This is my first story for one-shot Wednesday. Takes place after Tony finishes his speech at MIT and meets the lady outside the elevator.
I walked out from the stage door, not wanting to ever go back in there again. It had been Pepper's idea to create the simulation of my childhood, what I wish I could've said to my parents. The guilt still ate away at me every day at the fact that I had let my father go without saying goodbye to him properly. My mother and I were always closer with each other, but my father was still my father. Their deaths didn't come into my mind often. I had other things to think about, like Pepper for instance, but when it did I always got the feeling that there was something missing. It's like I've solved the puzzle, but it still doesn't feel complete yet.
The 'break' that me and Pepper were on didn't feel like one. I had never been on a break, God I had never been in a serious relationship before Pepper started dating me, but it felt like hell. She had always been there for me, through everything. When Loki came, the nightmares that followed...I honestly don't believe she had put up with me for so long. Ultron was a step too far. I told her that it was the Maximoff girl's fault.
"Tony I can't...I can't do this anymore." she said, rushing to the wardrobe to get a suitcase. I had no idea what she was doing until she started taking her clothes out of the wardrobe. As soon as I entered through the door 15 minutes ago, I could tell she was pissed with me. I apologised for not calling her sooner and tried to hug her, but she pushed me away, tears burning in her eyes. I asked what was wrong and she shook her head asking "Why...why do you have to put yourself in danger?" Tears were streaming down her face and I wanted nothing more than to reach out and wipe the tears away, but every time I touched her she would bat my hand away like I was some sort of stranger to her. Why was she acting so distant to me? It had been 6 days since the attack with Ultron and I had gone back to see Pepper, the thoughts of moving away from the city and actually taking a leaf out of Barton's book to settle down in the countryside. I didn't want the Avengers if I couldn't have her.
"Pep...what are you doing?" I asked, stepping closer to her as she grabbed some of the clothes that were stored on one of the high shelves. I kept my distance, knowing that she would move my arm away, but I stayed near the bed that the suitcase was lying on.
"I'm packing. We need to...we need some distance, Tony." she told me, not even bothering to look at me. Was I that much of a pain to her? Risking my life has always been an occupational hazard. She knew that more than anyone. She was strong and looked after me more than enough times, not just to remember my security number, but to care for me. I thought I always cared for her too.
"What are you talking about distance? The distance between us right now is killing me alone." I replied, trying to catch her eyes with mine by moving my head, but she wouldn't look. She stopped walking towards the cupboard, her back facing me and slowly turned around. She locked eyes with me and i saw her lips tremble. I was worried that she was going to burst into tears like she had earlier, but she took a breath and composed herself.
"We need to go on a break." she whispered, shutting her eyes for a few seconds. I was pretty sure my heart stopped. Never once, not once, had we had a relationship problem as big as this. She had argued with me after Loki invaded and the mandarin nearly killed us, but nothing as drastic as this. I felt an unfamiliar pain spread in my chest and it felt like it was suffocating me. Pepper was all I had and I wasn't overexaggerating by saying I couldn't live without her. Most people in the world think I'm an arrogant, handsome genius, which I am, but she sees more than that. She understands how much I care for everyone. But that's the problem. I think now she understands that I care too much.
"W-what..." I said, the word barely leaving my throat from how quiet it was and even thought she hadn't heard me until she spoke up, coming towards the suitcase with more clothes.
"I said that we need to...go on a break." she replied, her voice becoming quieter at the end.
"Are you joking?" I asked and her eyes flickered to mine. I felt so hollow, like my soul had been taken out of my body. She couldn't be serious. She couldn't be. It was Pepper. She would never leave me. As much as I wanted to believe the things I was telling myself, her eyes were filled with nothing but sadness. She wasn't lying. "You...you're being serious?" I asked and she squeezed her eyes shut, turning to gather some more clothes from her wardrobe.
"I'll spend some time at my sisters. I can't...be here right now." she replied, collecting her shoes from the wardrobe. I could hear the anger in her voice and see it as she shoved the shoes into the bag she was packing. The fact that nearly half the clothes in the wardrobe made me realise something. She wasn't going to come back. If she was, she would've left her clothes here. This wasn't going to be a few days...no...no, my mind is being stupid. Of course Pepper was going to return...was she? The thought dawned on me and I had to ask her about it. I couldn't just sit here and do nothing.
"Pepper, are you...are you breaking up with me?" I asked, only just noticing how my voice was shaky, I couldn't seem to form a sentence and I kept stuttering. Tony Stark never stutters. Ever. She was ruining me and the worst part was I think Pepper noticed that. The question stopped her for a moment before she continued to lower some makeup that she had taken from the side desk into the bag.
"I'm not breaking up with you..." she said, but she gave off her little tick. Whenever Pepper lied, she would always scratch the back of her hand. From all the time I had been with her, I never asked her, because I wanted it to be my secret. She didn't even realise that she did it.
"Really? Because you're itching your hand, which means you're lying. Please, just tell me the truth." I sounded so desperate. When did I become so desperate? I loved Pepper with all my heart and I didn't tell her enough. I felt so broken and I didn't want her to leave me...ever. She stared at me, her eyebrows furrowed, and then looked down at her hand, which still had the nails she used to itch with over it.
"Tony..." she said, softly, zipping up the bag that had all of her clothes in. As she zipped it up, I saw the blue, low-back dress that she wore when we danced together. I desperately wanted to kiss her at that party, but I was never sure whether she truly liked me or not. Also, I was unaware of whether I wanted her to be another one of my flings. I didn't want to do that to her, but I wanted her so badly. I nearly fell over the day she told me she loved me. It was a few months before I told her and I think i always did love her, but I never wanted to admit it. "I can't..." she said, breaking to snuffle and wipe her eyes, before continuing. "I can't be with you." she continued, the last couple of words coming out as sobs.
I desperately wanted to hug her, the same desperation I had when I was transporting the nuke of the city at the Battle of New York. I didn't want to imagine the day when I woke up without her, looking across the bed and not see her beautiful face looking down at me as she weaved her smooth fingers through my hair. I didn't want her to kiss me for one last time, I wanted her to kiss me all the time. I needed her to stay. "You can't leave." I whispered, getting up as she picked up the suitcase, placing it on the floor to extend the handle, creating more space between us.
She took her phone off the side table on her way and began texting, trying to ignore me or text Happy to pick her up. Probably both. "Pepper, you cannot leave me. I won't let you." I said as she twisted the handle of the bedroom door. As she opened it, my eyes flickered to the bathroom, the door to it open. I saw the two toothbrushes that were sitting side by side on the ledge and I felt another pang of pain go through my chest. It was stupid, but I had never had a night without Pepper and me cleaning our teeth together when we were both in the same country. Unless we both had something major on, we would always do it. I didn't want to throw away something like that, even if it was a stupid toothbrush. I was pulled from my thoughts when I realised that the doorway was empty and Pepper had already begun to make her way down the corridor to the stairs. Unfortunately, she was wearing flat shoes than the heels that everyone always saw her in, so it didn't slow her down as she walked down the stairs. I was one of the few people to ever see Pepper out of heels.
I ran to catch up with her and caught up with her half way down the stairs, hanging onto the side railing as I spoke, because I was worried that my legs would buckle under the strain of feeling so hurt by the only person I had ever loved. "You are not leaving..." I told her and she shook her head.
"You can't stop me Tony." she said. Every word was breaking my heart more and more. I missed the little nicknames that she would put onto the end of my name. If she didn't hate me right now, she would've used the word 'baby' or 'honey' or 'sweetie'. It was generic for couples, but my heart craved for those words to be said about me from those gorgeous lips of her.
If I couldn't force her to stay, then I would at least try and persuade myself and her that this was all some sort of misunderstanding. She couldn't leave me and I was willing to try anything to get her to stay. "This is just a silly little argument. We'll get over it, you don't need to l-"
"Maybe I don't want to get over it." she snapped as she reached the bottom of the stairs, placing her suitcase on the floor again to wheel it.
"Pepper..." I said, tears forming in my own eyes now. I never cried. I had never cried apart from when Pepper was in danger or when something disasterous had happened to the team, and more importantly Rhodey. "You can't leave me, baby. Please, please don't leave." I begged, tears now falling onto my face. If I was this upset about something, Pepper would usually hug me and comfort me and remind me that she was there for me no matter what. Even if all the Avengers left and I had no one else to turn to, she reminded me that I would always have her in my life. I guess not anymore. Because she was breaking up with me and my heart was breaking because of it.
By now, she had already reached the door, my short legs not being able to keep up with her. I ran towards her, but she was already half out of the door. "Pepper..." I whispered as she gave her luggage to Happy who was looking confusedly at me, but he took the luggage anyway without saying a word and stored it in the boot before quickly getting into the driver's seat. Pepper approached the front seat door, but I ran to her, reaching my hand out to grab her wrist. She flinched at the contact, but turned to me this time without pulling away.
"Please..." I begged, my voice breaking at the thought of her going away and leaving me behind. I shook my head slowly and whispered "You can't leave me here without you..." I saw the pain this was causing her too. I understood that me being an Avenger put her in a difficult position, but I thought that she loved me more than that. I thought her love for me was stronger. Mine certainly was for her. Seeing her in danger kills me inside, but I love her too much to let her go.
"Goodbye Tony." she whispered, taking in a shaky breath before taking her arm out of my now slackened grip and opening the door. She quickly slid inside and Happy began to drive the car away. Suddenly, it was all becoming too real and I knew it was desperate, but I had to go after her.
"No..." I whispered to myself walking after the car as it went down the drive. "No." I shouted a little louder, trying to run after the car, but it was too fast. The car was getting further and further away and I knew I couldn't do this forever. She had left. She'd gone and I was left here alone. I stopped running, pausing in the long driveway. I stood there, watching the car drive off into the distance, hoping that it would stop and Pepper would come running back to me...but it didn't. The car kept driving until I saw it turn off towards a different road, leaving me staring at the empty space of driveway.
I dropped to my knees, my legs unable to support the heavy weight of my heart that was taking me down. I sat there, tears streaming down my face, unable to breath. I was practically in shock and I had no idea what to do. So I just sat there...thinking about how many more times I could've said I love you and how much more effort I could've put in to show that I loved her and that I would do anything for her. But it was too late.
After ringing Rhodey and getting him to pick me up, I spent of my nights at the Avengers Tower where he was permanently stationed. I told him to tell everyone that I was working on a big project that I didn't want anyone to interrupt me for, not even for a greeting, because it would take we weeks, maybe even months, to perfect. I arrived at 3 o'clock in the morning with him and he immediately took me to my room, which was also linked with a lab that would be empty now that Bruce was also gone.
If I wasn't drinking, I was making new designs for suits and arc reactors. Rhodey came to see me at many points in the day, trying to talk to me. Most of the time I didn't talk to him about Pepper, but there were a few times were I completely broke down from drinking too much alcohol. Pepper was the one that stopped me from being an alcoholic. It was one of the only conditions that she had if we were to be together. I agreed, of course, and it was definitely worth it. I felt so much better afterwards and felt a sense of accomplishment, but after she broke up with me, I was a complete wreck, going without sleep for days. Drunk or hungover was a constant for me until the tower ran out of liquor. I asked Rhodey to get me some more, but he said he wouldn't. Apparently I started complaining and attacked him because he wouldn't. He said that he even had to sedate me just to get me to stop.
Rhodey said that I slept for two days straight, because I was so tired. After I woke up, we had a proper conversation about Pepper, crying only lightly from the talk, and I knew that I couldn't mope around for weeks on end about it. So I threw myself into work, actually going to see the rest of the group for a bit. I also continued to research about Peter Parker, the secret spider that was crawling around everywhere saving people. He was going to be an Avenger one day and I knew it. I even spent a few days designing a suit for him. God, the suit he wore was scrappy.
The teleprompter that had just been shown in the theatre saying Pepper's name really hurt. I saw it and knew that I had to make something up quickly otherwise I would risk my reputation. There had been a few rumours about me and Pepper, but I didn't respond to them. I just wanted her to come home was all. I had Rhodey recruit a private agent to follow her most days, because I wanted to make sure that she wasn't in danger. We weren't together anymore, but I still cared for her deeply.
I made my way to the bathroom door, standing there for a second, and turned towards the stage door. Once I realised that no one was following me, I decided that I would go back to the meeting room where I was stationed to prepare for the presentation in. I looked down the corridor to make sure there was no one there either and began to make my way to the elevator, my hands stuffed into my pockets.
There was a black woman standing there, one who I hadn't been introduced to, but I wondered what she was doing there without a child. She didn't look like a threat. She had short, black hair and was wearing a formal black skirt and a purple blouse covered by a black jacket. Her shoes were flat and could be easy for running away in if she did kill me.
I slowed down as I neared her and leant myself against a wall near her, watching out of the corner of my eye as she waited for the elevator doors to open. "That was nice what you did for those young people." she said, not causing me to be startled. I expected her to begin some sort of conversation. I am Tony Stark after all. I continued to stare at the wall as I analysed her statement. I had begun to do that with new people I meet, considering the new threats that may arise in the world to kill me. I didn't care if I died. Like I said to Pepper all those years ago, I deserve to die. I should be dead. But I'm not and I'm going to serve this world and protect it, because I know that I am one of the most qualified to. 'For those young people'. So maybe she doesn't have a son that attends this school. If so why would she be here?
"Oh, they deserve it." I told her, truthfully. They did deserve it. They should be given everything that I got. I had money and could afford to fund projects, but some of those people didn't. The world is always going to need someone to save it. The children in that room were made to help the world defend itself. Aliens existed and no matter how friendly, we could never trust them. I still didn't completely trust Thor. After Loki, I never really fully trusted anyone apart from Happy, Rhodey and Pepper, Happy less so now because he allowed Pepper to leave. "Plus it helps ease my conscious." I told her, continuing to look at her out of the corner of my eye, but not directly.
"They say there is a correlation between generosity and guilt." she said and I took it that this woman didn't like me. She wasn't welcoming at all and her cold voice wasn't pleasing to my ears. "But, you got the money." she added with an odd sounding tone as she shrugging. "Break as many eggs as you like." she said, her voice firmer, which caused me to flick my head quickly towards her. I was quite surprised as the change in voice, but I recognised it well enough. It was anger. I had heard it on the news, the resentment directed at all of the Avengers, and I heard the little jabs at me from time to time, but this woman...she was angry at me. She was acting as if I didn't care at all about the rest of the world when in reality it was the complete opposite. "It's brilliant." she said, giving a small nod, but not looking at all happy with me.
I smiled at her, a little confused with her word choice, and suddenly noticed something that made my smile drop. The elevator button wasn't lit. She wasn't waiting for the elevator. She was waiting for me. I looked suspiciously at the woman who was still staring straight ahead. I pressed the button, still staring at her, and she flicked her eyes to mine. "Are you going up?" I asked. I always made jokes when i was nervous. It eased my worry a little. I always thought of Pepper when I was under pressure, but now that she had gone it felt wrong to.
She stared at me sternly and replied "I'm right where I want to be." She reached into her handbag and I began to panic. Was she going to try and kill me? I still hadn't made it up with Pepper and I at least wanted to do that. "Okay, okay. Hey!" I quickly shot my hand out, grabbing her hand, and she looked up at me a little insulted that I would think she would hurt me. I was constantly on edge about attacks. We held eyes for a moment before my gaze drifted back to her bag. Pepper taught me to see the good in people, so I decided to take a chance and see good in the woman in front of me. After all, Pepper saw the good in me and let me love her. I realised that if she was going to kill me she would've done it by now.
I shook my head. "Sorry..." I apologised, shaking my head. "It's...an occupational hazard."
"I work for the State Department." she told me and I nodded feeling like a bit of an idiot for thinking she was a threat in the first place. "Human resources. I know it's very boring." she added, believing that I would find her job of lesser standard than mine. To be honest, I agreed with her. I wouldn't want to do that all day and my job is much better. "But it enabled me to raise a son."
It did...She raised a son and that was because of her job. She had a safe job, secure...and I didn't. I was becoming more and more aware that Pepper's problem was very real. Of course I wanted a family, but how could she even think about having a child when I was out playing superhero all the time. I wasn't there for her and it killed me to think that she was thinking about a family when I acted as if I didn't care at all. I rarely thought about having my own child, but it did matter to me. I know that I said that children were the future generation and they were going to take over the Avenger's jobs, but this woman was making me think about whether it was worth risking my child's life. Her son must've been sitting in that hall, dreaming about his future, not worrying about being in danger because the world needed him to be someone he didn't want to be.
"I'm very proud...of what he grew up to be." she said and there was something about the way she spoke that wasn't softer, but wasn't harsh either. I was confused as to why she wanted to speak to me and I thought that maybe she had a question about her son's future and whether he would be in a safe environment, but she spoke up again. The harshness returned in her voice as she pushed something onto my chest and said "His name was Charlie Spencer."
Suddenly, everything became crystal clear. Was. Past tense. Dead. She believes that I killed him...and now I was starting to think that I did. I was trying to protect everyone, i was trying my best to keep everyone safe and they couldn't see it. I wanted to apologise, say that I was sorry for her loss, but I was frozen to the spot, thinking about how I would feel if it was my son, not that I would have one now that Pepper had left.
"You murdered him." she stated, no trace of regret in her voice. "In Sokovia." I realised that this woman didn't care if she was caught talking to Tony Stark and telling him that he was a killer...she wanted to get the point across that people were dying and that pay cheques couldn't solve all those problems. "Not that that matters in the least to you." she said, bitterly, keeping the photo on my chest. I could see the tears in her eyes and I felt even more hollow than I already did.
"You think you fight for us...you just fight for yourself." I wanted to argue with her and say that I fought for the people, but this woman was breaking me. Knowing that her son died, coming to the realisation that it was all really happening, was crushing me, and I couldn't find it in my heart to argue with her after what she has lost. I just slowly shook my head, but she didn't bother recognising that. She looked at me in disgust and I had only ever seen someone look at me like that one other time. Christine Everhart had looked at me, like this woman was, at the Stark Industries party when she showed me photo of my weapons being used in another country and children dead on the floor. I felt the same feeling of disgust with myself then...and I was feeling it right now.
"Who's going to avenge my son, Stark?" she asked, her voice filled with so much emotion and pain. I had felt that pain, but not for long. When my mother died, I had felt it and I still did, but when Pepper fell during my fight with Killian, it was so much worse. I thought I wouldn't be able to carry on living and when I discovered that she was still alive my heart had healed itself. This woman would never heal. She spat my surname out like I was a disease and I had never felt so worthless, the pain I felt when Pepper left returning to my chest.
"He's dead." she said, simply. "And I blame you." she finished, before walking away down the hall, leaving the photograph on the floor of her son. I stared at her until she walked through the double doors, not turning her head to say a goodbye. I looked down and saw the son's face staring up at me, almost taunting me. I picked it up and held the picture in my left hand.
"I'm sorry." I whispered, tears forming in my eyes. Guilt had entirely taken over me and I had never felt so distraught in my life. The thoughts of Pepper leaving and me being reminded of all the deaths that had occured because of me was taking over my mind like Wanda had when we first met. The elevator doors opened, making me jump slightly, and I heard someone exit one of the stage doors, so I quickly hoped in the elevator before anyone could see me upset.
So this was meant to be a one-shot for 'One-shot Wednesday', but it you guys want it turned into a story then I will if I get enough requests to. Thank you for reading this and please review it. Incase anyone gets offended by the term 'black', I didn't mean to cause anyway. There are black and white people in the world and I think that's just the names of the colours to me. I don't mean to be offensive and I'm sorry if I did.
Thank you!