Chapter 1

Perry the Platypus worked carefully as he cut a hole in the side of Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated using a high-powered laser pointer. Once the hole was cut, Agent P jumped perfectly through it making dignity-filled landing on the floor. Doofenshmirtz slowly looked up from the tea that he was lightly sipping and glanced at Perry.

"Oh, Perry the… the… the… ACHOO!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz sneezed. It was just then Agent P noticed that Dr. D wasn't looking too good. He was relaxing in a comfy chair while drinking hot tea and reading magazines. He also looked abnormally pale, and his nose was chap from blowing it into tissues so many times.

Doofenshmirtz sniffed a few times before continuing. "Sorry Perry the Platypus, I've come down with a horrible cold. Ugh, I feel terrible."

Perry looked at him, unsure what to do. He began to head for the hole he had made in the wall, thinking about exiting before Dr. Doofenshmirtz stopped him.

"You, you know, you don't have to leave if you don't want to. You could, uh, hang out here. There's plenty to do! You could, uh, oh no, that's evil-you wouldn't like that. Or maybe… no, that's evil too. Actually, now that I'm going over it, everything to do here is basically evil. But here, take a seat."

Agent P walked to a chair next to Doofenshmirtz as he waited for him to continue.

"Well since there's nothing here for you to entertain yourself with, I've got a story to tell if you wanna hear it," Heinz offered.

Why not? Perry thought. He nodded his head yes.

"Okay," he began, "I hate to bring this up again, but remember the tape of me from high school? I was, um… skating… in my underwear." Doofenshmirtz was clearly embarrassed by his high school charade, not wanting to go into too much detail.

Agent P nodded his head yes again.

"Well it's kind of weird how that happened. I didn't get the chance to explain it the other day; I was too busy trying to get rid of the tape that I didn't even think about providing an explanation. But surprisingly, I didn't lose a bet like you probably thought I did. Oh no, it was very far away from a bet. In fact, it wasn't even close. I was chasing my dreams, Perry the Platypus. No, not dreams of skating in my underwear, but dreams of being in a band. You see, it all started back on the first day of my senior year in high school…"

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It was the first day of Heinz's senior year; the year that he would finally get a fresh start. He had just moved from Germany to America, and he planned to make a good impression. He would start a band, get a girlfriend, and finally not look like a rejected fool. The young man walked into his school with a feeling of confidence. It felt good-that feeling didn't seem to find Doofenshmirtz much those days.

While he casually strolled to his first class, he made sure his head was up high and a smile was on his face. If Heinz wanted to be confident, he had to look confident.

He got his locker number from his home room teacher and headed off to put his books away. The boy who had a locker to the right of his introduced himself.

"Hey," he began. "You're new here, aren't you?"

Doofenshmirtz turned to face the boy, excited that someone had noticed him. "Yes, I am new. I'm Heinz Doofenshmirtz, nice to meet you."

"Well I'm Matt. If you need anything, just ask."

"Thanks… uh, man," Doofenshmirtz answered, still trying to act cool. He had read up on youth American greetings to make sure he didn't stick out like a sore thumb. Matt was about to head off to class before he stopped himself, he had to ask Heinz one more question.

"Hey, uh, Heinz?" he asked.

"Yeah?"

"I noticed your accent, where ya from?"

"Oh, uh, Germany. I just moved here this year."

"Well, welcome to America!" Matt swung his bag over his shoulder and headed to class.

Good job, Heinz. So far so good… Apparently your 'lingo' is fitting in…

Bbrriinnng! The bell to begin class interrupted Doofenshmirtz's thought.

Well, off ya go, bud. Good luck.

Heinz walked down the hall and entered his home room, Mrs. McKenzie's class. It was just then he realized something. Did I seriously just wish good luck to myself?