Detective Amanda Rollins sat on the bus on her way to work. She had had a rough couple of weeks. First, she had gotten shot twice during a child sex ring break in. Then her sister Kim died of a cocaine overdose. She had gone to Atlanta last weekend for her funeral. On top of that, her dog Frannie had gotten sick the other day. It was just a minor stomach disease, but it pained her to see her dog throwing up. Plus, she desperately missed Declan and felt so alone with just her and Jesse.

The bus driver had the radio playing and Amanda perked up when the next song came
on.

"Hold Hold on Hold on to me 'Cause I'm a little unsteady A little unsteady Hold Hold on Hold on to me 'Cause I'm a little unsteady A little unsteady."

"I'm really unsteady," thought Amanda. "My life has been crap."

"Mama, come here Approach, appear"

Amanda felt a lump in her throat. She had never been close with her mother; she had always liked Kim better. She had seen her last weekend at the funeral. In spite of their past, they both cried and hugged. Now all she wanted to do was hug her mother or anyone else that would protect her. She felt embarrassed for thinking she needed to be protected, after all she was 37. But right now, she just wanted to be a kid again.

"Daddy I'm alone 'Cause this house don't feel like home"

Amanda started to think about her father, who left her when she was a kid. She had felt all alone throughout most of her adult life, without her mother and sister for much support. That was why she turned to gambling, as it gave her a pleasure she had never felt. Her father was also a gambling addict, so she also felt like she was impressing her father.

"If you love me Don't let go If you love me Don't let go"

This really made Amanda miss Declan. He was still working undercover with a large sex ring. She knew he loved her and Jesse, but he had to go. Working at SVU was not best for him.

"Hold Hold on Hold up to me 'Cause I'm a little unsteady A little unsteady Hold Hold on Hold up to me 'Cause I'm a little unsteady A little unsteady"

Amanda was now on the verge of tears. She wanted someone to hold onto her, but there was no one. She didn't know anyone on the bus.

"Mother I know That you're tired of being alone"

"I am tired of being alone," thought Amanda.

"Dad I know you're trying To fight when you feel like flying"

"I just want to get off of this bus, go home and cry," thought Amanda. "But I need to fight these tears. I can't be a baby…"

"But if you love me Don't let go If you love me Don't let go"

"Don't let go," Amanda said to herself. "Keep holding on and stay calm."

Hold Hold on Hold up to me 'Cause I'm a little unsteady A little unsteady

That was it for Amanda. She buried her face in her jacket and burst into tears.

"Hold Hold on Hold up to me 'Cause I'm a little unsteady A little unsteady"

"I can't hold on," thought Amanda through her tears. "There's nothing to hold on to."

"Hold Hold on Hold up to me 'Cause I'm a little unsteady A little unsteady"

As the song finished, most of the tears had leaked out of Amanda, but she was still crying a little bit. She stared into the window. Her face was bright red and there was makeup all over her eyes and cheeks.

Then the bus got to her stop. She stood up, got off the bus and walked into the precinct.