The blade plunges through so easily, so easily that it reminds me of just how fragile the recipient of the blades body is. Her breath catches in her throat and a repressed whimper of pain escapes her vocal cords seconds later. Blood runs down the sword's hilt, the etchings of it fill with the liquid and shine a crimson red. The sickeningly warm fluid coats my hands and seeps slowly through the gaps between my fingers. Soon enough her body goes limp and, unable to do much else, I collect her in my arms while pulling the sword out. The sun that kindly shines upon me, my beloved Himeko, is dying by my own hand. It felt as though a sword had pierced through my own heart the moment the blade entered Himeko.
Tears begin to sting my eyes as I drop to my knees, still holding my golden-haired love.
"Chi...kane..." the blonde whispers gently.
She places a hand on my cheek and I meet my gaze with hers. Himeko's lavender eyes are softer than they've ever been before, if that were even possible. I'd been exposed to her kind nature my whole life while living in the temple that we called home. I had seen her tender gaze many a time. After thunderstorms when she'd get scared and run into my bed, after the times I'd hold her while she cried, whenever I did something special, whenever I praised her, those soft eyes could always give better proof of her true emotions than any words could. The lavender eyes I see now supply that same gentle gaze, but it's somehow more intense than before, deeper.
She pulls me into a tender embrace and I secure my arms around her a bit tighter. I am afraid to hold her too tight, in fear that the action will advance her imminent death. She must be in such pain right now and probably wants to die, yet I am praying for more time with her. I'm selfish.
"It's fine this way, Chikane." Himeko murmurs, pressing her forehead to mine.
"Himeko..." I respond, my voice thick behind the lump forming in my throat.
"I don't have much time left, so I need to say something to you. Please hear me out."
I nod and she smiles weakly.
"I love you, Chikane, I always have. You're so wonderful, beautiful, smart, and funny. You care for me, protect me, and have always been there for me, thank you for that. I'm sorry if I ever bothered you and for the blunders I may have gotten us into in the past. In the end, it was always fun. I'm sorry for not telling this to you this sooner, I was just afraid that I'd lose you if I told you how I truly felt, so I kept it to myself. But please believe me when I say that I do love you."
My jaw wants to drop, but before that, my eyes overflow with tears that quickly begin to stream down my face.
"Hime...Himeko." I sob quietly.
My hands grab fistfuls of Himeko's robe, and I long to hold her tightly, but I am still afraid of speeding up her death in doing so. I sob her name over and over again, unable to voice out my own feelings toward the one in my arms.
"I love you. I truly, truly do." she hums.
I feel her still warm lips gently press against my cheek and eyes as I continue to sob.
"I... I love you too... I love you so much, Himeko... I truly do..." I manage to choke out between my uncontrollable crying.
Himeko suddenly turns to the side to cough, blood drips from her mouth. I brush some stray locks of hair from her face and she faces me again.
"Could you please... hold me?" she asks.
I carefully tighten my grip around Himeko's weakening body. My fingers softly brush through her honey-colored tresses and I plant a gentle kiss on the top of her head. Himeko's arms tighten around my back and her hands grab small handfuls of my robe. Her body begins to quiver and shake and a new set of tears roll down my face upon the realization that she is truly slipping away.
"I'm sorry, Chikane." she whispers.
"For what? I'm the one who killed you, I should be sorry." I respond.
"It's our duty as Priestesses to sacrifice one another for the sake of Earth. I've killed you before too, Chikane. None of us are at fault for what Fate has determined for us. But I... I..." she breaks off, her hushed voice becoming thick.
I pull away and look into her eyes. Tears flood out of them and she begins to weep.
"I don't want to leave you, Chikane, I don't. I want to stay by your side forever, but I can't and I'm sorry. I hate this cruel duty that Ame no Murakumo has assigned us. I love you. I want to kiss you and hold you and be with you forever. Why can't we just be together? I don't understand at all." she cries with a weakened voice.
"I don't understand either, Himeko. I feel the exact same way as you do. I know I sound selfish, but I don't want you to leave me."
"That's not selfish at all, Chikane. It's the most natural thing in the world, to want to be with the one you love. I-"
Himeko suddenly tenses up and more blood leaks from her mouth as she lets out a pained moan.
"Himeko!" I whimper, panicked.
She soon relaxes again and slumps onto me. I bury my face in her golden hair, and she nestles her head into the crook of my neck.
"Can I ask you for one last thing, Chikane?" she murmurs.
"Anything." I reply.
Himeko's hands push shakily against my shoulders in a feeble attempt to sit upright again, but her strength is quickly waning. I adjust my arms so that she can face me and hold the back of her head with great care. Her pulse is fading underneath my fingertips, but is still barely there. Himeko's eyes are half-lidded and losing their normally vibrant glimmer. Her skin has lost its warm, pink shade. The color that stained Himeko's cheeks when she blushed and the warmth that is like no other is leaving her body slowly, yet all too quickly. Her trembling intensifies and her breathing becomes ragged, strained. There is no worse or more heartbreaking sight than the Himeko I see now. My warm, bright, always lively Himeko is on the brink of death. It's as if the sun itself is burning out, leaving nothing but a cold, dead world behind.
After a few moments of us locked in each other's eyes, Himeko opens her mouth to speak.
"Kiss me." she says frailly, closing her eyes slowly.
It takes me a short moment to fully process Himeko's request. I had yearned to kiss those lips of hers for the longest time, but I would never have wanted to confess or kiss in a situation such as this.
I lean into Himeko's face and kiss her lips with great care and tenderness. Much to my surprise, they are still incredibly warm, as opposed to the rest of her body. Himeko's arms make their way around my waist and clutch onto me. Her mouth twitches beneath mine, and I know that she is trying her best to return the kiss to me, which causes another set of tears to fall down my face.
Our first kiss, and our last kiss, in the very place we met in this life.
I pull away from the kiss slowly and look at Himeko. A feeble smile appears on her face and unconsciously, I too smile. It is that smile that I live for, it's the smile I've always lived for, from the one I live for, Himeko. My only love, my only light, the gentle sun that kindly shines upon me, my beloved Himeko.
"Chikane." she breathes.
"What is it, Himeko?" I murmur in response.
Himeko's hands slip from my waist and fall to her sides, and her head slumps into my collarbone.
"Hi-Hime-Himeko?" I stammer, looking carefully at the golden-haired girl.
Tears threaten to spill from my ducts as I wait for a sign of life.
"N-ne… Himeko... tell me, Himeko… what… what is it?" I stutter, my voice growing higher with each syllable.
Nothing.
My eyes widen in horror. I cannot speak, nor can I think, breathe, or move. All I can do is stare at Himeko's lifeless body in my arms.
A scream rips through my throat when I am finally able to function somewhat again. I cry out her name over and over and over again while more tears pour down my face. I clutch onto Himeko's body tightly, sobbing loudly into her shoulder, praying that this all could be a horrible dream, that Himeko's warm arms would wrap themselves around me and her sweet voice would tell me that everything would be alright. But this is reality, a cruel reality that is far worse than any nightmare I could have ever imagined.
"Why… why?! Why do we have to repeat this cruel cycle?! Why is it that we know of each other's love only at the very end?! Why do we have to kill one another?! WHY, AME NO MURAKUMO?!" I scream in between sobs.
"I JUST WANT TO BE WITH THE ONE I LOVE! HIMEKO AND ONLY HIMEKO! WHY CAN'T WE HAVE A NORMAL LIFE AND BE HAPPY?! WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE A FATE LIKE THIS?! WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG, SO WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!" I shout to the sky.
Silence.
"ANSWER ME!" I cry at the top of my lungs.
The deafening silence continues, broken only by my heavy breathing.
I look to Himeko, her body lying in my arms like an oversized ragdoll. I place my hand on her cooling cheek and softly stroke it with my thumb.
"Himeko, I'm sorry. I wanted to protect you, I wanted to keep you safe, and I couldn't even do that. So for that, I'm sorry." I apologize.
I wipe the tears away on my sleeve and look back to Himeko with a face full of resolve.
"But I promise, I will always care for you, be there for you, and be at your side whenever you need me. Most of all, I will always love you, no matter what happens. No matter how many times we must repeat this painful cycle, we shall always find each other and surely, we will fall in love again. Just be patient, I'll be patient too, but we will meet again. We'll have a happy ending someday. We'll find a way to break this cycle, I'm sure of it. We'll do it together. I promise you, I will do all that I can to find a way so that we can finally have peace, Himeko."
I place a tender kiss on her lips before carefully laying her body on the stone ground.
My hand stays on hers as I pick up the sword resting next to me. The handle is sticky from Himeko's dried blood. My face scrunches and my stomach feels sick as I remember the events that unfolded shortly before this moment. I aim the blade at my chest and look up to the sky again.
"If this makes me a coward, then I don't care. I want to see her again, as soon as I can. I can't live without her. Even if you were to take my memories of her existence away, I would still feel empty inside. This is the fastest way to see her again. I will find a way to break this cycle, Ame no Murakumo. Her and I will be happy someday, I promised her. And now I promise it to you." I declare, a newfound strength in my voice.
I look over to Himeko once more.
"I'll see you soon, Himeko. I love you." I say tenderly as I thrust the blade into my chest.
I pull the sword out and drop it elsewhere as I collapse to the ground next to Himeko. I keep my hand on hers, even as my vision blurs, as the blood leaks out of me, and as the light-headedness quickly sets in. It feels peaceful somehow, as if she and I are taking a nap together like we always would. I let the sleepiness take me as I close my eyes and draw in my last breath.
"Himeko." I breathe out.
Whether it's tomorrow, a year, ten years or even ten thousand years, I promise that we will find each other again. I'm sure of it, we'll just have to wait a while until then. I look forward to seeing you again, my beloved Himeko. I love you.