Summary: The TMNT characters get a little professional help for all their problems. Something is telling me this is NOT gonna work out well.
A/N: I'M SORRY!! I'm gonna try to do all the characters and am more than open to suggestions since I'm gonna be posting this as chapters are finished. I might do this in more than one fandom but that would be in a separate fic. Once again you have my apologies. (looks at the characters) Eh-heh... I'm so dead.
Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT but I've got a pair of foam covered plastic 'chucks. So there!
On The Couch: TMNT
"How does that make you feel?" asked the psychiatrist in her patented soothing, you-can-tell-me-all-your-problems, therapist voice.
The mutant rat looked at her in disbelief. "I have just spent the past 55 minutes telling you how it makes me feel!" He exclaimed trying not to let his ever mounting irritation get the best of him.
"How what makes you feel?" asked Dr. Alexandria Persnickety Diddly-Doo. (sharp little bugger isn't she?)
"How being a mutant freak with four mutant freak sons who aren't even the same species and living in the sewers and fighting the foot who work for the super creepy bad guy who killed my master and constantly meeting up with new bad guys who want to kill and/or dissect us and/or use us for some sinister scheme and repelling alien and demon invasions and my sons using all the hot water in the shower before I get there and never replacing the toilet paper rolls when the old one is used up!!" Splinter shouted without taking a breath.
"Don't forget to breathe." Reprimanded Dr. Diddly-Doo helpfully.
Splinter sucked in a huge breathe that had him looking like me might explode if he got anymore air into him.
Dr. Diddly-Doo watched him for a few seconds when he didn't let it out. "Now let it out slowly. Like the gentle release of-"
"AAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" screamed the rat at the top of his lungs. (wow, I didn't know he could hit notes that high.) "I can't take it anymore!" He got up and tried to run for the door but suddenly found his way blocked by some freaky albino dude wearing black robes and wielding a scythe.
"You can't leave," the Doctor informed him still sounding like a hypnotic recording. "You still have three minutes left of this session. I'd hate to have you pay for a full hour session and short you by three minutes."
"Oh, err, that is fine Dr. Diddly-Doo. I do not mind being shorted three minutes." Said Splinter with desperation in his voice as he frantically searched for a way around the creepy guy with the scythe.
"Goodness, no. I would never dream of taking advantage of my clients!" Exclaimed Dr. Diddly-Doo. "Now please sit back on the couch and we'll talk about how you feel."
"NOO!!" Screamed Splinter as he leapt at the black robed figure with his walking stick held ready to strike. His attack was blocked by the scythe but Splinter wasn't going to let anything keep him from his freedom and remaining sanity. In approximately 1.2367 seconds his opponent was laid out flat on the floor and the ninja rat had vanished out the door.
"I'll see you on Thursday for you're next appointment!" Dr. Diddly-Doo called after him.
Splinter's horrified scream echoed across the streets of New York.
"So," she turned to the black clad figure who was picking himself up from the floor, "who's got the next appointment Mr. Grim Reaper?" (like you hadn't guessed who he was already).
He pulled a clipboard from his dress, er, robe and handed it to the good doc.
"Oh, good. I've wanted to meet Raphael for a while now." She said with a delighted smile.
Across the city Raph suddenly got the strangest feeling of impending doom.
Please don't kill me! The bunny made me do it! (holds up adorable black and white bunny with a twitchy nose, big ears and deep brown eyes) Don't let it's appearance fool you, it's evil I tell you! Evil!
Btw would anyone care to review?