Truth Behind Truths

DISCLAIMER: Don't own FMA, blah, blah, don't sue me. This fanfiction came about largely due to the fact that I have unfortunately acquired a rather large soft spot for Lust and Envy.

I've heard the things that people say about her.

She's so cold. Nothing concerns her, she cares for nothing but getting what she wants. So callous--doesn't she ever think about the human lives that will be sacrificed for her wish? So cruel--manipulating "innocent" alchemists into getting involved with us... evil, slutty, after all, she is named for the sin... on and on and on.

It irritates me to hear things like that. Anyone who describes her like that obviously doesn't know her. And I mean, really know her... know her like I do.

Lust is the entire reason we've come so far along the road to our deepest desires. Someone "cold", who didn't care about anything but herself, "cruel", or "callous" couldn't have led us like she has.

Maybe she seems like that to other people, but really... she never has to me.

But then, other people aren't likely to get close to homunculi like us once they find out what we are. Either they run, or try to eradicate us--and so, we have to destroy them. After all, we're not human. We're just good fakes, created in alchemic process that's supposed to be so insanely difficult that it can't really be done successfully. Other people won't stick around long enough to see what Lust is really like.

I know better, seeing as I've known her for so long myself.

You could see it, if you looked--you could see it in her long, quiet talks with Sloth whenever the two of them manage to meet, speaking softly so no one else can listen. You could see it in the serious, solemn way they discuss their progress.

You could see it in the way she gently chastises Gluttony; the somewhat childish little man is forever wanting to do things that would get us in a lot of trouble or expose our secret to the masses (usually having to do with his wanting to eat something, or someone, that he shouldn't). I lose my temper and yell, but she just gently scolds and provides Gluttony with some alternative that almost always manages to satisfy him (for the time being). And when it happens over and over again, Lust remains as patient as she was the first time.

You could especially see it on nights like tonight, when she sits beside me in our rented room at the local hotel. Gluttony is asleep in the corner, snoring lightly and drooling, probably dreaming about some new delicacy he can't wait to get his teeth into. (Out of all of us so-called Sins, Gluttony's name is probably the most fitting. Jeez, he's such a pig.) I'm still awake, but not for very long. I'm tired enough that I've dropped my pretenses; abandoned my usual cheeky grin and loud, confident manner. It's only these times, so late at night, when Lust is beside me, when I let my vulnerable side show.

Turned towards me, she leans slightly back, gently running her hand over and through my long, wiry, unruly black hair. Her touch is so soothing... but her words even more so. My eyelids already feel so heavy, but I want to hear her finish before I actually go to sleep.

"It won't be long now, Envy. Just a little bit longer, and the Philosopher's Stone will be in the hands of the alchemist who can grant our wish. Soon you and I will become human."

She says the same thing every night we sit up together, but I never get tired of hearing it. Even after so long, hope never manages to die completely in me... no matter how many disappointments the four of us suffer in our quest.

"You can stop hating the humans once you and they are the same. We won't have to hide what we are from the world anymore." My lazy, sleepy eyes settle on the alchemic mark right above her breasts... the picture of the snake that eats its own tail. "We won't be forced to carry this stigma anymore. We'll be able to live the ordinary lives that were denied us by the alchemists who made us what we are."

"N Gluttony c'n stop eating people," I mumble into the sheets.

"Yes." She's smiling slightly, still stroking my hair. Her always-husky voice is as soft and gentle as the touch of her hand. "It won't be long now. It looks as though Edward Elric will be able to grant our wish, with a little persuasion."

I can't help but make a face. "The Fullmetal Pipsqueak..."

"If he has the power, don't complain." Lust sounds amused, but I know she understands.

If she could use alchemy, Lust would have already created a Philosopher's Stone, and she, Gluttony, Sloth, and me would already be human. However, alchemic creations like us homunculi can't use alchemy ourselves... that's why we have to convince human alchemists to do the work for us. And it's very annoying to have to do that. Either the alchemists we approach go insane halfway through the research, or they get cold feet when they learn that human lives are they key ingredient to a Philosopher's Stone. It makes sense, really... you have to reap life to sow it, after all, and break the equivalent-exchange laws for as long as it takes. But all the really good alchemists seem to have morality issues about it, like Marcoh. They refuse to do it.

I guess that's part of the reason why people think Lust is so bad--that she doesn't care about the humans who would die to give us human bodies. I understand when they think I'm bad... I hate humans because they have what I can't, and would gladly sacrifice some to get what I want. To Lust, they're simply objects: She doesn't know them, or care about them. If she's going to feel sorry about having to kill them, it'll be after she achieves the objective.

That's how much she cares about us.

"Mmmehh." I close my eyes and shift a little to avoid digging my nails into my left thigh, right where my own alchemic brand is inscribed. Lust doesn't like it when I do that.

"Go to sleep." The mattress squeaks as she bends down to kiss my forehead; I sigh and snuggle into the sheets as she gets up to do whatever she does when she's not babysitting me or Gluttony.

To humans, she's a monster.

To me, she's my sister.

And unless people've seen that side of her, they have no right to judge her.

-owari-