Title- Unattainable

Author- PTBvisiongrrl

Part- 1/4

Date- 9/5/10

Rating – M

Pairings/Characters- Gibbs/Tony, Gibbs/Tony/Abby

Spoilers- through Season Three, Bloodbath, then AU (obviously )

WARNINGS- Explicit; depicts slash and multiple partner sex. If this makes you uncomfortable, DON'T READ.

Disclaimers- Unfortunately, I don't own any of these characters, and make absolutely no profit from taking them out to play…although Gibbs and Tony can frisk and cuff me ANYTIME, and Abby is a goddess.

Author's Note:

This is the first long NCIS fic I have written, and only the 2nd or 3rd one I've even posted. Given all those unfinished stories I have left in other fandoms (many of which may be horrendously delayed, but are not truly dead, I promise), I am trying something new here. I have actually finished this entire story already—and will simply post a chapter a week.

Part One – Drinks and Conversation

Her court suit had long since been discarded for her usual Goth clothing. In true Abby fashion, after taking down her professional hitman attacker herself and then being subjected to tough cross examination while impugning her science, all Abs wanted to do was hang out in her nice safe, reassuring lab for a bit. Running tests, typing up reports, and watching the feet of people walking by her window, Abby was able to keep her thoughts away from recent events fairly easily. She did not want to think back on the exposure her stalkers has caused for her, the embarrassments of her life laid out so blatantly in front of her friends—in front of Gibbs, of all people.

So she concentrated on her job until long after she should have gone home. When she couldn't help but feel her energy flagging, she tossed her empty Caf-Pow cup into the trashcan before finally deciding to call it a day. Since her stalker was in custody and the contract killer after her all locked up as well, she could finally go home and relax.

Not that staying with Gibbs wasn't, under normal circumstances, an enjoyable experience. It was something she treasured, as painful as it was to be that close to her silver-haired fox without work to distract her from her feelings about him. But the stress of the past few days—the undeniable shame at everyone who mattered in her life finding out about Mikel Mawher—and her recently erratic, though understandable, behavior at someone trying to kill her—had fatigued her to the point that nothing but a night of decent sleep in her own coffin, in her own apartment, with no one body-guarding her would fix.

Or so she thought. Just as she began shutting down her babies for the night, Tony appeared in her doorway, black leather jacket gleaming under the flourescent lights and backpack slung casually over his shoulder. "Abby? You almost done for the day?"

Switching off Major Mass Spec with a gentle pat good night, Abby nodded. "Yeah. Its been a long few days, and I can't wait to go home, finally."

"Think I could persuade you to come out for a drink first?" Tony asked, fixing his smooth smile in place. "Or even dinner?"

"I love you, Tony, and I appreciate the thought," she sighed. "But I just want my own place tonight."

Turning on the DiNozzo charm to a level that even Abby usually found hard to refuse, Tony gave her the crushed, puppy-dog eyes look. "Please? My treat, your choice of place?"

Taking off her white lab coat, Abby walked past Tony towards her office. Putting the coat onto a hanger, she exchanged the hanger for her thick, black wrap-around cape. Frowning at him, but unable to refuse, she reluctantly agreed to just one drink, at the nearby bar they tended to hang out in after a particularly grueling case. The 1,000 watt smile in answer made it worth the effort, even if it meant putting off seeing her own comfortable home for another hour.

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

Taking one of two empty, side-by-side stools at the bar, Abby noticed that there weren't many people tonight, a fact she was glad of. In her current state, she was not the usual happy-to-be-around-people Goth. She was in a funk, one that was better than while she thought her life was in danger, but not by much. Ordering a Red Bull and Vodka, Abby unwrapped herself and draped the cape over the back of her barstool. Tony did the same with his leather jacket, having left his pack in his car.

When their drinks came, Tony took a deep pull on his long-neck beer and sat and studied Abby. She could feel his eyes on her, could tell that he wanted to ask her something. Dammit, maybe this hadn't been the best idea. His question was about her poor judgement in men, no doubt, something she really didn't want think about right now. "You have something you want to say, Tony?" she asked, her voice huskier than usual with fatigue.

He half-smiled at her. "I do. But I also don't want you to stun gun me or something equally horrible."

She laughed despite herself. "I only stun gun those who threaten me with bodily harm. Mental anguish—" she laughed bitterly again, taking a drink—"I'm more subtle with."

"Yeah," Tony stumbled on his words. "I mean, I gotta ask, Abs—I know you told us why Michael Mawher, and those were reasonable explanations…. Its not easy finding someone who gets what we do, the crazy hours, why we bother. And you are all science-y to boot, unluck us dumb fieldies…" He paused to see if he had gotten a smile yet; not achieving his goal, he pushed on anyway. "At any rate, you aren't alone in this. All of us have made dumb dating choices that didn't seem so stupid at the time. Hell, look at how many times Gibbs has been married!"

This was not making Abby look any happier. But he needed to say what he had to say; Abby in a situation like this, thinking she had to be alone because she was embarrassed, nearly broke his heart. If she only knew how thoroughly all of NCIS were wrapped around her little finger. "I understand not telling McGee. But why didn't you come to me for help when Mikel started his psycho shit? Even if you didn't want Gibbs to know, I could have helped."

Abby shook her head. "Gibbs knows all. You might not have wanted to tell him, but he'd have found out somehow."

"So it was just because of Gibbs that you didn't tell me?" Tony asked again, pushing. His handsome features were marred by his concerns, wrinkling his forehead just a touch. "Or did you think that I couldn't help? Wasn't up for?"

The tone of his voice made her pause. Why hadn't she gone to him? Despite his playful persona, Tony was a damn good agent and friend. He could have helped her, and wouldn't have killed Mikel, if she had asked. So why hadn't she?

There had been a time when she was seriously secretly crushing on Tony, too, before she realized the futility—she had a bad habit of falling for the unattainable. Tony had gone from playboy handsome to really handsome, a gentle seasoning with a faint wrinkle here, a gray hair barely noticable there, in his eight years at NCIS. Abby had appreciated each stage, hot new guy in the office all the way through real guy, even if she hadn't let Tony know. If a relationship with Gibbs would never happen, then neither would one with love-em-and-leave-em Tony. Tony, though, would at least have been a few good rolls in the hay first.

So she hadn't wanted Tony to know she could be so stupid anymore than she had wanted Gibbs to know. It wasn't just for Mikel's safety that she had kept things to herself. Shaking off her contemplative mental state, she shrugged. "I'm not saying this was a shining moment of intelligence here, Tony, but I just really didn't want anyone to know what an idiot I had been."

"Well, you've never been posted to the Herpes web site," he grinned, taking another drink. "Or accused of murder. I think I've had my share of stupid moments, too."

"This wasn't just a stupid moment, and this wasn't something someone else did to me, Tony," Abby felt tears welling up. "This was what I did. This was my mistake. I was too embarrassed to go to anyone until it was really bad. Even then the police didn't want to help me, and it's their damn job!" The memory of how the police had insinuated that it was her fault for encouraging a psycho—Tony hadn't been the only one to point out the straight jacket purchase—made her face feel heated yet again.

"Abby—" Tony took her hand, cupping her face in the other in an odd moment of tenderness, she thought—"please don't be embarrassed to come to any of us for help, especially me. I want you to trust me, to be able to count on my help. I'm not Gibbs, I'm not going to go shoot someone for making a pass at you or something."

"Gibbs wouldn't shoot someone for something THAT simple," Abby laughed.

Tony quirked an eyebrow up. "If you say so, Abs."

"He's just over protective of me because he sees me like a daughter," Abby grimaced, taking another drink. How that thought bothered her, she would never divulge to anyone.

Tony let go of her face and squeezed her hand before letting go of that, too. "So you think. Seriously, you can't tell he's checking out your ass every time you bounce in front of us in one of those little skirts?"

"Tony!" came the bark behind them, making Abby and Tony both wince and color in embarrassment. Bad enough to be discovered discussing Gibbs at all, much less this topic. The head slap was harder than usual, even to Abby's ears. The look on Tony's face was not his usual grin and bear the pain, though.

"Dammit, Lee, you are not supposed to do that outside of work!" Tony hissed angrily at Gibbs.

"Did Tony just call you Lee?" Abby questioned, looking from one man to the other in puzzlement.

"I was hoping I'd find you two here," Gibbs continued on as if that moment hadn't happened. "I missed you leaving the office, and I wanted to make sure you weren't alone tonight, Abs."

"She would like to be, Boss," Tony spat out, clearly upset at Gibbs's appearance. "But with enough of the DiNozzo charm, she folded and agreed to a drink first to humor me."

Gibbs leaned in and brushed a kiss against Abby's temple, wrapping an arm protectively around her. "You've been through a lot the past couple days. I just wanted to make sure that you were all right. You know that my door is always open."

Abby nodded. "Thanks, Gibbs, but I think I'm okay now."

"Next time you have a problem—anything, Abbs, you need help with—you need to let me know." The bartender had appeared, and Gibbs ordered a bourbon, sliding into the now-empty barstool next to Abby. "Don't be embarrassed to ask, please. We need you around, sweetie, for a good long time."

Taken aback by the term of endearment—something Gibbs had never indulged in before—made Abby start putting some pieces together. The puzzle was incomplete, but she suddenly realized that maybe she had been missing important pieces before, pieces that would fill it in more to her liking. But that brought her back to her initial question resulting from Gibbs's appearance. Concentrating on a new puzzle distracted her from her embarrassment at the recent situation, however. "Why did Tony call you Lee, Gibbs?"

Gibbs didn't answer, simply taking another sip from his glass. Abby gave him a few moments of not answering before turning to Tony. "Why did you call him Lee?"

Tony scowled at Gibbs. "Tell her, Lee."

The hot look Gibbs gave back to Tony made Abby cringe, but Tony ignored it stoically. "Well, gentlemen, whatever is going on here, if you aren't going to talk to me, then I can head home—" she finished the statement by throwing back her drink and gathering her things up to go, hoping the Gibbs wouldn't call her bluff and send her home without an answer.

Gibbs's hand on her arm stilled her. "Not here. Come back to my house with us?"

Tony's face looked stormy, but Abby nodded her consent. "Yeah, I can do that." Throwing money down to cover their drinks, Gibbs led the three of them in donning outerwear and heading to their cars.