A/N: This story is a result of some very vicious plot bunnies, who refused to rest until I started writing despite the fact that I'm working on another story. Because of that I can't promise how often I'll update but I WILL finish this story no matter how long it takes. If you're confused at first don't worry, you're supposed to be.

Disclaimer: Don't own them...shutters to think of the plot bunny attacks that would occur if I did.

Red Hot Guilt

She hurried down the dock, as fast as she could without making too much noise, the others only steps behind her. All had their guns drawn, pointing down and away. They were nearing the edge of the wharf when voices could be heard from just beyond the next group of shipping crates; she quickly crouched down behind the nearest one.

Motioning for the others to remain hidden she slowly peered over the top of the crate. In the dim light of the nearest warehouse lamp she could see two men. The man nearest her was kneeling on the ground, his hands handcuffed behind his back. The other was standing in front of the kneeling man near the edge of the dock.

She couldn't see the second man's hands, but she knew he must have some kind of weapon. She moved slightly and as she did the light flickered off something metal in the second man's hands. She again motioned to the others and they spread out to either side of her. She gave them a few moments to get into position and as one they moved from concealment, gun's drawn.

As she stood the second man's head turned toward her and she was able to see something in his eyes. Without warning there was a flash of light and the sound of a gun firing. Her own reaction was instantaneous.

The second man jerked back as her bullet hit him. She stood frozen as he stumbled over the edge of the dock. The splash spurred her into action. She raced to the edge of the dock but all she could see was the blackness of the water stretching out before her.

Teresa Lisbon, senior agent of the California Bureau of Investigation Serious crimes unit, sat straight up in bed breathing heavily. She could feel a cold sweat covering her body causing her pajamas to cling to every inch of her and drenching her bed sheets.

A dream, it had just been a horrible nightmare. When she got into work in a few hours she would find everything the way it was supposed to be with everyone where they were supposed to be. At least that's what she tried to tell herself. Unfortunately, the moral's that made her a tough but fair by the book cop also prevented her from lying even to herself. Besides even if she could have tricked her mind, she could never fool her heart.

In her heart she knew the truth, and the truth was that she had killed a man she had once considered her friend. One of the few people she had trusted since her mother died. She had been told so many times that it wasn't her fault, that she had been doing her job, what she had been trained to do, but it was again a lie that she knew her heart would never believe.

In fact, people telling her that had only made the feelings worse. What was her job doing to her if it trained her to shoot to kill a friend regardless of what that friend had been doing? It was that thought that had plagued her night and day ever since that night.

A loud beeping interrupted her thoughts, bringing her back to the present. Not that the present was much better than her dreams. She reached over silencing her alarm clock before peeling back her soiled sheets. She would have to set aside a time to wash her dirty sheets again; of her ten sets only one was still clean and she would need that for that night.

Several minutes later Lisbon stood in her shower, eyes closed as the hot water rained down around her. She stood there, forcing her body to allow the steaming water to relax her tense muscles and not dwell on the dream. She stood there until the water turned luke-warm and eventually cold, but the uneasy guilt remained.

Stepping out of the shower and into the cold bathroom she quickly wrapped herself in a towel, wondering why it didn't work. Of all the things she had tried in the last year she had found only that ritual was able to calm her down enough to get her through the day.

She paused as that last thought registered and groaned loudly. She couldn't believe that she had actually forgotten it for any length of time; today was the day that marked the one year anniversary of that dreadful night. Of course she wouldn't be able to push aside her guilt today; today it would burn hotter than it fully registered exactly what she had done.

As she continued to get ready she was constantly cursing herself for her weakness. What was done was done and there was nothing to be accomplished by dwelling on it. But he had been her friend, her best friend even, and she had killed him. That wasn't something you just 'got' over.

Thoughts of her friend continued to roll around in her mind as she finished getting ready. Eventually she sighed and took one last look in the mirror. She was dressed in the outfit he had liked best, black pants and jacket with a light blue blouse and her standard gold cross necklace, her hair left hanging. She wanted to look her best for him even if he wasn't around to see it.

The day itself seemed to reflect her dark mood, the black storm clouds above her sending their fury down in sheets of water. Lightning could bee seen in the distance brining the promise of even worse weather to come.

The drive to CBI headquarters seemed to take forever, yet all too soon Lisbon was in the elevator going up to her floor. She could feel the tension as soon as the doors opened. At first she thought it was just tension created from her teams feelings of guilt and grief, but one look inside the unit and she knew that wasn't the case. They were too still, too straight as the sat at their desk. It wasn't hard to figure out why.

"What do you think you're doing?" The man laying on the worn, brown, leather sofa in the corner as if he owned the place must have been very brave or very stupid as he didn't cower in the face of Lisbon's anger.

Instead he sat up slowly and allowed a grin to stretch across his face. He looked up at her, his eyes dancing with mischief and his voice practically oozing with charm as he stuck his hand out. "Senior Agent Lisbon I presume. It's an honor to meet you, I'm…"

Before he could finish another voice rang out from the hallway, "Lisbon, I need to talk to you."

Giving the still smiling man one last glare, Lisbon turned around and walked over to where her boss was waiting for her.

She didn't bother to wait for Minelli to explain or to hide her annoyance. "Sir, who is that man and what is he doing in my unit?"

Minelli frowned at her. "I don't appreciate that tone Agent Lisbon, but considering the circumstances I'll ignore it today. That man is in your unit because I ordered him to be.

"He's your team's new consultant."