A/N: All right, I'm sorry people, but I couldn't get this out of my mind. And I know you are all going to hate me for killing Esther, but this is for the sake of my sanity. I really love abel/esther. They are the best couple ever and I can barely stand myself for doing this.

Disclaimer: I don't own Trinity Blood. May the creator of this wonderful series rest in peace.

Prologue

"ESTHER!" Abel's vice rang out through the rain that was pattering on the heavily curtained windows. Father Abel fell to his knees on the rich wine-colored carpet.

Virgil came up behind him, his voice laced with remorse. "I'm sorry, Father Abel. She was a human. She was old. It's just been…" Virgil took a deep breath, trying to collect himself. "It's just been too long."

Abel crumpled, the picture, the essence, of a broken man. His Esther… his poor Esther. He had left her… alone. He had done the unthinkable, the unforgivable. All to kill his dammed brother, Cain. If he were not already dead, Abel would kill him slowly.

"Father, if there is any consolation, she was thinking of you in her final thoughts, and her final breath was on your name."

"It should not have been wasted." Abel muttered darkly as he got up and leaned an arm against the window.

Virgil stood behind him, "Father, please. She loved you. She wanted you to be happy. Many times over the years she had told me that she would not have asked you to stay. She knew that you weren't going to be happy without him gone."

"I should have stayed… I should have helped her…"

"Abel!" Virgil yelled. "No matter what you did, your pain would be there. Cain would have come to kill her if you stayed. You would always be worried. There would have been no escape!"

"I would have protected her." Abel said, keeping his dark sorrowful voice.

"And would have died trying to do so. It was only recently that you were able to put so much as a scratch on Cain." Virgil said, his vampire sensibility trying to overtake Abel's mourning.

Only a small whimper passed between Abel's lips.

Vigil put his hand comradely on Abel's sloped shoulders. "Abel, this is for you. They are the last things Queen Esther ever wrote." He handed the priest a thick envelope. Abel took it with numb hands. "Abel, do you want me to get Father Tres?"

"No, I'll…" Abel faltered. "I'll be fine." Abel walked out of the room and went the room he had been allotted.

When he got there and had closed the door, he fell to his knees and made a sound like a wounded animal. His shoulders shook with his tears and he pounded the floor. When he could breathe, he crawled over to the bed and dragged himself up. Then his body began trembling again. He didn't think, he didn't need to.

There was a knock at the door. Abel didn't even try to collect himself. He swallowed a few times and willed his voice not to crack.

"What?" he barked sharply.

"Father Abel, status report." Came Tres's monotone voice, devoid of any emotion at all.

Abel became angry then. Angry that Tres could ask him a question like that when it was obvious he could not answer. Abel felt his blood boil, but he bit his tongue. I must remember he's an android. He called out, his voice cracking slightly, "I need time, Tres. I need to be alone."

"Am I not right, Father Abel, when you have had thirty point six months to…"

"Yes, Tres." Abel called sharply. "But I cannot talk now."

"Acceptable." Abel heard Tres's footsteps fade down the hall.

How could Tres feel nothing? Surely he had at least liked Esther enough to be sensitive to the fact that she… was no longer with them. Abel slid off the bed and onto his knees, clasping his hands together, he uttered a long prayer, sometimes repeating himself to make sure that he confessed every sin, and all that he would do to make amends for that sin if he could one day end up in heaven with his Esther.

When he was done, tears flowed freely down his face as he raised his head heaven word and said in a daringly hopeful voice, "My Esther, please, please forgive me. I am not worth your thoughts and leaving you was a sin in itself. I cannot express my grief and nor do I want to inflict it on you, as I have done already much…" Abel's voice broke. "… too much. Esther, I'm sorry."

Abel hung his head. As his eyes were brought up, he saw the letter from Esther he had so unceremoniously dropped on the floor. His hands shook as he picked it up and he sat in the plush red chair in the corner. He opened the envelope and out slid something into his lap. The first thing he noticed was fifty dinars. Abel smiled wrly, despite the overflowing tears threatening to swallow his blue eyes. He always needed money from Esther, and she remembered after all those years.

Then he notice something much larger. It was his old glasses! A note was tied to them with… his old black velvet ribbon! Abel removed the small rope he had been using to tie his long hair up. He tied his velvet ribbon and put his glasses back into place. He picked up the note.

Abel,

I found these the day I became queen after your, let's say hurried exit. I knew you'd want them, so here they are, just as they were the day you left.

E.

Abel put the note back into the envelope. He reached in and found a letter. The first thing he noticed was that the handwriting was much smaller. It was obvious that se was much older when she wrote it. Another heart-wrenching reminder that Abel never came back.

My dear Abel,

I hope this letter finds you as well as you were the day you left, better in fact. I know my time is short and I can't stop myself from thinking of you and only you. I have no one in this world that has ever made me care about their well-being as much as you have, and yet I haven't seen you in years.

I'll bet that though I have changed much in the past years, you have not changed a wink. If you can believe this, I can remember everything about you. Oh well, I do not need to tell you who you are or what you look like. If you need to know, look in a mirror.

Abel, I want you to know that I love you and always have. I never gave up hope that you would come back. Now I want you to know that you have always been with me, and now I will always be with you. Abel, I know that you will grieve and I know that you feel as if you have sinned, but believe me when I tell you, you are not the monster you think you are and have no reason to be sad. If I were with you right now, I'd probably bring you out for a special dinner. Some large dish, and thirteen sugars I believe?

Anyway, I'm sure you do not want to listen to an old lady's drabble... (Abel's heart tighten sickeningly at the words 'old lady's) or perhaps you do. Don't dwell over this, Abel. We all knew it would happen. I want you to fall in love with life. I want you to live-

Abel blinked. His anger rose again. I can't do that, esther. Damnit, why can't you understand this? I can't1 I won't! He swallowed his heart and felt like his stomach was coming out. He sobbed into his hands, though he smudged the precious writing. He fell asleep like that.

If someone were to look in on the broken man, they would have seen the note. And they would have seen written quite clearly

Abel, I want you to fall in love again.

A/N: again, I want you to know that I love the esther/abel pairing and I'm sorry if I totally screwed up, but this is, if not for anything else, for my sanity.