Title: Positive

Summary: What if Olivia had tested positive instead of negative for AIDs? One-Shot from Lowdown.

Pairings: E/O Friendship

Rating: T

Elliot looked over at his partner. Ever since that case with Jeffery York, she'd been quiet and distant. Elliot persuaded Olivia to get tested for AIDs because Jeff York had it. That'd been 3 months ago and he still hadn't known if she'd gotten tested or not. Elliot figured that she wouldn't listen to him and brush off the whole process, but then again, he never knew what she did.

But if she did take his advice and get tested, he didn't think she would tell him anyway. The words 'private life' meant a lot to Olivia and as her best friend, he respected that. But there comes a time in every true friendship when those words don't fade away when something's truly wrong - now was that time.

As he glanced her way across the couch in her apartment, she looked out of it. She looked detached from reality and in deep thought. He decided to stop by and check on her since she stormed out of the building earlier that day - clearly not in the mood for the bullshit that was going on around there. Sure, it wasn't her first time where she'd had enough for the day and took an abrupt break, but something was different about her this time. She looked like she had had enough - for good.

"Olivia, I came to check on you. You seemed pretty pissed earlier."

Olivia snapped out of her thoughts and looked at him, confused. "What?"

"I said you seemed pretty pissed earlier and I wanted to check up on you."

"Oh," she simply said before drifting back into thought.

"So, are you all right?"

She shot him another look. "Am I what?"

He furrowed his eyebrow a bit. "What the hell has been up with you lately. Sine that York case a few months ago you've been AWOL from existence."

"I...I have a lot on my mind, El."

"I can tell but you can talk to me. That's what I'm here for."

"It's a lot to take in, Elliot," Olivia said softly. "I haven't even processed it yet, I know you won't."

He rose from his spot on the chair and sat beside her. "Try me. I'm just looking out for you."

"I can't," she admitted in a near cry.

"Please tell me what's wrong, Liv."

She wiped the forming tears from her eyes and sighed. "You remember when you told me I should get tested?"

He simply nodded.

"Well, I uh, I got tested. Melinda did it for me."

"What did the results say?"

Before she could even form words, she broke down into uncontrollable sobs. "It was positive, El. I'm HIV positive!" she cried.

Elliot was frozen. It was like an explosion went off in his head. Olivia has HIV and he can't do anything about it. He didn't expect the test to come back positive - even if she'd got tested.

"I thought you said you guys used protection?"

"We did!" she nearly yelled. "But Melinda said condoms aren't 100% effective. What am I going to do? I don't even know if I can afford the medication and then what happens, I'll die?"

"Olivia, you're not going to die."

"How do you know?"

In all reality, he didn't know, but he wasn't going to tell her that. Instead, he scooted next to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"It'll be all right."

Olivia shook her head against his chest. "No it won't. How could I have been so stupid?"

"Don't' blame yourself, you didn't know."

"And we'll never know if he did, he's dead," she cried. "What if he knew and didn't tell me?"

"For starters, I would've killed him myself. And second, even though I never met the guy, I don't think he'd do something like that," Elliot assured her.

"You never know people as well as you think," she mumbled. "I'm so scared, Elliot."

"I know."

Olivia suddenly pulled from his grasp. "Why the hell didn't I get tested before?"

"Because," he started in a confused like way. "You didn't know until we caught the case."

"I'm a cop, SVU fro heaven's sake, why didn't I think to get tested, anyway?"

"You're blaming yourself." He looked down at her balled up fist. "And you're angry."

She shook her head. "I'm not angry."

"Yes you are. I can see it in your eyes."

"I said I'm not angry," she repeated.

"You know you can be angry, right? You have a right to be."

She gripped her bottom lip hard with her teeth. "Fine. I'm angry. Is that what you want to hear? That I was stupid enough to sleep with a guy I didn't even know what well. You know what, I deserve this for being so damn stupid."

"Olivia stop," he told her seriously. "Don't talk like that. What do you tell victims. It isn't their fault, right?"

"Yeah Elliot, rape victims. I wasn't raped. I did this willingly. He didn't force me, he didn't hurt me, and he sure as hell didn't rape me."

Elliot sighed. "Liv, talk to Melinda. Talk to her about HIV, the medication - the survival rate - and everything else."

"I've had this for almost 6 years. Why didn't I notice?"

"Symptoms don't appear instantly. It's goes a while without being noticed."

"Oh God, what about the others? Brian Cassidy and Andy were after Jeff. What I infected them and the others. God, they're going to kill me," she sobbed again.

"Take this one step at a time, Liv. Get yourself straightened out."

She was silent for a moment. "Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you look at me, you know, differently?"

"What? Of course not."

She offered him a sad smile. "Thank you."

He returned the smile. "We'll get through this, Olivia. I promise."

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