The opposit of normal

by Manlee

A girl named Lana who lives in St Louis lives her 'normal' life until Rob Depardieu comes along. She tries to stay away because the thoughts are distubing but Lana's life is far from normal and what will this new boy think of her when he finds out.

87

Preface

A world where I didn't exist. What would that be like?

In this precise moment, I wished I didn't exist but I'm glad I'm here but losing the one I love would shatter my world. I'd realized what the purpose of my existence was.

I stared at him with wide eyes, paying attention to every, single detail, every movement. I was death itself, staring straight into his soul and he had no idea of what I was, what I still am and what I wanted to be. It had only been a couple of weeks but I knew that he was my purpose.

Hold yourself together. I thought, feeling more and more murderous.

If he had never come here, I wouldn't have to deal with this painful ordeal of what he was doing to me – without him even realizing and most of all, I wouldn't bring myself to leave him, unmoving on a floor.

He attracted every type of person there was, the girls, the boys and especially me. He didn't even know how interesting he was to me and I couldn't stay away. He became my crazed obsession.

In a matter of seconds, he was going to be crushed – the centre of my world was about to disappear in an instant – and I knew that the pain would be excruciating.

He glanced over his shoulder towards my direction where his eyes met mine and he turned away and continued to walk to his next class, unable to recognize what awaited him.

1. Welcoming

A day, which would go faster than usual, was the only thing I'd wished for.

The first day of the week.

They absolutely tortured me. But it wasn't just the first days it was every day.

The bright light pierced through my blue-laced curtains, forcing me to open my eyes. I sat up and dazed off, gazing out the window taking in the ordinary scenery, without any movement. Ordinary because it has never changed and no one plans to change it. Outside was perfect; the sun shone brightly and emitted its radiance, waiting to place smiles upon children's faces and brightening everyone's mood. The trees blew with the soft breeze and the birds sung happily in their nests. The sunlight burst into my room. The warmth soothing me.

I was in my pink nightgown; my mother had bought for me last Christmas as a gift. She described my old pajamas as ripped and ragged. She always reminded me that a hobo would have a better pair of pajamas than my previous ones. I liked the pajamas she bought for me – even though pink wasn't my favourite colour but it was elegant.

People were soaking in the sunshine. The children in the street were in their summer clothes, riding their bicycles and it was only eight o'clock in the morning.

Why wasn't everyone still in bed… sleeping?

That's where I would have been if it wasn't a school day.

And I think I'm the freak.

I live in St Louis, Missouri. Missouri is one of the Midwestern states, bordered on the north by Iowa, east by Illinois, Kentucky, and Tennessee, on the south by Arkansas, and on the west by Oklahoma, Kansas, and Nebraska.

St Louis covers an area of about a hundred and fifty eight square kilometers and is the centre of a large metropolitan area. It's an enormous place, where the sun would always shine and the sky always be blue. There's about three million people in the whole of Missouri and about thirty thousand other people call St Louis 'home'. We have a skyscraper, countless museums and a baseball stadium not to mention our own baseball team.

I've always been stuck here, not in a bad way though. St Louis was the place I grew up when I was a kid and where I continue to grow – most unlikely. My family enjoy living in the sunshine – so do I but you get sick of it, seeing everything so average. There's hardly any rain in the winter months, it's always been just 'cold'. Our home is oversized for a family of four. It is ivory white, clear glass windows with a matching door and a night-sky roof. Our home contains five bedrooms, six bathrooms, an attic and two garages – actually, it's too oversized.

The scatter of footsteps and chatter below me woke me from my wandering mind. I removed my useless quilt and stood up. It never had any purpose on my bed, it'd lay there untouched. I strolled to my bathroom, and looked in my mirror, rubbing my eyes –still slightly blurry. I reached for my blue electric toothbrush and began brushing. I washed my face with the ice-cold tap water and dried off with my light blue towel. I moved on to grooming. My hair was to some extent curly at the ends but straight at the top – after I brushed it.

It had been the same routine, everyday for the past couple of years. Nothing was ever exciting or different and nothing ever interested me. My life was dull. I needed something to brighten it up but that wasn't going to happen soon.

I threw on my favourite black v-neck T-shirt and my grey skinny jeans. I left my hair to flow freely while I grabbed my plain white school bag and paced down the stairs.

"Good morning Lana," my father called out to me from the dining table – every single morning.

"Hey dad," I coughed out, trying to clear my throat at the same time. "Anything interesting in the paper today?"

"Just the usual and you look very nice, today."

"Thanks."

I laughed and he responded with a smile.

My father, Michael, is a scientist. He works at the St Louis science center. The science center is a place where you learn about science and play with gadgets and other things but there's more to that than you think.

I understood where I had inherited my green eyes and unnoticeable ears. He'd always be chirpy and smiling, every morning as long as he had his coffee and newspaper. Those were like his happy pills. He would never create any problems in our family and if we ever did, he'd help us solve ours – that's probably why he's a scientist and my father. His skin is radiant and it glows. I also inherited that aswell. He has green eyes with a hint of hazel. It was such a marvelous mix of colour. He has chocolate brown hair and looks very young than what he age actually says he is.

"Oi! Lana. Do you wanna drive today or are we taking my car?" My brother yelled out from his bathroom, upstairs.

My brother's name is Tom. He's about a year older than me, eighteen. He's a senior at school and is the quarter back for our school football team. He's tall and lean but yet muscular and you wouldn't believe how many girls have asked him on a date – but sadly they were all denied the chance to be with him.

His hair is russet brown with light brown highlights, the length is in the middle between long and short hair. It is always spiked up and is full of hair gel. He's pale like my mother but has brown eyes and he's has the stone god complexion.

"If you want me to… You like driving though, why don't you drive?" I asked, surprise somewhere in my tone.

"I don't know. Fine then, I'll drive." Tom concluded.

My brother drives a White Honda Integra. He almost blends into the car. Tom recently got a body kit put on, tinted his windows and wants to show it off – I'll admit it, it looks very good – and that was where all his money was going. There isn't a scratch or speck of dirt on his car. I guess there are some advantages of being incredibly fast.

"Do you want something to eat before you leave? Do you have everything for school? Have you brushed your teeth, Tom? Who is driving? Have you got your license in your wallets?" my mother asked us with a caring tone, waiting for us to answer her.

"YES!" My brother and I said in sync.

My mother, Sarah, was always the one to worry about every single, little, thing, no matter what it was. She hated us calling her by her first name. 'Mother' or 'Mom' was what she preferred. I didn't understand why.

Sarah also known as my mom has curly brunette hair, pale but beautiful complexion and hazel eyes. Her eyes would always be full of love and kindness just like her heart. She'd always try to hide her emotions but they'd soon float to the surface and they would be revealed. Every morning she would make sure we didn't forget anything and we would both receive a kiss on the forehead – always leaving a big shape of her lips in bright red.

I reached for my black high heels beside the stairway and placed them upon my feet. My brother was already in the garage, waiting for me.

"Hurry up! We're gonna be late." He yelled loud enough for the whole neighbourhood to hear.

"You drive like a maniac anyway, we'll make it, and we always do."

"Not if you take ten years to get in my car. What are you, a turtle? You can walk to school then,"

He opened the door to get in. I was already in the car before he finished his sentence.

"Shut up! Hurry up and get in." I told him, my face smug.

Tom looked coldly at me.

He climbed in the car and put on his seatbelt. He put his key into the ignition, he was at forty when he reversed out of our broad driveway and we were already on the road at ninety. He never stuck to the limits.

My stupid brother was going to get us killed. Unfortunately we can't die.

The surroundings to school were mostly houses, schools and a proportion, of green plant life.

It was a fair way to our school, St Louis High, but we would get there in minutes because of my brothers reckless and demented driving skills. I should have driven my car to school. It would have saved me from the heart attack I was having. I drive a dark grey shiny 2008 Toyota Yaris. It's nothing fancy because I hate attracting attention and 'I like to be one of the people'.

Tom parked his car next to the orange Subaru Impreza WRX Sedan in the parking lot and we both removed ourselves from the car.

"You're lucky we weren't late." Tom implied.

"We're never late and you've got a free period anyway."

Why did he care so much if were late?

If his car ever broke down, he would be able to run to school in thirty seconds, which was so much faster than his car.

"So,"

"What do you mean 'so'?" I hissed.

The bell rang for the first period. We watched all the people, as they cleared the parking lot get to their classes.

"Aren't you going to class?" He asked, almost about to burst out laughing, satisfied with his response to my earlier question.

I gave him a sharp look in his direction and stalked off to class. I soon heard the chatter of his egged-head friends, pulling him to football practice and talking about girls – well… talking about me, to be precise.

"Man! Your sisters hot." One of his friends admitted.

"Dude! She's my sister."

"So what! I'd date her any day."

My brother raised his hand and slapped it across his head.

What morons. I thought. I couldn't help but smile.

My first class was English. I detested this subject. It made my day slower than usual. It was the worst subject and it dragged on and on.

I walked swiftly to class and I peered through the door, fortunately, Mr. Anthony had not arrived yet. He would have bit my head off, but he was the one who was always late. I was afraid of the deafening speech.

"Yo Hallow." Luke Trovan greeted me at the door, letting me enter first – to be a gentleman.

"Hi, you know, I do have a first name."

"Ha! It rhymes," he laughed, thinking of his last comment. "Sorry, I was just kidding, how you been?"

We walked beside each other to our desk.

"Spectacular." I replied sarcastically.

He sat down next to me in his usual seat. He'd never sit anywhere else and I had always wondered why but it became obvious after two years of this. Mr. Anthony walked into the room without any hesitation and began with a lecture on Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. Mr. Anthony was very young, golden hair, pale skin and seemed to be growing his facial hair. He would always dress nicely in a buttoned shirt and long black pants.

"We are going to have a play on this. I want everyone to grab a partner and practice the lines for Romeo and Juliet. I will soon be calling each couple up and they'll act either the part of Romeo or Juliet. Get cracking." Mr. Anthony ordered.

I knew that Luke was going to ask so I sat there like an innocent quiet girl. Innocent? I was far from that.

I stared at my blank page and fiddling with my pens.

Luke was outgoing and out-there. He had short blond hair and he had the same kind of hairstyle as my demented brother. That seemed to be the style these days. He was muscular in his arms and was taller than me.

"Do you want to be my partner?" Luke asked nervously.

"Sure, why not." I replied, with a phony smile.

He was always nervous when wanted to ask me something, even if it was something little. It always showed. I thought it was because he was afraid of the possibility that my answer would be 'no'. What would he do then? I hope it was getting over me.

Luke stood up from his seat and walked up to the teachers' desk at the front of the classroom. He grabbed two 'Romeo and Juliet' books, and soon after other people followed after they found their partners. I wasn't interested in being in a play, in front of the entire school. I couldn't care less. I didn't even want to find out who had won the parts and we hadn't even begun. There was no point in attracting more attention to myself. Being what I am was good enough. The classroom filled with voices – everyone practicing their lines. Romeo… Romeo…

"Are you going to try for Juliet?" He asked curiously.

He knew I didn't like plays and performances and yet he still asked.

"No, I don't think I want to be in this play." I said dully.

"Why not?"

"It'd be really weird, and acting… it's not my expertise, anyway, how about you?"

Every year there was a performance and this year it was my English class, which had to do a performance. The dance classes always put on an interesting show. Other classes weren't bothered to do something magical or entertaining but they always tried.

"I might try for Romeo but I suck at acting. Maybe I'll just try it for fun."

"You're in it for the kissing and the touching. Aren't you?"

I knew he was trying to deny it but surprisingly he admitted it. The hormones had kicked in.

"Yeah," He said embarrassed, as he rubbed the back of his neck.

I laughed and he smiled, pleased with himself.

I sat there and time didn't exactly help me. Luke tried to learn the lines but gave up. He had the memory of a goldfish. So, he raved on about his car and my mind wandered off but remembering to put the 'Hmmm's' and 'Uh-huh's" in the right places. I watched the hands of the clock, waiting for it to reach ten. Time went slower and slower. Mr. Anthony would wander around and check on our progress and we lied about learning our lines for auditions next week.

Finally, the bell rung and I was already on my feet. There was nothing to be excited about; it was just chemistry but it was better than English. I reached my classroom in block C and wandered around to find a seat.

"Morning Lana," A sweet voice called out behind me, as I was about to sit down at my desk.

"Good morning, Nina"

"How was English? Is Luke here today?"

"Boring and Yes he is here."

She'd always ask me that at least once a day but she already knew answer because she'd always wait in the parking lot until she'd see him arrive. She would still ask to make conversation. I was just being polite. She was an Australian girl, lovely accent and very pretty.

Miss Shaboski, a slightly tanned women, walked in and told the class to settle down. She wore black-rimmed glasses; her hair was always in a bun and was wearing white heels with her chemistry white coat.

We were learning about different reactions with metals when they were combined with acids. This was more of a fun, no brainer lesson. We would just get to mix chemicals together and make things explode or smell. I was always partners with Nina – she was good at this stuff and she seemed to enjoy it.

"I was thinking I'd take Luke to a concert to see his favourite band for his birthday but I don't know how to ask." Nina asked anxiously, waiting for my response.

"Just ask casually, I'm sure he'll say yes because you're a lovely, sweet girl." "Really? Do you think so?" She interrupted me.

"Of course, don't be afraid and he will say yes." I said reassuringly. I continued to finish my sentence. "And the concert the tickets, how much did they cost you?"

"They were pretty expensive and I only could afford two." She explained. That was a total lie and she knew it. She just wanted one on one time with her crush.

Why would Luke say no?

There was a possibility that he would say no to her and that 'no' to Nina would be my fault.

BANG!

There would always have to be an explosion in this class and Ryan Saywell just provided one. When there was an explosion, the fun was over. He was one of those boys who'd love to hang out with my brothers egg-head friends. Ryan had caramel coloured skin with brown hair and a hint of freckles. He could make anything funny by just laughing but the problem with that was we were laughing at him and not with him. But he didn't know that.

"Okay! Sit down. Fun's over." She yelled to the class.

Just in time.

"Aw!" The class moaned in response.

Miss Shaboski ordered everyone to pack up their chemicals and equipment. We all waited for the bell. The bell buzzed. Everyone hurried out the door to lunch, Nina walked beside me to the cafeteria, and we waited together in line for our food.

"Have you found anyone yet?" She asked interested.

"What's that suppose to mean?" I replied shocked.

She had never asked me that question before. It was odd.

"You know… boys, a boy. See, I asked you about Luke because I'm interested in him. You're not interested in anyone and I want to know why. This school has tons of boys."

"I know there are alot of boys at this school and maybe because I'm not crazy about boys and that nobody here captures my attention." I said looking down at my tray.

I didn't like where this conversation was heading.

"Almost all the boys in this school have asked you out on a date and you keep saying no, how can that be that no one here captures your interest?"

"I don't know why. It's just me… maybe,"

"Most of the boys at our school are pretty good looking."

"Maybe to you,"

"There's Jason, Matt, Reece, Ty and Tom."

"Tom is my brother." I reminded her. "And plus my brother's friends are idiots"

"Oh yeah… Tom is your brother, sorry about that, I forgot. But they are good looking. "

"Nina… Stop! You're rambling on and I don't want to talk about… boys." I told her, screwing up my face at the word 'boys'.

"Fine. But when you find someone, I'm totally gonna talk about this with you."

"Okay! Whatever! When that time comes as long as it's not right now."

I said that to make her close her mouth. I hoped that wouldn't be soon. I didn't want to have that… talk.

Nina had a huge smile on her face. She reached for a fruit salad and a bottle of water. I grabbed a ham cheese sandwich and a can of Coke. I wasn't really hungry after the talk with Nina but I had to eat. We sat at our usual table, which included myself, Nina, Luke, a masculine boy named Harry Evington, a smart, energetic girl named Kristen Saber and a sweet, kind and quite girl named Linda Cho.

They would always chat about what they were going to do after school and on the weekends, sometimes schoolwork and a large percentage was gossiping about other people. I sat there listening and eating my lunch while they amused one another other.

My brother sat at the table on the far side of the cafeteria, close to the windows. I glanced over to his table and he caught me staring so I received the 'tongue' and he got one to. All of the sudden, his friends turned their heads to my direction.

Egg-heads. I thought to myself and a smile slipped out with myself not realizing I was still facing in their direction and they all smiled back.

I turned away quickly and stood up to dispose of my crumbs and empty can.

"She was smiling at me, you all know that right?" One of my Tom's friends said loudly. I think his name was Reece.

Reece was a typical, high school boy. Blonde, masculine and definitely deranged.

"No, she was looking at me" Ty said, admiring himself in the window, trying to fix his hair.

"Why would she look at you, you look like a monkey. She was probably laughing at you but she was nice enough to hold it in but a smile slipped out accidentally." Matt implied.

Matt was the skater boy, Jason was the cutie and Ty was the self-lover.

Jason continued to laugh, saying nothing.

"She's just being thoughtful and didn't she say no to all of you anyway?" Tom said sarcastically.

They all began arguing and started throwing playful punches at each other's arms. I never knew I was capable of doing that with just a smile. The most I had ever said to them was no when they asked me out. Imagine what I could do with a kiss or hug. My powers should only be used for good and not evil. It was just a suggestion.

I never talked to any boys, not because I was afraid, I just wasn't interested and the topic for the conversation would probably be about their car. I kept to myself and hung out with my friends.

"Rio…Jason. To the principals office please." The speakers announced.

"Ooooohh… What a bad boy." Ty said making fun of Jason.

"Someone's in trouble." Reece teased and started to have the hysterics.

Jason rose from his seat and left the cafeteria to the principal's office. In a matter of minutes, he was back but he wasn't alone. Beside him stood a boy, chocolate brown hair and golden highlights, blue eyes, tall, lean, and muscular. His hair was gelled up slightly and he wore black long pants, an ivory T-shirt that stuck to his masculine chest and black formal-like shoes.

He seemed like every other boy.

But for some reason I couldn't turn away.

I stared at him and he looked at me. He didn't turn away until Jason began to talk. His eyes brightened when he saw me but his expression was unreadable. I couldn't understand it.

He joined my brothers table and took a seat while my brother introduced himself and his friends. I kept glancing over my shoulder to see him.

Who was he?

2. Monster

What was with the world? Why was it so slow?

I waited patiently as I could in the parking lot, tapping my heels against the asphalt – why was he so slow? The parking lot was still full of students – everyone trying to get out of here. My brother took his time so I leaned against his car.

"Lana! Watch it! You're gonna leave marks." He groaned waving his hands, making an outline of his car, coming out of the office.

"Well, if you didn't take so long I wouldn't be leaning on it, would I?" My voice furious.

"I've got footy practice, so can you drive my car home and let mum and dad know? And don't scratch it! I'll notice it straight away if you do."

"Next time if you're slow to get to the car after school, there's gonna be marks all over it. But I'll drive it home. How are you going to get home?"

"A friend will drop me home and thanks Lana."

Tom threw the keys rapidly at me and dashed off back into the school. I opened the door and got inside. I started the car, waiting for an opening so I could leave. There was a major line, beeping and many fingers waving in the air to one another. This was the moment, I wish I could just run home, no one would see me but I had to blend in. Plus Tom would yell at me for leaving his car in the parking lot.

I stared outside the window and there he was, searching for the key, which would unlock his car door and give him an entry into it. I couldn't help but look.

Why was he interesting to me?

I forced myself to turn my head away and I slowly drove off as the line began to move.

I arrived home and parked Tom's car in the second garage. I opened the door and walked inside to find my mother in the kitchen at the stove, stirring something in a pot. I placed the Tom's keys in the dish and began to walk to my bedroom.

"Hey honey, do you want any pumpkin soup? It's fresh and where's Tom?" She asked with more questions to follow – I guessed.

"No thanks, I've got some work to do and Tom's at football practice."

"Well, okay then,"

That was a first. No more questions? How peculiar.

Her eyes followed my every movement and I was in the all clear when I got to my room. I threw my things on the floor and removed my black shoes from my aching feet. I fell onto my made-up bed, and my mind wandered off – once again. I pictured him when he first entered the cafeteria, the way he looked at me, when he sat with my brother and when he was at his car.

He was so graceful and stunning. I didn't even know his name but I was sure that my brother knew. He didn't seem like an eighteen year old, just a bit younger. It wouldn't matter anyway. As soon as he found out what I was, he'd think I was repulsive, a monster, a freak. This boy just had a grip on me. I only looked at him a couple of times and he already pulled me in like a magnet. How was I supposed to live with this boy tormenting me? It was like the devil flashing a million donuts infront of a fat man.

It is just too hard to resist.

I was too shy to tell my mother, too embarrassed to confront my father and I wasn't going to go there with my brother.

I wanted to taste his blood on my tongue, but I am not a vampire. I wanted to drain him, lifeless, taste him. I saw him lying on the floor, dead, unmoving, while I stood above him with blood on my shirt and my teeth red flicking my head towards the doorway and caught red handed in the act.

A murderous killer.

What was I becoming?

I was disgusted by myself but the thoughts wouldn't leave. It was as if I was another person, a monster, inside of me wanting to come to the surface and dispose of this unknown boy, which I hadn't even met yet. I wanted to tear him apart so he could leave me alone and leave me in peace.

I knew soon this monster was about to erupt but as long as I fought I wouldn't bring myself to do such a thing.

Why was it so hard? It had just been a day, this boy had just entered my world and he turned me into something I didn't want to be. A thing I never was.

I'd have to endure it. The only thing that kept me sane was the fact that I would only see him at lunch – I would have to keep sane just for one hour. Thank goodness, he wasn't in any of my classes or in my year for that fact or that could have made things much worst then they already are.

I hadn't realized that I'd had been lying here for four hours, immobile. Someone knocked on my door. The doorknob turned and the door creaked softly.

"Can I come in darling?" My mother asked, peeking in my room and looking around.

"Sure, I was just lying down,"

"For four hours? You know that sleeping would have been a better answer?"

She looked at me concerned.

"Yep," I said, too quickly.

"You don't do that at school do you? You don't freeze, do you?" My mom asked giving me the 'questionable look' as she sat on the edge of my bed.

"No, if I did, people would think I'm not human."

She laughed.

"Well your not, and what were you thinking so hard about? Whatever it was, made you lie perfectly still for fours hours." She asked concerned not to mention she looked very concerned.

"It's nothing, just school," I reassured her.

"I'm here Lana, whatever you need, whenever you need to talk, remember that?"

She raised her hand placing it on my cheek, softly brushing it.

"I know."

She stood up and stood at the door. She turned around.

"Whenever you're ready," She told me, almost a whisper and let herself out.

I continued to sit there, quietly.

My father was home on the computer while my brother lay on his bed and watched TV. My mother was in the kitchen as usual. My father turned his head and flashed a grin at my mother and I.

"What's for dinner?" I asked, interested.

"It's seven thirty, we already ate but I knew you'd be hungry so I left you a big slice of lasagna and chocolate cake. You just need to heat the lasagna in the microwave."

"Thanks mom" I said cheerfully and gave her a big bear hug.

She smiled.

She was very considerate of others. I loved her so much and I was very glad to be her daughter. She walked off and sat beside my father at the computer.

I grabbed the lasagna from the fridge and placed it in the microwave for two minutes. I grabbed the plate, sat down at the dining table, and began to eat. I flipped through today's newspaper, which my father had been reading this morning.

There it was… his car, a blue Subaru WRX hatch. I had forgotten all about the episode I had after school and a picture of his car brought back all those disturbing thoughts in a split second.

The taste, his blood, he became my obsession in a matter of hours.

I tried to think about something else so I began reading an article.

BURGLAR BREAKS INTO FIFTEEN HOMES

I finished eating my lasagna and moved onto the cake. When I was full, I sat on our leather black sofa and turned on the flat screen. I flicked through the channels and didn't find anything interesting to watch. I stumbled up the stairs to my bedroom and tried to fall asleep. It was only nine o'clock. I closed my eyes and drifted off.

It was the first night I dreamt of him.

I was at school in the parking lot. I had called him to help me find my bracelet I had dropped in the soil near a small forest of trees. A bracelet I never lost. A bracelet I never had. That was when I attacked him. The blood covered my mouth and stained my teeth and he lay on the soil, not breathing. Dead.

I woke up unable to breathe as if I had been choked. Shocked by what I had dreamt of, of what my mind could create. The sound of birds chirping. I stretched and dreaded this day and every other day that followed this one because the boy who I despised would be at my school, which I had to attend.

I drove my car to school since I wanted to save myself from a heart attack. I parked infront of the office to make sure I could get out of here without any casualties. I sat in the car, breathing deeply when Tom left the car. Those thoughts started reappearing again, whenever it was quiet. I turned on the stereo and it flushed those thoughts away to another place, waiting for another time to come out. I closed my eyes for a slight moment, trying to breathe like a normal person and then someone tapped on my window. My eyes flicked open and I winded my window down.

"Lana, what are you doing?" Nina asked a little confused.

"Nothing" I responded, quickly. My breathing at a normal rate

"Get out and lets get to class then, I've got something to tell you. It's so cool,"

I got out and walked beside her and she began with whatever it was she was going to say. It wasn't a very good time to tell me whatever it was. It would go in one ear and out the other. I had a demon to fight and a million things on my mind.

"You know that new boy who Jason was walking with?" She said rapidly and excitingly.

Oh no! This couldn't be happening.

"Yeah, what about him?" I asked, hiding any possible emotions.

"He's in our year and he's in your English class, can you believe it?"

I didn't know what my expression looked like. I was trying to hide it but I didn't know if I could.

"Huh!"

Damn it! I had spoken too soon. So much for only having to put up with it only at lunch for an hour. Make that two hours. Time wasn't helping before and I don't think it would be helping me anytime soon.

Stupid time.

Today was three hours.

My day just started and it is already horrible. I had double English first two periods and lunch followed after that.

Just my luck.

"Don't you have a double period? We'll lucky you, he's incredibly hot!"

"Great…" My tone was somewhere between angry with a touch of pain, and sarcasm.

The bell rang and Nina was off to language class and I was of to my detested subject.

Why did she choose language?

She already knows how to speak Spanish. She is fluent in four languages, one of them being Spanish. Probably because it would be a breeze for her.

I walked to English, dreading every moment I'd be in that classroom – another reason to hate the subject. At least this boy didn't sit next to me. I was grateful that Luke owned that seat next to mine.

Mr. Anthony walked in and called Luke to go to him. He whispered something and I heard every, single, word. My hands clenched into a fist. Luke waved at me and walked past my desk to the back of the classroom next to Linda Cho. The seat beside me was now empty.

I had to speak. I should know when to hold my tongue.

At the door was where Jason and the boy stood patiently, waiting.

"Mr. Anthony, this is Robert Depardieu. He's new and in your class!" Jason introduced at a deafening volume, for the whole class to hear.

Everyone looked up.

"Just Rob," Rob cleared up.

"I know who he is and I reserved a special seat for him, right next to Lana. Make him feel welcomed, Lana,"

I looked at Mr. Anthony with a fake smile on my face. There were tons more girls that would make him feel more comfortable and welcome than I would.

I hated this so much. It was the worst day of my life. One person, one boy, ruining my life – by doing nothing. I could always go to another school, another place, another home. The truth was this was my home and as much as I got sick of it, it wouldn't be able to leave it behind.

"Dude! You're so lucky, you get to sit next to the hottest girl in school."

Jason punched him in the arm, displaying a false smile and walked off to his class, obviously jealous.

"We're learning about Romeo and Juliet, here's your book and try to take as much in as possible." Mr. Anthony said, welcomingly.

"Thanks"

Mr. Anthony waved his hand towards my desk as a guide and Rob followed his gesture. He moved the chair, scraping the floor and sat down, opening his books. I stared at him, the thoughts… returning. I pushed my chair further away from him to stop myself from doing anything stupid or irrational. He looked up at me, my eyes filled with hatred and he noticed them. I didn't introduce myself, I just sat quietly in my chair, I knew if I said anything, the words would come out the way I didn't want them too.

I want to kill you, is that okay?

He noticed my reaction and kept quiet aswell as trying to pay attention to Mr. Anthony's lecture. I sat in my seat, my left hand clenching my chair. I looked down and opened my hand, seeing pieces of the chair, which had turned to dust.

The monster was forcing its way out; I forced myself to stop thinking those… thoughts. How it would taste on my tongue, his blood. But I couldn't, I was not going to turn into whatever I was becoming.

My eyes locked onto him, I sat there… glaring watching his every movement in detail. He'd peek occasionally but would immediately turn away. I couldn't take it anymore. I rushed out of my seat, stumbling, when the first bell rang and walked to Mr. Anthony with a childish excuse.

"Sir, could I please be excused? I'm not feeling well and I'd like to go to the sick bay." I asked kindly as I could, trying to hold my breath to make myself purple.

"Sure, I'll write you a pass. Are you okay?" He said looking at me.

It was obviously working.

"I just need a moment and Thank you"

I walked out as quickly as possible; I could feel Rob's eyes on me. I headed for the parking lot, almost revealing myself.

What was happening to me?

I opened my car door and sat inside, breathing heavily. I knew I had to face this monster in me and the only way was to put up with him.

Stop it! Stop it! I told myself.

I would go back to lunch and take this thing head on. Next time we meet, I will be polite and kind to him like I am to everyone else and put this monster to sleep.

Time seemed to go faster in my car. Soon the bell rang for lunch and I headed to the cafeteria as usual, meeting Nina on the way. I tried not to think about it.

"How was English? Huh?" She ask, curiosity covering her face, failing to mask it.

"Fine, as usual," I answered shortly.

"That's it?"

"Yep," I said casually, nodding my head.

"You're boring. Do you know that?"

"I know,"

I grabbed a packet of chips and a bottle of water and went to our table.

"Hey Lana!" Luke yelled, running after me.

"Hi." I said, dully turning to face him.

"How come you left English early?"

Luke was the one person surely to notice that I had left class.

"I was feeling a bit… sick,"

That was the truth, I was sick… in the head.

"You left English? What was the problem?" Nina butted in.

"I told you, I was feeling sick. That's it." What a humungous LIE. I hoped they believed it.

"Are you okay?" They both asked concerned.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me."

Harry and Kristen soon met us at the table and they all began to gossip about other people, what people were wearing, who were dating, naming all the freaks – and they didn't know that one of their friends was one. Linda appeared out of thin air and entered the conversation.

In that moment, my eyes began to wander – separating from the talk and gossip.

I had just noticed that my brother's 'group' had moved tables; they now sat a table away from us. The less popular boys now occupied their old table. I could hear almost everything they were saying even though the cafeteria was full of talk and chatter.

"How was it sitting next to the hottie?" Reece asked, imposing.

"Who is she?" The boy looking at me.

I could see him in the corner of my eye.

"Her name is Lana, her brother is Tom as you can tell. They're like the good-looking family. They're like gods. They all looked like angels from heaven. All perfect and no imperfections. She doesn't talk much, well not to us and she doesn't have a boyfriend either." Reece explained to him. "Why?"

"I don't think she likes me. That's an understatement. I think she hates me. For the whole first period she just stared at me, her body was rigid and she was clenching her fist." Rob explained and described.

"You were checking out her body?"

"That's not the point, I didn't say that! Is she like that all the time?"

"But you still looked… Rob's got a girlfriend," Reece teased.

"Nah, she's cool, man. That's a first I've ever heard of her staring at someone. What did you do to her?" Ty asked.

"NOTHING! That's my point, I didn't do anything and she hates me. I've only seen her around, I haven't even spoken to her, not once."

"Are you talking about my sister?" My brother assumed.

They changed the subject immediately when my brother accused them. I realized he had noticed everything. My body, my fist, my glares, I didn't want him to see me as a monster and the only way was to fight it.

I looked over to my brothers table and he caught me once again, Tom gave me the 'tongue' and his friends turned their heads my way.

A case of déjà vu.

Rob turned and saw me and looked away, not wasting any time. I turned away as if I had seen something disgusting.

"See, I told you, she hates me." Rob said sadly, looking down to his tray.

"I don't think my sister holds grudges or hates people for no reason, you must have done something, I'll ask her later." Tom informed them.

Lunch was over and I continued to go to my usual classes. I never saw him after lunch until I got to the parking lot. He was already in his car, waiting for the extensive line to move. I waited for my brother, leaning against my car. This was the only time I was grateful that he was late. I kept my eyes on him, Rob glanced at me for a minute and drove off and my brother suddenly appeared in my car.

"Let's go! What are you waiting for? And what are you staring at?" Tom asked, searching for what I was looking at.

"Nobody and I was waiting for you." I enlightened him with an irritated tone.

I got in the car and drove us home. It was a quiet ride, he didn't speak, not one word. He continued to stare out the window. I thought he would have asked me what was up with me hating Rob but it was good that he didn't so I wouldn't have to explain why and get into an awkward situation.

When we arrived home, my brother ran to the fridge, raiding it. My mom was watching the cooking channel and my dad wasn't home yet.

"Home already, that was quick. Get out of the fridge, Tom! I'll be making dinner after this," Mom said making conversation. Tom didn't listen and I already had a lot on my mind.

"How did you know?" Tom asked.

The house was suddenly silent. Only the noise of the Television echoed through the house.

Okay…" She said confused and continued to watch her show

I ran upstairs to my room, throwing my bag on my bed and ran to take a shower. This would certainly relax me. I had a cold shower immediately. I got out of the shower and dried my hair with the towel. I threw on my nightgown, ran my fingers through my wet hair, and sat on my bed. My mom came up stairs to check on me and I decided it was time to tell her what was happening. She knocked and came in and sat on the edge of my bed like last time.

"You know how I said nothing was wrong before, that was a lie." I confessed,

"I know, I could tell. I knew you were going to tell me when you were ready. I wasn't going to force it out of you. If I did, what kind of mother would that make me?" She confessed aswell. "How about you tell me everything from the start and I'll see how I can help."

"Okay…Ummm… There was this new boy that came to our school and he was interesting to me, he was like a powerful force acting on me and I didn't know why. I couldn't stay away from him. I couldn't stop thinking about him when I came home. Those four hours of me lying still was because of him."

"Oh…" My mother exhaled. 'Oh' what did that mean?

"He created these… thoughts… in my head. They were disgusting, disturbing, revolting and I hated myself for thinking that way. I wanted to taste his… blood… I wanted to drain him; I wanted to taste him on my tongue. I may not be a vampire mom but I'm worst than that. This monster in me came out of nowhere and it was accompanied by those repulsive thoughts. I became a monster in a matter of hours… It was because of him, I hated him. I hated myself."

I couldn't look at her. How could I just have told her all that without her being repulsed.

My mother looked at me with sadness in her eyes. She had never seen me like this. She had never seen me hate myself so much before.

"You have to fight it, honey, once you do, you'll be fine, you'll find a way, I know you can, I know you will. They will leave but you're going to have to work on it to make it go away." She hugged me then my mother left my room and I heard her feet walk down the stairs.

Her answer didn't exactly vanish my problem but what she said meant alot to me. Just to sit down and tell somebody felt relaxing. Just to get if off my chest felt good. The hug showed me that she cared and loved me, I already knew that but it was nice that she could show it. Everything was in the open, I was vulnerable. She was right and most of all she believed I wasn't a monster.

3. Stages

Today was the day I had been waiting for – where I would face what I was becoming, banish it to a far away land deep inside me, and never let it be released ever again as long as I lived.

I didn't see Rob once yesterday, I wasn't trying to avoid him, I had left school early. I didn't want to stay there and go through the lifeless classes and time apart was healthy for me – just like an apple, a day keeps the doctor away but instead my apple was time apart.

It felt good to be able to do this, leaving it all behind, and get rid of those repulsive thoughts that followed me.

My brother drove us to school because I was too lazy to and my car was not shiny anymore, disappointingly.

Stupid dirt.

I wore my black skinny jeans with a white shirt and white heels. I raced my brother to his car and it was a tie – he knew I won but I knew he'd throw a tantrum if he lost. (I'm surprised that he's older than me, he acts he's like four years old.)We listened to my brother's music on the way to school. It had all different genres and artists that I liked.

Surprisingly, I didn't have a heart attack and my brother actually drove properly. That would only happen once in a new moon.

I waited for Kristen in the lot while she gathered all her things from her car when we arrived. I wanted to know what all the books were for but I decided not to ask. Kristen drove the orange Subaru Impreza WRX Sedan that we always parked next to in the parking lot. She always reserved it for us.

I saw my brother's friends including Rob, approaching, out of the corner of my eye. They reached my brother in a matter of minutes and they all said 'Hi' to one another with a manly handshake. They all said 'hi' to me and Kristen and I smiled and said 'hello' back to all of them. Rob looked down at his feet and mumbled the 'hello' to me. I guessed he still thought that I hated him.

I didn't hate him, I use to though but I was going to get over it, today.

Kristen finished gathering her books and posters. We were on our way to class, and we met Linda who joined us on the way. I heard them still talking about Rob's issue with me while they walked behind us.

"See… She doesn't hate you. She said hi," Jason assured Rob, patting his shoulder.

"She said hi to all of us, she was being friendly. Tom, did you ask her?" Rob asked my brother anxiously. My brother stared at him, oblivious to the question, or trying to remember. "If she hated me or not?" Rob said trying to jog his memory.

"Oh. Crap! I totally forgot. It just slipped my mind. I'll ask after school when we drive home… I should have done it yesterday when we were driving home. I couldn't think of anything to say in the car, I just stared out the window. Sorry!" Tom began scratching the back of his head.

That made much more sense about Tom's quietness in the car yesterday afternoon.

I was very nervous for English first period. This was the first time I had been nervous in a very long time – for years. I hope it wouldn't be hard or awkward.

By the time, we reached our classroom the bell had just gone and people we're hurrying to get to class. I swiftly walked to my desk, hopped into my seat and opened my book to a new page, ready to write. Rob came through the door a few minutes after me, in his dark grey shirt and long black pants – looking quite stunning. He walked over to my desk, and sat down without taking a glance at me – not one word or sound.

Mr. Anthony entered the room with a ton of books and folders in one hand, ordering everyone to be quiet and to wait for his instructions after he marked off our names.

"Okay! Time for practicing our lines for Romeo and Juliet, come down, grab a book and grab a partner. Just like we did a couple of days ago, I want to get a Romeo and Juliet up here in a couple of minutes," He ordered.

I knew Luke would come over and ask me but this was a perfect time to talk to Rob and show him that I didn't hate him.

"Hi! Do you want to be partners with me?" I asked kindly.

"Sure."

I turned to see Luke's face; he stood frozen in the middle of the classroom. It was as if he's heart was being crushed then stabbed ten times. I felt bad but I would explain it at lunch or after school. I would apologize. Luke had always been my partner – this was a first for him and his reaction was what I had expected. He turned away to ask Kristen when he had seen what I had done.

I got up to get the books and headed back for my seat where he waited for me. I handed him a book and sat back in my seat, facing him.

"I'm Lana Hallow by the way, you're Rob."

He began to smile.

"You know you're the first person to just call me Rob, it's always Robert, so formal."

He laughed.

"I'm sorry about before. I was being so impolite."

"That's okay, but why?"

"I can't tell you that." He noticed there was more to that sentence.

I hurried to think of something to change the subject.

"Are you going to act in the play?"

"No thanks, I hate this kind of stuff. Being infront of more than four hundred people doesn't… work for me. I hide from those kinds of things."

I was glad I wasn't the only one who didn't like the limelight. This was getting somewhere. I found something we both had in common.

Mr. Anthony stood up from his desk and began talking.

"Okay, who's our first couple? Any volunteers?" He yelled to the class.

Most of the class tried out and Rob and I sat there watching. Well I was watching Rob. I don't know about him.

"Does anyone else want to audition before I close it and start evaluating and choose the winners?" He asked finally. "I'll announce it next week,"

"Boo!" The class yelled.

"Don't boo me and you'll find out soon enough,"

Everyone began talking and Mr. Anthony allowed it while he sat at his desk, making a hard decision about who were going to be Romeo and Juliet.

I turned around to Rob to start a conversation. I asked the first thing that came to mind.

"Why did you move?" I asked curious.

It was something I wanted to know.

"We were sick of France, so we came here?"

"Oh… so how are you liking the people here? And France is a lovely place but you don't have the accent,"

"They're all very polite, France is nice but spending every waking moment there gets boring, I needed a change. I don't have the accent because I was raised in L.A because my dad is American and my mom is French. When I reached my teens, we moved to France. I can speak French too." He answered. "Do you know that you ask alot of questions? Anyway, how about you? You're the most prettiest girl in here, why don't you have a boyfriend?"

He thinks I'm pretty.

"No one's ever captured my interest and how do you know that I don't have a boyfriend?" I asked. "And you think I ask a lot of questions? You should meet my friend Nina."

He laughed freely. It was so beautiful.

"My new friends told me you say no to everyone. Do you have a type or something?" He asked. His face filled with curiosity.

"No, it's just that nobody is interesting to me. I don't say no to everyone. I just haven't found anyone to say yes to."

"Nobody?"

The bell rang for our next class and everyone packed up to go to lunch. The period had flown past us. I wished it could have been longer. I wanted to know so much more about him.

"I'll tell you the answer to that next time." I teased and walked to lunch.

I kept smiling, all the way to the cafeteria. It was a great day and I fought my battle and I won by a landslide. It wasn't as hard as I thought I would be. I was nice and responded. I was relieved that we didn't have any awkward moments and that we got along really well. He was the first boy I had ever had a long and interesting conversation with besides from my current friends or brother.

"Someone's in a good mood." Nina noticed, flashing a large smile at me, showing her pearly whites as we moved down the line. "You found him, didn't you? Who is it?"

"Can I tell you later," I suggested and embarrassed.

I placed a chicken wrap, can of coke and an apple on my tray. I didn't want to hurt Luke's feelings, after all he'd been chasing after me since seventh grade and is still infatuated.

"I tell you tonight, I'll call you."

"Okay!" She replied nervously excited.

I began to eat, listening to Kristen and Linda's argument over their favourite television show characters. My eyes began to wander.

"No, she's doesn't suit the character," Kristen telling Linda her opinion.

"She suits the character perfectly, what do you think Lana?" Linda asked.

"Huh?" I said turning to them.

"Don't worry." Linda said seeing how I was not interested.

They continued with their argument.

Rob sat at their new but now usual table, but he was facing towards me. I moved my chair to the right so I could see him properly. He's watched me and then we caught each other's eyes. We just stared at each other until Matt interrupted him.

Why is Matt so nosy and why do they all speak so loudly? It's not like the person is in China. The boy is sitting next to you for heaven sake. I thought to myself.

I enjoyed looking at Rob.

"Hey! What are you staring at? HELLO! Rob!" He waved his hands in Rob's face.

"Does the hottie still hate you?" Ty asked, hoping that the answer was still yes, and then looked into the direction where Rob had been staring. Matt also followed.

"Oh." Matt shocked, still with his mouth open. "You've got to be kidding me."

"I don't think she hates me anymore. I like her, she's very nice."

He likes me.

"YOU LIKE HER TOO?" Matt yelled at full volume, half-choking on his soft drink.

"What's wrong with liking her? She's beautiful,"

"We've all tried talking to her but she doesn't talk to us, only her friends and brother, we've all asked her out and she's always said 'no'… to everyone."

"Well she talks to me, she was my partner in English, she asked me and we just started talking,"

Reece, Matt, Ty and Jason froze when they heard his response, trying to take it all in.

"Why are you lying?" Reece accused him.

"Believe what you want to believe, then." Rob defended himself.

"You could never get her anyway." Matt said.

"And neither could you," Rob with his comeback.

Very nice. He knows how to shut them up. That could be very useful if they ever came around our house.

"My sister's not a monster you know… actually… she is. She thinks I'm demented." Tom butted in.

"You are dude!" Reece admitted. Reece laughed and the others joined in. They all received a dead arm from Tom.

I laughed at that comment and Nina, Luke, Harry, Linda and Kristen stared at me.

"What's up with her?" Harry asked.

"She's in a good mood." Nina informed them.

"Oh!" They all said in harmony, staring at me.

The bell rang for the end of lunch and Rob was waiting for someone at the cafeteria door. He looked so good and I loved his tight dark blue shirt, which stuck to his chest revealing his contours.

"Are you waiting for me?" I asked surprised, looking around but finding no one, everyone had already cleared out.

"Yep, what do you have now? Gym?" He assumed.

"How did you know? Do your friends know everything about me? Have they been stalking me?"

"A lucky guess and they didn't tell me anything about your classes. I don't think they even know them and as for stalking, I don't know about that. I'll walk you to class, I'm on my way to maths so I'll drop you off on the way."

"Okay."

My heart was racing at a million miles per second and I couldn't wipe the smile on my face.

"Do you even like gym class?"

We left the cafeteria to the gym. Everyone was still getting to class.

"Actually I do, I only get it once a week but it's my favourite. I love my sports,"

"And do you do sports in those?"

He looked down at my feet, staring at me white high heel shoes.

"I have running shoes in my bag. I'm not crazy enough to wear those while I play and run around,"

"I forgot to ask you something and I'm dieing to know the answer. Are you going to tell me who you're interested in?" Rob requested.

"I will tell you sometime but I'll tell you later."

I had to make sure I could trust him and that he felt it to.

"Please?" he asked almost pleading.

It was too had to resist his silky voice when he pleaded but I couldn't tell him, not yet.

We had walked along the path through the quadrangle to the gym. He stood there, waiting patiently at the girls change rooms. He was like a stone god, carved from the heavens, he looked like one of us.

"Did you forget something?" I asked, questioning his reason for standing there.

"You didn't say goodbye?"

"Goodbye, now go to maths or you'll be late," I commanded him pointing to the maths block.

He walked off, laughing, to his class, adjacent to the gym. I hope he wasn't late.

Every time he saw me, he waved and it'd always put a smile face.

The day was over and I was pleased with myself. My brother was already in my car waiting for me.

Rob was next to his car and waved when he saw me.

"BYE LANA!" He shouted across the parking lot. I waved quickly and hid my face before everyone could look. He was laughing and his pearl white teeth were on display for everyone to fall in love with, while he was shaking his head at me. He was amused.

I opened the car door and my brother took off like a bullet.

He was demented and crazy.

When we arrived home, I ran to the fridge, pulled out a cold bottle of water, and gulped it down. Mom was vacuuming and dad had gone out to see a friend in town. I went upstairs to my bedroom and threw my things on the floor. I turned on the water to take a bath. I couldn't stop smiling. The disturbing thoughts I used to have were filled with new ones. Ones that made me smile and filled with the new person that entered my life.

When I got out of the bathtub, I dried off with my light blue towel and slipped into my nightgown and jumped into my bed, I knew I had forgotten something.

Nina's call and Luke's apology.

I reached for the phone on my computer desk and began dialing while I sat on my bed. I'd call Luke first because I knew it would be short.

"Hello" A deep voice said.

"Hi Luke, its Lana." I told him.

"This is a surprise. What's up?"

"I just wanted to apologize for English. I saw your face when I asked Rob and I didn't mean to hurt you and I didn't want to leave it like that."

"No, it's fine. It doesn't bother me. It was… different."

His voice wasn't reassuring me at all.

"I'm really sorry, still friends?"

"Of course,"

"I'll see you next week, I won't be coming tomorrow. I have some things to do. Okay, bye Luke, I'm really sorry,"

"Bye Lana."

The phone disconnected. I hoped that he wasn't upset but I knew he was.

I dialed Nina's cell-phone number and she answered immediately.

"Hello" Nina answered.

"Hey Nina,"

"Do you know how long I've been waiting by my phone?" She asked me, a little annoyed.

"Sorry," I apologized "I sort of forgot, my mind was lost and I was talking to Luke."

"Okay, I guessed you found your mind then and why were you talking to Luke? Nevermind you can answer that some other day. All I want to know is who is it?"

"The new boy, Robert Depardieu."

"Wow, I wouldn't blame you, nice choice."

"Thanks, any more questions I can answer while I'm still interested in this conversation."

"What is his nationality? What do you like about him? What is he like? Does he drink? Are you in love with him? Have you kissed him yet? What have you talked about?"

"The first answer is French and American, his mom's French and his dad is American, I like his free laugh and masculine chest and arms, He is very sweet and polite, he doesn't drink… well I think he doesn't, I like him but it's too early for love and I haven't kissed him." I told her.

"We talked about class, him and his family and a bit of… me, we're only at the getting to know you stages."

I could see Nina smiling or jumping on her bed.

"That's all the questions I can come up with, finally you've found him. I'm really tired after waiting for you to call so I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah, okay, bye, sweet dreams Nina."

"You too,"

I hung up the phone and placed it on the desk. I had forgotten to tell her I wouldn't be here tomorrow, but I was sure Luke would fill her in. It would give them a chance to talk and get to know each other better. It would give Nina the time to ask him about the concert.

I could not wait for next week. English was now my favourite subject. I laid awake for a couple of minutes, thinking about my answers to Nina's questions. I answered them all truthfully. I did like him, but was it really too early for love? Any sane person would tell me yes.

I didn't care.

I soon drifted into the darkness waiting for the week to come around once again.

4. Affection

I already missed him. Being away from him was unbearable. I don't think I could even go through the weekends without being near him or hearing his voice.

I wanted to see him.

Since I wasn't going to school today, I decided to sleep in before I went into town to get a couple of things. I could hear Tom complaining to mom about me staying home.

"Why does she get to stay home?" Tom groaned having a fit. "If she gets to stay home then I do to."

When I had the chickenpox when I was five, I stayed home because it was contagious. Tom tried every way possible to get my chickenpox so he could stay home too. He caught them and then blamed me for giving them to him. Things never change even though he gets older – He's actually stopped growing.

"No, you have no reason to stay home." My mom let Tom know.

"What's her reason anyway?"

"Just go to school. It's only one day. It won't kill you."

Tom tried to make up an excuse – Make that 'excuses'.

"I've got cancer. I'm going blind. I feel sick. My stomach hurts. I'm dieing."

It was another excuse after another. They were never ending.

"Honey, you can't die, remember and you're immune to all that stuff. Now off to school or you'll be late."

Tom startled mumbling to himself and displayed a frown in front of mom. He crossed his arms, reached for his things on the dining table and stalked outside to the garage.

I heard his tyres scrape the driveway on purpose. I could see him still mumbling about me staying home. He was dangerous behind the wheel.

How did he ever get his license?

I couldn't sleep after the screeching. I tried so hard to doze off and continue my long weekend but it didn't work so I decided to wake up and get ready. I decided to wear my red dress. It was knee-high, v-neck and tied up at the back of my neck. I wore my regular black high-heels and my hair was down and curly. I ran downstairs and grabbed my keys in the dish beside the cupboard on the bench. My mom heard the rattling of my keys and looked around for the noise.

"Lana, is that you? Are you going out?" She asked from the living room.

"Yeah, I'm just going into town to get some things. Is that all right? I'll only be gone for a while."

I grabbed a slice French of toast on the plate on the dining table.

French toast.

I wanted to see him so badly.

"Okay darling, have fun and how are you feeling? Are those thoughts gone?"

"Yep, they've vanished. I'll be home soon mom."

"Bye." My mom sat quietly watching her soap operas.

I opened the door and it creaked softly. I walked to my car, still munching on the French toast. I started the engine and reversed out of the driveway. I began driving into town. ('The City' was what some people also called it.) It was an hour's drive into town. There were many shops in town, for all your needs, things you wanted, and random things too. The city wasn't crowded on weekdays because everyone was either at school or had work. This was the best time to go. The traffic was tolerable. It wasn't as slow as some other days. I listened to the radio while I drove there and thought about some things that were unclear to me. It was the right time for me to answer those questions.

Why did I hate Rob so much? Why did I blame him? Why was I so rude and how could he have created all those repulsive thoughts?

In that short amount of time, I figured it all out.

I hated Rob because he made that monster. He made me something I didn't want be, something I never knew I could be. I blamed him because he made those thoughts that ran through my head every waking moment. I was rude because it was the only way, I could make him stay away from me. I hated him because he was what I wanted. He made me want him so much.

One question still wasn't evident.

Why was I so interested in him?

I didn't know the answer to that one.

The person I detested a couple of days ago became my obsession and I already fell in love with him. He was irresistible to me.

I loved Rob and I hoped that he felt the same way.

I kept thinking about the reaction I'd get from him if I told him what I was. He would probably be repulsed and disgusted.

How could he ever love someone like me?

I always pictured him running away then hunting me down with an angry mob with pitchforks and spears, wanting to burn me. I knew I had been watching too many old witch movies.

When I arrived at the city, I decided to go shopping for some new clothes and a little something for my mom, dad and Tom. There was a vintage clothes shop across the road beside a piano store. The shop was decorated with fairy gold lights and a number of beautiful flowers. I pulled the door open. It chimed as a bell hung over the door and I very young woman was behind the counter. She greeted me with a sweet but deceitful 'hello'.

"Hi there. Can I help you? Are you looking for anything in particular?" She began asking as nicely as she could, faking her smile, looking jealous and threatened by my appearance.

"Hello, I'm just browsing. I'm just searching for anything I like."

"I'll be around the back if you need me, just call out to me."

"Thanks."

She left to the back and sat down at the computer on a desk, Googling. She constantly glanced at me. I think she was waiting for me to leave before she'd come out again.

I went along the racks of clothing and chose out a couple of things. There were colourful bold dresses, beautiful necklaces and earrings on display and stunning t-shirts aswell as pants. I picked out a little black dress, a green t-shirt with a white city design on the side, a pair of faded blue skinny jeans and a black military jacket. That was all I was going to buy from here so I called out for the woman.

"Excuse me; I'm ready to pay for my things."

She looked intently at the things I decided to buy. She went through the clothes and began to fold them, typing each price into the computer and placing them into the paper bag.

"That's seventy dollars, thanks."

I handed her the money, which she put into the cash register and she handed me my bag plus my receipt.

"Thanks for coming, please come again soon."

She sounded careless when she said that. I knew she wouldn't care if I came back or not. She sat down at the counter just like when I had come in and opened the magazine that rested beside the cash register. I headed for the door and pushed it open, making the ringing of the bell echo through the store.

I strolled down the street to a shoe shop named Mildred's Shoes. I need some knew pairs of shoes besides the ones I had. This was a massive shoe store but they only sold heels and boots.

The woman continued to ignore me when I entered her store but she did glance up at me once. I guessed she was also threatened or too interested in her glossy magazine. She sat behind the maple counter reading her 'women's health' magazine. She was probably in her twenties and I guessed that she was the owner named Mildred. The woman had straight black hair, pale skin and was chewing gum. I couldn't see what she was wearing.

I wandered around looking at the different types of shoes. Some were nice, some were different and the others were just plain weird. They came in various styles and colours. I chose a Hercules-type pair of sandals, which were chocolate brown, a pair of cream three-inch stiletto shoes, which had a buckle around the ankle, and a pair of black boots.

I decided I wanted some different shoes that weren't high heels or boots. I brought the boxes to her desk and she began calculating the cost and placing them into a plastic bag.

"That will be a hundred and fifty dollars," Her voice irritated.

I had no idea why. She stared up and down at me and snickered. I gave her the money and left so I could leave her alone. I was being so polite and yet I received dirty looks and negative attitudes.

A few blocks down was a sports store. It was like a warehouse. It was called

'Jocks', it was such a male name but they sold women's sports equipment and clothes too.

I walked in and began to browse at some day-to-day, walking shoes. I always thought the converse shoes were cool and casual. I also liked the Nike Air Forces because they were flashy. I chose to buy six pairs of converse shoes, three high tops and the others weren't, one black, red, white, green, yellow, blue and purple. I chose two pairs of Nike Air Forces one just plain white and the other was white and pink.

I went to the sports equipment section to get my brother a new football. I chose the most expensive one in the store because I had no idea about the different types. A lovely young gentlemen came around to help me hold everything but this boy had nothing on Rob. He was younger than me, around sixteen, brown hair and eyes, tall and lean. He wore the store's uniform that was blue and white and also a matching hat.

I thought it was time to pay for my things and go back to the car to put them in there to start searching for my mom and dads little gift. The total of those things came to almost around nine hundred dollars. Luckily, our family is loaded. The young boy helped me carry the things to the car.

"Thanks for everything, what I would have done without you?" I said very sweetly.

He smiled.

"It's okay, it's my job and you forgot your receipt."

He pulled it out of his pocket and down the bottom was a phone number and his name above it.

Josh

0465947659

"Thanks." I said, thankful and he paced down the street back to the store.

I was never going to call him but he'd hope I would but it was never going to happen. I hated disappointing people but I wasn't interested in him. He was too young.

I walked the opposite direction from which I had started. I found an astronomy store so I bought my father a costly telescope and across that store was a cookery store. I bought my mom a Jamie Oliver cookbook plus the DVD, and new non-stick pans.

It was getting late and I wasn't aware of the time. I had been here for a while and I promise my mom I'd wouldn't be gone for long. I hurried back to the car, placing my things in the boot of the car and began to drive home. Luckily, it wasn't peak hour, yet. The drive home was the same, the traffic was satisfactory and I got home pretty fast.

I grabbed all the things; I went inside and placed them on the floor besides the door. The thunder of Tom's big feet shook the whole house.

"You got to go shopping, what the hell?" Tom accused looking at mom.

Mom came downstairs from the attic to see what I had brought home.

"Wow! Did you enjoy yourself?" She asked happily, seeing the smile on my face.

"It was good fun to get out to go shopping. I bought you all something too. Where's dad?"

"Working, he'll be home in an hour." She replied.

Tom and Mom got very excited, closed their eyes, and opened their hands.

I gave Tom his first.

"What! No way! This is totally wicked. Thanks." He said stunned, still examining the football.

"Well I thought that since you didn't get your day off and you had to go through seven hours of hell at school… You deserved a new football."

"Thanks sis"

Tom hugged me, suffocating me and ran upstairs.

Mom stood there, still waiting. I told her to open her eyes and I gave her, her bag.

"Oh my! This I too much. Thanks sweetie. I'm going to try one of these recipes for dinner tonight. I'm going to go watch this in the living room. Thank you."

I smiled. It was so nice to see her happy and excited. She kissed me and went to watch the movie.

I left dad his present by his closet, he was surely to find it there.

When he arrived home, he went straight upstairs to get dressed in his casual clothes. By his reaction, I knew that he found it.

"Who's is this, is it mine? I hope it is," My dad screamed from his bedroom when he saw it. I walked up the stairs to find him and I peeked into the bedroom.

"Dad, it's yours. Do you like it?"

"I do, I do. Thank you Lana, I'm going to go test it out."

He hugged me and sped to the attic.

I went to my room and sat on the bed ready for a shower. The phone rang and I went to answer it.

"Hello," I answered.

"Hey ditcher," She teased.

"Hi Nina,"

I guessed that she was going to ask me where I was even though she probably knew.

"Where were you today?"

Right on time, as usual. I knew her too well.

"I went out into town for some things, how was school?"

"Crap without you, Oh My Gosh; you would have never guessed what happened today."

"What happened? Did you ask Luke?" I was not interested unless it was about Rob. I was hoping that it was.

"No, not about me or Luke but about Rob and you…"

Interesting. My face lit up. Listening intently. What could it be?

"Rob was asking for you." She told me.

I was speechless. A smile flashing across my face.

"Hello! Hello! Lana, are you still there?"

"Yeah I'm still here, why was he asking for me?"

"I don't know why. He just came up to me and asked me where you were then when I told him he walked away disappointed. He was really looking forward to seeing you since you all started to get along and all."

He was asking for me.

"Wow. I never expected that." I would have never guessed that he'd be disappointed not to see me.

"How about Luke, have you asked him yet? His birthday is coming up soon."

"I know and I haven't asked yet. I'll ask soon though. I just wanted to call you and tell you that. Exciting, right? I'll see you on Monday and we'll talk."

"No, no, no… No talking. You have to ask Luke before you find out anything juicy about me, that's the deal."

"Your black-mailing me?" She laughed.

"Yeah, I guess I am,"

"Fine, We'll talk next week. Goodnight Lana."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and fell back on my bed. He was asking for me and he was disappointed when he found out. That had to mean something. Was what I wanted being returned? All I wanted was for Rob to love me back and not freak out when he would find out what I am. I didn't know what he was thinking, I didn't know what he thought. Out of all the things I could do, I couldn't read minds.

I wanted to make it obvious that I liked him. I wanted to see how he would respond. I needed to know for sure so that I knew my efforts weren't going to waste. I could ask my brother. But Tom would know and that would lead to constant teasing about me and my affection for Rob.

I was thinking about this too much. Whatever happened, I would still live my life. After all I can't die.

I went to take a quick shower and was ready for bed. I had forgotten to eat. That was something I'd never forget to do. All this thought going into Rob and not enough about the health of my body. I went downstairs to have a snack. Mom and dad lay on the couch watching a romantic movie.

My dad would prefer an action film any day but he would do anything for my mom after all the things she's done for him.

"Lana… aren't you asleep yet? Not sleepy?" My Mother asked.

"It's okay Sarah, it's not a school day, let her stay up." My dad told my mom.

"Sleep is good for you. Out of all people Michael, you should know that but Lana you can stay up if you want to. Is Tom asleep?"

"I don't know and thanks mom but I just wanted to get something to eat because I'm starving. I haven't eaten anything all day and I'm tired as hell." I informed them.

I felt like pizza. I wondered if they still delivered at this time.

"How about pizza? Mom… Dad… Do you want some? I'll pay."

"Sure," They both said at once.

I reached for the home phone and began dialing the number.

"Pizza house, how can I help you?" The man asked.

"Can I get one large Hawaiian pizza and one large Supreme pizza, a bottle of coke, Garlic bread side dippers and four Cornetto ice-creams, please," I ordered.

"Of course, Address please,"

I told him our address and waited for him to respond.

"Your meal will be delivered in ten minutes, thank you."

The phone disconnected and my stomach grumbled. I watched the movie with mom and dad until the doorbell rang.

A teen boy with acne stood at the door with our food.

"Ummm… twenty nine ninety five, please," He was obviously stunned by what I was wearing.

Oops.

The teen left and drove down the street. I closed the door and placed the pizza delivery on the table.

A thunderous noise shook the house.

"Is that pizza, I can smell it a mile away." Tom said, running downstairs to the table.

"I guess you're not asleep then" I said, shaking my head smiling.

"Honey, slowly… You're going to break the house next time you do that. I thought you were asleep," My mom yelled at him.

"I was and then I smelt the aroma and here I am,"

I took three slices of pizza, two dippers and a glass of coke. I scolded it down and had the ice-cream straight after. Tom had four slices of pizza, four dippers and three glasses of coke, plus the ice-cream and he had already eaten. Mom and dad had two slices each, no garlic dippers and water.

I was full after all that and sat down before I went to sleep. After twenty minutes, I was drained. I slowly walked upstairs clutching the stair rails and walked into my room. I lay on my bed and blacked out unaware of any sound or movement.

5. Moments

Weekends

They were a time for family, fun, relaxation, meditation or do something that you enjoyed. I was thinking too much and it took up most of my weekend. I knew I should have been outside at the park or something but I stayed home… thinking.

Rob was what I was thinking about.

I wanted to run to his house and watch him even though I don't know where he lived. I had to see his perfect face. I wanted to see him smile. I wanted to hear his laugh but I knew I couldn't do that. I'd be like a stalker and that would be no fun for him. Plus, they were reserved for my countless hours in English and all lunch.

I tried to focus on something, something that would keep my attention, something else besides him, like puzzles, crosswords and video games. They didn't quite help. They didn't do anything really.

I stayed home the whole weekend. The first day was agonizing. I didn't get to see him. I couldn't go to him either. I spent the first day of my weekend with endless movies in the living room on the flat screen. When I got bored, I walked up and down the street.

Mrs. Urbington came over for tea and cookies with my mother. They chatted about recipes, ways to keep the garden beautiful and she'd go on about the children in the street. My mom seemed like an old woman when she spoke to Mrs. Urbington because they did things that old people do. I couldn't stand the conversation so I went to the attic to try the dad's telescope I bought for him. I didn't expect to see anything in broad daylight.

My brother went out. He does that every weekend. He's done about everything you could do here. Tom can entertain himself very easily, that's probably why he's life isn't so complicated. He was probably at Six Flags. (An amusement park)

The last day of the weekends, I couldn't wait for this day to end.

I wore the little black dress I had bought from the vintage store in town. My hair flowed freely as usual, slightly curled at the ends. I thought it was casual, the dress wasn't over the top and it wasn't plain either. I liked it very much.

I heard chatter and a very loud voice, which I recognized. It could only be on person, Reece. He was the person I wished to have a mute button or a volume button installed. Either would be accommodating.

I was at the door before he could knock. I opened it seeing four faces. I was hoping to see a fifth.

"Hey Lana, we're here to see Tom. How did you know that…?" He trailed off. One hand was raised in the air, in a fist, which was ready to knock on our door. He put it down when he realized it was still up.

I look around searching for Rob. Only Reece, Ty, Matt and Jason stood at the door waiting to be allowed to enter the house. They came over quite often. They were always welcome here and they always enjoyed themselves and left cheerful.

"I heard you talking outside and you're voice sounded familiar, anyway, Tom's upstairs, come in." I told them kindly.

"Where's Rob?" I asked them, looking around trying to see if he was near or hiding behind one of them.

"He's… ummm… just parking the car down the street he'll be here in a minute."

Ty said slowly and suspiciously.

They all stared at each other, confused and curious about why I had asked for Rob. I knew someone would blab about it to Rob as soon as he came back.

They headed up the stairs where they met my mother and father who were playing chess in the spare room. Mom seemed to be winning.

"Hello boys, are you here to see Tom, he's expecting you. You all have fun now." My mom said politely.

Reece and his friends all nodded their heads and walked to Tom's room, where Ty knocked twice on the door.

"Hey, man!" Tom greeted them, while opening his door.

They entered Tom's room and did who knows what in there.

Mostly videogames – I guess.

There was a soft knock at the door a couple minutes after Tom's friends had entered his room. I hurried down the stairs to answer it.

It was Rob.

My heart started pounding as if it were about to shoot out of my chest and onto the floor.

I smiled at him.

He wore a tight black t-shirt, grey skinny jeans and a pair of black converse shoes, which were the same as the ones I had bought yesterday. I loved the way it his shirts stuck to him.

"Good morning," Rob said smiling back.

"Hi," I replied, still with the smile on my face. "You're here with Reece and you're other friends. They just went upstairs."

"You look very nice, are you going out today?"

"No, just staying at home as usual," I explained.

"Dressed like this? WOW! I can't imagine what you'd look like if you dressed up to go out."

I laughed. It was very flattering.

"Where's your brother and Jason and all that? I know they're upstairs but why?"

"They're upstairs in Tom's room because that's where the games are. Boys and games… equals fun, right?" I asked.

He looked nervous and confused.

"Right, um…Could you lead the way? I've never been here before, remember?"

I walked up the stairs and led him to my brother's room, passing my mothers and fathers' room, the spare room then my room to get to Tom's room.

Rob paused in the hallway.

"Is this your room?"

"Yeah, it is," I said embarrassed.

Why did I have to leave the door open?

I walked into my bedroom and sat on my bed and Rob followed, looking around.

"I'm sure they won't mind if I'm missing for a little while, they probably won't even notice I'm gone," He said softly.

He came and sat on my bed, crossing his legs.

"You know that you've been driving me insane lately. That one answer to my one little question has still kept me up at night and I still want to know the answer to that, you could be the death of me?"

I could have been if he knew the truth about my evil thoughts I use to have. I think he was going to be the death of me.

"What question?" I asked as if I couldn't remember. How could I ever forget?

"The one about someone you're interested in?"

"You tell me yours first, you tell me who you're interested in and I might tell you mine," I said.

"Might? Well…I have a proposition for you, if I do tell you; will you promise me that you will tell me your answer? Deal?"

"I promise. You have yourself a deal." I confirmed.

We sat there quietly. I crossed my legs to position myself like him on top of my bed. Luckily, my dress wasn't tight.

I watched his eyes.

He took a deep breath and leaned forward, close to my face. I could feel his warms breath. He put his lips close to my ear.

"You, you're the one,"

I felt a current pass through my body. I couldn't believe my ears. There were no words to describe how I was feeling but to sum it up I was shocked, shaken, stunned and relieved, all at the same time.

I smiled.

I hope I wasn't dreaming. It sounded too good to be true.

Me? I'm the one?

He pulled back to his original seating position and smiled back at me.

"Now your turn,"

I could see how much he wanted to know this. I could see that he didn't want his feelings to be reciprocated.

I kept my eyes locked on him. I pushed myself forward about a centimeter away from his beautiful, angelic face. So close as if our lips were about to touch but they didn't. He inhaled the smell of my perfume on my skin and he closed his eyes.

"You're the one I say yes to. You're the one I want. I have never wanted someone so much in my life." I whispered in his ear.

I pulled back and he continued to keep his eyes closed.

I heard a door creak and the sound of voices from my brother's room.

"Where's Rob? He's taking way too long," Jason, asked peering outside Tom's room.

"Lets just play the game in my room, he'll come, he's probably just around the corner. Why didn't he park the car infront of my house? It would have caused you less of a hassle." Tom suggested.

"Hope he didn't get lost," Ty said, concerned.

They went back into the room to continue their game.

We sat there in silence.

. I stared at him. I had to break the silence and let him go with his friends. It was so good to sit here with him with no walls, no interruptions. We were able to talk and I found out what I needed to know.

"I think your friends are looking for you, you better go. Your friends are very observant,"

His opened his eyes.

"Okay, thanks for telling me. I really like you Lana," Rob turned away smiling and stopped near the door. He turned to face me and walked into my direction. I sat on my bed while he walked back to me. Rob leaned forward and pushed his soft lips against my forehead. He left my room to meet his friends. Rob knocked on the door and Ty answered.

"Hey! Man, where have you been?" Ty asked.

"I kinda got lost. But it's cool, I'm here now. Give me a go at the X-Box."

I ran down stairs to the living room, ecstatic. I jumped onto our lounge.

You, you're the one…I really like you Lana. I thought to myself, thinking about everything he had said to me. His answer couldn't have been put in a more perfect way.

It was true. He did feel something for me.

I don't say no to everyone and now I have proof.

What will happen when my brother finds out? What would my mom and dad think? How will they react? Will Rob tell Reece, Ty, Jason and Matt? Are they going to hate him?

I hated the possibility that everyone would disapprove. It was an option they all had. But I knew one person who would love the fact that I found a boy I was interested in and on the other hand, I knew that there was another person who I had disappointed and had broken their heart.

I could hear the mumbling of my brother and his friends upstairs. They ordered some Chinese food and ate it in his room. They never left, only to go to the bathroom. It was almost dinnertime and they were still enjoying their videogames. Mom and dad went out to visit a close friend, which left me in charge with dinner. I decided to make roast chicken with potatoes and carrots.

I began defrosting the stone cold chicken and began chopping up the potatoes and carrots. I began marinating after the chicken was defrosted and placed it in the oven.

I past the time reading my mother's cookbook I bought for her and by making a Caeser salad to go with the roast. I took out the tray from the oven.

The smell of the roast was irresistible and it was time for serving. I took both of the drumsticks, a lot of potatoes and carrots and a side of salad with a glass of water. I started to eat and had a bowl of vanilla ice cream with hundreds and thousand sprinkles. I was satisfied and I covered the roast with aluminum foil and placed it back in the oven. Afterward, I decided to watch television.

"It was a lot of fun, it's getting late, and we all should be heading off." I heard as footsteps descended from the stairs.

"Thanks for coming; I'll see you at school." My brother said.

They were down the stairs and waiting by the door.

"Bye Lana," The boys all said, ready to leave.

"Bye!" I called out to them from the couch.

"Later," Jason said, "We'll do it again soon, but maybe at someone else's house… Rob?" Jason suggested staring at Rob.

Tom opened the door and they all left. Rob was walking last behind them. He turned and he waved at me and showed his perfect smile.

I loved his smile. I loved him.

I smiled back and he turned and walked out the door.

The sound of his car roared down the street, the noise muted disappearing as they drove out of sight, the neighbourhood filling with silence.

I went up to my room and continued my daily routine with my shower and sleep.

Mom and dad's chuckling confirmed that they were home and they seemed to have had a very pleasurable evening.

When I entered my room, I heard a ringing noise. I thought it was water, which probably got into my ears during my shower but it didn't stop. I searched around my room, the sound guiding me to whatever it was. It led me to my bed. I searched under my quilt.

I found a silver slide-able phone. The screen was flashing and a phone number was showing.

I answered it.

"Hello," I answered cautiously.

It was the one voice, which I wanted to hear.

"Hey Lana, you're not asleep yet, are you?" Rob asked.

"No, I was about to go to sleep but I heard a ringing noise which led me to this phone," I informed him.

"Sorry, I guess you're wondering who owns it."

"No, I kind of figured it out when you called and plus you're the only one who's been in my room besides from my family."

"Can you keep it safe for me and I'll come by in the morning to pick it up and

I'll drive you to school."

"Can you do that? Wouldn't my brother ask why you're picking me up? I know he'll ask. Did you tell you're friends?"

"Did you want my friends to know? And plus it would give me an excuse to come see you."

"Maybe you can tell them in a couple of days."

"I won't tell them then. I'll see you tomorrow. Sweet dreams. Bye"

"Bye…"

The phone disconnected and I placed it on my beside table next to my lamp. I couldn't sleep. Not yet.

I was overexcited about tomorrow. I couldn't wait to tell Nina. But she'd have to keep it a secret until we made it public. I didn't want Luke to find out without me telling him first. I knew his reaction, he'd rather I be single than dating some guy. I was excited because I would get to spend most of my day with him.

I won't tell Nina, but I will. We just need to figure some things out first.

After hearing all that, I still had that vision in my head of him running away and coming back to hunt me down with an angry mob after I showed him what I was. But if he truly loved me he won't run away. I was ready to show him what I was and what ever reaction I would get I would have to live with that. I wouldn't be able survive the rejection.

I kept thinking about the options I had if everything went wrong and I became the hunted. Even if they tried to burn me, I just stay perfect as I already am. My clothes would only burn.

They could never kill me, except if I were human. If I were human, it would be so much easier to love him. I wouldn't have tried to kill him and I wouldn't have to explain what I am. Sometimes I want to know what it feels to be normal. How simple my life would be and I would be able to enjoy my life freely and not have to worry about hiding what I am.

The phone vibrated making a buzzing noise against my wooden side table waking me from my serious thinking. I sat up and grabbed the phone. Rob had received a text message from someone. I didn't want to read it because it may not be for me but I was curious.

I opened the message.

I love you. Rob. Xoxo

It was for me. I had received a message from rob. It was sweet of him. He loved me and I loved him and I couldn't wait for tomorrow.

6. Dilemma

Everything was perfect in my life. If I could have this for an eternity, I would give everything I owned.

I had already gotten dressed in my jeans and green shirt with my green converse shoes. My things were packed in my school bag and I was eager to see him.

I looked at the clock on my dresser and it was only seven in the morning. I hadn't realized I had gotten up so early.

I paced down the stairs, where my mom sat at the dinner table across from my father while my father sat at the table with his coffee in one hand and his daily newspaper in the other, cheery as usual.

"You're up early. Did you look at the time? It's only five past seven," My mother asked, shocked.

"I know," I said happily, grabbing a stack of hot pancakes on the table and placing them onto my plate. I poured maple syrup on them and began to eat.

I think this was a first for them. I had never woken up this early before, by myself. My mom would always have to come into my room and yell at me to get up.

"Is there something important on today?" My dad asked me, trying to remember if he had forgotten a special occasion.

"No, a friend is coming to pick me up and I don't want them to wait for me."

"Oh… that's nice," My father said while he focused on his newspaper.

I looked at the time and it was almost eight. Had I really taken that long to eat some pancakes? I stood up from my seat, scraping the linoleum floor and placed my plate in the sink. I got more nervous as the time past. My brother came racing down the stairs, reaching for a glass of orange juice and a slice of toast with jam on his way to the door.

"Who's driving?" Tom asked me with his mouth full.

"Tom! Don't talk with your mouth full, it's rude," My mother advised him.

"Not to mention disgusting and your driving," I told him "Because I'm not riding with you, a friend is coming to pick me up."

"Whatever, I'm gonna go to school now. Bye mom and dad." Tom yelled, running out the door and to the garage.

My dad continued to read and mom sat at the table watching my father. Dad stood up and grabbed his keys from the dish and walked to the door, just like Tom had done.

"I'll see you tonight, bye Lana and Sarah." My dad said.

Mom walked over and gave him a kiss and my dad headed off to work in his car. Mom began to talk.

"So who's the friend picking you up? Is it Nina? Kristen? Anyone I know?"

"No, someone else mom,"

"A boy?"

"Yeah" I laughed, rather embarrassed. "I'll introduce him to you when he gets here,"

I was glad the men had already left the house or this would have been weird and awkward, all at the same time.

There was a melodious knock on the door and I opened it. It was Rob, of course. He looked dazzling as usual. He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek and I blushed in response.

"Hello," He said irresistibly.

"Hi" I smiled back, handing back his phone.

I grabbed his soft warm hands and pulled him to my mother. My mom waited by the staircase, ready to greet the mystery boy.

"There's someone I want you to meet, this is my loving mother, Sarah"

Rob kissed my mom's cheek.

"It's very nice to meet you. You are very stunning just like your daughter."

My mom laughed, her cheeks turning bright red.

"Thank you, you are very sweet. I think you should both head off to school. We'll have you over for dinner sometime," My mother suggested.

"That would be very nice, bye Mrs. Hallow" He replied.

My mother waved.

We walked outside, my hand still in his as he dragged me to the car. He opened my door and waited while I got in so he could close the door. He walked to his side, opened it and got in. I put on my seatbelt while he started the car and we drove off down the street. He was a very good driver.

"Your mother is very beautiful, just like someone I know. It's disappointing that we don't have any classes together today." He told me, sadly. "Have you told anyone yet? And did you get my message?" He asked.

"Yeah, it would have been nice to have a class with you but we've got a class together tomorrow. I got your message, it was very sweet," I answered while I reached for his hand on the gear stick.

He smiled, flashing his sparkling, perfect white teeth.

"Well… about telling them, I think your friends are going to notice when I get out of the car with you so you might aswell and you should rub it in a bit." I laughed. "I'll tell my friends when I see them, let's just hope everyone will be okay with this,"

"Do you know that I don't have your phone number?" Rob informed me, unexpectedly.

"Right," I realized.

I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen from my bag. I wrote down my number, and slid it into his pocket located on his chest. It was so muscular, like stone.

"Thanks" He smiled.

We arrived at school just after I had jotted down my number for him. They all stood in the parking lot.

Staring.

Rob parked in his usual spot and I got out of the car first. I looked over to Reece, Ty, Jason and Matt. Their faces, full of shock. Their facial expressions confirmed everything.

They knew who I was with.

I looked at Nina, Luke, Linda, Harry and Kristen. They were all shocked too – not to mention everyone else in the parking lot, who stared at us. I knew I couldn't avoid the questions. Rob got out of the car and looked at me.

"I'll see you at lunch, yeah?" He told me.

"Yeah," I replied.

He walked off to his friends and I walked off to mine.

"You're dating?" Nina asked surprised, happy for me, hugging me. "Since when?"

"Yeah, just a couple of days ago," I laughed.

Linda and Kristen hugged me and congratulated me. Beside Harry stood Luke, his looked very sad and angry. I didn't understand why he was angry. I knew why he was sad and suddenly Luke glanced up at me and stalked off with Harry into the school.

The bell rang and I was off to Gym class on the other side of school. I wanted to talk to Luke and explain so badly. I never wanted to hurt him.

What was wrong with Harry? Why was he angry with me too?

I got changed into my gym clothes in the girls locker room. I none of my friends were in this class so I kept quiet until we began playing. Our class was playing basketball. Coach Lapal, a loud, dark haired man ordered us into teams. My teammates were given blue braids and we were on first. All the people in my class were very energetic and skillful but they were very competitive like I am. We won all our games against the other teams and I got alot of baskets in.

I was exhausted.

I was just waiting for lunch. I needed to explain to Luke. I wanted to know why.

When the bell rang for lunch and I ran into Harry who was making his way to the cafeteria. Without any hesitation I asked him why he was angry with me in the morning.

"We're you angry with me this morning Harry?" I asked politely.

"No, did I look angry? Why would I be? You know how Luke likes you and he just needed a friend, and that was me. I was trying to keep up with him. I'm actually happy for you. Just don't tell Luke that,"

"Thanks, I just needed to know,"

He walked with me to the cafeteria where I saw Luke. I ran after him seeing as h e was trying to avoid me.

"LUKE WAIT!" I yelled after him.

He paused in the hallway while Harry walked off to leave give us some privacy.

"What!" He hissed as he turned to face me.

"Why are you being like this? Why are you so angry with me," I asked

"I don't know,"

"That's not a reason. It's because of Rob isn't it?"

He stood there silently, unable to answer my question.

"I know that you've liked me for a very long time. I just see you as a very good friend. I'm really sorry about this and I didn't mean to hurt you. I had no intention of hurting you." I tried to explain.

"I always thought that someday you'd see me more than a friend but I guess I was wrong," He kept continued to stare at his shoes. "I wanted it to be so much more than that."

"I know and I'm sorry I can't be that girl. Your friendship means more to me than anything else and there's alot of girls that like you, you just don't know. It has been so many years and I don't want you to give your heart to someone that won't give theirs to you. I can't be that girl but someone else is willing to be," I told him.

"I'm sorry too Lana, I shouldn't have reacted this way. I'm such an idiot sometimes. I should have been happy for you and that's all I ever wanted… For you to happy even if it's not with me. It hurts but I'll live."

I hugged him and I knew it was going to be hard for him but he needed to move on because I couldn't provide what he needed. I couldn't be that girl. Luke didn't know how sorry I was. I wanted to tell him over and over. I hoped that this bump wouldn't affect our friendship, but I knew it would. Things were never going to be the same.

We walked to the cafeteria and in the corner of the lunchroom was an empty table where Rob sat with two trays of food.

"Go on." Kristen said looking over to Rob's table, "We'll survive with out you,"

I walked over to him smiling, turning around to see Nina winking at me and Luke still upset.

"Hello," He said as I sat down opposite him.

"Hi"

"What. No kiss?" He asked

"You know I want to but too many people."

"That's a stupid reason, who cares anyway?" he told me "I got you a sandwich and a fruit salad and a can of coke," He said while picking them up to show me.

"I didn't know what you'd want so…" He trailed off.

"It's okay. I like what you got me, and the truth is I don't want to upset Luke,"

"I'm guessing it didn't go to well with you're friends then," He assumed. "You should have seen mine,"

"Was it that bad? And is that why you're sitting here, alone?" I laughed. "No, I'm joking, all my friends took it very well except for Luke. He got angry at me but it's okay now. How did your friends react?"

"They were happy for me but still pissed because you're all mine and off the market. You're brother was very happy," He enlightened me.

"Really?" I said, surprised taking a bite of my chicken sandwich, staring at him. I had realized he had already eaten.

He began playing with my hand while our fingers twined. He smiled at me while he watched me eat. He let go and stood up to dispose of the rubbish. We talked about our classes and about what we were going to do later. I enjoyed his company.

Lunch just finished and we walked beside each other while everyone cleared off to their classes. He stopped at the cafeteria door and raised his hand and gently to my cheek, brushing it softly.

"Eyelash," He whispered. "Make a wish,"

I closed my eyes and blew the eyelash off his hand.

"What did you wish for?" He asked curious.
"It won't come true if I tell you,"

"Good point, I'll see you after school," He walked down the corridor and into his class. I walked swiftly to my classroom hoping I wasn't late. I wasn't late, everyone was talking, the teacher wasn't in the classroom.

My wish was that when I tell Rob what I am, he wouldn't run away.

I sat in class staring at the board; trying to pay attention, I knew my history.

Rob waited by his car in the parking lot. I almost ran to him, almost revealing myself. Everyone had already gone home.

"Hi, I was waiting for you." He said sweetly,

"I know, so are we going?" I didn't want to keep him waiting any longer.

"Not yet, my friends don't believe that you said yes to me so I'm going to show them and plus I have to give your brother his phone back,"

He grabbed my hand and we walked to the football field at the back of the school. His hand was so warm, I didn't' want to let go. There were alot of girls sitting on the seats watching the boy's train.

Didn't they have anything better to do besides staring at brainless boys? Well I guess if there here, then they don't.

Ty, Reece and Matt ran toward us in their football gear.

"So it's true." Reece said, depressed.

"Unfortunately" I said smiling.

"Told you," Rob teased,

"Yeah, whatever, we're very impressed." Matt said sarcastically.

They went back to continue training while I received glares from others girls on the stands.

Jealousy gets you nowhere.

"I'll be right back," He told me, letting go of my hand and crossing the field, trying to find my brother. Tom was doing laps up and down the field at a very high speed in his gear, trying to impress the dim-witted girls.

"Tom!" Rob yelled, waving his hand and my brother waved but he didn't stop running.

Why wasn't he stopping.

I followed Tom's eyes and they didn't lead to where they were supposed to be. I looked behind Rob and a girl stood their waving at Tom. The girl had blonde-long hair, a bug bust, and tight clothes on.

My brother was too busy with a girl?

NO!

Tom tried to stop and he began stumbling a couple of meters in front of him when he realized Rob was in the way. The grass was torn from the field, stuck to his boots. Rob stood there frozen, he had no time to move out of the way.

The one person I loved was about to crushed in a matter of seconds. He had just entered my world and he was about to leave it in just one moment. The center of my world was going to disappear.

When we lose control, everything in our path becomes a disaster zone. You don't want to be infront of it and I couldn't stand there and watch and let him die. It would be like standing in the middle of a road where a massive truck is about to hit you. The pain would be quick but just as painful. Tom's strength and speed put together were not a good mix.

Can't he do anything right?

I ran into the middle of the field and pushed Rob out of the way. I had to move quickly. I raised my hands in front of me where Tom ran into them, I stopped him, positioning him up right. I didn't care if I revealed my strength but I think no one noticed and I didn't care if they saw what I was.

Rob was on the field, in the position he had fallen, his hand on his leg near his pelvis.

Had I just broken him? Was my push to hard? I thought to myself, a million thoughts racing through my head.

"Rob! Are you okay? Is it you leg?" I said, my voice almost breaking. I was so scared of what I had done but it could have been worst. Everyone was looking, their mouths wide open and their beady eyes watching us.

They knew what I was.

"I'm fine, it's just that Tom's phone isn't," He reached into he left pocket and pulled the phone out. The screen smashed.

"Sorry Tom," Rob apologizing,

"It's okay, I'll just buy a new one, Are you alright? I'm really sorry," Tom asked.

"It's fine, I'm fine" He told me standing up. "Let's go home,"

We walked back to Rob's car and he drove me home. I didn't say anything. I was waiting for him to say something about what he had seen me do. The car ride was silent, the sound of the engine filling the car.

I was so angry with Tom.

He put the one I love in danger. His actions were caused by not focusing on what he was doing and it was all because of one stupid, shallow girl from school.

How could he do such a thing?

I couldn't wait to get home. Tom was going to get it.

Rob stopped infront of my house the engine roaring to a stop.

"Are you alright? You're not usually this quiet" he asked me.

"I'm okay, how about you? Didn't you see how everyone was looking at me. Aren't you afraid?" I whispered.

"I'm fine, I'll live, just some scratches." He said raising his elbow, "Everyone was looking at me, and they probably thought I broke my leg or something. What am I meant to be afraid of? I'll see you tomorrow,"

"Nothing." I said under my breath.

He leaned and kissed me on my forehead.

I was relieved my secret hadn't been exposed, not yet.

I left the car and waved as he drove off. I stalked into the house where Tom stood in the hallway of the living room.

"How could you do such a thing?" I hissed at Tom. I was furious at him and I didn't care what he had to say.

"Lana, wait… I…" He tried to explain,

"You could have killed him, do you know that?" I said, not letting him finish his sentence.

"Lana…I"

Mom and dad rose from their seats at the dining table, staring at us.

"What's all this about?" My father asked, his tone deep and ready to calm us down.

"All for some stupid girl!" I shouted walking towards him.

I raised my hand and swung it at his chest, backhanding him into the living room far wall. The wall crumpled to pieces and Tom was on the floor. He stood up dusting himself off. I ran up the stairs slamming my door. I lay on my bed and salty, wet drops of tears ran down my cheek.

I heard mom and dad questioning Tom. I hated him so much right now. I hated that girl.

I cried to myself to sleep that night.

I heard footsteps downstairs. I got up and walked downstairs.

"Mom! Dad! Is that you?"

I reached for the switch and turned on the light and there was a man dressed in all black with a white mask on. He lifted up his hand where he pointed a gun at me.

"You're the robber who's broken into fifteen homes, aren't you?"

I was not afraid, my day was worst enough as it could get.

What could this weak human do? I'm indestructible, impenetrable, immune to everything.

"That's right, your house number twenty. Now you're going to go back upstairs and go back to sleep, or someone's going to die tonight," He threatened me.

"I don't think that's going to happen. Empty the bag, those things don't belong to you," I ordered him.

"Aren't you afraid of dieing pretty girl, I could kill you so don't mess with me. I could blow off that pretty face of yours."

"No, I can kill you, without any weapons, go on then, pull the trigger. I dare you,"

He squeezed the trigger, a bang went off, and I stood there.

No blood, No scratches and no bloody corpse.

I sped infront of him. I was a meter away from him.

"You did that with no hesitation at all, you're not afraid?" I asked, glaring at him. "Keep trying, this is fun, isn't it?" I laughed.

He fired all his bullets at me and they just bounced off me dropping onto the living room floor. I grabbed him by his shirt and threw him onto the coffee table. The table smashed to pieces and hey laid there in the bit of broken glass. I tied him to the computer chair.

"I think the police would like to see you," I told him. I picked up all the bullets and threw them away before I dialed nine one one and they arrived in a couple of minutes.

"What are you?" He yelled at me, frightened. I paid no attention to him.

Two police officers placed handcuffs on him and took him away placing him in the police car.

"She's a machine, she can't die," He yelled out of the car window.

"Sorry ma'am, He's deluded." He apologized.

"That's fine,"

"Good night and thanks." He concluded and closed the door as he left.

I went back upstairs to my room.

Where was everyone?

It didn't matter, I just wanted to go back to sleep. I changed into my nightgown and went back to sleep. I would have my shower in the morning and fix the table and the wall some other day.

I couldn't get over what my brother had done. It ran through my mind repeatedly.

That girl. It was her fault.

I sat up, running my fingers through my hair.

I wanted to kill her because of what she did. I wanted revenge.

I stood up, jumped through my open window and ran to her house. In a matter of seconds I was there, glaring at her through her window. She lay there sound asleep. I'd like to make it permanent. She didn't have a problem, not a guilty conscience. She doesn't even know that it was her fault.

Melissa.

The stupid, shallow girl that almost cost the one I loved, his life. I wanted to tear through her room and backhand her into the wall.

But what good would that do? I'd only get satisfaction.

It was true what the robber had said, someone was going to die tonight. But I wasn't going to be the killer. I don't want to be a killer. I had fought so hard against those other thoughts I had before and I wasn't going to give in, not now.

I ran back home through the night, entering the same way I had left. The day was too much for me, I needed some rest.

7. Battle

I still couldn't forgive him for what he had done.

How could I?

People say blood is thicker than water but water seems to be pretty strong right now. It takes a lot of effort to break someone, yet he did it with no effort at all, and here I was glaring at him, his actions, unforgivable.

I sat at the dining table, biting into my apple. I sat in my seat quietly; the tablecloth was the center of my attention every morning since what had happened. I was not in the mood for talking or any activities. It wasn't on my agenda for the past couple of days. They all tried to make conversation with me but everyone would receive one-word answers. They all knew what was wrong and they gave me my space. I went through the days, lifeless. The images glued to my brain, my heart stinging with pain and yet he was enjoying himself.

Tom spent his days at one of his friend's house after the incident with the wall and me. He received the silent treatment. He wasn't even able to face me. The house was awfully quiet. I sat in my room all day, scribbling on paper, drawing whatever came to mind. Mom and dad asked me about the coffee table and I explained what happened. Mom was happy because she was going to get a new coffee table and dad was worried about me, mom was too.

School was a blur and I tried to focus on my work but that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. Rob tried his best to cheer me up but it hardly worked. Nina and Linda tried to take me into town to have fun but I wasn't feeling up to it. Luke was getting over me and I was happy to see that. Hopefully it wasn't an act and he was trying to get over me. We haven't really talked after our argument, things haven't been the same.

I didn't understand why I was angry, I wasn't angry at Tom, at no one. I was just disappointed in my brother, that he wasn't paying close attention to his actions and all for a girl.

It was the afternoon after I had come back from school. Mom and dad went out and the house was empty. I couldn't stay cooped up here forever. I needed to get out of the house so I went walking and bought an ice cream from the ice cream man who drove past. I didn't know where I was heading but I would go where ever my feet would take me. I thought about what Tom had done while licking my two scoops of vanilla ice cream in a waffle cone.

Maybe I was being too hard on Tom and I shouldn't let my mood bring everyone else down with me.

I had been walking for an hour, oblivious to the surroundings. I was almost at the house I had visited a couple of days ago in the middle of the night. It was made of maroon bricks, white windows and door. The curtains were yellow and outside their home was where a blue convertible parked in the driveway.

Her house

I was about a yard away until I saw something familiar.

Coming up the street was a white Honda Integra with no marks or scratches, tinted windows and a body kit. No one else owns a car like this around here and I knew who was driving it.

As it came up the street, I could hear laughs coming from the car, his laugh, a girl laughing and the stereo pumping electro beats.

His engine roaring and I stared as they were about to past me trying to make out who this girl was.

You've got to be kidding me. I thought, outraged.

I stared fiercely at the girl. Blonde-long hair, big bust and tight clothes.

Melissa.

He was riding with her?

All the things he had put me through because of this girl. She was what almost caused the death of the one I love. My Rob. He knew she was the cause and there he was, driving, with her sitting beside him.

I was just about to forgive him.

How could someone you love hurt you so badly?

He had just crossed the line and someone or something was going to pay. I hurled my ice cream at him, which splattered all over his windscreen and perfect car. It wasn't perfect anymore. He used the windscreen wipers to get some of it off while Melissa was screaming, her face full of shock. His car paid for his mistake but I wasn't satisfied, not yet.

Tom searched for the person who threw it, the street was empty and then he saw me.

He reversed the car and drove towards me.

"What the hell Lana?" He yelled at me.

"Are you talking to me now? And that's the problem with you; you care more about the car than you do about me." I shouted at him.

"You gave me the silent treatment,"

"And your not man enough to talk to me, and is this your girlfriend?" I hissed, pointing at her, furious. "She better not be."

"Yeah, she is."

The girl sat there quietly in the passenger seat.

"I should go," She said trying to get out of our argument.

"Yeah, you should go, go somewhere far away," I screamed at her.

"No, don't, stay," He said to calm her down.

"Fine then, listen to this. You almost caused the one person I love in my life to almost be crushed to death, and my stupid brother can't see that it's his fault and yours and here his is, driving you around. He hasn't even tried to apologize, so I backhanded him into a wall and now he's at someone's house and dating you,"

"Shut up Lana, just shut up!"

"Whatever! Just leave me alone… You know what I was almost about to forgive you and when you touch her face I hope that your finger slips and you crush her skull in," I said coldly.

I stalked off up the street back to the house, slamming the front door when I reached it.

I hated him so much.

When I arrived home, mom and dad were in the living room watching TV.

"Hey honey, home already. Have you talked to your brother yet?" My father asked concerned.

"Actually… I saw him when I went walking this afternoon. He was hanging out with that stupid girl who caused this mess. He didn't apologize, he just yelled at me. How can he be so blind and stupid? I had to hurl my ice cream at him, I was that angry. He cares more for his car than his own sister. I was about to forgive him and I see him riding with that bimbo?" I informed them, my voice getting louder and louder.

"Honey, maybe you're being too hard on your brother," My mom suggested,

"I have no brother," I whispered coldly and walked upstairs.

She stared at me as if a piece of her heart had broke off and shattered into a million pieces. Her face showing her pain and her hand held above her chest.

I went into my bathroom and took a quick shower. Afterward I just sat on my bed, deep in thought.

My phone rang and startled me.

I reached for it and answered.

"Hello," I said lifelessly,

"Hey," The voice said.

It was Rob. this was the first time he called me on my phone.

"How are you?"

"Fine, How about you?"

"I'm okay. Just worried about you,"

"Oh… we'll I'm fine, no need to check up on me," I reassured him.

"Okay, I can tell you're not in the mood for talking so I'll see you later?"

"Yeah,"

"I love you Lana,"

"I love you too, bye"

"Bye,"

I hung up.

I heard a knock on the door downstairs. I wasn't interested in who it was. I heard the chatter of voices and footsteps coming up and I lay on my side on my bed looking out the window, my back to the door. The night sky filled with stars, no moon to be seen, and shadows at every corner.

There was a tap on the door. My door creaked as the person entered.

"Lana,"

It was Tom.

What could he possibly want? He had caused enough turmoil in my life already.

"What," I mumbled.

"I'm sorry about today and the incident on the field,"

"You took your time, if that's all you've got to say then just go," I said softly.

"I'm sorry, I know it was her fault but I thought that you would get over it and move on, I know it's my fault too. I shouldn't have been paying attention to Melissa. I'm sorry."

I turned around and sat up. He didn't understand and now I could tell him everything.

"You don't know anything. Seventeen years and you don't know me at all. A girl Tom, a girl, you chose that girl over me. I would never thought you would do such a thing, ever. You don't know how much it hurt when I saw you with her. You never tried to apologize instead you screamed at me and stuck up for her. I don't know what I can do about this because it hurts so much."

"I'm sorry, can you forgive me?"

"What would you do? Would you forgive me if I did what you just did?"

He didn't answer, the room was silent.

"I didn't think so,"

"But I would find it in my heart to forgive you," He whispered.

I sat up and looked at him. His eyes filled with water and a tear escaped down his cheek.

"I didn't realize how much I hurt you," He said.

I walked over to him and wiped away his tear. I hugged him. He knew he made a mistake and now he has realized it.

"I forgive you," I whispered almost about to cry.

I let go and looked at him. He wiped away his tears with the back of his hand and left the room into his bedroom.

I was still not at peace. As long as he still dated her, I wouldn't rest and get over it. He took a while to figure that out. I didn't understand what ran through his mind, maybe it takes him longer to figure things out. That was obvious.

I walked to his room and tapped on his door. I forgot one thing. I opened it and entered.

"I forgot to ask you something so I'm going to come out and say it. Are you still going to date her?" I asked quietly.

"After all she's done, I don't think so, that wouldn't be right and I don't want to lose my little sister," He confessed.

"Right. I was just checking unless you weren't in your right mind, you have to promise me you won't ever do something like this ever again. Or next time I won't be so forgiving."

"I promise, good night Lana and I'm sorry,"

"I know," I said, while opening the door.

I left him to go to sleep and went back to my bedroom. I drifted off to my happy place, thinking of one person only. Rob. Some other things began returning, thing that I hadn't thought about for a while.

Tom had finally apologized and the dimwitted girl wouldn't bother us anymore and cause us anymore trouble. I'd still have to face at school but she was surely to avoid me after what I had said, before.

I was happy because I had returned to my normal self. Rob was surely going to ask what was wrong me and I'd have to explain when I could. Telling him right now wouldn't make any sense if I did.

When was I going to tell him?

He was honest with me and I wasn't returning the favor. I promised that I would tell him when I knew the truth about how he felt and he told me he loved me.

If he loved me, he wouldn't love me any less when I'd tell him the truth, would he?

My mind was clear. I was now worrying about my friends, Luke and Nina. Luke's birthday was in a couple of days and Nina had not asked Luke about the concert. I was going to bring that up with her tomorrow. I wanted Luke to move on and Nina could help me with that.

I couldn't sleep. I went to sit on the computer. It had been a long time since I had checked my email inbox. I had six unread messages. Two were advertisements and three were from Nina and one from Luke. I opened Nina's first. It read:

Hey, how are you and rob? I mean… I still haven't asked Luke yet. He's really doesn't like Rob and you… together. Why couldn't I be the one he liked? Can you help me out? Some advice please…  Love you, Nina xoxo

She definitely wanted him and I was going to make it happen. Nina is a wonderful girl, too bad that Luke is too blind to see it. They'd be happy together. This was my mission.

The other message from Nina was about why I didn't reply. She never told me this at school. I wrote back and told her she's lovely the way she is and he'll come around soon and about me and rob, I told her it was all great.

I didn't want to read Luke's message because I knew it would only be his about his disapproval of Rob. It could be something important but I doubted that. Luke's e-mail read:

Hey Lana, How are you? I don't know why I'm saying this but I don't like him. You are both so different, he's not right. I just get a feeling. Anyway, I'll see you at school. Bye. Luke. Xoxo.

I was right and a bit irritated. Who was he to say that Rob was wrong for me? He said he was happy and yet he still wrote this. I had to tell him what I thought of him. I began typing. I didn't know how this would sound but it all came out. I tried to put my words the nicest way as possible.

Hi Luke, I've been good. I know you don't like Rob but I do and I can't help the way you feel about him. Plus opposites attract and I enjoy his company. If you don't approve then so be it.

It seemed like our friendship was falling apart. I'm beginning to think so. Luke is a lovely boy and he's only a friend to me. I took a deep breath and read over my reply, then I hit the send button. He needed to know.

It was time I went to sleep, it was very late and I had school. I switched of the computer and climbed into bed where I instantly shutdown.

8. Surprises

Love… Why is it so damn hard? But it's so beautiful and the experience is unforgettable and yet is so hard to fall in love because you can fall in love with the wrong person.

I sat in my car, thinking and listening to the radio with the air condition on. It was so hot and humid that I was in a singlet and shorts. I didn't want to leave the car, it was so cool and refreshing. Rob tapped on my window wearing his pair of black Ray-Ban sunglasses, which he wore with a black singlet and his favourite long pants. I turned off the air condition, took my key out of the ignition, and opened my car door to say hello.

It was scorching – imagine an oven.

"Hi, these should help," He said while he took off his sunglasses and put them on me.

"How do I look?"

"Beautiful as always," He said smiling kissing my cheek.

He had never kissed me on my lips. I didn't know why and I had my reason why I have never kissed him – anywhere. I wouldn't take a chance like that.

I saw Nina parking her car near the office stairs. I hurried by her side after Rob had left to his friends off somewhere. Kristen and Linda were nowhere to be seen. I hadn't spoken to Luke for a while.

I began to bring the conversation up about her and the concert tickets.

"So… Have you asked?" I asked, curious.

"No, I gave him the two tickets to his favourite band and I'm going to wait for him to ask me. Well I hope he does." She replied.

"Why didn't you just ask? They're your tickets"

"I know and you know… The whole thing about the boy is meant to ask the girl."

I looked at her.

What year is it? The nineteen hundreds?
"That's an ancient rule, who does that anymore?"

"I don't know, I'm just old fashioned, I guess," Nina laughed. "I'll see you soon, I have to get my text book from the maths block,"

She hurried into the school and Luke appeared behind me. He began to talk. This was the first time for a long time after our little fight. I wished he would be happy for me and not just say it.

"Hey Hallow, um…"

"Hi, what's up?" I asked.

I didn't know what he was about to say. More disapproval?

"I have two tickets to see my favourite band, they're having a concert and I was wondering…"

"You want me to go with you?" I asked, surprised.

Was he stupid or blind or something? Maybe both. I didn't give him a chance to say yes.

"Nina bought those tickets for you and I think the other ticket was meant for her and not me." I explained "and… I'm busy, sorry. She wants to go with you,"

"Oh…" Luke said, quickly turning around and walking off. This was the second time he had been refused.

I went to my usual class's one of them being English where Rob sat next to me. Mr. Anthony revealed the parts for the performance to the class. Kristen had won the part for Juliet and a boy named Daniel won Romeo. Everyone clapped and cheered but hearts were broken because they would not be the stars of the show.

Our next assignment was the set. People volunteered to be behind the scenes. Rob and I didn't want any part of this so we received the role of watching the play come to life. Our whole class went down to the great hall to figure out where things were going and who were going to be the extras. I sat next to Rob while he played with my fingers as I watched everyone run around the hall trying to figure things out.

"Lana. Are you doing anything after school?" He asked, looking deep into my eyes while I studied his face, still holding my hand in his palm.

"Well… I'll be doing homework. That's anything,"

"Haha, very funny." He said, sarcastically

"No, I'm not, why?"

"I've got something planned for us,"

"I can't wait. Do I have to dress nicely?"

"Think cold, so jeans and a jumper. I know it's hot but it'll help."

"Uh oh," I laughed.

"I'll pick you up around six?"

"Sure,"

I sat there smiling not knowing what was installed for me. Cold? This place is hot all the time. Where could he possibly take me?

"I wanted to ask you about something?" he added.

"Shoot," I replied without any hesitation.

"What was up with you and your brother? I know you were fighting but why?"

"That's hard to explain… um… it wouldn't make sense if I told you now, but I will tell you,"

He continued to play with my hand.

I was on my way to lunch. I waited in line and reached for my daily intake of food. I sat with my friends while Rob sat with my brother and his other friends. I was the first to our table. I stared ubiquitously while I began munching on my food.

I sat alone until I heard a voice yelling my name. I scanned the room to find who it was but the person joined me at my table soon enough.

"Lana, Lana! Guess what? Luke asked me to the concert." Nina said, jumping up and down and clapping her hands. "I told you my plan would work,"

"Right… congratulations, I knew he would,"

Everyone started to come in and get their lunch. Luke sat next to Nina and they began their conversation about Luke's birthday party.

"No no, just a get together at my place then I'm going to a concert with Nina," he said smiling at her.

Everyone nodded and continued to talk while I listened and got involved in the discussion.

The day flew past and I was already on my way home. I needed to wash my car today too. It was just a while before Rob was coming to pick me up. Tom had football practice and mom was home alone – once again.

I reached for the bucket and sponge in the garage filling it with water and detergent. I began scrubbing. Doing it the normal way was going to take forever, no one in my street would watch me wash my car and it wouldn't hurt to doing it quickly but I decided not to risk it.

Two boys looked at me as they walked past.

"Hey boys, do you want to make some fast money? I'll give you fifty each if you wash my car and wax it… properly." I asked.

"Okay!" The boy said without any hesitation and hurried to my car.

"I'll come and see how you're going in forty minutes."

I ran into the house, upstairs and took a shower, changing into my faded skinny jeans and my grey jumper, running back downstairs to go see how my car was going.

"I see you and Tom are okay now? And why are you wearing a jumper? It's too hot." My mom asked from the computer.

"Yeah, I forgave him and I'm wearing this because I have a date with rob and he told me where going to somewhere cold." I explained, smiling.

"I hope his not taking you to Antarctica," She laughed.

Tom through the door and stared at me.

"Why are there two boys washing your car?" He asked confused.

"I'm paying them," I told him.

"Why don't you do it? It'll be way faster and cost you less; a drive-through car wash could have also helped,"

"Too late," I said while hurrying outside. I heard mum and Tom talking as I left closing the door behind me.

They were doing a very good job. They finished just a few minutes after I came outside. I reached into my pants pocket and handed them one fifty dollar note each.

"If you need us, just come by our house. I'm Peter and this is my brother Sean," He introduced.

"I think I'll use the car wash service, I'm paying too much," I said smiling.

They walked down our driveway and down the street.

I walked back inside to wait for Rob, mom continued to type on the computer. There was a tap on the door and Rob waited there, kissing my cheek like our last greeting. He wore a tight turtleneck long sleeve shirt in white and black long pants. I loved his shirt.

"Bye mom!" I yelled, closing the door behind me while she waved goodbye.

We stopped at the front of the passenger door.

"You have to put this on." He told me,

He pulled out a blind fold out of his pocket, tying it for me.

I laughed. He guided me into my seat, I could hear the car starting, and the car began moving.

"This is weird and dangerous… are we there yet?" I asked, very nervous. "You're not kidnapping me, are you?"

He laughed my favourite laugh. It was lovely, so beautiful.

"Why would I kidnap you? You're already mine and we're almost there," He replied.

I sat quietly trying to figure out where we were going. The car came to a halt. He left his side and opened the door holding onto my hand and pulling me to somewhere mysterious. It was cold. I could feel the coldness on my skin. He untied the blind fold.

It was so exquisite. There was a little maple brown table on the side of the room with a vase of roses on top, in the center. There were also white, lit candles and the table was already set with white porcelain plates and silver cutlery. In the centre of the room was a massive skating rink with gold lights above it streaming in all directions.

"Do you like it? I booked this place all for us," He asked.

"Wow, it's beautiful," I said while hugging him.

He held my hand as we walked to the table. He pulled out my chair and I sat down. A man came out from the controller box with our meals. He was our waiter for the evening. He came out with two plates of spaghetti and we had a banana split sundae for desert.

"What's the occasion?" I asked staring at his beautiful face.

"No occasion, I wanted to take you somewhere special, that's all," He replied reaching for my hand.

The food was wonderful. After we finished we talked for a while, chatting about random things, mostly family and the past.

Rob reached into his pocket and pulled out a box, holding it out infront of me and slowly opening it.

My heart stopped. I hope it wasn't a ring but the box was slightly bigger and thinner. The box was red velvet with a little red ribbon tied around it. I kept my eyes on the box until if was fully open.

My hands covered my mouth.

It was stunning. Shiny, silver and it had two charms on it. One was a crystal red heart and the other was a diamond Eiffel Tower. Rob pulled it out and placed it on my wrist.

"I love you so much," He said, "and this is yours forever to remind you of how much I do, this heart is my heart, I'm giving it to you," he said touching it gently

"And the Eiffel tower is in France and that's where I hail from,"

He kissed me on the cheek. I was speechless. The words wouldn't come out and no words could explain this moment.

The waiter came out with another large box, much larger than a jewellery box and placed it infront of me. I removed the wrapping. Rob watched me as I opened it. It was a pair of blue ice skates.

I put mine on while he put on his. We walked to the door of the rink and entered first. I couldn't remember the last time I had done this. I held his hand as we skated. The lights gleaming and soft music played as we skated. Rob showed me some tricks as he skated around. He was exceptionally good. I was still afraid of falling but I soon got the hang of it.

I skated staring at the ice. At that moment, I lost my footing and slipped but I paused, my eyes about to close, waiting for the sound to erupt, wondering why I hadn't hit the floor yet. Luckily, I didn't or the ice would have cracked and a large hole would have to be filled. Not to mention an explanation.

Rob had caught me, one hand supporting my back and the other one a bit lower down my back near my hip.

I gazed into his blue eyes wishing for this moment not to end. He placed my upright and held my hand.

"Are you alright? I should get you home or your mom will never let me in the house again," He suggested, smiling.

I nodded.

We got in the car and Rob started it. I fell asleep as he drove me home. Somehow, I was still awake but half-asleep. When the car stopped and the engine turned off, I knew I was home. I felt Rob pick me up and enter our house, shutting the door with his foot. He carried me upstairs to my room as I held on tightly, my hands around his neck and my head against his chest smelling his cologne. He placed me in my bed and left the room. I could hear a soft whisper and someone entered the room and came to lie beside me.

"Rob?" I mumbled, turning around, my eyes still closed.

"It's me, sleep. I'll be right here." He responded.

He kept his arm around me above my hip, lying very close to me. My head lay on his chest while my armed wrapped around his torso.

I didn't realise until I woke up that he had spent the night.

The sun burst into my room, the light waking me up. I laid there quietly staring at my ceiling, trying not to wake him. Rob lay beside me still asleep, looking stunning. He opened his eyes and stroked my hair.

"Awake already?" He asked. "Sleep well?"

"Perfect." I replied. "You?"

"Exceptionally well, I should probably get home and change. Imagine what your neighbors will say seeing me in the same clothes."

"They're going to see and I don't care what they say. I've got something for you, it's actually something I have to show you," I said while looking down at the clothes on my floor.

"I'll be back in a few minutes and then you can show me," He told me as we both left my room downstairs where mom, dad and Tom waited.

They sat at the dinner table eating breakfast, pausing as we came down the stairs.

"Hello," Rob greeted them, looking very nervous. "I spent the night," Rob explained looking at my father. My dad looked protective – of me, of course.

"I know, Sarah told me,"

"You're not bothered?"

"No,"

LIE! His stare gave it away.

"I'll just be on my way." He said looking at me. "I'll be by soon,"

"Yeah," I said waving from the stairs as he left.

I had never brought a boy home – ever. Nor let him sleep in my room. My dad and mom probably wondered what we did in there, always thinking the worst and they'd bring it up. That was the one thing that made me embarrassed.

"Did you use protection?" My mom asked.

"MOM!" I groaned.

"All we did was sleep,"

"Sleep together," Tom added in, eating his cereal almost choking on it about to laugh.

"Just eat your cereal," I told tom. "I would never do such a thing, not yet and Dad, what were those stares for?"

"Honey, one thing I need to tell you is that I am never going to like any boy you bring home,"

"I know but he's important and I'm telling him,"

"That he's important or our secret?" Tom asked sarcastically.

I looked at him coldly and turned away to see mom and dad's reaction.

They were looking at each other. Mom had the 'questionable look' face on.

"Are you sure you can trust him?" My mom asked.

"I'm sure, He's not going to tell, and I trust him."

"Good because I don't want to have to silence him if he begins hunting us and telling everyone, let's just hope that his trust is enough," Dad informed me.

I hurried upstairs to get ready for today. I did my usual routine, brushing my teeth and hair, washing my face and drying off. I stared at my bracelet he had given me last night. This meant something and he wouldn't throw this away, at least I hope he wouldn't.

I was going to tell him – today.

Today was Luke's birthday. I hadn't said happy birthday yet so I decided to call him. I dialed the number on my phone and waited for him to answer.

"Hello,"

"Hey Luke, its Lana. Happy birthday. Sorry I can't come but I got you a present." I told him.

No. I didn't have a present but I'll pick one up, maybe a sports car.

"You didn't have to, so what are you doing today?" He asked, prying.

"Family things… Have fun with Nina tonight and tell her I said hi,"

"Yeah, I will."

"Bye birthday boy," I said with a laugh.

"Bye," He said then hung up.

It was nice to see him happy and Nina was surely to call me and tell me everything that happened.

I couldn't keep my eyes away from my wrist. It glittered in the light as it covered my room, the red crystal sparking onto my bedroom wall. I couldn't eat, I was too nervous and if I did I was sure that I'd throw up.

I thought about the different ways of telling him, one of them being jumping off a cliff and running back to surprise him but he'd think I were a ghost or a figure of his imagination that he had created.

There was no simple way of saying 'I'm a freak slash monster by the way'. They didn't have any hallmark cards for that either. If I just tell him, he wouldn't believe me that's why I have to show him instead.

My imagination ran wild for a couple of minutes, dreaming of ways to show him.

What if he didn't run away?

I wondered what would happen but I'd let that part come together itself. There was no point in lingering over those thoughts. If it were meant to be than, he would stay. He's allowed to be afraid.

If I told you what I am, wouldn't you be afraid too?

He would be the first person I have ever told. The only person to know our family secret but there were others like us out there just waiting to be discovered.

Rob was going to be back soon and he'd finally find out what I am.

9. Identity

Normal

My life would be so much simpler and easier if that was what I was, but I'm far from that. I look like every other human in this world but we're not the same.

Does that mean I can't get into heaven?

This is what I am and you can't hate what your apart of.

I met Rob at the door after my hard thinking upstairs. My mom and dad still sat as the dining table while my brother disappeared, off to amuse himself. Rob and I walked side by side to the first garage and got into my shiny Honda.

"So… where are we going?" Rob asked curiously opening his door and sliding inside.

"Somewhere deserted," I told him, unsure, starting the car.

I knew the perfect place but I was so worried. My heart thudding and butterflies filled my stomach.

Off about a mile away from our school was an abandoned playground where a primary school used to exist until it was demolished. There was never anything built there. It was deserted and full of warehouse, mostly abandoned. It was open and away from people which was the most important thing. No one ever goes there anymore, there's no point going down that way, it ends as a dead end and who would want to go to a place where it looked liked forbidden spirits owned the place.

As we drove Rob talked about my dad and his glares, I was off in my own world thing about my explanation.

"You know, your dad scares me. It's like he's going to murder me," He said shivering, thinking of the look.

"I've never brought a boy home before, he's my dad. They always think the worst of you," I replied.

I parked my car on the golden brown dirt and got out.

"Romantic," Rob said sarcastically taking in the dull scenery.

"I brought you here for a reason, there's more to me than you think," I told him searching for a reaction but he kept quite, paying close attention and looking a bit distressed.

I stood in the middle of the playground – the playground was now dirt and more dirt, no swings or slides just dirt. I didn't understand why they still call it a playground but I guess because of what it used to be.

"I'm not what you think I am…My fathers about two hundred years old, not according to his driver licence. He was twenty one when it all happened and my moms a hundred and fifty years old."

"Are you joking? Is this a joke?" He asked, not believing a word coming out from my mouth.

"No," I replied, scared of what he'd say next, or what he'd do next. "You don't understand, this doesn't make sense to you and you won't believe it. I need to show you."

He remained silent, staring.

"Is there anything in France that is one of a kind, something you miss? Name anything, and I'll give it to you. Tell me…Please,"

"I want a sports car, a flatscreen television…" I looked at him, not happy. "I loved the croissants one man made, he owns a little stand near the Eiffel Tower. He's short, in his forties and always wears a yellow apron. He made them with a creamy chocolate inside which would pour out when you'd bite into them. He's the only one who makes them so special. I used to have them everyday, after school."

"Stay here… I'll be back in a minute,"

I disappeared past the warehouses. I ran.

I passed Toronto, then Montreal. It was very icy and cold and I headed straight for Paris crossing the inky waters. I arrived infront of the Eiffel tower searching for the yellow apron man and there his was at his stand like Rob had described.

Paris was beautiful, the weather, the landscapes, the people. I walked up to the man.

"Bonjour," The little man said delighted.

"Bonjour, Est-ce que je pourrais avoir croissant," I asked.

I gave him American money and he seemed pleased. I think I paid more than I was supposed to but I didn't care. I ran back to St Louis where Rob waited. I thought he would have left thinking this was a joke. I was back there in two minutes.

"Here," I said handing him the croissant.

"How did you… how did you get this?" Rob asked shocked.

"That's one of my abilities. Rapid speed, I'm faster than a bullet. I have to show you something else,"

I walked over to the warehouse, which had bricks so thick it was hard to demolish it. Rob followed me, looking afraid of what I was about to do. I stood in front of the bulky solid wall of bricks and I punched right through it, the bricks smashed to pieces to the ground, only a whole in the wall remained and dust on my shoes.

"Why did you that? Are you okay?" Rob asked, shock in his tone as he reached for my hand to look at it.

He held it up, inspecting it. There was no blood pouring out, no missing fingers no marks or scratches. He was speechless, staring at my hand.

"Incredible strength," I explained. "There's one more thing but I'll just tell you, I think this is too much already."

"So what are you?" He asked, interested.

I walked back to the car and sat on the hood of my car. Rob followed and sat beside me.

"You're not afraid?" I said quietly.

"Shocked…" He enlightened me. "I don't care what you are,"

"I was waiting for you to run away and come back with a mob armed with pitchforks and fire,"

"Don't give me any ideas," He laughed freely.

He doesn't care what I am. He was seeing the brighter side. He didn't run away and I was so relieved.

"I don't know what I am. I'm not exactly human. I don't know what they call us, freaks, androids, monsters."

"How about Supers?"

"Yeah, something like that." I agreed,

"So is kryptonite your weakness?" He asked,

"No, I don't have one, well not that I know of. You're one of my weaknesses," I laughed. "I was born this way but my father wasn't, my mum was turned into one… a super. See…um… my dad used to work for a science center, well…actually... the same one for the past fifty years. There's like a chamber underneath the St Louis science centre where they actually do the weird experiments. I guess it's their lab. When my dad began working there, there was a special experiment in particular that they all focused on and my father got to work on it but he soon found out he wasn't going to be working on the experiment, he was the experiment."

" He was their tester, the rat they would experiment on. They injected him with a serum; 'Project Glow' was what they called it. The serum, green and glowing and injected into my father's blood stream through the neck. They kept him there for observation but concluded the experiment as unsuccessful but that wasn't the case so they let my father go back and continue his normal life."

"Normal," I snickered, "My father went home as usual and did his usual work at home. He got frustrated the following evening, pounding his fist on the table after a miscalculation in an experiment equation and smashed his table to bits leaving his fist marks engraved on the table top. His strength was incredible. The next morning he went for his usual jog and he ended up in Canada in a couple of seconds. He was impossibly fast and that's when he found out he was immortal. He thought he was a freak, a monster. He tried to kill himself,"

I watched Rob as he continued to listen intently.

"He tried shooting himself but the bullets didn't go through him, they dropped on the floor, crumpled. He jumped off a cliff and into a pile of sharp, stabbing rocks at the bottom and yet he stood up with no broken bones, no bleeding, and no pain. A couple years passed and he hadn't aged a bit. More years passed, he was supposed to be fifty years old. No grey hair, no health problems it was as if he was a twenty year old man and that's when he met my mother. Her love for him was so strong and when he told her, she wanted to become one and then he made the change after years of consideration."

"How do you become one?" He asked, interrupting me, looking at me.

"You slit your tongue with your fingernail because you can't use a knife, it's not strong enough and then make them drink your blood, then it happens in a couple days. You get the powers. I was born this way. We also can't catch aids or anything like that. We're immortal, indestructible and immune to everything,"

"When my mom found out about his abilities and the change had happened they got married and then waited for a very long time to have kids, not sure how'd they'd turn out. Would they be like them or absolutely normal. They had my brother eighteen years ago and they had me seventeen years ago,"

"You're seventeen?"

"Yeah, don't worry, I'd tell you if I were a hundred years old." I laughed, "You stop aging at twenty that's why my dad and mom look very young, so you're like this forever. Have you ever wondered why my family is so beautiful? That's the reason why, our blood, something in that serum made us beautiful. If an apocalypse happened we'd survive."

"What about your brother and the thing that happened? Can you tell me now?" He asked me,

"I was angry with my brother because he almost killed you, if he hit into you, you would be dead right now, that's why I pushed you out of the way and stopped him. I was the only one who could. A leg broken was better than seeing you dead. I was angry because he was paying attention to a girl and not to his actions. Does that make sense?"

"Oh," Rob began nodding his head.

"Which brings me to something else, why I don't kiss you? Its not because I don't want to it's because I'm afraid. If I were human, I would give you a million but my strength is incredible and I don't know what I'm capable of. If my finger slipped, or I was getting too rough...."

I couldn't continue.

Thinking of that thought, that I could be the killer and take away his life repulsed me. I could never do such a thing, I wouldn't take that chance."

He reached for my hand and leaned in to kiss my forehead.

"I don't care, I want to be like you," He told me. His face was serious.

"Can't you be happy with your normal life? That's what I dream of. Being normal."

"I want to spend my life with you. I don't want to grow old. I want to stay just as young…with you… for eternity," He replied.

"There's so much you have to learn. You have to be careful of everything you do. It only takes one wrong move. And that's it,"

"I'll learn," He said, quick with his response.

"I'll talk it over with my parents, and then we'll see." I informed him. "I've told you everything. This is what I am."