A/n: Hello there! I just finished updating my blog, so forgive me if this sounds a bit depressing. This is a one-sided 8059 in this chapter. I won't tell you if this is in Yamamoto or Gokudera's POV, because I want you to find that out yourself, as you read. If I get enough feedback, I might make one in the other's POV.
So please review.
Warning: Implied shonen-ai. OOC.
Disclaimer: Yamamoto, Gokudera and the other Vongola people are not mine. Neither is the rain, which plays an important role here.
Beta Reader: Hello, Denzel. Ready to work?
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Stormy Weather
by
Here's Your Cheese Omelette
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It was raining that afternoon. School ended a long time before the first droplets began to fall; so this man, still in his uniform, did not have the unfortunate chance to get soaked by the rain.
Sitting comfortably in his bedroom, he leaned against one elbow propped up on a table. From where he sat on the floor, he was able to get a clear view from his window, and watched the town, as it was getting soaked by the rain.
Just as going to a tea house and seeing the calm landscape make you think, it was the same situation to this man, with the rain.
There was just something about rain that got one to think.
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Probably the thing I hate most about him is that he's so blind. His mind is set on one thing— just one thing— and he becomes oblivious to everything else around him.
Perhaps this is what people call a true idiot.
Yet I can't complain. It's not his fault he doesn't notice these feelings I harbor for him. Perhaps it is the way I acted that led him to misunderstand what kind of relationship I wanted to build between us.
Scowls and smiles, hostility and trust, anger and worry...
The things that go on between us are completely different that I sometimes wonder if I will ever get a chance to tell him how much I love him.
It is difficult.
So very difficult is this situation I am in.
Albeit a teenager, I am still a man after all. I have needs and desires that I want him to fulfill. I want to taste what that body has to offer me outside my dreams. The impulses I have are slowly becoming more and more dominant. Oftentimes, I have to use all my restraint not to jump him and let the ravishing begin.
...I am at a loss for words. My mind is so full of thoughts that I don't know where to begin. It, perhaps, is unusual for me to be like this. Some people would be shocked and dumbfounded, I'm sure.
I'm sure that no one suspected—or would believe—that I put this much thought into life. I'm not that stupid. I never was, but somehow, along the way, it was decided that this was to be my role in this world.
Eternally happy? Is that even possible?
I'm sure that people think all I have on my mind is baseball and 'games'.
I'll say it again, because only here can I express my being unsatisfied.
I am not stupid.
I realized long ago that what I got myself into wasn't a game. I knew what the Mafia was. I knew how serious things were getting.
Yet I continued to smile and play dumb.
...My role. That thought again...
I found out that people are really emotionally unstable. They need someone to look at and feel refreshed. The world needs a person to be pure and innocent, so that the rest of the world doesn't completely fall into darkness. They need someone to be a light, or, taking my Mafia role into consideration, become rain, and wash away their problems.
I don't mind doing that for Gokudera, Tsuna and everyone else; they are my friends, and I would gladly help them ease the burden. But to do it 24/7...it gets really tiring.
More than once, I've let a serious side slip out of my grinning mask. More than once, it was because of Gokudera...
That's not my point.
My point is that somewhere along my path of life, I volunteered to be the forever smiling guy. I won't wonder how, because obviously, I did something that made me the 'cheerful one'.
I wonder why, though.
It's not exactly easy.
It's actually quite stressful and tiring...
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Perhaps we will never understand the reasoning of this man, and maybe we will never know why Yamamoto decided to be the 'cheerful one'; for as he finished his last statement, dark eyes began to disappear behind closing eyelids.
It's funny. It seems that thinking really isn't the Vongola's resident baseball fanatic's strong point if he managed to tire himself out from just this—even if he says otherwise.
So perhaps he will never finish this train of thought. Perhaps, when he wakes up, he will be all smiles again; pushing away his problems as well as those of others.
Perhaps this is the burden of the rain. To be cool and refreshing little droplets, yet resembling tears at times. To be the light rain shower that awakens the spirit, or a powerful rainstorm that drowns out the noise as you cry.
Those of us who try to understand the mentality of this man will probably never succeed. Exactly why did Yamamoto choose such a future for himself?
People can speculate and reason all they want, but to those who are much, much closer to him, they have only one reason.
Yamamoto is just that kind of guy.
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A/n: Mai gahd, it sucks! I lost interest in this at '...My role. That thought again...'. I'm sorry for the rushed, crappy ending, but please do review. If I feel like it, I may put up a chapter in Gokudera's POV.
BC: I feel like hugging Yamamocchan ;A;
But he does make sense. Beautiful fic. It tries to answer why Yamamoto's like that… which is rare for an 8059. Good job, Minki. I'm sooooo proud :D
I enjoyed beta'ing this one a lot! Hahaha. Make a Gokkun POV~
There weren't any serious grammatical errors or stuff. The ones I edited were due to my OCness, so don't worry. I am SO happy you're doing really well. :P
A/n: Please review!