Ladies and Gentlemen,
welcome to my contribution to the 'Pick a Pair' Country Song Prompt challenge.
I was assigned the song 'Standing Outside The Fire' by Garth Brooks.
First of all I want to point out that my story is not going to consist of one chapter only. But since everything has to be posted due to August 25 it's won't be that long either.
Secondly - writing this was very hard. I'm usually not listening to Counrty not only because there aren't any good country-musicians but also because their songs are mostly about love and emotion and stuff and that's out of my comfort zone. So I took parts of the song literally, even though they were probably a metaphor.
This story isn't beta-readed. I wasn't sure if it'd be okay to have someone beta it since it's a challenge and maybe each participant is supposed to enter something that's really the own work. Or maybe not. But I wasn't sure.
If you happen to stumble upon a mistake - tell me.
I hope you like it though and am grateful for every review you may or may not leave.
I don't own Criminal Minds or the song Standing Outside The Fire. No copyright infringements intended!
We call them cool
Those hearts that have no scars to show
The ones that never do let go
And risk the tables being turned.
Maybe she once had been beautiful.
Maybe she had had hair and maybe her hair had been neat and silky.
Maybe her skin had been smooth and clear.
Maybe she had had both her eyes.
Maybe she hadn't always been a broken person.
As Jennifer Jareau took the witness stand, put her shaking hand on the leater-claded Bible, that had no longer a meaning to her, and sweared the oath without even hearing the words, she felt the glances of the jurors, the judge and the audience lean on her. Not on her as a person, of course. She, being a walking freak show ever since the day, attracted everyvbody's attention frequently but the only thing anybody ever was interested in was her face. She was dismissed as beside the point while her flesh was the only thing that seemed to matter. And after all she couldn't even blame the gazers for the simple reason that she didn't feel as if there was a noteworthy amount of life left inside her. And a funny looking empty piece of meat was just that and no more.
Why aren't you wearing a rug, if I'm allowed to ask?
At least you can save money on buying Halloween constumes.
Wasn't your son ever afraid of his mommy?
Please don't take this down the wrong pipe now, but, honey, I think I should move out. You understand what I mean, don't you? It's just... I don't see another way.
Please don't hurt me! Here's my wallet, take from it whatever you need!
Not many of my patients are as lucky as you are. You can thank God for watching over you.
"Miss Jareau? Miss Jareau, are you even listening?"
She jumped slightly and raised her head a little. The prosecuter gave her a penetrating look and made a step towards the stand. JJ was his best witness. She hadn't been as cooperative as he would have liked and appeared to be emotionally stable by now - which made it a little more fiddly to get everybody to feel the real, deep sympathy for her that he had aimed at. On the other hand he was convinced that a single look at her should do the trick. Her words would be useful, sure, but what really counted was what she looked like.
And her appearance was one of horrible perfection.
"Sorry", JJ mumbled and tried to look him in the eyes. It was one of the many things she found were difficult. Having only one functioning eye remained she couldn't focus on the two eyes of her opponent at the same time. Therefore she had tried to focus on the nasal bone but talking to others without even looking at them just wasn't the same. Not that she had really been talking to anyone recently, though.
"I was asking you what job you are currently perfprming", the prosecuter repeated.
She coughed shortly before she forced herself to say the words that were harder for her to speak than anything. "I... am currenty unemployed."
Can. You. Hear. Me. Alright? I. Am ...
We apprechiate your offer, Miss Jareau, but we already have a lot of moms that help at the school festival. And... gosh, how do I put this? Some of the kids are... afraid. I am sorry. Honestly.
Can I help you cross the street, Ma'am?
Mommy, mommy - look! Look at that woman over there! Oh no, not she's gone. You missed her, mommy, she was right there!
You are making wonderful progress. Just hang in there for another year and you'll see everything's gonna be fine. The worst is over now. Dang, I wish I had your luck when it comes to stocks.
"You, a woman with a storybook career, a unique and fairly impressive amount of experience and the best reputations I've seen in a long time... is unemployed. How is that possible, Miss Jareau?"
Her mouth turned dry. "I'm certified as unfit for any kind of work."
"Who came to such a dramatic conclusion?"
"Public health officer Doctor Jeremiah Penalton was the one to carry out the examination."
"Why exactly are you unemployable?"
Maybe Henry should stay with me for a while. This isn't about custody, I promise. But you're busy with rehab and I think that right now I can take care of him better than you.
JJ bit back her tears. Crying wasn't emberassing to her any longer for it seemed to be impossible to hurt her pride any worse. But it was painful and she was fed up to the back teeth with going through any more ache. Being forced to make a statement in front of all these people was bad enough. And, to make matters worse, he was there too.
"I lost one eye and have a vision of only 50 percent on the other one. I'm not qualified to handle a gun. Heck, I don't even have a license any more. After the... the incendiary I battled infections of all kind and had to take strong medication. My immune system is still damaged and prospectively I'll have to take some meds for the rest of my life." She swallowed hard and braced herself to say the worst part of this. "And you might be able to tell that I don't cut a good figure to represent the FBI in front of the media. I'm not made for being part of a society."
Would I be brave enough to live if something like that happened to me?
Will she ever recover from the emotional harm?
Was she happy before this happened?
Has she been happy ever since?
The bitterness of her words seemed to suffuse the courtroom for a long moment.
"Miss Jareau, what does your daily routine look like?"
"I am currently doing all sorts of rehab. I'm seeing specialists all over the country and I've been at a clinical centre in Canada, too. A few weeks ago I started spending an hour each day, except when something... ehm, happens, at my psychotherapist. I suffered a couple of panic attacs and I've been diagnosed with depression and posttraumatic stress disorder."
"What about your family?"
"My former husband, Detective William LaMontagne, moved out half a year ago. We officially divorced last month. My son Henry lives with him, even though we still both have custody, because... well, because we both considered it better to protect Henry from too much more stress and suffering. It's been a hard time for him, too."
"Why did you and your ex-husband divorce?"
JJ frowned and, even though she had done so due to the unwelcomed topic, smiled inconspicuously. The muscle damage had been grave and frowning was one of her newer achievements. "There were many factors and not all of them occured after the incident."
"Would you name some of the reasons the two of you had?", the prosecutor pushed. She, as well as many others, had been through a lot but, even though it wasn't a comfortable process, he would make sure that the man who did this would die for what he had done. The lethat injection would be less than what he deserved though.
"Things were rather difficult. Neither of us knew what to do, what to treat each other like. I couldn't just move on because the incident cost one of my friend's life and I missed, and still do so, him terribly much. When I tried to talk to Will about what had happened other hings were revealed too, that didn't make it easier. And I had already been so close to death that I... I thought about... I tried to-" Her voice broke and JJ gave up trying to explain what she had felt like.
"How is your son doing?"
Excuse me, can you help m- oh my gosh, what the hell happened to you?
My mom can make the coolest faces now!
You need to deliver your license. We can't let you participate in traffic like that.
I'm sorry to tell you that, Ma'am... but some of the customers seem to be uncomfortable so would you just... not to be inpolite but... you know, it's a business..?
"Better than expected. He adjusted to... what I am like quickly. But there are difficult moments."
"Can you discribe such a moment to us?"
"He sometimes stays at my house for the weekend. And once I read to him from a book until he fell asleep. Before I left the room I wanted to... I only wanted to kiss his forehead, like I've done many times. But he woke up again and started screaming because it was darkish and he saw... it's hard."
"What about your parents? From what I read I think they still live in Pennsylvania. While this is quite some distance it's not an obstacle to communication. May I ask how they are doing?"
"Objection!", the defender finally complained, raising JJ's hope all at once, "I don't see how her parent's are relevant for this case."
"I only want to underline that Miss Jareau suffers emotionally even worse than physically. Which is important for one of the charges is grievous bodily harm."
The judge shook is head and could have delivered a blow to her just as well. "Overruled."
JJ cursed inwardly. She didn't care what exactly he was convicted for. He had to die and she wanted to watch. It was just that easy.
"My parents don't know what happened. I made up excuses to not meet them around Christmas and only talked to them on the phone. I don't now what to tell them. Or how to. They already lost a daughter and knowing... I just don't know."
Oh my gosh, Jayje, we were so worried about you!
May he rest in peace. I miss him so much.
We'll be there for you. Don't ever forget about that. Whenever you need us we'll be right there and if you think there isn't anybody left... remember us, JJ, alright. Will you do that?
Come on, lets get in there. It's a fancy restaurant and we're fancy and able to pay. Really. There's nothing wrong with the both of us. You like to eat there and so do I. They don't need to like us.
The prosecuter licked his lips in anticipation. JJ knew her answers had been to simple, to brief. He had suggested that she cried and added some details to her statement. But even though she would have rather died than to do so, his strategy had worked out just perfect. "Now, Miss Jareau - would you please tell us what exactly happened to you that turned your life upside down?"
"Yes", JJ said, "this would be October 25, 2010. It was a monday and I arrived early in the morning..."
I won't go.
I love you.
I won't let you die.