(This is the first humor fic I ever wrote. So don't hate, appreciate! Idea for this chapter came about one night when I was eating the brownies my mother makes from time to time which are really really good.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN LEGEND OF DRAGOON.)

Chapter 1: The Day that Rose Discovered Brownies

One day Rose was bored so she decided to go to Dart and Shana's house. She was really, really bored and knew that torturing the happy couple in some way, shape or form would greatly amuse her. After she bothered them for a while, she planed to go torture Meru. One of Rose's most frequent thoughts was, 'Wow, I really hate that happy, hyper Wingly!' Her other frequent thought was, 'Lloyd is SO hot!'

When Rose finally arrived at Dart and Shana's house, she just walked inside, not even bothering to knock on the door. She should have known better, seeing as the last time she had done that, she had found Dart and Shana doing it on their kitchen table. However, Rose figured that after that incident they would know better than to ever do it there again. Anyway, after wandering through the living room and the dining room, Rose came to the kitchen. Shana was taking a baking pan out of the oven and Rose could smell chocolate.

"Do you want brownies?" asked Shana, being the friendly, but idiotic, person that she is.

"Brownies?" asked Rose. "No thank you. I don't eat little first grade Girl Scouts."

"Don't be silly!" said Shana, as she cut the brownies into their familiar squares. "They're not little girls; they're chocolate!"

"CHOCOLATE!" yelled Rose, as Shana put the brownies in a pile on a plate. "GIMME! NOW!"

"Uh- oh," whispered Shana, who had just remembered the Christmas party.

FLASHBACK

Rose had just eaten all of the Christmas cookies so fast it was as if she had inhaled them. Some of the cookies were frosted; all of them were sugary. She began to run around the room like a maniac, while singing Christmas carols at the top of her lungs. Then she stopped and attacked Lloyd by snogging him. Strangely enough, she didn't remember the incident the next day. However, she did have a sort of hangover from eating all of those sugar cookies. "Most people get hangovers from alcoholic beverages," commented Albert at the time. "However, it seems our friend Rose gets hangovers from sugar highs."

END FLASHBACK

While Shana had been having her little flashback, Rose had proceeded to eat the entire plate of brownies. "UH- OH!" yelled Shana, running for the cover of the kitchen table.

"What? Did something explode outside? Is there going to be an earthquake? A tornado? A tidal wave?" As Rose's questions went on and on and on it became evident to Shana that the sugar had kicked in. She was impressed. It had taken Rose two seconds to become hyper while it took Meru five and Shana herself ten. Just as Shana was thinking this, Dart walked in the door, having returned from wherever he had been.

"Shana, I'm home!" he shouted. As he entered the kitchen, his jaw dropped. His eyes went from Rose, still asking Shana endless questions, to Shana, still hiding under the table, to the empty brownie pan, which lay in the sink. It took a surprisingly short time for his very small brain to work out what was going on. He, too, remembered the Christmas party.

"Can I have the recipe? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Can I? Can I?" Shana, in an act of desperation, threw the recipe card to Rose, who promptly shouted, "Yippee!" and ran out the door.

After she was gone, Dart burst into tears. "She ate all of my brownies!" he cried in extreme despair.

Shana didn't even try to comfort him. Instead she just collapsed in a heap on the sofa.

20 minutes later

Rose arrived back at her house and began to closely examine the recipe.

Ingredients

½ C. butter

2 squares chocolate

1 C. sugar

2 eggs

½ tsp vanilla

¾ C. flour

¼ tsp salt

Directions

Melt butter and chocolate in a large saucepan. Remove from heat and stir in the remaining ingredients.

Pour into a greased pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 25 to 30 min. Cool and cut into squares.

The recipe was written in Shana's nearly illegible handwriting. Plus Rose didn't understand some of the symbols. "Only one C of sugar? And what does C mean anyway? Carton? Cab? Caboose?" Rose went over the largest cabinet in her kitchen and opened it. It contained 1,234 cartons of sugar. She dumped 2...hundred of them into a bowl, along with a scoop of vanilla ice cream, a big spoonful of salt, a carton of flour, and two whole eggs. Then she put 2 chocolate bars into a pan with a 2 sticks of butter, seeing as that was half of the carton that the butter sticks had come in. She melted the chocolate/ butter mixture with a blast of Dragoon power and then added all of the other stuff. Then she blasted all that with her Dragoon power. It caught on fire. Now she had a nice, round, thing of something that resembled a brownie. As she cut them into pieces, she thought, 'Wow! They must taste really good! I should publish a cookbook!'

Lloyd chose that moment to walk in, wondering if Rose would like to practice sword fighting with him. He found her in the kitchen, covered from head to toe with flour and extinguishing a plate of very lumpy brownies. "Hi, Rose!" said Lloyd cheerfully. Rose turned around, holding the plate of brownies gone horribly, horribly wrong out to him.

"Do you want some brownies, Lloyd?" she asked him. Lloyd noted that there were still little streams of smoke coming out of the "brownies".

He eyed them very cautiously. 'Did she concoct these brownies specifically to poison people and is using me as a test case or did she just have no clue what she was doing when she made them?' "Uh...um. I uh...um...gotta go to the dentist! Yeah, that's it, the dentist! I'm going to the dentist so I can't have any sugar. Gotta go! Bye!" Lloyd ran away from Rose and her evil brownies as fast as his legs would carry him. He ran through several walls on the way, but he didn't think that Rose would care, given her current condition.

It was then that Rose's hyperness wore off. She looked around the kitchen. There was flour everywhere, including on her. She looked down at her brownies and saw how fucked up they looked. "Maybe they still taste good?" Rose asked herself doubtfully. She picked one up off the plate and bit into it. "EWW!" she screamed, dropping the brownie on the floor. "I just offered these to my beloved Lloyd and called them brownies! These are like toxic waste!" Rose looked out the kitchen window, to see Meru passing by. "Then again," said Rose, heading for the door, "maybe Meru would like some brownies!" She raced out the door and after the Wingly.

(Just in case you guys didn't know, I love reviews. Even flames!)