Petunia does not like being left alone with her thoughts. They hurt her, more often than not, and then she wonders if it is because she has done so much to be ashamed of. Then, she smiles, a little sadly.
She asks herself sometimes, how things could have been different. What if she had not been so jealous of Lily, but instead had been happy for her? What if she had married a man who would not take an instant, baseless dislike to her nephew? Could she, then, have been a better person? Would she have had fewer things to repent for? Would her nephew be writing to her now, instead of prefering to ignore her existence? Would her now-estranged son think of her as a good person, instead of looking at her with disgust, ever since he realised the cruelty of everything she had done to Harry?
She does not voice her thoughts to Vernon, of course. She could never dare. She has already apologised to both Harry and Dudley, but she knows it cannot possibly repair what she did.
Sometimes she closes her eyes and imagines it. A world where Lily is alive, and they visit every weekend, just like a normal family. A world where she is allowed to meet her great-niece and great-nephews. A world where her husband and son smile when they see her. A world where she is happy.
This, she tells herself, is what happens she lets herself get carried away. And so she sighs quietly, puts away her thoughts into the far corner of her mind, and leaves them behind.
Notes: For the Leonardo Da Vinci Event on The Golden Snitch. Prompt: Guilt (theme)
Also for the Through the Universe Challenge at TGS. Prompt: estranged