Post Bring 'Em Back Alive fic. Because Sam and Cass didn't have to lose Gabriel if they bothered giving him choices and didn't try to push everything on him right away. He said it himself, he's having trouble processing new information. He needs to process his trauma first. Also, I want to punch Dean for that line about Gabriel not getting to say no.


Keeping In Touch

It wasn't until Dean had left in one hell of a temper that Sam was able to relax again. After his body had calmed from the state of nervousness it went in when Dean began to start flinging things around, was when he truly noted Dean's and Gabriel's words. It was like a bucket of cold water had been dumped over him.

He doesn't get to say no. Dean's words kept echoing in his head as Sam went to the library, sat down heavily in his favourite seat and let his head fall to the table. He closed his eyes and sighed long and pained. He could feel Cass follow him and take the seat by his side.

"Do you think we will find him again?" Cass asked and Sam shook his head.

"I don't think we'll find him. If he wants, he will come back to us instead. We shouldn't have pushed, Cass. He was a flight risk and we scared him off."

Cass was silent for a few minutes, until he asked his next question. "A flight risk?"

Sam let out a laugh at that and lifted his head, running a hand through his hair to get it out of his eyes. "Yeah. He warned us, Cass. He wasn't able to take in the information we were giving him. It was too much too soon. And we didn't listen. And then I went and said that he was on the team and he took off."

Castiel squinted at him and his brows furrowed together in a very familiar gesture of confusion. "I...I don't understand how that was a bad thing."

Sam nodded. "I was in Hell for over 200 years, Cass. He was there for longer. It isn't something you just get over. He hadn't processed that he was truly even free yet and we went and dumped a huge load of information on him. He couldn't take in what we were saying. The only things that registered were the last things we said. All he got out of that was we need him to help fight Michael and that we were putting him on our team without even giving him a choice."

Castiel nodded, "Is that why he responded to you? Why he began talking? You talked to him of your own time locked up in Hell being tortured?"

Sam shook his head. "Not that far. I think he understood that I had been there and can relate and he can talk to me if he wants, but...I didn't mean to take away his choice."

Cass tilted his head. "He did choose to leave."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, he did, but that wasn't what I took away from him. I told him he was on Team Free Will without even asking if he wanted to be part of the team. Cass, after getting free after being tortured for that long...it messes with your head. He's only just gotten his ability to make his own choices back. He needs to make his own choices. And we pushed him so far that his only good choice was to leave."

Castiel hummed at him, the information finally clicking in that angel brain of his in a way that made sense. "We did order him to stay. And that was wrong."

Sam nodded. "yeah, it was." He stretched his hands in the air, suddenly tired form the days' events. "Well, I am going to go to bed. I'll see you tomorrow. Night Cass."

"Good night Sam."

Sam got up from his seat, made his way to his room and locked the door behind him. Having a Prince of Hell roaming free in the bunker, even one that was now dead, had spooked him. Dean's anger didn't make him feel any better either.

He hoped his brother didn't say something as stupid as what he had said before leaving the war room to Gabriel's face. He didn't want the archangel pissed off at them and right now he wasn't so much pissed off as traumatised out of his head and needed time to settle down and process.

Sam went over to his bed, rolled onto his side and hugged a pillow close and did something he hadn't done in over two years. He prayed.

This time though, he sent his prayers to Gabriel instead of an absentee God.

"Gabriel, I hope you are hearing prayers right now, because I need you to hear this. I'm sorry. We shouldn't have pushed. Cass and I will give you as much time as you need to process everything that's happened. Just keep in touch with us. Oh, be warned of Dean though. He is really angry you left and doesn't seem to understand. I'm sorry. Ignore his prayers if he sends any. None of what he says is true. You have every right to make sure you're feeling better before you decide whether you want to help us. We can continue on looking for Lucifer and see if he will help. Amen."

Maybe the whole Lucifer thing was a bit much, but Gabriel had to know he wasn't any longer in his Cage. Sighing and knowing it was too late to change his words now, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

He woke up the next morning early. His body wanting to stay in bed, but knowing he had to move and do his run. He needed to stick to his routine or he'd fall right back into troubling behaviour that wouldn't help this bout of Depression at all.

He changed into a tracksuit, grabbed his phone and checked it for messages as he went to leave his room.

He froze when he saw an unknown number had left him a text message. Slowly he opened it to see who it was.

Sam,

Heard loud and clear. You and Castiel both. Got myself a phone, so I'll keep in touch.

Gabriel

Of course, Gabriel missed the evolution of emoji as a language. It felt good to see full words for once in a text.

He was just about to open the door after unlocking it when someone knocked. He paused for a second before opening it up. Castiel was standing on the other side, a small smile on his face. "Hello, Sam. Gabriel contacted me through Angel Radio. He says thanks and he will keep in touch."

Laughing and feeling that today might be a good morning after all, he showed Cass the text. "I got a message too. I prayed to him last night. Told him to take his time and I also warned him Lucifer was out there. I don't know what will happen if those two meet in person again, but I hope it all works out."

Cass nodded before moving out of the way so he could walk passed to go outside and start his run.

Things may be a bit rushed with Dean breathing down their necks to hurry, but right now things were back into the looking up category.

He'd take it.

It gave him hope.