Nothing As It Seems

by RockyD

Spike is scorned after Buffy's rejection and the failure his BuffyBot turned out to be. Spying on a moment of friendliness between Buffy and Xander, Spike convinces himself that its Xander that's standing in the way of his path to Buffy's heart.

1. Almost Happy

"Nothing As It Seems"
Episode: #2 - "Almost Happy"

Author: RockyD
E-mail: dollen@frontiernet.net
Category: A/X, B/X and delusional B/S
Rating: PG-14 (nothing worse than the show)
Summary: Spike is scorned after Buffy's rejection and the failure his BuffyBot turned out to be. Spying on a moment of friendliness between Buffy and Xander, Spike convinces himself that its Xander that's standing in the way of his path to Buffy's heart. He sets out to remove Xander as an obstacle by any means necessary.
Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, they belong to Joss
Whedon and Co. The only thing I lay claim to is the excruciating torture I put them through... and I'm sure they love me for it.
Author's Note: When plot bunnies attack. Watching the rerun of "Intervention" last week, and got a twisted little idea about how to use something. Don't want to give too much away. Hopefully this'll tide over the 3 or 4 fans I have that are waiting on pins and needles for the rest of Find Your Way Home.
Author's Note #2: For reference, the series title (which is still up in the air) is a song by Garbage. The episode title is a song by K's Choice. Both equally good songs. *salute* That is all.
Feedback: YES! I desperately need it, like an addiction. I haven't had it in ages. It would be appreciated.

*FADE TO: The Magic Box, late night. Research night... again.*

Giles looked at Spike, "Spike, could you go and get that stack of new tomes in the basement?"

Spike made a mocking face and salute, "Yessir." He headed down the stairs grumpily.

"I swear, any minute now all this reading is gonna drive me batty... the books will jump up and start flapping like butterflies, and we'll all have to run in terror. Anybody else getting that vibe?"

"Xander, we need to be serious." Buffy scolded, despite the image playing in her mind.

He nodded, "I understand that, Buff. But seriousness isn't going to do us a whole lot of good if we're passed out, face down on this here table. I say we adjourn for the night and come back first thing in the morning. We'd all focus a lot better on a full night sleep."

Giles let out a yawn, and nodded acceptance, "I do believe Xander has a good idea. We may overlook something important in our current states. It would be in our best interests to break for the night." Xander looked at him with a childish smile. He knew just how to break the tension in any situation. Giles saw the look, and rolled his eyes, "Alright, I'll say it. Heaven above forgive me, but... Quittin' time."

They all laughed at once, "See Giles? I told you it'd pay off." He packed up his books and started putting them away. The others did the same. Buffy came nearby, to put away a few books of lore. She tried unsuccessfully to place a book on the highest part of the bookshelf. When she repeatedly failed, she began reaching for a foot stool. Xander saw this, and took a big hopping step from where he was to Buffy's side.

"Let me help with that, m'lady." He used his slight advantage in height to put the book away. She smiles thankfully and puts the rest of her books away. Xander grabbed his satchel and threw it over his shoulder, "Well, I better get moving... Anya is watching over Dawn with Tara... lord knows what crazy things she'll get those them to do. You know how impressionable Anya is." Xander smirked.

"Wait up, Xander. I might as well come along to check up on Dawn." He nodded and held the door open for her. Buffy turned back for one moment, "Oh, Giles, I'll be in a little late for training... have to pick up Dawn from sleeping over at Xander's on my way over." He nodded, "And Willow, we'll be sure to send Tara home as soon as we get there." She turned and followed Xander out of the shop.

In the door of the training room, Spike stood, leaning against the frame. He's staring at the front door as if to burn a hole through it with his gaze. He's playing the previous scene over and over in his mind. Buffy putting away books, Xander was rushing to help her. A scowl slowly formed on his features, almost giving him a demonic look in his human features. He slams his fist into the wall before rushing forward to grab his coat and head out the door as well.

*CUT TO: Buffy and Xander walking home. They're making small talk.*

"And so Anya walked *right* into the window. She didn't remember she'd closed it, y'see, and so *wham*. I spent the whole rest of the day trying to calm her down because she thought some magician had put up a force field. Ah, the glory days of Anya's humanity." He chuckled.

Buffy giggled in chorus, "Your ex-demon girlfriend and her run in with the plate glass. Your life's full of madcap hilarity, Xand."

"Army of Darkness." Xander blurted out.

"What are you talking about?" Buffy looked confused.

"My life is like the Evil Dead movie series. I'm Bruce Campbell, I've got a shotgun and a chainsaw for an arm. I'm constantly being upended by hordes of evil creatures, and all my attempts to return to normalcy are met with minor screw ups that throw me completely off course."

Buffy simply nodded, not really understanding, "So you're comparing your life to the plot of a movie."

"Of course. Everybody's life is like the plot of a movie at some point in time. Mine just happens to be the Evil Dead series. Of all the luck."

Buffy patted him on the back, and comfortingly said, "Xander, have you ever considered therapy?"

"Laugh now, Buffster..." He sighed, "God, why can't I ever have a Brewster's Millions day? I think I deserve that, don't I?"

Buffy couldn't help but laugh, "Basing the worth of your life against cheesy movies? Xander, how do you do it?"

He shrugged, a playful grin on his face, "I look at you, and I see Dirty Dancing."

Buffy played along, "What about me screams 'Dirty Dancing.'"

He smiled, "Did I say anything about screaming? It's just... a wide-eyed girl, facing a harsh reality before she's ready. Confronting it head on, and growing into a fine young woman before her family's eyes. Everything about you says 'Dirty Dancing,' Buffy."

Buffy remained silent after that. Her face showed she was being thoughtful. She suddenly spoke softly, "An Officer and A Gentleman."

"Huh?" He thought, "How am I 'An Officer and A Gentleman?' Am I a brat who joins the navy and has to deal with training with Louis Gossett Jr.?"

She shook her head, "No. You're headstrong and determined. You go the Xander way. You're responsible when it comes down to it. And you'd probably look good in a uniform." It was her turn to smirk, and he began to blush.

They happened upon the front door to Xander's apartment complex, and exchanged a nervous chuckle, "I suppose we should head in and get a rope on our girls." Xander suggested, opening the front door for her. She simply nodded in reply.

As the door slowly swung closed, Spike stepped past the side of the building. He frowned deeply, and stomped off back the direction they came.

*CUT TO: Xander's apartment. The front door swings open, and Buffy follows Xander in.*

"Hey hey, how are my three favorite ladies?" Xander asked brightly.

Dawn rolled her eyes, "You always say that, Xander." She paused, suddenly curious, "What about Buffy?"

Xander looked and did a quick recount, noting that there were four girls in his apartment. He had to cover quickly, "Uh, I was counting her." He looked at Tara, "I think you're great and all, Tar, but it's Willow's department when it comes to the lovin'." She smirked lightly.

Anya frowned, "Xander, must you always say that 'favorite ladies' thing?" She moped, "You're only supposed to have one."

Xander walked over to her, lifting her chin and giving her a kiss, "You know I only have one. It's you and only you." A small smile came to her lips and she relaxed. The scene made everyone else in the room uncomfortable except for Tara, who observed the reactions of both Dawn and Buffy with interest.

Xander moved so Anya was at his side, their arms around each other, "Tar, I promised Wills I'd send you home right away, so you can't make me a promise breaker." Xander said childishly, grinning widely.

Dawn looked surprised, "Wait... Tara isn't staying over? But I thought we were going to have a, y'know, slumber party."

Tara sympathized and gave Dawn a hug, "I'd love to, sweetie, but Willow and I have to go to some job interviews tomorrow, and have to be up early."

Dawn was mortified at the thought of spending the night alone with just Anya and Xander. Xander she didn't mind at all, cause she still had a major crush on him. Anya, on the other hand, she couldn't stand, and didn't understand how Xander did either. She looked to her sister desperately, either to ask to go home, or beg her to stay too. She decided on the latter, "Buffy... could you stay too? I don't want to be lonely." She gave her best puppy dog eyes.

Buffy wasn't sure. She wanted to be there for her sister, with everything that had happened in the past year. She also didn't know if she would withstand more of the Anya and Xander mush. She was proud of how strong their love seemed to be, and wish them the best... but Anya's glaring flaws and stagnant personal growth kept slapping her in the face. Xander was happy though, and she supposed that was all that mattered.

She was startled as Dawn waved her hand in front of her face and questioned her again. She looked to Xander, "Xand?"

Almost automatically, Xander smiled and said, "Sure, Buff. There's plenty of room at the Hotel Xander." Buffy couldn't help but notice the daggers Anya was staring him while Xander wasn't looking. Looking at her(Buffy), more accurately. She wasn't sure what to make of that. She mentally shrugged and turned back to her sister, "Sure, I can stay here with you, Dawn." Dawn did a little celebration bounce, "But," Buffy halted, "You have to pay for the pizza." Dawn frowned momentarily, but nodded.

Xander had a small smile on his face. He was happy to see the sisters getting along well in the hard times. He hugged Anya tighter too him and declared, "We can set up some sleeping quarters for the both of you... maybe Tara would appreciate an escort out there in the dark, dark night?" Tara smiled shyly and nodded, "We'll have the pizza ordered and the sleeping bags set by the time you get back. The usual toppings, right?"

His smile was infectious, "You know it." She hugged Dawn and bid them goodbye, "I'll be back." Tara followed her out the door.

*CUT TO: A darkened bedroom. An indistinguishable young man is snoring quite loudly.*

A sudden banging on his window startles him out of his slumber. He stumbled disoriented to the window and tried to see who it was. He looked surprised when he saw it was Spike looking annoyed. He shook his head and started heading back to bed, but Spike hit his window again.

He cautiously opened the window and stuck his head out, "What do you want? I told you I wasn't in the robot business anymore. I meant it, now go away."

"You're out of the robot business when I say you are." The boy continued walking away, "Get back here, boy, or I'll bang on your window every night for the rest of your bloody life." The boy grumbled but grabbed some materials and climbed out the window to follow him.

*CUT TO: Spike's crypt. He's prodding (without actually touching) Warren in front of him with a make-shift spear.*

The young man dropped his bag on the floor and turned around. Spike slammed the crypt door shut and made sure it was secure, before putting his spear down.
Warren crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked annoyed, "Whatever you want, I won't do it. I'm not going to make you another robot."

Spike walked over to his trap door, leading to his daytime exit, and flipped the door open, "I don't want you to build me another sodding robot." He leaned down into the hole, seeming to grab at something. Warren saw his distraction and started making towards the exit. As if he saw this, Spike belted out, "Won't do a bit of good, the crypt door is sealed tight."

Warren stopped in his tracks and cursed to himself. Spike pulled himself back out of the hole, with the end of a rope in his hand. He swung the rope around a nearby pillar, and used it as leverage to winch up an item from down below.

The item, covered in a drape, slowly made its way up as Spike pulled it. It finally came to rest on the floor, causing Spike to let go of the rope and prop it upright.

In one, perhaps anticlimactic action, Spike pulled the drape off to reveal the BuffyBot.

Warren looked semi-surprised, "I thought you said this was destroyed?"

Spike glared, "Well, mate, that's what I thought. Found out the bloody goof troop was just hiding it."

Warren went back to being annoyed, "What do you want me to do?"

Spike threw his arm around the bot's shoulders and tried to look non-chalant, "I want you to fix her." Warren looked about to speak, "Tut, tut... I want you to fix her, and then I want you to do a little reprogramming."

Warren paled, "You don't want me to make her kill people, do you?"

Spike shook his head, then stopped and thought about it for a second. He gave it serious thought, before shaking his head again, "No... just want to improve her for extracurricular use."

Warren looked down and blushed, "I, uh, I'm not sure I can do any more improving there..."

Spike rolled his eyes, "Not like that. Americans. I've got a little plan for her, and I want to... round out her programming so she isn't so damned spotty in the 'Buffy' department. The original was a sodding Barbie."

"What kind of things do you want changed?"

Spike handed him a notebook, with a bunch of scribbly writing in it. Spike resumed his stern look, "You're working on that in here until it's done. I'll bring you food and whatever else you want. But I expect a bloody masterpiece, understand?"

Warren nodded. Spike picked up one last item, a picture that can't quite be made out from a distance. He handed it to Warren, who was puzzled, "Who is this?"
Spike sneered as he answered, "The enemy."