Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize…

A/N: I know it's Sunday, and Sunday means smut but I wasn't in the mood, sorry. So here's some harmless fun and fluff written mainly for my bb Viv for the awesome b-day present and for everylastline because she made sure that I won't forget to write about that scene in the s3 gag reel with Grace playfully trying to choke Alex.

Yep, this is the result.

The title is from a movie Mystery Team (Donald Glover always funny as hell) not some sassy shit I made up.

No beta was harmed, blah, blah, blah…

Feed me (Seymour) with reviews and thoughts!


The whole thing started small. Really, it was so subtle that now Danny has to think hard to even remember.

It was after Kono's private graduation ceremony, after she was beaten blue and purple and she got a fucking gun of all things from Steve.

Danny remembers lounging on a chair, beer in hand, trying to carefully advise Chin on proper dress code, hinting that maybe he should take the eye-wateringly ugly aloha shirts down just a teeny-tiny notch.

Maybe.

And because he's good at his profession, he caught the movement at the edge of his peripheral vision. He turned his head slightly, witnessing Steve placing a hand on Kono's shoulder; it was nothing really, just a reassuring pat and a quick squeeze of fingers. It could easily pass as a friendly gesture, a father/mentor like show of concern so Danny didn't make a fuss about it.

Now as he watches the full-blown inappropriate and unprofessional madness on a day-to-day basis that little nothing escalated into, he thinks that he should have shot them on sight.

.

.

Kono tackles the perp to the ground, digging her left knee not so gently into the guys back as she cuffs him with a dark, satisfied grin. Steve stands beside her, one hand resting lazily on his gun holster, watching her with some sort of sick glee on his face, like a twisted proud father and Danny has to roll his eyes and snort.

After Kono pushes the perp towards the Camaro and Steve 'Book 'em Danno' him, Danny doesn't turn quick enough to miss the high-five that goes down between his two certifiably insane teammates.

Cue to the stress headache.

.

.

They are at a football game, it's a surprisingly nice and warm day, not that hell-like, scorching hot temperature that Danny hates. Of course this doesn't stop Kono to wear the most indecent pair of denim shorts and a flowly, gauzy, equally mind dirtying red top. While he plays with the thought of sending Grace to a nunnery in Switzerland when she turns fourteen, the crowd suddenly erupts into loud cheering and Kono leaps over his grumbling, still sitting form, straight into Steve's torso and for once Danny is grateful that his best friend is a big, broad wall of well-defined muscles. Steve catches her easily and Danny can't unsee how one of his hands ends up on the thin strip of golden brown skin between Kono's shorts and top while the other grips the back of her right – also naked and silky smooth lookin' – thigh and maybe Danny experiences instant PTSD from the sight but he swears that Steve caresses the patch of skin under his fingertips.

Danny glances stealthily at Chin who doesn't even notice the defiling that's happening just two seats lower. When he turns back towards the scene of the semi-imagined crime, Kono sits on Steve's shoulders, shouting some not PG rated shit at the other team and Steve grips her knees, grinning like an oversized, special ed kid at a candy shop.

Danny wonders if there's any pain meds left in the Camaro from last week because he can feel the migraine brewing behind his forehead.

.

.

"Are you sleeping with her?" Danny blurts out while Steve is macgyvering a blowtorch on the floor.

"Who?" Steve grunts, his tone half-annoyed, half-amused and fully distracted by the blocks of C4s and the timer.

"Kono." Danny's tone is full of venom and eye-rolling.

Okay, maybe this is not the best time to harass his partner with questions like this but the last time he thought about asking he'd been hanging off a cliff and that was really not the best circumstance.

Steve looks up at that with some crazy intense shit in his eyes and all of a sudden Danny feels justified. There is really something between them.

"No." Steve grunts eventually and turns back to his task.

"You should," Danny muses, glaring at the nape of Steve's neck. "That pigtail pulling bullshit you two have going is very kindergarten and not amusing to watch. Not to mention my doctor wanted to send me to some anonym prescription drug abusers group for all the meds I demanded ever since I've met you two."

Steve doesn't make any remark, but Danny can notice the tension in his shoulders and the way his spine twists into an uncomfortable angle, like he tries to shrug and run and punch Danny in the dick at the same time.

"On the other hand, that half nelson/choke hold thingy she sneaked upon you with two days ago was cute. And impressive. Did you walk around with a boner for the rest of the day?" Danny lashes out menacingly because he suddenly has enough with this crap between those two. "I'm sure your precious navy shower helped shit."

Steve coughs and swears because he cut two of his fingers and almost electrocuted himself and Danny feels the warmth of satisfaction at the pit of his stomach.

Later when they are finally out of the warehouse and the bomb is disarmed, Danny sees a light blue blur flying towards Steve and he doesn't even have to look to know that Kono is already in his arms and they are twisted into some crazy-assed Kama Sutra for lunatics position they try to cover as a handshake.

Goddamned idiots, Danny swears inwardly and lets Chin lead him further away with a warm, reassuring weight of his palm on his lower back.

.

.

Two days, twenty glorious hours of sleep and the longest, hottest lavender scented bubble bath later, Danny walks into the HQ and he immediately notices them in Steve's office.

Kono sits on the desk with Steve standing between her legs.

And it's nothing like the way it was before. Not like the sibling type elbow meeting ribs thing. Not like the high-fives and bro hugs. Not like the two monkeys wrestling freak-show.

No, nothing like that.

Steve has one arm around her waist, keeping her close while his other hand is cupping her face, his thumb brushing over delicate cheekbones, making her eyelids flutter. Then he leans in to kiss the smile on her lips and she twist her fingers into his hair at the back of his head and her legs lift, curling around the back of his thighs to pull him closer while their kiss just gets deeper and deeper and deeper.

Danny blinks and turns around, crashing swiftly into Chin's broad chest. He rolls his eyes at the blindingly awful shirt his teammate wears then makes a vague hand motion towards Steve's office, which means 'don't ask', 'flee you fool' and 'come, we are out of coffee' all at once and steers Chin towards the exit.

Steve owes Danny his dick.

Kono too.

At least he can buy some popcorn before Chin finds out. He bets ten bucks on that his left eyebrow will start to twitch first.

It's a good thing that Steve is an avid runner and a SuperSEAL. Maybe he stands some chance.

Maybe.

Chin is still a mean motherfucker with a shotgun.