Dice was waiting outside the door to a certain tucked-away encampment, having just barely skirted around the snares and traps along the way. Getting to Riou's place was fun, a bit thrilling trying to avoid the obstacles, but the stakes were too low for it to be that entertaining. If he got caught, he'd be found by Riou in the morning and get breakfast. Not much of a rush.
The door cracked open. "Yo! Riou-san!" he called out.
"Ah. Arisugawa-kun. Come in. We were just about to have dinner." He held the door open, showing Dice into his fortified home.
"Sweet! I've been- wait, we? Who else is here?" He was briefly scared that he'd unknowingly intruded on a Mad Trigger Crew meeting. The actual situation, he realized as he stepped into the main room, was far less exciting. "Oh. What're you doing here, office drone? Shouldn't you be out at a diner with your boyfriend?"
Doppo Kannonzaka was seated meekly at the low table. "B-Busujima-san was teaching me some cooking, and he invited me to stay. Did you two have plans? I'm sorry for interrupting, I-I can leave-"
Riou cut him off. "No plans. You can still stay. I've prepared more than enough for three." He disappeared into the kitchen, leaving the two rivals alone.
Dice sighed melodramatically. "I guess even a corporate slave has to get his kicks somehow." He dropped down across from Doppo, legs inelegantly crossed, head resting on a hand propped up on the table. "Eating wacko survival cooking must be the only thrill in your life outside of division battles."
"Huh? Is Busujima-san's cooking that weird? Sure, the ingredient choice is different, but..."
The fact that someone who could go eat somewhere else still chose to take advantage of Riou's hospitality really ticked Dice off. Everything about Doppo ticked him off. He thought about just up and leaving, but… food.
Riou reentered the room holding various dishes. At the sight of him - and more importantly, the meal he was holding - Dice perked up. "Woohoo! Thanks so much, Riou-san!"
"Thanks for your hospitality," Doppo said in turn.
"You're welcome." He set the dishes across the table. "I caught a whole flock of sparrows this morning, so the main dish is a ground sparrow and vegetable soup. I collected various mushrooms and herbs for the sides. I hope you enjoy them."
Dice was ignoring the explanation and scarfing down his food. Better to not think about the source.
Doppo apparently didn't feel the same way. "Sparrows? I've heard they're a delicacy in France…" He took a heaping spoonful. "Oh! The meat is... crunchy?"
"Keeping the bones in allows for a stronger broth," Riou explained.
Doppo nodded. "I see. It can't be easy to debone them, anyways." He kept eating.
Dice had never seen anyone except himself continue to eat Riou's food once they knew what was in it.
They appreciated the food in silence for a bit, until Doppo had the gall to try to make small talk. "So, Arisugawa-kun, if you're here, has your luck run out, lately…?"
"Of course not! My luck'll never run out. Losing just means you're getting closer to hitting the jackpot, don't you know? My net worth is still, hm," he fished around in the pocket of his jacket, "205 yen. Oh, I could buy a scratch-off."
"I see. Best of luck to you, then."
"I don't need your shitty luck."
"S-… sorry." Doppo looked back down into his food.
Dice thought about telling him off for apologizing, but that would be rude to the food. And to Riou. Who, even if he hadn't said anything, didn't look too happy about his guests getting along so poorly. Fine, Dice would play nice. "What were you teaching him earlier, Riou-san?"
"We were making shredded rhinoceros beetle meat over rice," Riou answered.
Any surprise at Riou's culinary choices having been long since abandoned, he asked, "How's that taste?"
"It's alright," Doppo answered. "I'm not very good at making it. I'll probably have to use crab at home, though, so maybe that's easier…"
"You lose the sweetness with crab," Riou reminded him.
"That's true… It would be a different dish. I'm not sure I could do it justice. I can't really cook in the first place, and end up troubling Hifumi, so he makes all the meals. I guess I shouldn't really try to stretch myself too thinly, but I don't want to be a burden. In the end that's just how it goes with me. I can't really do anything properly, I have to depend on others, and I don't, I, I, I- ...Arisugawa-kun, did you just take that out of my bowl?"
"Ah? Damn. Thought you weren't paying attention." Dice shoved the morsel of food in his mouth before anyone could ask him to give it back. He didn't mention the other bites he'd taken before the one Doppo finally noticed, and quickly changed subjects. "Your boyfriend makes food for you? How cute," he snarked.
Doppo blushed. Dice'd already done the "boyfriend" tease once and it didn't get a response, but this time he noticed. "Hifumi's not… We're not-" He made a frustrated noise and receded in on himself. "Doesn't matter, anyways."
Eugh, maybe Dice shouldn't have teased him. He dropped it.
"Indeed," Riou said, "since marriage between men was eliminated when the Kotonoha Party took power."
"Eh?" Dice looked at Riou, lost.
Doppo hummed in agreement, and Dice looked at him, too, seeking explanation. Doppo continued, "since marriage provides tax benefits, which men… aren't privy to."
Oh. Well, Dice had never had a reason to think that hard about taxes.
Riou took the empty bowls and left to the kitchen. "I'll bring out dessert."
"Thank you," said the other two in unison.
"Sooo," Dice started, thinking about pointless questions to ask to keep the conversation going, "if you could get married… would you?"
"Yes," Doppo said without hesitation.
What kind of weird relationship did those two have? Dice snorted. "He's not your boyfriend, but you'd marry him?"
"We'd pay less taxes with a shared bank account."
Dice stared in disbelief. How could this goddamn salaryman take something as thrilling as a forbidden romance and make it so horrendously banal? So devoid of any passion whatsoever? Marrying his fucking housemate for fucking tax benefits. "Man, fuck you."
Doppo sputtered, but couldn't get any words out.
"Dessert," Riou called, finally emerging. "Knotweed flour cake."
The two just barely managed to once again put aside their differences long enough to eat the cake.