantly come over too and I hear a conversation between them and some others, about what would happen if you don't jump off. And then the people around me start jumping. Taking a deep breath, I run forward and jump off the train. In a blink, I'm on the ground again, kneeling on some gravel. I push myself and look down at my hands, brushing off the gravel from them, walking over to where everyone has gathered.
I stand in amongst the group of Dauntless-born and transfers, shivering in my thin, billowy Candor shirt. Adrenaline pumps through my body because of the jump and I feel restless, wondering why are we are standing around on the roof of the Dauntless compound? My silent question is answered by the guy on the edge of the roof. I have to admit from just seeing him at this distance that I find him attractive. He's tall, definitely over sit foot, making my five foot seven look small. Even though he is wearing a coat, I can tell that he is quite muscular, as the coat seems a little tight fitting for his body. Something that really draws my attention to him are the thick, black lines tattooed on this neck, running down to the edge of his shirt - I wonder if he has any more tattoos. He has two black ball piercings above one of his eyebrows and two black, flat studs in his ears. He has dirty blonde hair that's combed back neatly and shaved at the sides. His dark eyes scan over us - from this distance, I cannot tell the colour - and thrill passes through me, like just looking at him is dangerous.
"Alright, listen up. I'm Eric. I'm one of your leaders. If you want to enter Dauntless, this is the way in," he speaks in a loud, strong voice. I guess that he's implying that we have to jump off the roof - shouldn't be too difficult seeing as I've been pretty much jumping on and off of things the entire time I've been in Dauntless, even if that actually hasn't been that long. Eric continues to tell us that we have to jump in otherwise we're not part of Dauntless and then asks us who's gonna go first. I look around, noticing that no one is eager to jump. Well then, I might as well- "Me." Beatrice speaks. Everyone turns their head to look at the small young woman, who still looks terrified. I notice Eric glaring at her with an unpleasant expression - obviously, he is not pleased that this scared Abnegation girl is jumping first. After a few moments, she steps timidly past the others, to the edge of the building. Eric jumps down for the ledge and turns his back to us to watch Beatrice jump. I envy the girl, she is the only girl in her faction to transfer to Dauntless and she will be the first jumper, making her stand out like a stick in the mud. I'd like to stand out of the crowd and be noticed.
Peter, a guy from my old faction, makes a snide comment, as Beatrice takes off her cardigan. I roll my eyes, I have to admit I don't get why she's taking it off, it's a bit of an odd thing to do. Beatrice climbs onto the edge, warily looking over to what lies below and stands there for a while. I sigh, we're going to be here forever while she gathers up her courage to jump. "Today, initiate." Eric snarls, also getting impatient at Beatrice's hesitation. That makes her jump. She's gone. Eric turns his icy glare back to us, "Who's next?" A few moments of silence, so I go to speak as the second jumper would also be a good reputation to have, but then a Dauntless-born takes my opportunity. Next time, I'm going to go as soon as Eric asks. The guy jumps and Eric looks over the edge, probably checking to see if it's safe for the next jumper. Again, he turns back to us, "Next."
"I'll go," I say, pushing past the others as soon as he's spoken. I meet his gaze with a smirk on my face, noticing now that I am closer that his eyes are a stormy blue. His expression changes a little, questioning but not in a doubtful way, more intrigued. I walk up to the edge and climb up. I feel Eric's eyes on me as I stare over the edge - there is a large black hole. The adrenaline still running through me calls for me to jump. I do not linger there long, kicking off from the ledge into the air. Gravity pulls me down, my wavy dark brown hair streaming around me as I fall. It feels freeing as I fall - like I am free from my old faction. Suddenly, I hit something. It stretches under my weight and I bounce up after a moment. I sigh deeply as I realize it's a net. Knowing that another initiate is coming soon, I try to get off. As I do, the side of the net is lowered and I see a man with a bored expression - he holds out his hand and helps me off the net.
I as soon as my feet hit the floor, the man asks me, "What's your name? You can pick a new one if you want."
I pause - I can change my name. However, I do not want to stray too far from my birth name, it would feel strange to have something entirely different. After a few moments, I make up my mind: "Eddi."
He turns to the people behind him. "Third jumper: Eddi!" and then turns back to me, "Welcome to Dauntless."
I grin widely and walk over to where Beatrice stands. She seems quite nervous still, so I try to make conversation with her. "Hey, Beatrice. That jump was awesome," I smile. She glances up at me, smiling a little bit now. She seems as if she's about to say something, but then pauses, the finally says, "I'm Tris now. The jump was pretty fun." She looks down again, still not loosening up. Feeling a little awkward, I rub the back of my head and look around, trying to distract myself.
After everyone had jumped down, the man who helped me off the net speaks, "Dauntless-born, go with Lauren, transfers stay with me." The man then introduces himself as our instructor for training, his name being Four. He scolds Christina for speaking out and then leads us throughout the Dauntless compound, showing us the Pit, the Chasm - a terrifying drop in the middle of the pit that has rushing water running through it - the only thing to cross it is a small rickety bridge - and then to our dorms, where we'll sleep during training. We changed into Dauntless clothing, for me, just some plain black leggings and a t-shirt, with a slightly too large black jacket with red highlights. We're taken to burn our clothes and then we head to the food hall for dinner.
I sit opposite Christina at dinner. Next to us is Al, also from Candor, Will, from Erudite, and Tris. We all got served a plain looking hamburger and a slice of chocolate cake. Rumour has it that the Dauntless cake is to die for. I happily munch on my hamburger as people chat around us. The others are talking about their old factions when Four interrupts us, "I don't want to hear about your old factions. You're Dauntless now." The others begin to talk to Four, whilst I look about, taking in the sights, sounds and smells of the busy food hall, thinking to myself that Four was right, I am Dauntless now.
Just as I've finished my food, the entire canteen bangs their cups against the tables. I look up and see a guy who must be the head leader of Dauntless. Beside him stands the other leaders, including Eric, the hot guy from the roof. He leans against the railing, looking down at us all. For a moment, I think his eyes land of me and that feeling that I shouldn't be looking fills me and I look away.
"Initiates, stand," the leader, who I now recognize as Max, commands. We do and he goes on to talk about our choice to join them and their beliefs and how we are expected to follow them too. As soon as he finishes talking, the entire canteen cheers and lifts us up onto their hands. I laugh as everyone celebrates around me. But as I laugh, a well-known feeling enters the pit of my stomach. The insecurity tugs at me, making me think about how we were all addressed as initiates and not individuals. And that we're all supposed to protect the city and believe in the same things. That means I'll end up the same as everyone else, a Dauntless clone. This is exactly what I wanted to escape from.
The morning after I arrived at Dauntless, I wake up early. I do not know the time, but I can tell it is early because I think everyone in the room is in deep sleep according to the loud snores. Quietly, I sit up, pushing my hair out of my face. I climb out of my cot and stand up in the dark room. I stand there for a moment, letting my eyes adjust. I bend down and sort through the folded pile of clothes that we were given, picking out something suitable for training in. I also grab a pair of sneakers and socks. I hold them in one big bundle and as quietly as possible walk over to the bathroom section. I go to a mirror in the corner of the room and put the bundle down. I look at the mirror, noticing that there is a small strip light above it. I fumble for the switch and flick it on, it lets out a small glow, enough for me to see well enough to get ready. First, I get dressed and then I wash. I turn the faucet and run my hands under the water, then splashing my face with water. After washing myself over, I stand back and take in my image in the mirror.
My hair almost appears black in this light, something which I'm probably going to have to get used to as Dauntless doesn't have much lighting. My eyes seem slightly tired, the blue-green irises small because of the little light I'm getting. My lips are rounded but quite thin, my face set in an expression, which looks like a slight frown. I know this look, I've seen it almost every day when I was in Candor. This is my look of insecurity, the face of a person who constantly worries about themselves. I think I'm boring, and I've always wanted not to be, I want to be exciting and fun. I thought coming to Dauntless would help me, but from my first impressions of this place, the worry has come back. I know that I shouldn't be worried as I haven't even been here a day, but the worry doesn't care, it always finds a way to bite at my heels.
I scrunch my eyes shut, trying to get rid of the pit at the bottom of my stomach. But, I can't. I can't, I can't, I can't. I grab onto the edge of the sink in frustration and open my eyes again. My muscles tense up as I stare at the scared reflection. I clench my jaw and grip tighter onto the sink. I'm angry, angry at myself for feeling insecure when there is no reason to. I try to push the anger down as well, but instead, it flares. Quick as a flash, I punch the mirror.
My fist collides with the tough glass and bounces back. I recoil, bringing my fist to my chest. I stand there for a second, every feeling gone except the anger, which hasn't found its satisfaction. I stare my fist, it's already turning slightly red. I cuss under my breath and then grab a hair elastic from my wrist and tie up my hair. I, quietly as possible, storm out of the dorms.
Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed the start of Eddi's story. Please note that I have decided to make the initiates 18 because of future chapters. Please follow, favourite and review, I really appreciate it and it motivates me to carry on writing. I am currently rewriting this as my writing has improved over the past two years and I want to make it better before carrying on.