Undisclosed Desires

You trick your lovers that you're wicked and divine
You may be a sinner but your innocence is mine.
Please me; show me how it's done
Tease me; you are the one.

- Muse

Kate sat in the dark observation booth, staring- unseeing- out at the interrogation room. No one was in there, and Kate just stared at the holey wall. She'd chosen this dark room because it was empty. There was little chance anyone would find her here. She should have known Castle would go looking, though.

Rick opened the door, peeked in, saw it was dark and went to close the door again when he noticed a flash of paleness in the room. He stepped back inside and flipped on the lights.

"Kate?" he asked, surprised.

Kate put her hand up to shield her eyes, squinting and blinking rapidly in the sudden brightness. "What's up?"

"Why are you sitting in a dark room?" he asked in lieu of a response.

"What do you want, Castle?" she asked in lieu of answering.

"Well, the guys and I were just about to head over to the Haunt for drinks. You know, to celebrate closing that Marlowe case. You should come with us."

"Thanks, Castle, but I'm not really in the mood to go out tonight. You guys have fun though."

"Are you sure? You kinda look like you could use a drink."

She gave him a 'gee thanks,' look and then told him, "I'm just going to go home and go to bed."

"What about Motorcycle Boy?" Rick asked, though it was physically painful to do so. "He could keep you company; you look like you need it."

Kate looked away, trying to hide the sadness in her eyes and sounding overly casual when she said, "Oh right, I didn't tell you; that's over."

"You broke up with Dr. Boy?" Rick asked, concerned.

Looking back at him, Kate decided to joke. "You don't have to look so delighted about it."

But Rick frowned at her and said, "Do you see any delight?" Will she never understand the way I feel about her? Rick wondered. Anything that caused her pain- even if it meant she was single again- was a very bad thing in his mind. He only wanted her to be happy; she deserved to be happy. Even if it wasn't him that made her happy.

Kate didn't reply, knowing that her joke had fallen flat and not knowing what to say to fill the silence.

Finally, Rick stepped toward her, picked up one of her hands and gently began pulling. "Come on," he told her, taking charge for one of the few times in their relationship. "You're going out with us tonight."

Though she stood up when he pulled on her hand, Kate argued, "Castle, I told you, I really don't-"

"I don't care," he cut her off, leading her by the hand, out the door and through the office. "You're going with us and you're going to spend time with people who love you."

Oh shit, Castle gasped mentally. He hadn't meant that the way it sounded (though it was true). He'd meant it in a familial way, but how would she feel that Castle had included himself in that little slip? The way he felt about her was not at all familial...

"If you people cared about me, you'd let me go home," she complained, and Rick sighed in relief when she seemingly ignored his slip. And even though she was still arguing, she put her arms into her jacket when Castle held it out for her.

Ryan and Esposito approached her desk then.

"Hey, you convinced her to come along?" Ryan asked Castle, noticing the way everyone was getting ready to leave for the night.

"Nope. I'm forcing her to come along," he replied happily and then ignored Kate when she turned to glare at him. Instead, he smiled at her and watched as she flipped her hair out of the collar of her coat.

"No way could you force me to do anything," Kate finally scoffed and then added, "I could take you, Castle."

Ryan and Esposito both chimed in with "Ooo" sounds, taunting him over Kate's threat.

"I bet she could take you, Castle," Esposito added.

"I don't know," Ryan countered, defending Castle. "He's gotta be at least 50, 60 pounds heavier than her. He might have a chance if he can manage to get around all her training."

"How do you know I don't have any training," Castle threw in, annoyed that the guys were now talking about him and Kate as if they weren't there.

But at his words, all three detectives just laughed. And seeing Kate smiling after the way he'd found her, Rick decided he didn't mind- that much- that they were laughing at his expense.

XXXXXXXX

It was a few hours later, the foursome had set themselves up in the office Rick had converted to his own private bar/entertainment room and they were each several drinks in. Ryan and Esposito had both invited their women to join them, so Kate was having fun telling the other girls embarrassing stories about the two detectives. As payback, the two men were telling Castle stories that Kate probably wished they'd forgotten.

When Jenny yawned for probably the fifth time- followed closely by Lanie- Ryan finally stood and said goodnight. And since Ryan had broken the ice, Lanie stood as well, followed immediately by her boyfriend and they said goodnight as well.

The room quickly emptied and Kate was left alone at the table with Castle...

After an awkward silence, Kate stood as well and said, "Well, I should probably get going too-"

"No!" Rick snapped anxiously then added, "I mean, stay. You never told me why you were so upset earlier."

"I wasn't upset!" she argued heatedly, her reactions a little on the exaggerated side due to the alcohol. Not that she was drunk, just... overly expressive.

So Rick smirked at her and said sarcastically, "So you were sitting alone- in a darkened room- with your head in your hands, because... you weren't upset? That makes sense."

Kate sighed and sat back in her seat. "Fine. I was a little upset."

"Why?" he asked blandly, hoping to mask some of the concern he felt. Kate didn't need to know how much the sight- or even just the knowledge- of her pain killed him.

But Kate knew his inquiry had more to do with certain things he felt for her and less to do with friendly concern. "Because I just broke up with my boyfriend, that's why," she snapped.

"What'd he do?" Rick asked, totally ready to defend his partner if he found out the bastard had done anything to hurt Kate.

"He didn't do anything," Kate replied. She had no idea why she was actually answering any of Castle's intrusive questions, but she really needed someone to talk to and the combination of the alcohol and Rick's concern gave her the strength (or weakened her carefully constructed defenses enough) to talk to Rick where she might not have normally.

"They why'd you break up with him? I thought you liked him?" Rick prompted. He was actually really surprised Kate was answering any of his rude questions, but as long as she was, he thought he'd push his luck as far as he could.

"I do like him!" she insisted. Then sighed, reluctant to say it even as she added, "HE broke up with ME."

Rick laughed. "Yeah, right," he said between chuckles. "Tell me what really happened."

But Kate wasn't joking. "Why are you laughing?" she snapped in outrage, and to Castle's horror, tears actually welled up in her smoky green eyes.

The mirth was long gone, but Rick still couldn't believe her. "There's no way a smart man would break up with you."

"Lots of men have broken up with me, Castle," she retorted bitterly. How had she ended up having this conversation with Rick Castle of all people? Because she just knew he was going to ask her the one question she really didn't want to answer. But answer she would if he asked with that concern shining in his eyes.

There was no way- in Rick's mind- that any man with half a brain in his head would let the beautiful, the talented, the incredibly smart and sexy Kate Beckett get away if he could do anything to prevent it. So it was with no little incredulity that he said, "What? Why would any man break up with you?"

And there it was; the question. She sighed heavily, but met his gaze defiantly. "Because after a certain amount of time, most men expect you to put out or get out."

Rick looked at her in adorable confusion. Kate could have laughed at that look if she didn't understand the gravity of the situation. She was about to reveal something to Rick she'd promised herself he'd never know about her. But here she was, letting it all out. Because deep down, she knew she could trust him. And the four shots of tequila she'd downed in the last two hours loosened her tongue enough that she was willing to tell him anything at the moment; all he'd had to do was ask.

Kate sighed and admitted, "I'm a virgin, Castle."

A/N: Okay now that the surprise is out there, I'll explain: Yes, Kate is a virgin in this story, so there will be no sex- until later- but don't let that deter you; there will still be a lot of fun fluff. She explains the reason in the next chapter, and it's actually plausible if you can suspend the disbelief just a little and accept her story as she tells it. I was going to name this story "Like A Virgin," because I wanted to use a song title, but I thought that would have been too on the nose. Then I realized Undisclosed Desires would fit too, especially the lyrics I posted above. It's not really a song fic, I just thought the music would be a fitting addition. Plus, I just love music- Muse especially.