This was just a little idea I had. No flames please.
Alternate Universe based, takes place in modern times. I got the title from the song "I'm Stepping Out" by John Lennon. I own nothing.
Reviews are appreciated. T for excessive alcohol and drug use.
I apologize in advance for any spelling or grammar mistakes. I'm pretty sure the rest is speaks for itself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~:D
She really had to wonder what she was doing here.
First of all, tea parties had never really been her thing.
Secondly, her mother would positively murder her should she be discovered in this situation.
And finally, the smoke snaking about from the center of the table was beginning to give off a queer stench. There was no way she'd be returning to the garden party smelling clean. What am I doing!? I must be crazy! This whole thing is stupid stupid-
"STUPID YOU'VE DONE IT WRONG!"
The sound of a cup dropping, followed by frantic coughing. It took a few seconds for Alice to register that she was the one emitting the racket, and was having a hell of a time catching her breath for the matter.
"S-sorry-" she managed between gasps. She could feel her face heating up from embarrassment. Normally, she wouldn't have experienced such a hiccup, but this was a bit different from the rolled up receipts in her car. The face that appeared in front of her reassured her politely.
"Oh no, not you Alice. You're fine. I was merely pointing out that Thackery over there used WAY TOO MUCH COAL!" he spat over his shoulder. Thackery simply huffed and turned away in a childish matter. "Here let's fix this for you then, ey?" A pair of tweezers were produced, and soon the black material that spotted the tin foil cover of the device was removed and replaced with much smaller bits. "There, nice and even. The smoke shouldn't be so harsh now, though I do advise you to take it easy Alice. A little bit of this goes a long ways."
And with that, Tarrant stood up, taking the hookah and plate of Cheese-Itz with him. Alice blinked, suddenly realizing that he'd been standing on the table. Not only that, but he'd made it all the way to the end without disturbing so much as a spoon. How in the world does he walk with his shoes untied like that?
"Sorry Alice, my mistake," came Thackery's voice. She had to smirk, as it gushed fake compassion. "Tea?"
"Yes please," replied Alice after coughing again. She hesitated, then took the cup from his extended hand with a skeptical look, perhaps half expecting it to be poisoned.
"Well it isn't poisoned if that's what you're thinking," Thackery snapped, folding his arms in distaste. Alice rolled her eyes and looked at the black liquid. Of course it wouldn't be poisoned. Thackary hardly seemed sinister. He was much too laid back. Now, laced with laxatives as a practical joke? Alice wouldn't put that onepast him. However, her thoughts were interupted by an annoyed cough, and the burning in her chest was begging to be alleviated. So Alice took a swig of the tea...and quickly spat it out.
"What- what is that!?"
"Well it wasn't poison," chimed Tarrant. Thackery laughed manically, producing a flask from his sleeve.
"Keeps you warm, ey?" he said in a thick English accent and laughed, rubbing his hands together frantically. Tarrant laughed suddenly, expelling a large amount of smoke.
"'Twas a long winter, yes?"
"The worst!"
"However did you make it through sir?"
"I ate my children!" Thackery proclaimed, standing at his seat. Tarrant laughed hysterically, accidentally throwing himself into a coughing fit in the process. Thackery giggled and took a swig from his flask. "Seriously though, Alice, it's only 1800." He returned to his seat and drank from his own tea cup lazily. "Gives it a bit of flavor, am I right?"
"Well it certainly doesn't taste much like tea anymore."
"Sugar?"
"Alright."
"Catch," smiled Thackery before flinging several small cubes in Alice's direction. She frowned, picking them up from the table cloth and her lap. A thud to her left indicated that Tarrant had moved down a seat. He stared at her dreamily with his elbow resting on the table.
"Oh don't mind him, he tends to get violent when he drinks. Loves to throw things you see-" Tarrant was cut off mid stream by a flying muffin. He glared across the table.
"Just helping you prove a point," grinned Thackery innocently. "And I'd watch out if I were you! He get's all touchy-feeler when he smokes!" Thackery motioned to Alice over his tea.
"He's a child."
"You're a child!" Thackery spat back before gulping down the rest of his cup. Tarrant shot him a mock threat, raising his free hand into a claw like pose. Thackery giggled at this. "Love youuuu!" he sang before pouring himself another cup of tea.
"So, garden parties?" Asked Tarrant, attempting to start a conversation.
"Yes. My mom drags me to them."
"You aren't dressed for a formal occasion."
"She's eager to please the wealthy side of the family, I'm not." replied Alice, allowing her disgust for the events to present itself.
"Your mom agrees with the band t-shirts and ripped jeans?"
"Well of course not. It took forever for her to give up on trying to make me dress formal."
"I think formal's alright sometimes." Tarrant muttered, motioning to his own clothing. Alice took a sip from the cup in her hands, wincing at the taste.
"Well yeah, when you're dressed like you it is."
"Who's to say you wouldn't look nice in a dress?" This time Thackery succeeded in striking Tarrant in the side of the face with a muffin. "YOU ALREADY HELPED ME PROVE A POINT!"
"Ah, but this time I was trying for something else entirely!"
"And?"
"AND I've saved Alice from a terrible situation!" Thackery exclaimed. "Alice! He's trying to seduce you!"
"He's drunk," Tarrant assured. "I wasn't trying to-" this time it was a handful of Cheese-Itz that cut him off.
"DON'T LISTEN TO HIM AND HIS FILTHY EASTERN WAYS! HE'S A DIRTY DOG!" continued Thackery. Tarrant only pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance, clearly giving up on healthy conversation. "Have a look, I'm a walrus!" Thackery announced, sticking two tooth picks into his upper lip. Tarrant's mouth twitched once before curling into a reluctant smile. "GOO GOO GA 'JOOB!" Another fit of laughter broke the air. It was absurd, but it beat the hell out of another garden party.
Alice grimaced at the thought of them. Why her mother would even want to be accepted by her dead father's side of the family aggravated her. He had, after all, left all of that behind him for a reason. Money wasn't everything, and children grew up to be much more level headed when they actually had to work for what they wanted. Handing them everything would turn any child into a snob. Sure, they could've been "better off" had her father accepted help in starting his family, but now that he was gone, her mother's attempts at sucking up to the Kingsleigh's was nothing short of tacky.
As Alice allowed her mind to wander further, she reflected on the people seated at the table with her.
Finding them had been a bit of an accident really. She'd stumbled upon their get together in the woods with a severe hangover, attempting to get away from the noise and scent of fish at the estate. Tarrant had been sitting with his feet propped upon the table in a daze, muttering things that made no sense to Thackary, who'd been drinking from his cup like a fish out of water. When Alice had sat down at the far end of the table that day, the two had surveyed her with a skeptical look, most likely attempting to figure out if she was real or not. The table had reeked of pot and baked goods.
"Who are you?"
"Alice," she replied hesitantly.
"Thackery," said the brown haired fellow on her left as he introduced himself. He gave her a playful wave. "That's Tarrant over there," he said pointing to the figure at the end of the table. Tarrant removed his hat revealing a shock of heavily dyed orange hair that was beginning to grow out at the roots.
"Hey how's it goin'?" He replaced his hat after giving his head a good scratch.
"Sorry, he's usually the chattier one, but he's a bit indisposed at the moment," Thackery continued. "Anyway, what're you doing away from the party? Not exciting enough for you?"
"Please. I can't take much sarcasm today," Alice replied lowering her head to the table. Thackery raised an eyebrow. "Hungover...."
"Oh, well in that case, I've got just the thing!" Thackery motioned to Tarrant, who passed a large green tea pot down the table. Thackery poured Alice a cup and handed it to her proudly. "Brewed fresh this mornin'!"
"What is it?"
"It's tea silly!" he replied, taken aback. Alice drank it without further question.
The rest of the meeting was a blur, but Alice had stumbled back to the garden party no longer suffering from the effects of her previous alcohol binge.
A steady bubbling noise snapped her from her thoughts. Thackery had moved down a few seats so that he was now to Alice's right. He puffed at the device lazily, propping his feet upon the table. Alice mentally noted that he was sporting purple high-tops.
"Could you uh, pass the tea please?" she questioned. Thackery raised his eyebrows at her, unsure as to whether she was really addressing him or not.
"Oh please! I'll get it!" Tarrant shouted, standing up quickly. A mistake, for he immediately sank to the ground and remained there, paralyzed from laughter. "Nevermind!" Thackery shook his head knowingly and handed Alice the green tea pot to his right. It was the same she'd recieved on their first meeting. She'd know it anywhere.
"See what you think 'o that!" Thackery grinned.
"Don't worry! We made it just the way you like it! Just like that onnne tiiiiime!" Tarrant sang from the bottom of the table. "It's MINTYYYYY!" Alice nodded, pouring the contents into her empty cup.
"I'll be sure to take note of the minty-ness. Thanks," she replied taking a sip. When she looked up again, Thackery was looking at her expectantly. Tarrant had pulled himself back up to the table to look at her as well. She looked at the two for a minute before breaking the silence. "It's delicious."
"DID YOU HEAR THAT!? ALICE THINKS IT'S DELICIOUS!" Thackery shouted, throwing Cheese-Itz into the air.
"OH! FRABJOUS DAY!" shouted Tarrant, before kicking his chair backwards from the table and onto the ground. Thackery jumped to the table top, nearly falling over in the process.
"Hey! Get up! Get up!" he yelled to his fallen comrade, throwing a series of spoons at him.
"Sorry, can't feel my legs!"
"Uh guys!" The two silenced themselves to look toward Alice. She motioned toward a man who'd chosen to survey the scene from a distance. A wandering guest from the garden party. Alice had seen him there earlier. How long had he been standing there?
"Why don't 'cha take a picture? It'll last longer," Tarrant waved, chin barely propped up onto the table. He blew the man a kiss before giggling insanely.
"W-what is all this then?" The man asked, eyes widening. "A-Alice! Your mother's been looking all over for you ya know!"
"And she'll find her when Alice is ready to leave," Thackery threatened, raising one remaining spoon in his hand.
"Which could be like, next week for all we know. Alice loves us ALOT," Tarrant giggled, patting Alice on the hand. He still hadn't managed to pull himself into his seat.
"Tell her I'm coming," Alice instructed. The man continued to stand, however, still surveying the scene before him.
"Go on! Get out then! You weren't invited to tea!" Thackery shouted, throwing the spoon. The man left quickly. "Sometime you just gotta give 'em that extra PUSH." Thackery grinned triumphantly before jumping down from the table. The motion wasn't at all graceful though, and he ended up on his face. Alice waited for the two to pull themselves together before speaking again.
"Guys, listen, I should really get going."
"What? Nooooo," Thackery whined. Tarrant looked absolutely crushed.
"You'll be back though right?" he asked quickly. Alice had opened her mouth to answer when something else grasped her attention. Thackery had grown rabbit ears. They were plain as day. She stared silently, causing Thackery to look around nervously.
"Y-yeah of course I'll be back," Alice finally managed to answer. "Mum comes to these things regularly. If you guys are still out here next time I'll stop-" She had to stare again.
"What?" questioned Tarrant, a frightened look beginning to grace his features.
"Your eyes are really...like....green." He raised an eyebrow. "No I mean, they're SUPER green. Like a cat or something."
"Alright..."
"And if you think that sounds crazy, Thackery has rabbit ears! Look at him!" Tarrant exchanged a look with his friend and once again broke out into a fit of giggles.
"I think she's enjoyed your tea a bit too much Thack."
"I was just going to say the same thing." he replied, cracking another grin. Alice looked about the area. Quite frankly, her head was beginning to spin a bit. She looked at the two in disbelief.
"I can't feel my head," she stated dumbly, unsure as to what else could be said.
"Really?"
"Yeah, it's like it isn't there. I can't feel it. How am I thinking right now? How am I TALKING?" The two had to laugh when she raised her voice like that. Tarrant stood up from the table to extend an arm to her.
"It's alright, calm down," he said, pulling her up from her seat.
"How can you two be so calm about this? I don't even know what the hell is going on right now!"
"Alice, you've ingested a hallucinogenic drug, you're a little high right now. That's all." He patted her on the arm reassuringly. "And you talking this way is actually starting to freak me out a little too."
"Oh alright," she replied, allowing him to guide her away from the table. "Oh bloody hell. I have to leave with my mom. What am I going to do?"
"Just try not to freak out while you're in the car with her, alright?"
"Oh alright." She looked to her new friend's face again curiously. "Hey Tarrant?"
"Yeah?"
"Your eyes are green." He smiled sheepishly.
"Okay."
"Just thought you should know."
The car ride home had been nothing short of extraordinary. Alice's eyes grew wide with every passing obstacle. Colors and noises blended together. Her mother had to scold her first for sticking her head out the window, then again for turning the music up too loud. She was in the process of flipping continuously (and rather obsessively) through radio stations when her mother turned the volume off.
"Alice what has gotten into you? Where were you today?" Alice looked at her, eyes wide. She responded with the first thing that popped into her head. I was at a psychedelic tea party.
"Well, I uh, made some friends," Alice replied, still looking out the window. She smiled silently to herself. Her mother seemed to light up at this.
"That sounds nice. What are their names?"
"Thackery and Tarrant."
"I meant their last names dear. Who are their parents?"
"Oh, I forgot to ask." Her mother only nodded absentmindedly.
"How did you meet them?"
"They invited me to tea," Alice replied, resisting the urge to giggle.
"How lovely," her mother commented. Alice had to laugh at this. Oh you have no idea. "What's so funny?"
"Nothing, nothing. It was pretty great is all. They're funny."
"Who is dear?"
"My friends."
"Right." Her mother adjusted the air temperature in the car. "So I trust you'll be joining me next Friday then?" she asked, flashing her daughter a smile.
"Of course. Thackery's making brownies."
"Likes to bake then, does he?"
"Oh quite frequently. I really think he should talk to someone about it, but that's just my opinion."
"Well then." Her mother seemed to be enjoying the conversation with a sense of humor for once. "What about the other one then. What did you say his name was dear?"
"Tarrant."
"Right. What's he like?" He has green eyes. Like a cat.
"Well, I'm supposed to help him re-dye his hair soon. It's neon orange." Her mother laughed lightly.
"Oh my. Be sure to wear gloves though, those dyes stain." Alice nodded. Her mother had said something else but she hadn't caught it. She was too busy staring down the radio which seemed to be smiling at her.
"What was that?"
"I'm glad that you've made some friends. It really means alot to me that you go with to these parties Alice."
"Oh, right." Alice turned to stare out the window again.
Garden parties weren't the only places she'd ran into Thackery and Tarrant. She'd once bumped into them - quite literally- after seeing a movie in town with a few of her friends. Thack of course had been piss drunk, which was only expected (it being a Friday night and all,) so she doubted he'd remember any of it. Tarrant had seemed sober enough, though god only knows what drugs he'd ingested earlier that night. He'd looked at her with a sense of recognition before giving her a nod and continuing on with his drunk friend.
After that, the two seemed to pop up wherever she went. Grocery stores, the mall, down town, movies, local shows, etc. Alice had even sworn that she'd seen Tarrant around the hallways in her high school. Either that or somebody else had taken the time to dye their whole head of hair neon orange. She half suspected that the two had been there the entire time, figures in a background sea of people. She'd just never known it until accepting their 'hospitality' one lazy Sunday afternoon.
"I'll understand if you don't want to Alice, but we've been invited to stay at the estate Friday night. They're expecting a big turn out. Wedding party."
Alice only grinned like a Cheshire cat in response. ~
Sorry if I've bored you to sleep. Thinking of making it a two-piece. Not sure yet.
Accepting requests should they arise.
If not, hey, at least I've gotten this ludicrous idea out of my skull.