Hewo. :3 So... another oneshot in a couple days... VINCENT! (Yes, we all know how much I love Vincent...)

Anywayy... Vincent humor is hard to write. ^3^ He's awesome and all, but he's definitely more dark... So I had to rely on the outer chracter in order to write this, but it wasn't awful in my opinion... (Probly cause I wrote it. ^.^''') I really do think he was of character though...

Well, I hope you enjoy!

It was a normal day in the Nightray manor.

Vanessa Nightray was entertaining herself doing whatever Vanessa did in her spare time (Vincent hadn't really cared enough to find out) and Mother was hiding up in her room like a bat in the belfry. Father was meeting in his office with a shady character of some sort, as usual. Gilbert wasn't there at all, also as usual.

Loud piano notes were ringing through the air in a haunting and sad yet simply beautiful melody. Either Elliot or Leo was playing- or maybe they were both playing, in which case Vanessa was sure to seek them out and scream about their inappropriate 'relationship'. ("Why must you settle to playing with that? I'll find you someone else! A noble!") to which Elliot would respond with something cheesy about how Leo was not a 'that' and he played with him because they were friends, and then Vanessa would scream back, completely destroying any illusion of peace left in the Nightray household until the fight escalated to blows, at the end of which they would go sit in opposite corners of the house and sulk until dinner.

While Vincent would be left to hum quite loudly in order to drown out the screaming while he sliced things up with his pretty scissors. (No Lottie today, she had said something about 'needing a break from you, you freak' which Vincent had taken as a compliment- it was always good to drive a good woman crazy.) And maybe if he felt like it, he would make Echo buy him some chocolate, or he could go and harass Gil at Pandora.

"Master Vincent," Echo said in a robotic servant-tone. Vincent turned to smile at his –cute!- little servant. "It is almost tea-time, Master Vincent."

"Ah, so it would seem." Vincent turned to look at his clock- not that it worked of course, he much preferred to have the time stuck at exactly five o'clock. That way he would never get the time wrong at five o'clock. "What will we be having today, Echo~?"

Echo stared at him for moment, and Vincent actually thought she might be developing a sense of frustration –what happened to cute little Echo?- before saying, "The same thing we do every tea time, Master Vincent. Tea and chocolate cakes."

"I see, I see." Vincent chortled as returned to decapitating the pink bunny rabbit in his hands. (Of all the stuffed animals, bunnies were the most fun to mutilate.) So far, it was missing an eye- or a bead, at least. "And when is tea time?"

"Five o'clock," Echo said patiently.

Vincent eyed Echo from the corners of his eyes. His cute little servant with her short silvery hair! He would teach her to despise all other girls and never make fawny-fawny eyes at a boy, and she would never be like those stupid socialites at the parties who made goo-goo eyes at him and his Gil- he stabbed the rabbit particularly harshly.

"Master Vincent," Echo said, "You're daydreaming."

"Was I?" Vincent chuckled and bent his head over the rabbit to chop its ear off. "Very well then, Echo, dispose of this mess before five o'clock."

Echo stared at him emotionlessly. "Master Vincent…"

"Yes, Echo?"

"How am I to know when it is five o'clock?"

Vincent stopped to ponder this for a second, setting down his scissors and rubbing his chin with one hand. "I know! I'll come in and tell you when it's five o'clock," Vincent said in a very pleased way, and clapped his hands. (He really was a genius.) "Now get to work, little Echo!"

Her eyebrow twitched, which Vincent decided to interpret as a result of stress- was he putting too much stress on his little servant? Vincent pondered this all the way outside to his rose garden.

There were more animal bits out here- Vincent would have to get Echo to clean up out here sometime. Sometimes he liked to lean out the window while he snipped and watch the little bits fall all the way down to the green grass. Other times he brought the animals out here while he snipped. It was amazing the difference the smell of roses could make while you worked.

Then his mismatched eyes caught sight of the girl who was sitting in the dirt by a rosebush.

Vincent's eyebrow twitched.

He strode over to the girl calmly. She had short slightly wavy dark brown hair that fell just past her chin, and bangs that fell in her eyes. Vincent tapped her on the shoulder.

The girl swore- quite loudly- making Vincent twitch again. She hopped up, sending little pieces of stuffed animals flying all over the place. He glared in response.

"What are you doing here?"

She frowned and bent down to pick up the stuffed animal pieces. "Isn't it obvious?" she snapped. "I'm picking up."

"Did the maids send you to do that?" Vincent asked quite calmly.

For the first time, her pretty face showed just the tiniest bit of trepidation. She straightened up and smoothed out her black dress. "Erm, yes. They did. I'm picking up stuffed animal pieces."

Vincent narrowed his eyes. Liar. Liar.

Huffily, she crossed her arms and glared back. "Well? Are you going to let me do my job or keep on questioning me?"

He smiled disarmingly and inclined his head. "Of course not, miss. Please continue on."

"I'll do that." She stared suspiciously until Vincent backed off and returned to the Nightray manor, his head filled up with questions

He wandered back to his room. (Was it five o'clock yet? It was on his clock, in which case he could maybe make Echo get him some cake in return for not being done by five.) Echo (mush to his surprise) was already done, which meant no cake till tea time at five- wait, was it five yet? (Vincent could see how his logic was a bit flawed.)

"Done already, Echo?" Vincent said innocently.

Echo frowned- or maybe that was just her expression?- at Vincent. "Yes, Master Vincent."

"Good, good." Vincent bobbed his head approvingly. (Such a cute little servant!) "Well, then, Echo? You wouldn't mind going to find the time, would you? My clock seems to be a bit inaccurate." Vincent smiled cheesily at this.

Echo stared at him for a long moment.

"Please?"

"Yes Master Vincent."

"Oh, and do tell the maids to bring the tea cart up."

"Yes Master Vincent."

Vincent smiled crookedly and shooed her from the room. (It really was fun giving Echo orders.) Would she eventually snap? Or would she always simply say 'Yes Master?'

The girl was still working outside his window. Vincent headed over to the window seat to watch her. Stupid girl. Stupid liar. She was picking up animal pieces and carting them over to where he had found her a few minutes ago. She hat down and- much to Vincent's horror- began putting it together.

"Echo!" Vincent yelled. He pressed his face up against the glass. "Echo! Echo!"

Echo reappeared in his door almost instantly, looking slightly frazzled. "What is it, Master Vincent?"

"Look!" Vincent yelped. He dragged her over to the window and pointed down at the deranged girl. "What is she doing!"

She said- in a tone that could have been boredom, or maybe flat sarcasm- "She appears to be putting stuffed animal pieces together, Master Vincent."

"I know that, but why?" he questioned. "Echo, go find out what she's doing with those!"

"As you wish, Master Vincent," Echo said.

She bowed politely and exited the room, leaving Vincent to fret at the window about whether to stop the girl or not. Echo soon appeared outside and exchanged aa quick few words with whoever the girl was, before leaving. She entered Vincent's room silently.

"Master Vincent."

Vincent whirled around and bit at his fingernails. "Well? Well?" he asked. "What did you find out?"

Echo stared at him with a deadpan. "It seems that she is going to sew them together again and hand them out to children at orphanages."

"Orphanages?" Vincent's eyes widened in horror. "But why?"

"I don't know, Master Vincent."

And so Vincent wondered.

He obsessed over it all through tea time (even forgetting to make Echo bring out millions of different cakes) and all through dinner, while that creepy Isla Yura talked to Mother and Father pretended he didn't exist and Vanessa and Elliot began arguing again, while Mother was eventually reduced to tears (while the Duke Nightray simply pretended it wasn't happening) and while Vanessa hit Vincent in the face with a roll. He thought about it while snipping the strings on the piano so that he wouldn't have to listen to another night of endless duets and afterwards while he prepared for bed. (He dreamed about mismatched animals in the hands of grubby toddlers in need of a wash.) And so he pondered it until tea time the next day, while he was at a meeting with Lotti and the Baskervilles.

"I've got it!"

Lily peered at him from behind Fang's back –such an annoying little girl- and asked the question they were all wondering: "Got what?"

"That girl of course," Vincent replied, and grinned cheekily. "I understand now!"

Lotti stared at him with barely cloaked disdain and flicked her peachy hair back with the tips of her fingers. "You're still obsessing about that?"

Vincent grinned at her in his usual seductive way and leaned forward. "Don't you wish to hear my revelation?"

"Shoot."

"Well, of course," he began, "she will be taking stuffed animals to give out to the orphanage. Such a despicable girl. She's using them to get the kids under her thumb so that she can use them when they grow up!"

A taut silence filled the air while Fang and Lotti exchanged a loaded look. Lily tried to stifle her giggles with her hands (failing miserably and prompting Vincent to hit her in the head with a chess piece.).

"Did it ever occur to your tiny mind... that she might be doing it simply to be nice?"

"Lotti, dear. That is competely riduculous."

Umm... I don't like this one. My comedic timing is off- although I think it's a little bit better written, it still feels incomplete... It's the humor part that doesn't fit in so well... Definitely not up to my usual standards. I wrote this much too fast. Vincent... you gotta love him, but he's not exactly prime comedy material...

Well, on another note, did anyone else like Vinceents twisted logic about the time? ^_^ I stole it from the original Alice in Wonderland... or the idea, at least. It was probably out of character, but, somehow, it seemed to fit the way Vincent's head works...

NOW. You must review!
REVIEW FOR THE POOR CHILDREN, LEST VINCNET MURDER THEM IN THE NIGHT TO GET HIS STUFFIES BACK! :o