Caring too much
Chapter 1
It was late, too late. No seriously, Xander was totally going to be late for work and some-how he couldn't care less while caring way too much about it. All he could do was sit, sit on this worthless excuse for a bed in nothing but his snoopy boxes and scooby socks in a semi-state of shock.
Wait no, now he was processing how the hell he was going to explain to the boss why he was so late. He could just imagine the sneer the greasy bastard will have on his face.
Now he's back to that shock. Xander had no idea how he was going to process what he was feeling right now, but more importantly how he was going to hide it from absolutely everyone in his life.
He went back over his memories of the night before, like he'd been doing all night since he had come home. From the start of his downfall, it all started when he, Buffy and Willow had decided to skip patrol and go to the bronze.
"I dunno guys, doya really think this is a good idea" The smaller redheaded girl mumbled as she was squished in between the other two. Eyes darting across the street, like she was sure a certain watcher would just emerge from the shadows and tsk them all for their treachery.
"C'mon Wills! You gotta loosen up!" Buffy laughed, pulling her nervous friend along.
"Yeah! That's right! Scooby gang being all bad and skipping on work!" Xander cheered, pulling her other arm.
"Little bit too excited there Xan, but yeah! We deserve it! We've been on patrol all week just because Giles is all wound up about everything that has happened." Buffy scoffed, seemingly always annoyed at her own destiny. Not that Xander could blame her.
"If it'll make you feel better we can take the long way home and hit up a graveyard or two, just for you Willow my best bud" Xander grinned down at her, gaining a scoff.
"I know what this is, you guys don't think I can have fun! But I'll show you, I'll have way more fun. Psh!" She detached herself from the other two and beat them to the doorway of the Bronze. Xander just laughed and dropped his now free arm around Buffy's shoulders, she smiled up at him as their both rolled their eyes.
The trio entered the club with a simple nod from the bouncer. Who had seen their faces enough in the previous years to now know them in all but name. Xander knew him as Teddy, and he knew the guy before him as Teddy, and the one before that… Okay he had little imagination when it came to the doormen, this one would probably be killed by some demon soon enough anyway.
As they entered the building Xander thought he saw a glimpse of leather and bleach blond in amongst the sweaty bodies coating the dance floor but decided he didn't care enough to deal with that problem until it was forced upon the scooby gang.
Willow found a little round table, just underneath the stair case going up to the higher level overlooking the dance floor. While Buffy went in search of booze. Torn between the two Xander opted to chill with Willow. Buffy was normally good at finding free booze and Xander in all his gross maleness would just get in her way.
"Wow.. It's really packed tonight hey?" Willow looked around in awe, and Xander had to agree. There were just too many people in here tonight, a lot of young kids too. Xander used to think it was so cool they could get in when they were in high school, but now as a 20-year-old it just freaked him out. God he was getting old.
"Probably cause it's a Friday…" He mumbled, sitting back on the creaky stool and leaning on one of the stair posts.
"Ya think buffy will make us dance?" Willow pouted, slumping down on the table. Peering over at the dance floor Xander grimaced slightly in agreement. Looking at that mess took him completely off his dancing mood.
"I don't even think we could dance on that, just get squished." Xander nudged her with his shoulder, grinning as it elicited a little giggle from the girl.
"Still… it's kinda nice to be here again. It feels like its been forever, since ya know.." Willow sighed, looking down as she fiddled with a piece of lint. Xander couldn't help but smile softly at his friend, he understood how she felt.
"You mean since we defeated crazy robot dude, took down an entire evil army living under your school and somehow now have Blondie Bear the good vampire running around unstaked? Or was it that finding of a new girlfriend of yours and my sad recently single ass" Xander batted his eyes at Willow, as she tried to stay stone faced in his entire explanation of their fucked-up year.
"Bloody hell whelp, now that's an insult too far." Of-course just as Xander would have to mention the menace, the damned bleach blond punk would happen to emerge from right behind him. Xander jumped slightly as Spike slid across to take a seat in between Willow and himself.
"Mention the slime ball and he shall appear!" Xander sneered, trying to hide his shock.
"Was it the affectionate nickname or the unstaked part that really got to you Spike?" Willow chuckled, apparently having no problem that the arsehole had come and ruined their great chat.
"Well it would really have to be the whole 'good vampire' wouln't it" Spike explained, smiling all too sweetly at her. Xander frowned, not sure why this annoyed him so much. How dare that vampire act so friendly to this lovely, recently come out as a lesbian best friend of his. Yes, that was the problem exactly!
"Get out of my seat Spike, what are you doing here anyway?" Yes! Thank the lords! Slayer to the rescue!
"No need to get all wound up slayer, can't a vampire enjoy whatever crap they play here" Spike grinned as he was pulled off the seat by the small blonde and pushed way too close to Xander for comfort.
"Isn't Willy's more your thing Spike?" Xander questioned, going to push Spike away but decided he really didn't want to touch the guy.
"You trying to insinuate something whelp?" Spike smirked, raising a brow.
Xander could feel heat rising from his neck, a frown painted his face.
"Well that's just a new low..." He mumbled, rolling his eyes and slumping back further into his seat like a teenager that just got exposed trying to sneak out.
"Didn't know you were such a homophobe whelp!" Spike laughed as he disappeared back into the crowd. Probably looking for something to eat, if he could with that chip jammed in brain.
"Don't listen to his Xan, he just wants to start crap!" Buffy scoffed, handing both Xander and Willow some bottle of brand beer Xander didn't know. Not that he knew much about beer in general, just that it tasted like shit and he was supposed to pretend it was great or so help his masculinity.
A few bad beers later and Xander felt somewhat tipsy, Willow being a lightweight had only finished half and then given the rest to him. But she was still a bit off as she let Buffy cart her onto the dance floor. Xander had been lucky to escape that fate, saying that he had to watch the drinks.
But now the drinks were finished, and he was desperate to take a leak. As well as avoid his two friends who were dancing up a storm and had now gotten people to start a dance circle. As much fun as that seemed, Xander could think of a multitude of things he'd rather do. Like sleep with a clown or double date with Angel and Cordie.
Finding the bathroom was more of a task then he would have first thought. It wasn't the booze, Xander was proud to call himself a heavy weight. The biggest problem was the amount of people he had to push past to get behind the bar and down the corridor to where the bathrooms lay.
Just as he was about to pull open the bathroom door he heard a girlish scream from outside, coming from the other door which lead to the alleyway outside the bronze. Xander tsked, there wasn't enough time for him to get Buffy. Goddamn it he would have to play the unfortunate hero yet again. The less bruising or dying the better.
He breathed in, trying to find his courage. Then flung the door open and jumped out to reveal the scene in front of him. First the girlish screams were not from a victim but from the pile of dust that now covered the concrete floor. A girl holding onto her neck was already halfway out the alley, running to find help he could guess. And who else but Spike was leaning up on the fence opposite the door, lighting a cigarette.
"Well well well, look at the white knight to the rescue. Bit too late whelp better luck next time.." Spike chuckled as he sucked in a lung full of foul smog.
"Seriously Spike? Nothing else better to do then- then…" Xander stuttered trying to find a reason to be mad but really he was drawing a blank.
"Then save some pretty brunette from death?" Spike rose a brow and scoffed.
"I dunno I'm sure you've done something bad!" Now Xander really was just drawing straws, and he could see that Spike was enjoying it way too much. The bastard.
"Ahh I've done some baad have I?" Spike teased, strolling closer to Xander and closing in the three-metre gap between them. Xander backed up but found that the door had silently closed behind him and he had been trapped between two very hard places. He tried not to react, but he knew the vampire was taking as much enjoyment as he could from Xander's obvious awkwardness. Especially now that he couldn't physically hurt him.
"Ya know, we don't talk much boy. Especially since I'm a 'good vampire' now and all" Spike was now too close, close enough that Xander wouldn't be able to stretch his arm out without hitting the other mans chest.
"I'm pretty sure the last time we properly talked I had like a thousand diseases and you were tied to a chair!" Xander had gone into complete meltdown, which meant rambling Xander was out to play.
"Oh yeah.." Spike snorted. "There were arrows and a really pissed off bear"
Xander tried to hold in giggles, he refused to give Spike the satisfaction. Especially when he was so goddamn close.
"Well then, I'll be off ey? Wouldn't want to keep you from the other goodies" Spike scoffed, blowing smoke away from Xander to his surprise. Then as quickly as he had appeared tonight he disappeared down the alleyway.
Now he was here, after Willow and Buffy helped him home and get in bed he found that he couldn't sleep. He kept replying the experience in his head. He had been so careful to have limited interactions with the man and he couldn't figure out why until tonight.
Xander clutched the worn-out pillow in his hands. Shuddering slightly at his epiphany. God damn, he couldn't help but let it hit him. As much as he'd been ignoring it forever and just pretended to really REALLY dislike the guy.
Maybe Xander was a little too into Spike..
A/N:
Let me know what you guys think, this is a side project for me while I procrastinate schoolwork. So, I'm happy to just do it when I have the time, but if it gains interest I'll try to update regularly.
Also, I don't have an editor or 2nd person to check these, so there are probably a few mistakes that I've missed. I apologise in advance, but also this is just some shitty slash fiction I've had haunting my gay ass so who really cares. (Its me, I really care).