A/N: Hey guys! Or girls most likely. Now, before you pellet me with rotten vegetables, I have not forgotten Time Between!! My friend is borrowing my copy of RotG, and I'm having trouble writing the next chap without it. As soon as I get it back I will update. Until then I thought I'd give you this little appetizer. It's a stand alone, albeit a long one. The words won't be exactly alike to TP, because again, I don't have the book.
Disclaimer: All the lines and characters you recognize as TP are TP. All of Numair's thoughts are mine! All mine! Muahahaha!
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Surrender
Instantly Numair reacted. He threw a shield of his black and white magic around him. The stone continued its relentless grip. Brilliant. Numair though mockingly, I wonder if it has no feeling. The things hard grasp on him was beginning to break through the magic. Numair grinned wickedly as it flinched from the contact. So it does feel. Nonetheless the thing continued attempts to get at him. Each time it recoiled only to try again. He was just beginning to wonder when it would conclude that he was the source of its pain, when the stone creature released him.
Numair hit the road in an undignified heap. Scrambling to his feet he scanned the area for Daine. Where could she have gone? Then he saw it. A piece of torn cloth was attached to a tree, a tree that grew from the side of the cliff.
A cold feeling of dread crept through his body. He leaned over the cliff, looking at the river bellow. A bow was caught in the tangled tree branches. Maybe she missed the trees and landed in the river? What are the chances of that? Maybe she shape shifted into a bird? He had to cling to these hopes, as feeble as they were. He had to believe that she could be alive.
Even if she is alive, how am I to find her? Just as panic was creeping in, Numair rolled up his sleeve to find a gold locket. Clasping it in his hand he whispered a spell in Old Thak. Black and White Fire grew around him as he spoke. Like a heavy wind the fire blew this clothes and hair. The spell was powerful and draining but he had no choice. Visions flashed before his closed eyes. He saw a path through the cliffs trees. He saw a view from beneath the river's churning waters, and he saw the river's banks. His eyes opened to find himself standing on the riverbank, exactly where he saw it. He was not alone.
Three Spidrens were lurking around a web. Numair had a good feeling as to the contents of that web. His insides churned. Deep hatred laced through his veins. He called power from the stone on his staff; it was all the magic he had left. Directing that power at the nearest Spidren, the creature exploded. It littered the area and its comrades with its filth. That only began to satisfy the unquenchable anger that he felt. He called more magic. The result was him nearly collapsing. I'm drained! He thought with mild panic. But angry adrenaline gave him strength enough. The staff, now useless for magical purposes, became his weapon.
A female Spridren reared at him. He knew what came next, and that he was helpless to stop it. Quickly a darking, which one he couldn't tell, covered her spinneret. Numair reacted just in time to fend off her companion with his staff. He continued attacking the creature, letting all of his rage poor into his motion. For once he wished he had weapons training like Alanna, so he could do the thing serious harm. From the corner of his eye he was aware of the darking suffocating the female. No less than she deserves. He thought caustically. Finally He delivered a deadly strike to his Spidren opponent's head.
Instantly the anger fueled energy abandoned him. He was left to sink in a sea of despair. He turned from the motionless web. There was no getting around it, he was too late. He had heard of pain being described as having your heart ripped out. He would have welcomed that. It would be better now to die from this emotion, than to have to live with the ache forever. "I'm sorry Daine." He whispered from a dry throat. "I failed you."
Images of her flooded his mind. He leaned against the staff, fighting back the tears that he new would pour. You missed your chance. A nasty part of his mind reminded him. She's gone and now you can't get her back. Daine..."Numair". Something in his mind was torturing him with the memory of her voice.
Then he heard it again. It was like the first breath after nearly drowning. "Numair, please are you alright." That wasn't his mind. His mind could not possibly sound so clear or mimic that beloved voice. He turned around slowly. Fear of disappointment held back haste.
There she stood, scratched and bruised yes, but alive. "You- you're- alive. I thought..."
"I hurt too much to be dead." She said. She gave him a weak smile.
That smile, the one that had captivated him so many times, swept into his mind. In an instant he was with her, his staff now a discarded object in the dirt, all he wanted was her. Drawing her tight in his arms, he felt her hands behind his neck. Holding her washed away his pain like an ocean wave. Silently he swore that he would never let her out of his sight or arms again.
He felt her move against him, and he moved so that they could look at each other. Her eyes, the same blue-grey eyes that had been with him through so much now swept all reason from his body. I want her to know that. I want her to know how she makes me feel. Somehow during those thoughts his lips pressed themselves against hers. The feeling lit a fire in his mind. He held her close, wanting to be closer to her than physically possible, to be a part of her and know that she was alive and his.
As if reading his thoughts he felt her kiss him back. He was overwhelmed by the love that no woman had ever made him feel.
She falls from a cliff, is attacked by Spridrens, and now you won't let her breathe. His thoughts scolded. He knew that that moment could not be forever, despite desperate hopes. Releasing her from his arms and mouth he heard her whisper "No."
Again his rational side flew as he heeded her wish, kissing her until he felt her collapse in his arms. He liked the feeling of supporting her. He picked her up, cradling her gently in his arms. All of the pain of loss was now gone, and replaced by an unquenchable need for her. He sat beneath a tree and held her to him. He could feel her heart beet and listen to her still shallow breath. "Goddess Bless, Magelet." He murmured into her brunet curls. "I thought I'd lost you."
As he held her with his lips in her hair the past moments flew through his head. We have to talk about this. She must think I'm mad. She has to be confused. "We need to find a place to set up camp. It will be to hot to travel soon and there is the path to relocate. If I remember correctly the path runs parallel to the river. Sweet?" He noticed the limpness of her body and the deepness of her breath. He sighed. "Lets find some shelter." He told the watching darkings.
Locating a sheltering group of rocks, Numair laid Daine down where she could rest. She stirred without his arms around her, but he kissed her forehead gently. Setting up camp seemed strange without her to help. All of the jobs that she normally took he had to do. It wasn't that he minded, it was just seemed odd. He thought of the moments before and wondered how many camps they had left to set up together. What if she's afraid to be alone with me now? Who will protect her on missions for the king? He knew Daine could take care of herself, but he would never be at ease without being by her side.
His thoughts were interrupted by the need to start cooking their evening meal. He carefully rated his magic to start a controlled fire. Placeing a pot over the fire, he added water along with the contents of a soup ball. The darking, Jelly, took over stirring for him. Numair realized that his hands were shaking. Perhaps I too should rest a while. "Wake me when it's done." He instructed the darking, and he thought he saw it nod.
No matter what he could not keep his thoughts from the sleeping girl beside him. What was I thinking? He wondered. I knew that this had to be a secret, I swore she wouldn't find out, that I would let her live her life. What now? He looked over at Daine. He thought about her future and how desperately he wanted to be in it, and how much he didn't want to hurt her. None of this would have happened if she had stayed with her parents like I wanted. He had wanted her to stay. Her happiness meant everything to him, and here she was happy. He knew more than anything that they needed to talk about this. Talk was inevitable.
That resolution reached him at the same time as sleep, though it was an uneasy sleep. He awoke to the squeaking of Jelly. "Food done."
"Very Good." He told the dark blot. The darking's voice had also awoken Daine. Just looking at her made his cheeks feel warm. Control yourself! He scolded. How can I talk rationally about this if all I can think about is kissing her? He ladled out three bowels of the soup, trying to keep these thoughts from showing on his face as he handed one to her. Her eyes were curious and questioning.
"How in the name of Shakith did you find me?"
He dreaded having to answer that. He had deeply hoped that she would not bring it up.
"It was just a simple bit of magic." She always sees through my lies.
"Mouse manure, Do you think I've lived all this time among mages without knowing what it takes to find someone and go to them."
That is my fault, for teaching her that. "I had a focus." He confessed reluctantly. There was no chance that she would let this drop. He only hoped that she would accept that answer and move on. But she didn't.
"A focus, Something of mine that's in your possession?" It is also my fault for teaching her what a focus is.
"Yes, and I'm glad I had it."
"Yes but-may I see it?"
He saw puzzlement in her eyes and a need for clarification. His need to make her happy overcame his secretive desire. Reluctantly he showed her the locket, unclipping it to break the invisibility spell.
He watched her observe it. He knew the token well, for he often took it out with no magical purpose at all, simply for times when he missed his Magelet and wanted to see her face. He felt he should speak. The silence was getting awkward and painful.
"I thought you would laugh if I asked you to sit for a portrait. Volney Rain did the painting; I collected the hair when you were delirious from unicorn fever six month ago."
She nodded still not speaking. For once he could not even fathom her thoughts.
"What about you? What happened with those rocks."
"I used my Gift as a shield. It took them a while to realize that I was the source of their pain. When they did they released me. Then I returned and realized that you had gone over the cliff-"The pain he had felt resurfaced all to easily.
"You can thank a number of trees and a deep part of the river that I am still relatively alive." Daine crept over to him. He wished she wouldn't it was impossible to ignore what had happened with her so close to him. She edged against him. He knew what she wanted, he just wasn't certain he should give it to her. Finally he acquiesced, lifting his arm so that she could rest against him. It was hard to deny that he liked having her there.
"You're trembling." She said from beneath his chin.
"I'm only tired." He knew she would see through the lie as he told it. "I used my whole Gift to reach you." He gave her the truth before she had to ask.
"You shouldn't have done that." She told him quietly. Yes I should. His mind argued with her. "You need your gift. We haven't even reached the Sea of Sand."
He had to smile at the way she was being so logical. That had always been his role. "Magic returns, even after a draining. If I had lost you and kept my power I would hate myself. Magic returns, even after a draining. I had no idea if you would." He tried not to imagine what that would have been like.
"It would take more than falling off a cliff to keep me from you." He wanted desperately to believe that.
He pressed his mouth softly to hers, remembering her many injuries he did his best to be gentle. "I hoped you felt that way." He was overwhelmed by the feelings that looking into her eyes brought on. He kissed her eyelids, breaking the spell that they were weaving around him. He kissed her nose, just savoring the feel of her, before moving to her lips. He liked how she surrendered to him. She didn't try to control it; she just let him kiss her. After a while he felt her start to tremble, bringing a warm feeling throughout him, making him want to hold her closer. He felt her wince slightly and he remembered her wounds. "I should take care of those cuts." He informed her, dreading the idea of having to let her go, when she felt so warm in his arms.
He could feel her reluctance. Part of him wanted her to refuse. But she sat up. He went to get the ointment. He saw her reach down to pull up the hem of her shirt. Realizing what she was going to do, he felt alarmingly self-conscience. "Daine!"
"What?"
"You-We aren't-You should be clothed!" Is she trying to test me?
"I've a breast band on you dolt. This shirt is in shreds, like the rest of me." She replied. How can she be so calm about this?
"It just doesn't seem right. I feel like I'm taking advantage of your innocence. Its easy for a man of my years and reputation-" To say the least of my feelings for you.
"'Taking Advantage of'? And what 'reputation'?"
"You know as well as anyone that I've been involved with women of the court."
"What has that to do with the price of peas in Persopolis?"
"It's easy for an experienced man to fool a young woman into thinking herself in love with him. It's the basest kind of trickery even if the man does not intend it." And I really don't intend it.
He got out the salve and began rubbing it onto her sores. He tried to be as soft as possible on her delicate broken skin.
"Do you love me or not?" His mind froze with the question. A strong part of him wanted to turn her around. To grab her into his arms and tell her that he loved her with all of his heart, and that she meant more to him than anything. You can't tell her that. You can't trap he like that.
"That is not the topic under discussion right now." He regretted the words. How do I explain my behavior then?
"We aren't talking about love? What are we talking about then? Canoodling?"
There it was, the conclusion he feared she would draw. It hurt him for Daine to think that he thought of her like that. It hurt that she didn't know how special she was to him.
"Daine, is that what you think I want? Sex?" He could hear the indignation in his own voice.
"It isn't?" He saw confusion in her eyes. Keeping his secret was suddenly becoming so difficult. He moved away from her. He felt her move over to him. She picked up his hand. Curiosity tinged his mind. She reached over and clasped the wrist where the focus he had shown her hung.
"You're in love with me? Loves fair wondrous, where's the harm?" She had said it. She had said the words that he had kept from her that he had protected her from. There was something in the way she said it. Was it hope? Understanding? She deserves an explanation.
"Daine, you are so young. I was 'canoodling' as you so charmingly put it, when you were four! I was afraid that if I told you, you might think yourself in love with me. You might marr-" He had almost said it. Then you would really be putting ideas in her head. He could tell from her expression that that idea had not occurred to her. Now she was looking at him as if he were mad. Which I probably am.
"Marry? Marry you?" her voice squeaked. Why did I let that slip?
"One day you would turn to me and see an old man. You'd want a young one." He didn't realize how painful vocalizing his concern would be. He had to get away from her. I need some space to think, and so does she. He moved to outside of their shelter. His own thoughts absorbed him.
He thought about the lovers in his past. No moment of pleasure with them had ever made him feel the way he felt, just looking into Daine's eyes. Loving her was like breathing. It was natural and essential. He knew that she had loved him as a friend and a teacher, and he clung to that love like a vital nutrient. What if I've lost that, lost my magelet? I can't cage her. She's like the birds she shifts into. She deserves her chance to fly and I'd only weigh her down.
At that moment Daine came over to him. Resolution framed her face. She sat beside him, her eyes intent on his dark ones. No matter what, he couldn't manage to break away. "Can't we just go on as we have? This is a fair wait to solve when things are so mad."
He looked at her with so much affection for his Magelet. "That is certainly true."
"I know I love you. Perhaps I always have-"
"That's what I'm afraid of." He confessed. He watched her scowl at him. He was raging war against the part of him that didn't want to question her.
"Once we are home and the war is done, we can talk."
He looked at her, a newfound desire for her filled him. He gently brushed her lips with his own, staring deep into her eyes. "Indeed we will, Magelet."
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A/N: ok, so that was it and I know its not all of falling, but hey, it's the good part right? Any constructive criticism on my writing will be appreciated. I'm new to this still, so advice is good. If you are just going to tell me I suck....well, then don't review. If you plan on telling me why then go right on ahead, but if its just because of something like you hate DN and think that he is too old for her, well you shouldn't have read this then!
Again, I didn't have the book so don't point out my misprints please. : )
Just a little excerpt from Roherwen's past, when I first read this chapter I pointed at the book and yelled "Hey! I saw him first!" It quite comical. Perhaps you had to be there.