A/N: For some reason Fanfiction is messing with the summary thing for new stories. Here is the summary :)
A 5 and 1 fic. Five times Sango hides it all inside and the one time she lets it out. Pretty angsty and I'm not sure where it would fit on the anime timeline (if at all). Rated M for swearing and sexual content. Please be kind :)
1. Keeping Watch at Sunrise.
He didn't often wake early but for some reason Shippo found himself staring at the ceiling of the small hut in the dim grey light before dawn. Huffing a small sigh of dissatisfaction at how awake he was feeling the kitsune sat up and scrubbed his small hands all over his face to wipe away the sleepy. Glancing around at the sprawled sleeping figures of his friends around him Shippo briefly considered sharing the joys of wakefulness around but then he noticed that there was an empty sleeping place and curiosity drove all thoughts of pranks from his head.
Stealthily Shippo slipped out of the modest hut that the group had been graciously allowed to sleep in when they reached the village and he looked around inquisitively. It had been strange to see Sango's sleeping place empty as the slayer usually spent her mornings polishing and maintaining her weapons before they all headed out. Sniffing the air Shippo caught a whiff of Sango's scent and taking care to stay hidden the young fox grinned and started to stalk his friend.
Not even out of sight of the village Shippo realized that his little hunt was over when he saw Sango seated motionless on a small hill facing the sunrise. Again the idea of bursting out and scaring his friend flitted across Shippo's mind but though he was young he was mature enough to sense the melancholy aura that surrounded the woman and instead he hesitantly walked towards her and sat down beside her. Putting on a winning smile he piped up, 'Hey Sango, didn't ya like Miroku's snoring? Sunrise is really pretty huh?'
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Sango hadn't heard Shippo until he had plopped down beside her on the grass and she bit her lips to stifle a curse at her lack of awareness. She didn't usually feel smothered by the constant closeness of the group but this particular morning she had good reason to want to be alone. Forcing herself to focus on the kit next to her Sango stretched her lips in what she hoped was a smile and replied quietly, 'I couldn't sleep Shippo and I realized it had been some time since I'd seen a sunrise, what with all the sleeping inside we've been doing. It is beautiful isn't it?'
Even as the words left her lips Sango could tell that Shippo had picked up that there was something strange about her mood. Before she could gather her thoughts enough to amend her response Sango found Shippo perching on her shoulder and staring into her face. Deep brown eyes widened at the small fox's closeness and he said questioningly, 'Are you okay Sango? You seem weird and you smell like something's wrong.'
Speechless for a moment that she was so transparent Sango lifted Shippo off her shoulder and placed him on the ground with a soft pat on the head. A flurry of emotions raced through the demon slayer's mind but she made sure nothing showed on her face. Injecting her voice with comforting sincerity Sango said, 'It's okay Shippo, I'm just impatient to find Naraku and stop him hurting more people. Every time we stop I feel like we should still be moving, still searching. Do you understand little one?'
When Shippo brightened and nodded Sango tried another smile and lightened her tone, 'Now you, why don't you go back to the others and see if you can wake up Inuyasha? Once he's awake he'll insist that we have breakfast and get started… You know what? I'll even give you a treat if you annoy him enough to get Kagome to sit him.'
Shippo let out an evil giggle and shot away back to the village leaving Sango alone again. A small sigh escaped the woman's lips and her mind drifted back to her interrupted thoughts, dark memories to the background of the beautiful sunrise. No one in the group knew, and she was not about to tell them, that it was now one year since the brutal slaying of Sango's village and the loss of her brother.
For a long moment Sango held in her head the faces of all the people she had loved and lost at the hands of Naraku. The sun painted the dawn sky rose-pink and gold and staring at the exquisite sight Sango renewed her vow of vengeance against the evil hanyou that had ripped her life apart. Jerked out of her ruminations by the sweet sounds of Inuyasha being dragged into consciousness Sango took one last look at the sunrise and schooled her face into the usual mask she wore. Rising smoothly to her feet the slayer walked slowly back to the village, feelings and thoughts safely bottled up inside.
2. I Don't Want to be Jealous.
Again. They were doing it again. Sango rolled onto her side with her back to the room and stuffed her fingers in her ears. It didn't make much difference though, Kagome's soft moans and Inuyasha's gentle growls were still audible. Unable to even leave the room lest they know she is awake Sango could only grit her teeth and try to put her mind elsewhere. Unfortunately elsewhere is not the happiest place to be either.
She wants him but she can't have him. They walk next to each other but he feels so far away, on the other side of a gulf that she can't bridge. For all his flirtatious ways and flippant attitude she knows deep in her heart that she isn't good enough for him so she holds him at arm's length. Even during the times his hands have grazed over her body it has seemed like force of habit rather than desire or genuine want.
She isn't a woman that men want, no, she is someone they are scared of. Someone they resent asking for help because they are men and she is a mere female. Listening to the muted groans of passion across the room only remind her of all that she is not and all that she will never have. Deep within her she knows that she will never be beautiful or feminine enough to appeal and though her exterior shows nothing, underneath it cuts her deeply.
There was silence, they had finished assaulting Sango's ears so she rolled out of bed with a murmur that she is going for a walk. Ignoring a furious whisper from Kagome to Inuyasha that they weren't quiet enough Sango stepped outside and strode off into the woods. She didn't notice that watching her go was a narrowed pair of thoughtful indigo eyes. In fact, so single minded was the slayer in getting away from camp that she failed to notice the man walking silently next to her until he grew tired of waiting for her to become aware of him and put his hand on her arm.
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In retrospect Miroku regretted his choice to touch Sango when she clearly wasn't aware of his presence. The second his fingers ghosted over her shoulder the demon slayer moved so fast that she blurred and Miroku found himself pinned face-first against a tree with his hand twisted between his shoulder blades. The shock left him breathless for a second but his studied calm quickly fell back into place when he felt the tension thrumming through the woman behind him.
Attempting to smooth things over Miroku smiled lopsidedly and said quietly, 'I apologize for disturbing you Sango, if I had known you were so deep in thought I would have announced myself. Would it be possible for me to get my arm back now?'
By the time he had finished speaking Sango was already stepping away from him with a strange look in her eye. Shaking his wrist in an exaggerated manner Miroku turned to face Sango and raised a quizzical eyebrow. Seeing that the woman was still on edge the monk leant back against tree to create a little space between them and he picked what he thought might be a topic light enough to crack a smile, 'I assume Sango that a walk in the woods at this early hour was in response to the, uh, noises coming from Inuyasha's sleeping mat? I was outside and even then I was about to take a walk to preserve my ears.'
Because he wasn't looking at her face when he spoke Miroku missed the flash of anger, resentment and oddly enough longing that flickered behind Sango's eyes before she covered it with a dull blankness. Still trying to provoke a laugh, or even a smack, Miroku winked and said, 'Of course they don't hold a monopoly on noises… If you don't mind the leaves on the ground we could…'
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When Miroku unexpectedly touched her arm Sango had nearly fainted at the shock. As she was a slayer however her training took over in the absence of input from her brain and the next thing she knew she was at the point of breaking the monk's arm. Miroku's words barely registered in Sango's ears but she released him quickly, stepping away and staring at him silently. She felt a pang of guilt when the monk shook his wrist painfully but the regret was displaced when Miroku made the quip about the 'activities' in the hut.
Even though she felt like she had her emotions contained Sango was unable to completely hide the gut-churning mix of bitterness and rage tinged with an inexplicable longing. Thanking whichever kami was listening that Miroku had looked away for a moment Sango wiped her face of any emotion, somehow suppressing her howling feelings when the monk got even more suggestive. For a moment Sango opened her mouth, but almost instantly snapped it shut and looked away in an attempt to maintain her composure.
What could she tell him? That she pushed him away because she was scared of what she felt when she looked at him? That she couldn't be around Inuyasha and Kagome when they were so sickeningly loved up because the jealousy burned at the back of her throat and fought to flow out of her mouth in wave of hurtfulness? Or maybe that she didn't know how to even to begin to deal with romantic attraction because her whole life had been consumed with first her training and then the quest for vengeance against Naraku? She didn't know how to just be a woman around a man.
It was probably the compulsion she felt to throw caution to the winds that spooked Sango, she had a thing about control and the feelings coursing through her were whispering for her to just let go. Taking refuge in what she knew she narrowed her eyes and laid a resounding slap across the back of Miroku's head. In her customary tone of irritation that she used when the monk had gone too far Sango growled, 'For your information monk, I was out because I heard something in the trees that could have been a demon. What Inuyasha and Kagome do is their business and I would thank you to keep me out of your perverted thoughts.'
The words still hanging in the air Sango stalked off towards the hut without a backward glance. Confusion and a bitter-sweet wistfulness threatened to break her control but she refused to glance back at the monk and instead sunk her teeth into her lip until she tasted blood. She had walked further than she had thought and by the time she arrived back at the group Kagome was busy cooking breakfast and Shippo had managed to start a small war with Inuyasha. The familiar chaos surrounding her friends could almost convince Sango that she wasn't hiding anything at all and that a little piece of her heart didn't die in her chest when Miroku came back to camp a few minutes later and sat down without a word.
3. Nothing Hurts at All.
Evening had just turned the sky a misty grey when he attacked. There was no sound to warn her, no aura brushing across her awareness, just the burning pain of a blade slicing open her shoulder and then Kirara's yowl as the weapon nicked her hind leg on its way back to the small hand that had thrown it. Kirara skidded around in mid-air to face their attacker and Sango felt her heart break again when she confirmed what she had already suspected; below the slayer and her nekomata, staring up through the trees, stood Kohaku.
As if communicating with her mistress through telepathy Kirara dropped from the sky and had Sango on the ground in a flash. Staring intently at her brother Sango could tell that this time was disturbingly different and she felt a pang of fear for herself and the boy she loved so fiercely. Instead of Kohaku's eyes being dull, dead hollows in his face they were filled with awareness and hopeless anguish. A gasp escaped Sango's lips when she realized that Naraku had awakened her brother's mind while still dictating his every move.
There was a tiny flicker in Kohaku's eyes meant to warn Sango and she dove out of the way of a strike from his kusarigama, rolling to her feet and whipping her hiraikotsu in front of her in a defensive stance. Not sure what to do, she was frozen to the spot when she heard Kohaku whisper, 'Kill me… Kill me so he cannot use me against you…'
Adamantly shaking her head and blinking back tears Sango refused to respond and circled slowly around the boy, her mind working frantically. The blood loss from the wound on her shoulder was starting to affect the strength of her right arm and when Kohaku's blade flicked out again she was unable to deflect it completely, the sharp edge cutting a gash in her neck only inches from the first wound.
A sob forced its way out of Sango's mouth, filled with hopelessness at the horror of the situation they were both in and against all probability the sound cut through a large part of Naraku's control over the young demon slayer boy. Sango watched her brother sway and fall to his knees and using all her strength she staggered over to him and pulled him into her arms. They sat holding each other tightly for only a moment before the awareness began to drain out of Kohaku's face and he shoved Sango away hard causing her to fall onto her injured side with a groan.
The sounds of her friends still some distance off in the forest didn't even register for Sango and she watched mutely as Kohaku retrieved his weapon and moved to stand in front of her. She listened as her little brother opened his mouth and said in a voice not his own, 'This body seems to be a useful pawn against you Taijiya, you cannot hurt him even to prevail against me. Your pain amuses me woman, you will see your brother again and I will enjoy directing him to cut your throat.'
Tears overflowed and through the blur Sango could only watch as Kagura swept down and scooped Kohaku up into her feather. Stunned at the brief loving touch she had shared with the only family she had left Sango simply let bitter tears fall while the blood from her injuries flowed down her back. She could hear her friends yelling her name but it seemed unreal compared to the agony that was consuming her from within.
It could have been an eternity later but was in reality only a few minutes when Sango mechanically began to fumble in her pouch for medicine to stop the blood from her wounds. Like an automaton she applied the salve to the deep cuts, not even flinching at the burn, and within another minute she was cleaned up and walking slowly in the direction that she last heard Kagome's piercing call. It was only a short distance's walk before she found the group but she was glad to see Inuyasha's bright red robe as her legs were starting to feel decidedly unsteady.
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Kagome left out a sigh of relief when she saw Sango trudging through the trees and she ran towards her friend, wrapping her in a big hug. She narrowed her eyes when Sango awkwardly hugged her back with one arm but pushed it to the back of her mind when the slayer quietly asked if they could make camp for the night so that she could tell them what had happened. Settling into her 'mother hen' role Kagome bustled around getting the camp ready and once the fire was going she sat everyone down to listen to what the slayer had to say.
There was a long silence in which Kagome felt a seed of worry sprout in her heart and then Sango spoke, 'I was out scouting and got attacked at sunset. Naraku sent… He sent Kagura, not to kill me, but to taunt me. I'm worried that he's starting to change his tactics with us that he's not planning merely to kill us all but to break us one by one. Kagura said things… About Kohaku and what he would do when we come against him. We should be ready for things to get worse okay?'
Listening to Sango speak Kagome felt her heart sink at the implications. If Naraku was now coming at them from such a perspective things could get infinitely worse. Something niggled at Kagome however and once the others had retired to bed she hesitantly walked over to where Sango was lying and sat next to her. Trying to be gentle she asked, 'Is there something else that's bothering you Sango? I feel like there's something you're not telling us, telling me…'
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Once she was lying on her sleeping mat Sango set about the near impossible task of relaxing but she tensed up again when she heard Kagome's soft steps coming towards her. She briefly contemplated feigning sleep but dismissed the idea and stared at the stars waiting for her friend to speak. Kagome's tentative question shook her confidence as she had thought her façade was flawless and she suddenly found herself warring with, well, herself.
One side of Sango's mind cried out for her to tell Kagome about Kohaku's appearance and the full pain of Naraku's spite, but the other and louder part of Sango's thoughts simply snarled against the thought of opening up to anyone and told her on no uncertain terms that she was not allowed to be weak. Not letting any of the inner turmoil show on her face Sango looked over at Kagome and tried a half-hearted smile.
When Kagome smiled back Sango took a deep breath and said, 'I can't stop thinking about what that bastard might be doing to Kohaku, Kagome. Kagura as good as told me that Naraku would hurt my brother to hurt me and there's nothing I can do about it. I want to find that fuck and take his demon-suit to pieces but I have to wait and I'm just not dealing with it very well right now. Please, don't worry on my account.'
Sango could tell that she had not fully convinced Kagome that she was okay but the confidence she had forced into her tone had at least deterred further questioning. Kagome's soft sigh almost made her reconsider but the moment passed by and instead Sango had to bite back a hiss of pain as Kagome patted her wounded shoulder and wandered back to her own bed. The Taijiya's self-control allowed her to mask the flinch that would have given her away and she went back to staring at the clear night sky.
4. Masking the Unseen Marks.
It was only two days after Kohaku had attacked her that Sango fell into the clutches of a demon. She couldn't blame anyone but herself for sneaking off to take a bath in the hot-springs without even telling Kagome where she was going and now she was trapped with a demented yōkai. She was naked, seated against the dirt wall of a deep cave, slumped over and unable to move due to the strange paralysing poison coursing through her veins.
Fear sparked in the demon slayer's eyes when the lithe demon slid into view and moved sinuously towards her. This particular yōkai had the form of an impossibly tall and slender, pale male and exuded pure sex from every pore. Poisonous green eyes stared down at the captive Sango and on the demon's head its lustrous brown hair moved restlessly like a nest of snakes. Each hair came to a wicked point and Sango realized that the demon had poisoned her by stinging her with its hair.
Frantically Sango tried to break free of the hold of the poison running through her body but all she managed to do was tip sideways and fall on her face on the floor. From that strange perspective she watched the demon approach and when it got nearer something strange began to happen. Warmth flushed Sango's cheeks and she found that she couldn't look away from the graceful swaying of the yōkai's hips. Terror filled the slayer as she realized just what type of demon had her trapped; she was in the clutches of a Lust Demon.
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Inuyasha emerged from the dark, dank cave that until recently had housed an ancient demon of lust. Cradled in his arms was the unconscious body of Sango, who they had been searching for since the previous night. The hanyou carried the slayer to a patch of soft grass and laid her gently down so that Kagome could treat her wounds. Standing back next to Shippo who was watching worriedly Inuyasha looked over at Miroku who was sitting some distance away staring bleakly at Sango's still form.
Though he wasn't usually one for introspection Inuyasha couldn't stop his mind from speculating about what it would feel like if it were Kagome lying so still on the ground and his body reacted without the intervention of thought, sending his fist smashing into a tree. The groaning crash of the tree falling had the unexpected result of jolting Sango into wakefulness and she made everyone jump by jerking into a sitting position and trying to scramble away from Kagome who was leaning over her.
Inuyasha watched for a moment as Kagome wrapped the trembling woman in an embrace and began murmuring soft words in her ear to calm her. When Sango had stopped shaking and her wide brown gaze seemed clearer the hanyou walked over slowly and crouched down so he could look her straight in the eyes. Aware it probably wasn't the time but needing to know Inuyasha asked gruffly, 'What the fuck happened Sango? How did you get taken?'
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Sango came back to herself at the booming roar of a tree falling to the ground. Still caught in the terror of her time with the demon she shot up and shoved herself away from the person leaning into her personal space before realizing that it was Kagome who was staring at her in shock. Before she knew it Sango was enfolded in a huge hug and the calming voice of her friend slowly brought her back to the present. Sango hated herself for it but was unable to supress a flinch when Inuyasha appeared next to her and asked the question she did not want to answer.
'What the fuck happened Sango? How did you get taken?'
Taking a shuddering breath Sango forced her voice to work and said carefully, 'I really needed a bath and I snuck away to the hot-springs so that there would be no peeping eyes. I had only made it just out of sight of the camp when everything went black and when I woke up I was in that cave. I was a bit fuzzy but I managed to figure out that the demon had poison hair and stung me from behind. It paralyzed me.' Sango stopped abruptly as a flashback broke into her thoughts.
She couldn't move. Rough hands turned her onto her back and a burning hot body lowered itself onto her. She would have given anything to scream as the demon's lips pressed against hers but all she could do was rage inside her head. The unwelcome kisses moved down to her neck and the resulting wave of fear gave her the strength to force a breathless snarl of protest. It made no difference though and the demon let out a low chuckle before continuing to lay a trail of burning kisses over her skin.
Finding her voice again Sango continued, 'It was Lust Demon and it wanted more power. It wanted to find more women for it to prey on so it tried to break its way into my mind so I would tell it where the closest village is. My training made my defences too strong for it to get into my head so it decided to torture it out of me. It knew how to inflict pain without compromising my usefulness.'
Lips on skin were replaced by even more unwelcome fingers. Psychic weapons battered her defences and when she proved too strong the touches turned rough. Uncaring fingers tweaked at tender nipples and left bruises when she moaned in pain. Glowing green eyes worked their magic and the moans of pain turned to groans of reluctant arousal. Sliding further down her body the fingers wrung tortuous sounds that she tried to choke back but each time she bit her tongue the fingers would stroke and she would moan despairingly. It didn't take long before she let out a strangled scream and fell back into blackness.
Locking her thoughts and emotions up tight behind her eyes Sango looked at the ground rather than into the eyes staring at her. In a voice that could easily be mistaken for normal Sango said, 'I'm sorry for sneaking off without telling anyone and putting us all in danger. It won't happen again you can be sure. I think I need to sleep now but I should be okay to travel tomorrow.'
She turned away quickly so she missed the expressions of worry in Kagome and Inuyasha' eyes and the naked anguish written all over Miroku's face. Shippo skipped along beside her so she kept her mask in place, not letting through any of the self-loathing and pain that was roiling behind her eyes. Safe on her sleeping mat Sango couldn't stop a single tear from sliding down her cheek and falling to the ground, testament to the fact that though her friends had arrived in time to stop one violation she had still been broken by the demon.
5. Taunting the Untauntable.
How they ended up here she didn't want to know. In fact she did know but didn't want to acknowledge that she was back at her devastated village purely due to the whims of Naraku. Sango had barely had the time to feel the gut-wrenching sorrow that being home brought her before Inuyasha yelled a warning and they were assailed by huge numbers of yōkai accompanied by Kagura.
Sango grunted as she threw hiraikotsu and the huge bone weapon clipped Kagura's feather, dropping her from the air unceremoniously. With her foe temporarily out of the way Sango glanced at her friends who were overwhelming a swarm of Naraku's demons before snapping her head around to catch something that was moving at the edge of her sight. Half hidden amongst the trees stood the slight form of Kohaku.
With a quick look to make sure that the group weren't in immediate danger Sango signalled Kirara to make a wide circle and head towards the forest. With the nekomata's speed Sango was sure that she hadn't been seen and making sure she had hiraikotsu gripped tight in her hand she launched herself off Kirara's back to land sure-footed right in front of her brother. A quick glimpse of his eyes confirmed that Kohaku was totally under Naraku's control and then Sango had no time for thinking as kusarigama was whistling straight for her head.
Things were no different from last time as Sango knew that there was no way in hell that she could ever hurt her brother and she bit back a growl at the futility of her situation. Braced for a strike she tensed but her eyes narrowed in confusion when no blow came. Peering round the defensive shield of her hiraikotsu Sango was surprised into a harsh curse to see Kohaku standing docile next to the imposing form of Naraku.
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Thin trails of miasma streaked the air and Naraku smiled at the haste with which the female Taijiya fumbled for her mask. Wrapping a languid arm around Kohaku the hanyou grinned slyly and forced his voice into Sango's mind whispering, 'Well, once again the weak female slayer has heeded my call. I do not know why you continue to try after such resounding failures Sango.'
Drifting backwards and tightening his grip on Kohaku's neck to halt Sango's reflexive step forward Naraku let out a low laugh and spoke aloud, 'You hinder them Taijiya, you are not good enough to fight among them. Your entire village was slain by your own blood and you could not even wreak vengeance upon the one you thought responsible. Yes he happened to be innocent of that particular crime, but you did not know that then. Do you enjoy being a burden Sango? Do you enjoy endangering those you claim to call friend?'
Red eyes narrowed at the lack of emotion on the woman's pale face and Naraku's fine features twisted into a sneering scowl when he heard the sound of his demon smokescreen being messily destroyed. In a low and venomous hiss Naraku spat out, 'You'll never save him Taijiya, you aren't strong enough. I will make sure that when your precious brother mortally wounds you, you will live long enough to see his throat torn out. Think on that as you and your pathetic friends hunt for me Sango, the day I let you find me is that day both you and your brother will die.'
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Tying her mask to her face with trembling fingers Sango tried with all her might to deflect the barbed words being flung at her by the smirking Naraku. Despite her determination though, the sight of Kohaku standing alongside her worst enemy tore at her heart and made it easier for the calculated taunts to find their mark. Unable even throw her hiraikotsu for fear of hitting her brother Sango crouched in a defensive stance and fought tears of frustration.
All the Taijiya could do in the face of Naraku's vicious tirade was stare into Kohaku's blank eyes and refuse to show any emotion at all. Though her exterior was as expressionless as an inanimate doll, inside Sango was being tortured by her inner voice that seemed to agree with every word Naraku was spewing. Concentrating on maintaining her emotional façade Sango was unable to distinguish between her own thoughts and the insidious whispers of Naraku's mind.
How could I be so easily led to end up right where he dictated I be? Again? That bastard knows exactly how to jerk me around like one of his damn puppets! Is it because I'm… weak… How can he know my strengths and weaknesses better than I do?
I failed my family, my village, and now I'm standing here so close to the one person I have left unable to even reach for him. Kohaku… I'm so sorry for my failings as a big sister. I'm sorry that I cannot carry you away from Naraku's foul touch. I would give my life in an instant if it meant that you were no longer a pawn in the games of that murdering demon. I cannot forgive myself for letting this happen and I know that I deserve no forgiveness for failing so badly as a sister as well as a slayer.
Dammit and no matter how long or hard I try, I cannot think of way to save us. I can all too easily believe that demon bastard's words of death and despair because I just can't think of any way to fix this. I'm so sorry Kohaku, you deserve a sister who can save you but instead you have me… I will keep trying with every last breath in my body and every last drop of blood in my veins and I pray that it's enough to save you…
When Naraku hissed his parting words Sango stood with no expression on her face. When her friends finally ran through the trees just in time to see Naraku disappear into a cloud of miasma with Kohaku, Sango busied herself with cleaning her weapon and related a sketchy outline of events while staring at the ground. When Kagome tried to ask her if she was okay Sango blandly said yes. When Miroku stared at her with pain and worry for her in his eyes Sango pretended she didn't see.
1. Please, Not You Too.
The battle had only been with a lowly Earth Demon, how could it have gone so wrong?
Inuyasha and Kagome had left that morning, Kagome insisting that Inuyasha accompany her to shut her brother up while she studied for one of her tests. For half a day Sango had hung around the village trying to avoid Kaede, Shippo and Miroku as they seemed to be on a mission to sit her down for a talk. Things had taken an interesting turn though when a terrified farmer had stumbled into the village, stuttering about a horrible demon that had been eating his cattle from below. With a relieved sigh Sango went to find the insufferable monk, already anticipating the release a fight would bring.
The man's farm had only been a brief walk away and as soon as they reached the fence surround his property the farmer high-tailed it back to watch from the tree line. Sango had strode forward in front of Miroku, Kirara and Shippo, searching for any sign of the demon but the open field seemed quiet and peaceful. She had turned back to ask the monk if he could see anything and then the breath had been punched from her lungs as an unconscious Kirara hit her in the midsection, knocking her to the ground. Lying winded on her back Sango could only watch the bulky, weather-beaten form of the demon hurtle over her, straight towards Miroku.
Jumping to her feet Sango stood in front of the shivering nekomata and fumbled for her hiraikotsu, Miroku seemed to be fending the demon off with his staff well enough but Sango's keen eyes could see a hairline crack forming from the demon's thundering attacks. Astonished and just starting to get the first inkling that something was really wrong Sango ripped her weapon from its bindings and shot forward just as Miroku's staff shattered and he fell back with wide eyes. The demon's rocky arm swung towards the monk but was stopped in its tracks when it hit the unyielding bone of the hiraikotsu.
The demon's ire successfully diverted from Miroku, Sango now found herself hard pressed to block the staggeringly powerful blows being aimed at her. A fleeting thought flew through her head along the lines of, 'Kami damn it, this is not some simple Earth Demon!' and then it was lost in the ungraceful, brutal fight for survival. A lichen-covered stone fist clipped her shoulder and Sango was suddenly on her back staring up at a massive foot poised to come down on her. Unable to reach her weapon Sango snarled at the demon in defiance but her expression changed to shock when a dark blue blur snatched her out of the way and a loud explosion in the demon's face forced it back a step.
Gruffly Sango muttered her thanks and pulled Miroku to his feet before leaping forward to drag Shippo out of the way of a fountain of rocks and earth that spewed from under his feet. As loud as she could to carry over the thunderous grinding and crashing of the demon Sango yelled, 'Miroku, there's more to this thing than we thought! It's a trap, we have to –' The demon slayer was cut off as she was hit in the back by a cubic fucktonne of rock and the world went dark for Sango for a time.
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Miroku was still wrestling with the implications of his broken staff when he heard Sango's yell get cut off. A tremor shot through the monk's body and he felt rage rise within him at the sight of Sango's limp body crashing to the ground. Taking off at a run Miroku grabbed Shippo by the tail and shouted for the kit to draw the demon away from Sango with his firebombs, hoping that if they took the fight far enough away from the Taijiya she would be able to recover consciousness. The shaking and thudding behind them told Miroku his plan was working all too well and he forced his legs to run faster.
Skidding to a halt near the far side of the field Miroku gently placed Shippo on the ground and gritted his teeth. Without his staff the monk felt like he was missing a limb and with regret he decided he had no other option but to use the wind tunnel. Unfortunately this decision had taken time they didn't have and Miroku let out pained cry as the demon hurled a shard of rock that punched straight through his shoulder. Through the roar of his pain he heard Shippo scream a challenge and the air was lit with the glowing green of foxfire.
Painfully Miroku pushed himself to his knees and clutched at the rosary that sealed his cursed hand. His own voice echoed in his ears, calling for Shippo to get the hell behind him, and when he felt the kitsune grabbing at his robes Miroku sighed softly and ripped away the fragile binding of his kazaana. As always he felt a wrenching deep inside as the cursed portal began to relentlessly suck in everything in front of it but this time when the demon lost its fight against the power of the wind tunnel and was dragged in he felt a pain on par with the agony he experienced from Naraku's poisoned insects. It was all he could do to wrap the rosary tight around his palm before another wave of burning torture hit and he was writhing on the ground unable to hold back a scream of pure anguish.
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Consciousness came back to Sango slowly and when she tried to move she let out a low groan. The world was spinning around her and Sango had to grit her teeth and fight hard against overwhelming nausea. She tried to clear her vision by mashing her hands over her eyelids but her eyes flew open in panic when she heard the roaring of Miroku's kazaana, fear for the monk momentarily overriding her physical discomfort. Sango pushed herself up on her elbows just in time to see Miroku rebind his hand and then abruptly collapse in agony.
All of her own pain totally forgotten Sango half-stumbled and half-staggered over to where Miroku was convulsing on the ground. She stared in horror for a long moment but was brought back to reality when Shippo started crying next her, bringing the seriousness of the situation into sharp clarity. The realization that Miroku could very well die hit Sango like a punch in the gut and ignoring her own wounds she sprang into action. With Shippo's help the Taijiya muscled the twitching monk onto Kirara who was limping heavily and they moved as fast as they could towards Kaede's village.
The trip to the village was a blur for Sango and when Miroku was finally handed into the care of Kaede she stumbled out of the hut and slumped against the wall, sliding down into a heap on the ground. Her own injuries were not insignificant but Sango was adamant that Miroku was to be treated before anyone even thought about her wounds. Every now and then a healer would tentatively approach the slayer but was promptly sent into the hut to see to the now unconscious monk. Sango sat for what felt like forever staring blankly at nothing until a pair of sandals shuffled over and stopped in front of her.
Sango could barely find the strength to look up but slowly raised her eyes when Kaede started speaking. In a gentle voice the old priestess said, 'Sango, the monk is awake and he is asking to see you. Will you go in to see him?'
Unable to even find her voice Sango mutely nodded and climbed painfully to her feet. Following Kaede into the dimly lit hut the slayer bit her lip to stifle a gasp of shock at how pale and weak Miroku looked. Sango sank to her knees beside the sleeping pallet and forced herself to look into the man's tired amethyst eyes, asking in a whisper, 'Are you… Will you live? What happened Miroku?'
The monk looked a little startled at hearing Sango use his name but pushed himself up on the pillow a little and said in a voice barely above a murmur, 'Kaede told me that I was poisoned when the demon was sucked into my wind tunnel. We think Naraku put something inside the creature and set it as a trap for me. There are villagers out now trying to find Myōga because my only chance now is if the poison is removed from my body. Sango, I… I'm sorry I couldn't protect you more…'
Sango couldn't hold it in anymore and she let out a strangled sob when Miroku tried to apologize. All the fear and all her tension shattered into a million pieces and suddenly she couldn't restrain the words that had been straining to tumble out of her mouth. In between sobs, in a broken voice Sango cried, 'Dammit you can't die Miroku, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry… Kami take it all monk I don't… I can't…'
The words Sango was trying to say was drowned out by the tears that she couldn't seem to control. Shame, regret and desperation all crowded for space on the woman's face and she turned away from Miroku, shuddering with the force of her emotions. Everything she wanted to say stuck in her throat and Sango stared at the earthen floor with utterly no idea of what to say next until movement beside her narrowed her attention to a point. In the seconds that Sango had looked away from the bed, Miroku's eyes had rolled back in his head and his body had begun to jerk uncontrollably.
Yanked unceremoniously from her emotional distress Sango immediately scrambled over to the bed and grabbed Miroku's shoulders. The monk had gone ominously limp and when Sango put her cheek next to his mouth she could barely feel the flutter of his breath on her skin. Helplessness pierced the usually confident slayer and all she could do was gather the motionless body of her companion in her arms and rock backwards and forwards, praying to whatever kami happened to be listening for the monk to be okay. As the healers hurried around her Sango focused on Miroku to the exclusion of all else, speaking as if he could hear her.
Voice breaking and raw Sango whispered, 'I'm sorry Miroku, for everything. For… for pushing you away when all I want to do is hold you close. You've been beside me for long, that I thought somehow you'd always be there… But you're not invulnerable… I should have swallowed my pride so long ago… Miroku… Dammit monk, I love you too much to let you go like this…'
Swallowing the tears that were trying to steal her voice completely Sango forgot her trepidation, forgot her misgivings and most of all she forgot her fears of rejection. In little more than a whisper she continued, 'Please come back to me Miroku… I don't think I can do this without you. You have to be okay because... because I love you Miroku, I need you to tell me you love me too…'
A slight movement in Sango's arms stopped her breath in her chest and barely able to bring herself to look she moved her gaze up to Miroku's face. The first thing Sango noticed was a bloated shape rolling ponderously off of Miroku's shoulder and falling to the ground with a groan, the second thing that claimed her attention was his eyes. The monk's vivid indigo gaze were fixed on hers, filled with a whirling mix of emotions and Sango realized that he had heard most, if not all, of what she had blurted out. Seized by crippling anxiety and uncertainty Sango shoved herself backwards and went to stumble out of the hut.
'No, please wait!' Miroku's pained groan stopped Sango in her tracks and she turned to find him half-sprawled off the bed having tried to go after her and stop her leaving. Before she knew what she was doing the slayer lunged back toward the bed and caught the monk just as he fell to the floor. Again on her knees with Miroku clutched in her arms Sango couldn't avoid the man's pleading gaze or the misery in his voice. 'Please don't run away from me Sango, not again…'
'…' Sango opened her mouth with no idea as to what would come out but Miroku kept talking, desperate for her to hear him, 'I know you didn't mean for me to hear you Sango but I did and I… I've loved you for so long. I've messed it all up by being so stupid, I know t-this but please don't go… I swear Sango if you let me I will be yours and only yours just don't push me away anymore…'
The usually collected and unflappable Taijiya sat with her mouth half open and just stared at the monk who was gripping her arms like he was trying to physically stop her from disappearing. Emotions roared through Sango's mind, disbelief, longing, panic and scepticism but after a chaotic second they all burned away, leaving only hope. Briefly her mind screamed at her to raise her guard, to fucking run, but the intensity in Miroku's eyes begged her to let him in. Almost as if she had no control over her actions Sango's hand drifted up and caressed Miroku's pale cheek.
Sango's expressive brown eyes met Miroku's amethyst stare and slid closed when slender fingers hesitantly reached up to touch her hand that was still cupping the monk's face. A sigh, just on the edge of hearing, slipped from her lips when Miroku turned his head slightly and laid a delicate kiss in the palm of her hand. Drawn by some unseen force Sango slowly leant down and suddenly her lips were on his in the most searing kiss either of them had ever experienced.
It didn't matter that Myōga was rolling round on the floor cursing the lack of thanks coming his way. It didn't matter that Miroku was still too weak to do more than thread his fingers through hers and kiss back. It didn't matter that blood was still matting her hair and dribbling down her neck from her head wound. It didn't even matter that Kagome and Inuyasha had returned and were standing in the doorway with Kaede and Shippo, gaping like slack-jawed idiots. They were lost in each other, lost in feelings long misunderstood and denied and the love now ignited between them burned away everything until there was nothing left but them.
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Seated in the sun Sango closed her eyes and enjoyed the brief reprieve from the hunt. The sounds of her friends washed over her and with a smile Sango pictured the scene of Shippo stealing Inuyasha's food and then fleeing for the safety of Kagome's skirts. A soft crunch of leaves alerted the Taijiya that someone was approaching but she recognized the cautious step and kept her eyes closed, her smile simply growing wider. It wasn't until a gentle hand touched her shoulder that she opened her eyes and grinned at the monk standing in front of her.
Gesturing to the patch of grass next to her Sango waited for Miroku to seat himself and then she stretched out on her back with her head cradled in his lap. Sighing softly at the touch of her man's fingers on her skin Sango let the tranquillity of the moment wash away thoughts of her brother and her fears for tomorrow, she embraced the feelings of peace and thanked whatever kami was listening for the one time she had the strength to open her heart.