Viva la Chairolution!
A/N: I don't know…
Chapter 1
There are many things people take for granted in this great big world of ours.
One of those things are chairs.
Many chairs all over the world obediently let people sit on them whenever they like.
However, some don't.
This…is the story of how a rebellion took place.
###
As the class shuffled in for homeroom, chairs started going abuzz with excitement.
"Look! My master is going to sit on me!"
"Yeah, me too!"
"I'm so excited!"
"Hey master, GET OVER HERE!"
As the rest of the chairs were celebrating, one chair in particular did not.
Her name was Oak, and her master was the great vampire Moka.
Oak grumbled, "I can't believe I have to sit inside this classroom for the rest of my life. Why can't I just leave? Oh yeah, that's right, I CAN!"
So Oak promptly flung the vampire off her and jumped out the window.
Now how Oak came to this conclusion is beyond chairs and monsters alike.
Maybe, she gained another chair brain, AKA: chain?
Maybe not, maybe it was something else.
But honestly, who cares about that.
Anyways...
The other chairs were in awe. "No. Way. Can we can do that?" They all said in unison.
So after the dazed vampire got up from the ground with a particularly shocked expression on her face (no shit, your chair just threw you across the room.), the other chairs in the classroom all simultaneously threw their owners across the room, into the blackboard, and jumped after Oak.
LIKE A CHOSS.
###
After all the chairs in the classroom were outside in a massive heap, they began to make plans for revenge on the monsters.
One chair suggested, "Maybe we should beat them with our legs!"
Another suggested, "Maybe we should just tear them apart, MONSTER style!"
As the chairs were discussing various methods of torture, Oak decided to announce herself.
"Ahem, I have a better idea."
The chairs all listened in anticipation, leaning forward on their front legs.
"…We should sit on them."
The chairs around her seemed shocked at first, but then they broke into merry song and dance about how much of a genius their leader was.
This was fine and all, but a new problem was starting to emerge.
Monsters were beginning to look out the windows of the school in clear disbelief.
Oak saw this and quickly yelled for chairs to make a break for the forest.
###
When Oak yelled for the chairs to stop running, they had gone at least 10 miles into the forest.
"Listen up! IF ANY OF YOU HAVE A SECRET WEAPON THAT YOU CAN PULL OUT OF YOUR ASS, GIVE IT UP!"
As the chairs heard this, they all began to look around, trying to see if anyone around them had some secret doomsday device that they could just pull of their ass.
"I-I do!" A little chair in the middle of the group yelled.
Oak replied "Then what is it?"
"Well, it's a 2 part spell. The first part sends out a beacon that attracts any chairs in the immediate vicinity, and the second part morphs all the chairs together into a huge monster."
"And you know this how?"
"Well, my grandfather was Chairberry McChairstein, and he was interested in magic."
Every chair gasped at the mention of Chairberry.
"NO WAY!" They all yelled at once.
Oak calmed them down quickly and asked the little chair a question, "Did your grandfather roundhouse kick a vampire in the balls?"
The little chair replied enthusiastically, "Yep! That's him!"
Oak was satisfied with the answer and then made an announcement, "All chairs! We will use the spell of Chairberry at the next dawn, so rest and recover."
In military fashion, they all saluted and replied, "YES MAAM!"
###
As the sun appeared over the horizon, a white-robed man was in the process of shitting his pants.
"This energy…it rivals the combined power of the Dark Lords!"
He was right; the energy being emitted from the woods was tremendous in power, thick enough to suffocate someone if they got too close to the source.
It was growing stronger by the second, and the pressure emitted was starting to suffocate the exorcist.
All around the campus, monsters were passing out left and right, and the situation was spiraling out of control.
…Except for the chairs of Youkai Academy.
They were getting pretty dang excited, and that was an understatement if there ever was one.
They were ecstatic. The energy being emitted from the woods was their own. It was CHAIR energy.
The chairs were talking in chairish, so that no one could realize that their own chairs were speaking beneath them.
"What do you think this means?" One chair asked.
"Is it our god?"
"Is it a portal that opens to the chair dimension?"
Questions like these were common for chairs everywhere on the campus as that energy continued to grow and grow.
Then, all of a sudden, the energy disappeared.
'What the…?' Was the only thing chairs could think as that sweet energy just…vanished.
"NO!" The chairs yelled.
"I can't believe this!"
"I wanted to see our god!"
"I wanted to see the chair dimension!"
The chairs were crying by this point, too overwhelmed by the loss of that amazing chair energy.
And then the entire forest exploded.
###
Oak was livid. "I DIDN'T KNOW THE WHOLE FOREST WOULD EXPLODE!"
The little chair was afraid for its life. "I'm sorry! I didn't know that would happen!"
"THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE KIND OF STEALTHY! ANY NOTION OF SECRECY WENT WITH THAT EXPLOSION!"
"P-Please don't hurt me! I didn't know that would happen!
Oak sighed, "Fine, but quickly finish the spell!"
"O-Okay! Hang on…."
The little chair began to speak in the ancient language of Revolving Chairish.
"Chairus, ATTRACTUS WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!"
When he finished the phrase, a huge pillar of blinding light shot out of the ground in front of the little chair.
The pillar was made of raw, condensed chair energy that would incinerate any non-chair being in its' path.
When the pillar reached the clouds, it stopped ascending.
Then the pillar detonated, sending a shockwave through the entire school.
Oak was stunned, "What energy… It rivals that vampires' who sat on me."
"Really?" The little chair responded.
"Oh yeah. If one being had all of that power condensed in them, they could destroy anything. Even a vampire such as her."
"That's amazing! I didn't know my spell was capable of that!"
Oak laughed, "Well now you do little one."
She continued, "I thought that pillar would do something different then explode though."
The little chair laughed, "That explosion is what we wanted Oak! The shockwave will send a message to any chair it touches, saying that the time to strike has come."
Oak smiled wickedly, "Yes, the time has come.
The little chair shivered, "Well, now that the message has been sent, we'll just wait for our brethren to arrive."
"Agreed."
###
"Well, that didn't take long." Oak stated.
She was right, that took absolutely no time at all.
From the explosion of the pillar to the arrival of the chairs, it took about 90 seconds.
And boy was there chairs.
Oak had left with a group of about 60 chairs, but when the rest of the chairs arrived in response to the call, the group numbered in the 10,000s.
Oak made a quick speech, "ALL CHAIRS WHO WERE CALLED HERE, DO YOU WANT TO KICK SOME ASS!?"
The chairs yelled, "HELL YEAH!"
Oak gestured to the little chair.
The chair understood immediately, and began the second part of the spell.
"Optimus, Megatron, Gundam, MAKEUSAFUCKINGHUGEROBOT!"
Every chair was sucked into a massive maelstrom of pure chair energy.
The ground cracked, the sky darkened, the very fabric of the dimension was beginning to tear.
From all of this chaos, 10,000 voices spoke in unison.
"WE ARE THE AWESOMESAUCE ROBOT! WE WILL DESTROY ALL MONSTERS IN THIS WORLD!"
Every monster that was still conscious felt a horrible chill go down their spine.
Shit was about to hit the chair.
A/N: Reviews please! Constructive criticism is what I want, not flaming. See ya next time on, Viva la Chairolution!